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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/17/2008 11:40:01 PM | Cunning Linguist (I have trouble typing that username…lol), thanks for responