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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 8:18:21 PM | I would mention to her that you have been thinking about talking to her dad about it. Ask her how she would feel about that and if she thinks that would help the situation.
If she wants your relationship to work as much as you do, I think she would be grateful and try anything to rectify it.
Good Luck! | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 8:30:52 PM | Shug, it sounds like you did as much as you can do.
I think a good portion of us already agree that:
I think her Dad did much more damage here then I can image...
Sometimes as with momma's boys, there is little that can be done with daddy's little girl.
She is a woman, no matter the fact that she is sheltered, blah blah blah. At some point she has to decide to cut the apron strings. It sounds, and this is JUST an assumption, that she isn't willing to cut the apron strings.
There isn't much you can do about it.
However
all I get in return is that people dont trust me, they think I am a second class citizen, etc. Why? Why am I different or less of a person?
It isn't healthy for you to think that you are a 2nd class citizen for what you did. You paid the price, and have been remorseful every since. If people feel the need to be judge and jury against you, THEY are in the wrong.
Sometimes you have to just walk away.
No it doesn't feel good, and in fact it hurts like hell... Especially when you have a "one in a million" connection.
This may not be of much comfort, sometimes the best is yet to come, and you will have ended up way better off things ending now. If her dad is keeping her like a caged up bird, there isn't going to be anyone good enough for his little girl...
She is the one that is going to pay the price, and further more one of loneliness when dear ol dad dies. Cause then who is going to do the thinking for her then? | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 8:32:52 PM |
Should I talk to her before talking to him to make sure she won't be offended? I don't want to upset her anymore than I already of have.
What does your heart tell you?
You know these people, we don't... I wouldn't want to direct you in any way not knowing the opposing side. | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 8:36:47 PM | | I would think that she would want me to fight for us... I would think that she would want me to stick up for not only myself, but for us. I just wonder what is really going through her mind.. everyone has given me a lot of think about and I want to make the right decision. I want to do the right thing.. At the same time I feel the need and want to confront her Dad.. to ask him why? and ask him what his intentions are? He knows first hand how much she loved me.. why would he step in and try to destroy this love when he knows first hand how much I love and cared for her. He met me.. he knows I have NEVER EVER done anything that wasn't in her best interest. I've always treated her with the upmost respent and with total love. I don't understand what really happened and why he felt the need to trump what she wanted. | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 8:51:31 PM | Shug, sometimes you will never get the answers.
You can ask, but that doesn't mean you will get the answers.
You can fight for her. That is NOT a bad thing in the least, but it doesn't mean you will win... HOWEVER you will have given your 100%, and stood up for what was right, and what YOU believed in. | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 9:37:55 PM | | At least she didn't leave you for another guy, that's worse. That's what the biggest mistake of my life did...... | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 10:39:22 PM |
I would think that she would want me to fight for us.
Really? REALLY?
Welp! Then ... DO IT!
HE11, who knooows, MayBe her pops is 'waiting for/expecting' the Same thing?
If NO? I think that 'Next Time' *NAILED* it.
Ya know , i Did have some 'reservation' - about the crimes/nature of the crimes.
(tis 'WHY' i asked/inquired)
But? ooooh, *Poohey* !
Whilst 'computer hacking' Does 'hit a cord...a deep Deep Core, actually - with Me
(for Very Personal Reason)
The fact that OPs crime involved an 'institution' (bank - right?) Well....
I almost feel 'ashamed' for having asked. But? I Did, annnd? OP Answered, Immediately
(well, Quickly anyhow)
It just sux , that OP couldn't have been so Forthcoming w/his gal. BUT! i knooow
"Woulda/Shoulda/Coulda"s = Waste of TIME!
Tis 'Here,Now' , Hopefully...Now Here will NOT = Nowhere.
*Good Luck* OP , 'Go After' that Gal You LOVE , Know that You Did EveryThing to prevent any More "Woulda/Shoulda/Coulda"s
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:09:07 PM | Mountaineer, I am having a slightly different reaction to your post, maybe for personal reasons. I am sensing a control issue here on your part. Could one reason you didn't tell her early on was because you knew she would react just the way she did react, the way you didn't want her to?
And you ask "how do I get her to see my past was a painful part of my life and she shouldn't be taking this personal". Well to me that totally smacks of a control issue.
I acknowledge that I have no idea what your relationship was like before she found out, but my guess is that it wasn't just her finding out about your record alone that she is reacting to.
Just wondering. | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/11/2008 11:12:44 PM | Hi Love,
I think she needs to grow up a little, whatever one has done befor meeting is their own business, it was no concern of hers in anyway and you more then proved yourself to her. Question yourself as to why she could not forgive this small mistake ? Ask yourself does she need to tell me something and does not know how? hmm if you cared for each other the way you say you should both learn to forgive each other as well. I am certain that if things went further with the both of you then you would have told her. You have not messed up love she has by taking the first excuse to leave, what trust have you betrayed ? there was no betrayal from you the betrayal was from her not giving you the benifit of the doubt and discussing things through like 2 adults who loved each other no matter what. I think she has used this as an excuse to leave because she was not ready to commit to you, she has run and it saved her the trouble of facing you and making you feel to blame, she still keeps in contact with you to tell you all the things you want to hear. This is what I believe from your story so why not use reverse psychology to find out ......? next time you chat with her just say well darling as much as i love you maybe its time to move on as where there is no trust there is no future ........... and wait for her response I will grant you that she will say Yes my darling you maybe right and as much as I love you this can go no further.? | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 1:35:37 AM | mountaineer69 wrote:
I know I didn't tell her.. I know I messed up, but why do I have to pay with
the ultimate loss?
You shouldn't have to pay some ultimate loss over this. And I'm guessing
this probably won't even be much of an issue at this point with some girlfriend
who more maturely had a backbone for dealing with her own family.
Why won't she talk more to me about her feelings on the subject?
If she's 31 and not talking to you about this, that in and of itself should
be sending up a red flag for you.
She still call and we sill talk. Obviously she still loves me..
She can say she loves you all she wants. She can even cry over it. But
love is as love does, and if she was genuinely loving to both you and to
the relationship the two of you have, then the act of love in this case
would be for her to tell her father to butt out. But at age 31, if she doesn't
have enough backbone to do that, then she herself is not treating this
relationship in a respectful manner.
But you're perhaps just not going to understand that if your head is so
thick in the cloud of feeling self-shame over something you did 15 years
ago that you can't seem to see you are the one who is being victimized
right now.
Where's your sense of limits and boundaries? Where's your sense of
"I deserve better than this"? Where's your sense of righteous indignation
towards a girlfriend who won't stand up for you and set some healthy boundaries
with her family so as to protect the relationship you and her have together?
The fact of the matter is that no one is so much victimizing you in this situation
than you yourself, and doing so by at all tolerating any of what's going on here
rather than respecting yourself enough to say "I deserve better than this."
I don't feel that what I did was right for one minute (past crimes) because they weren't. But what I have been trying to say is this.. how long do I have to pay the price for what I did?
My guess is that you're going to continue to pay the price for what you did until
you finally start acting a bit more self-loving. And certainly one way of acting
self loving is to not tolerate a girlfriend who won't stand up to her father and
tell him to butt out of your relationship.
But how do I convey why I was scared? I've tried talking to her.. I've spilled
my heart to her...
If you've talked to her, if you've spilled your heart to her, then you've done
what you can. And now there's some responsibility on her part, not the least of
whichis to have a backbone and set some limits and boundaries with her family
so as to protect you and the relationship the two of you have. But if at age 31
she's not going to do that, then she's just not mature enough to act in a loving
manner no matter what she said with her words. And if that's the case, then at
the very least you need to be respectful of yourself not to tolerates some gal
who won't step up to the plate when it's called for.
Once again, no one is so much victimizing you in this situation than you yourself,
and doing so by at all tolerating any of what's going on here rather than respecting
yourself enough to say "I deserve better than this."
I am a man... I'll do what needs to be done and take my
mistakes on the chin, but this feels really wrong to me. I'm not sure how to
proceed or what to say to her.
What to say to her? You tell her love is as love does, and acting in a loving
manner in this case means being protective of you and the relationship the two
of you have by having her tell her old man to butt out, and in so doing, effectively
having her set some healthy boundaries with her family where the relationship
between you and her is concerned.
And if she's genuinely loving, then she'll do that -- this 31 year old woman will
not allow her family to be interfering with the relationship you and her have.
But if she's not going to do that, then in the most practical of terms, she's still a child.
And if that's the case, then the most self-loving and self-respecting thing you
can do for yourself if break from this person and otherwise find yourself someone
who isn't so emeshed with their family, someone who will set some boundaries
with extended family, and someone who will be protective of your relationship.
In other words, someone who in mature manner will act lovingly and be
respectful towards you.
Should I talk to her before talking to him [her father] to make sure she
won't be offended? I don't want to upset her anymore than I already of have.
You shouldn't be talking to her father at all. Why? For two main reasons: First,
this is none of his business, and second, if anyone should be talking to him (and
indeed setting some boundaries with him) it's not so much you, but rather his
own grown daughter.
We each of us are the respective ambassadors to our own respective extended
families -- it's your job to set healthy boundaries with your family where your
relationship with your girlfriend is concern, and it is her job to set healthy
boundaries with her family where your relationship with her is concerned.
But if her father is interfering and undermining the relationship between you
and her, then it's her job to be dealing with her father about this, not yours.
But if she's not going to do that, then let's not pretend that she's acting in a loving
manner. Love is as love does. And in this case, she's the ambassador to her family,
and so she's the one who needs to be standing up to be setting limits and boundaries
with them so as to preserve and protect the relationship between the two of you.
And again, if she's not going to do that, then I'd suggest you at least respect yourself
enough to get out, to appreciate that you deserve better than this, and to otherwise
in self-loving manner find yourself a gal who will treat your relationship with more
dignity and respect.
But all of it begins with you.... that it's not so much your past which is haunting
you, but rather that you yourself are allowing your past to keep you from being
self-loving, self-respecting, and from that, not tolerate anyone who won't treat
you with both dignity and respect.
So you want things to change for the better? Then consider being more self-loving,
more self-respectful, and don't tolerate anyone who would treat you with anything
less than that. And if you are self-loving, then you just won't tolerate any 31 year
old girlfriend who won't have enough backbone to set some healthy boundaries
with her family so as to protect and preserve the relationship the two of you have.
Apolinary | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 2:52:43 AM | *travelguy* wrote:
Apolinary
What if they are a close knit family & she actually seeks the advice of her parents? You & I are only making assumptions as to the nature of their relationships. She's obviously got something over a lot of other women (in the OP's opinion...)
Well, that's alright if she would seek the advise of her parents. And from that,
at age 31, she's old enough to make up her own mind about whether to continue
this relationship with her boyfriend or not.
And if she wants to break off the relationship, then she should do so without
dragging things out.
And if she otherwise of the mind that she wants to continue with this relationship,
then part of her obligation is to be the ambassador to her own family and to set
some boundaries with them so as to protect and preserve the relationship.
And if the original poster is at all self-loving and self-respectful , he won't tolerate
any gal who would either agonizingly drag their relationship out, or tolerate any
gal who wouldn't set limits and boundaries with her family so as to protect and
preserve the relationship these two have.
But if these two would not continue their relationship, then we would hope that
it is done only because of their decision, and not at all because of the interference
or any undermining of any extended family.
Apolinary | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 2:53:27 AM |
*travelguy* wrote:
Apolinary
What if they are a close knit family & she actually seeks the advice of her parents? You & I are only making assumptions as to the nature of their relationships. She's obviously got something over a lot of other women (in the OP's opinion...)
Well, that's alright if she would seek the advise of her parents. And from that,
at age 31, she's old enough to make up her own mind about whether to continue
this relationship with her boyfriend or not.
And if she wants to break off the relationship, then she should do so without
dragging things out.
And if she otherwise of the mind that she wants to continue with this relationship,
then part of her obligation is to be the ambassador to her own family and to set
some healthy boundaries with them so as to protect and preserve the relationship.
And if the original poster is at all self-loving and self-respectful , he won't tolerate
any gal who would either agonizingly drag their relationship out, or tolerate any
gal who wouldn't set limits and boundaries with her family so as to protect and
preserve the relationship these two have.
But if these two would not continue their relationship, then we would hope that
it is done only because of their decision, and not at all because of the interference
or any undermining of any extended family.
Apolinary | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 3:29:51 AM | You're definately beating yourself up over this OP...but from what Ive read you seem to be doing all you can and approaching it as best you can with the lines of communication open with this lady.
I already made a post in this thread at #38 ....but just wanted to mention that alot of people are missing a vital point as to this situation.
The girl comes from a well-to-do family...the crime was theft and he wasnt upfront.
Its logical for them to see this as a SUPER red flag.
You think people like the Hiltons dont do checks? You're naive and frankly, more people should do it cos there's alot more dishonest people out there than not.
I stated already that I would do a policecheck...infact I dunno why people dont do checks as routine without assuming what you see is what you get and then whine about the consequences.
Wanna make a good decision? Do your homework.
At the same time I feel the need and want to confront her Dad.. to ask him why? and ask him what his intentions are?
Dont ask the man anything... it will come across as desperate and pleading. If you have a conversation...just tell him how you feel and tell him you have the utmost respect for his daughter and his own personal concerns, but that you love her and fully intend on doing the right thing by her.
That you apologize for not telling her about the situation but you really had no idea how to do it without her losing faith in you.
But what I have been trying to say is this.. how long do I have to pay the price for what I did? I've done my best to become a healthy part of society. I've done my best to pay back for what I've done. Ive done my best to let everyone know that I did wrong and take responsibility for what I did.
Unfortunately OP (and you get my sympathy here)...it will be part of your history forever.
Clearly upsetting for one time offenders (whether it be through youth or not) and for people who truly want to move beyond one mistake in life.
I've been so ashamed of having a record that I try to keep it a secret.
Dont be ashamed OP...believe it or not the best thing you can do is embrace it as part of who you've become.
I do think you'll move past this with her to be honest, it'll just take time.  | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 4:43:12 AM | Kynnie you've hit the nail on the head.
how long do I have to pay the price for what I did?.
Sadly mate sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
It's not only how long but how much you have to pay!
Unfortunately you've hit the worst combination here of fraud mixed with a family that seems to view personal & financial integrity very highly. If they were a bunch of state bludgers they might not give a toss.
I'd still like to know how you'd describe their faith, It would have a big influence on how they view you.
Think carefully before you act, & take your time. If she loves you she'll wait.
Apolinary I'd more or less agree with you last post. | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 4:51:13 AM |
Unfortunately OP (and you get my sympathy here)...it will be part of your history forever.
Clearly upsetting for one time offenders (whether it be through youth or not) and for people who truly want to move beyond one mistake in life.
I've been so ashamed of having a record that I try to keep it a secret.
OP, depending on the jurisdiction you're in, you might have the option of getting the felony reduced to a misdemeanor and then get the misdemeanor expunged from your public record. Law enforcement will always have it, but no one else may have to know.
If you haven't had any serious offenses since, you might be eligible. California for one, but probably other states as well, sees no interest in continuing to punish one-time offenders who've turned themselves around. If that sounds like you, check with your local DA or a good criminal lawyer to see what your options are.
Good luck! | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:14:51 AM | | Msg 79 It's all good for you to say 'I THINK SHE WOULD WANT ME TO FIGHT FOR US", however she is 31, how about HER fighting for what she wants. And asking her dad why will prob get you......Because shes my daughter and It's my job to protect her. You have a hard hill to climb here if she is so dependent on what her family thinks rather than her own independent thought. Good Luck | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 5:24:03 AM | I'm sorry you're going through this....
You just have to be honest and let her know that it was 15 years ago... something you're not proud of and you just weren't ready to share it yet... If she wants to end a wonderful relationship over a past mistake that wasn't disclosed it will be her loss....
Tell her about the couple that was married 16 years.... and all of the sudden out of the blue her husband was arrested. She found out he was arrested on old warrants. She asked why he never told her about it... his repsonse was.. YOU never asked!
There is a great online book called 1,000 questions couples should know... maybe take baby steps and answer 5-10 of these questions per phone conversation.... so you can really get to know eachother. 6 months is the honeymoon phase... you guys can get past this but, ONLY if both of you are willing to fight for your relationship. | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 6:35:38 AM | I've read and read your thread, and heres the way I see some of atmosphere your living under.
(1) one SHE is daddies girl- over protected
(2) she betrayed you by not asking your for permission for a background check
This makes her desceptive
(3) Everyone should be givin a second chance you've proved your by improving-past
(4) you'll be looking over your shoulder the rest of your relationship-whats next?
(5) She will hold it against you and throw it at you sooner or later than expected.
(6) she doesn't seen forgiving and she has doubts also not forgiveness
(7) You both are building doubts for the relationship at this point
(8) SHE doesn't want it why fight it- I know it very hard
(9) The family will look down on you- thy seem to be involved in her choices also
(10)LOVE can be an illiusion after the bubble has burst in your case
I wish you the best- but it sometimes better to revert to friendship than carry on a relationship with a heavy love-hate relationship & atmosphere.
Just trying to help you open your eyes as to what might happen, I feel for you!
AGAIN BEST OF LUCK -----YOUR CHOICE___ | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 7:47:17 AM | Hi again OP...
I wrote to you earlier in message 36...
Talk to her and let her know that you would like to speak with her father...
As one of the posts mentioned, you know the family dynamics better than we do...
I beg to differ with many of the posts that feel the Dad should not have done this...it is a parents perogative to do whatever they feel is in the best interest of the child !
Yes, 31 seems old enough but SHE HAS LED A SHELTERED LIFE...
I thought of doing one on my daughter's boyfriend (24 ) because I had a gut feeling that there were some major problems in his past...
I didn't have to because the day he asked me for my daughter's hand in marriage, he told me about his past (and it isn't all pretty)...
He recieved my blessings for the engagment and we had a great talk...
I totally respect him for being man enough to accept his mistakes and own up to them...
People that lament that it is in the past are sorely mistaken ...SORRY
It comes back to bite you in the a$$ or you are so pre-occupied trying to hide it that you are not being true to yourself or anyone else for that matter...
I KNEW my son in law to be was hiding something...and I was worried for my daughter.
He is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON around me now that the skeleton has been exposed !!!
LLL to all !!!
Go for it OP !!! ***THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE*** | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 7:58:55 AM | How long ago did this happen (the disagreement between the two of you) - don't worry so much yet. Maybe she just needs a little time to calm down and put it into perspective. It's not easy talking about ones past (especially when it involves crime - unless it's indecent exposure, for some reason people get off on that *shrug* :)) ... if she feels the same way she won't be able to help but ask what the heck happened (in detail as you must know how us women LOVE details - lol ... sorry, trying to cheer you up) , but when it does happen (and it will - I have a good feeling about it) you will be better to explain these things to her. She may have issues with dating someone who has gone to jail (I do - my father is a Corrections Officer, and then the worst ended up happening to me on that one - I won't go on with it) and she doesn't want to say anything until she has a little time to mull it over, y'know? It will work out for the best, I assure you.
Don't fib to her again - you saw what happened this time and this is small potatos ... and btw, did you ever say you hadn't? ... I know a lie of ommison is still a lie, but TELL her how uncomfortable you were speaking of the SUBJECT, not to her ABOUT the subject, and see where it leads you ... higher ground - your one get out of jail card free :)
good luck Bud, I truly wish you to the best ... and tell your chickie to quit being so overemotional ... its not like you have kids with another woman and weren't telling her (it could get a whole lot worst than some piddly little thing in the PAST) ... with all due respect :) | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 9:15:15 AM | There was this movie back in the 1980's called "Garp" with Robin Williams. He and his wife are looking at a new house with a realtor. They're standing outside when all of a sudden a small airplane comes oout of nowhere and crashes right into the front of the house. The realtor is horrified and speechless.
Robin Williams gets all excited and tells his wife they HAVE to buy this house, because the most horrible thing that could have ever happened to it has already happened. They got that part out of the way. Now, after the repairs, the rest is cake.
What I take from that is that the best part about people is their worst. Once the worst has been dealt with and is over, the rest is cake. Seeing people at their worst is a privilege, not a curse, because that's where we're our most vulnerable, our most human and our most genuine. That's also why, at the age of 43, I'm drawn to older women who've had some life experience under their belt. We've already unmasked the illusion: life is not pretty and it's not fair. And that's okay.
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you'll find someone who will encounter your worst and honor it. I think it took a lot of guts to ask for input. Thanks. | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 9:38:05 AM | m take care y advise is forget her seems like she wanted a reason for out thats it everyone has a past everyone yours your business hers same if she cant respect that then shes no good time to move on shes not the one for u some people tell u what u wana hear and she seems one sorry get out there theres more one right one u lucky u didnt marry her without realising it she did u a favour if it was me i buy her a thank u card take care xxx teresa | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 10:22:09 AM | This brings to mind several guys' confessions and when the confessions were revealed in the course of my involvement. In both instances, it was more than 2 years into knowing the guys, so 6 months is...not "holding out."
One of them was criminal offense (drug dealing, and in the military). The man's attitude was disgustingly unrepentant--also now living a Christian life: but obviously not resolved or at peace. As a result, he was continuing to wreak a path of destructive behaviors with beligerant and defiant immorality, irresponsibility, and deceit. (Hiding under the robes of righteousness, but continuing to make/do/justify some heinously uncivil behaviors.
The other one involved a guy 'stealing' his best friend's wife...and then the tables turned, when 8 years later she ran off with the next door neighbor. This guy's heart is (to this day) distrustful, unforgiving, avenging--he can't even get along with his own children.
My view of your mistake is that it's good the truth is out--although the situation with this woman is painful and many unknowns. Work through it with prayer...this place is people opinions--yet, you've got to resolve this within yourself. I guess that's why I shared these two stories that never healed--they're quite painful for me to have gotten involved in, yet they continue to harangue the "perpetrators." I think of David and Bathsheba's son...in spite of being told what was going to happen, David continued to pray--until it was no longer going to change the situation...but, after the child died anyway, David forgave himself (my point). | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 3:20:08 PM | The crime was Criminal Possession of Leased Property and Bank Fraud.. I got pissed at my bank and took my money back through the wire systems and when caught the computer wasn't returned resulting in Criminal Possession of Leased Property.
What am I missing here?
The last I noticed, my bank hasn't been particularly concerned about my removing MY money from MY bank account. There is more to this story than you have shared. You are, of course, not required to share it; but I wonder what else this background check revealed about your past.
It has occurred to me that it is only your perception of this young woman which we are receiving. Is she truly as sheltered and naive as you present her as being? Is it possible that viewing her this way is your way of coping with her actions? In blaming her father, you do not have to be angry with your ex-girlfriend. You can continue to view her as a perfect creature, and her father as the big ogre.
Perhaps your ex is truly thinking on her own, and standing on her own two feet on this one. I, myself, have been in the position of ending a relationship with someone whom I continued to love. I knew it was necessary for us to part, due to actions on his part..........but I missed this man terribly and had difficulty making a clean break.
Perhaps your ex is in the same position: she loves you, and misses you, but knows that there is not a future for the two of you. She came to realize that when the truth about your past was revealed to her--------not by your own admission, but through a background check. I can understand how she feels betrayed, as you chose to lie to her when she asked if you had anything criminal in your background.
Her trust has been broken. She is wondering what else you have withheld from her. Even if there is nothing else, she wonders about it. She does not want to build a relationship with someone she does not feel she can trust to be truthful with her.
I'm sorry if my words are hurtful to you. I do wish you the best in your painful situation. | |
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| Biggest mistake of my life...
Posted: 2/12/2008 3:29:37 PM | | ah my this is a sticky one. being a former stripper( the secret is out) i can totally understand why you did not tell her this. how did she find out? was she checking up on you? sounds like she is the one with trust issues. you did not mess up it is your past not her, do you think i go around telling everyone about my former profession? not at all. my business no one else. you should not be taking this responibility all on yourself. she is the one with trust issues not you. if this is tearing her apart like she did to you she would say this was the past and move on. she has a problem with someone who was incarcirated and shame on her. people make mistakes. i know you do not want to hear this but move on. she is not worth your time. why? she will hurt you in the end. trust me i know. | |
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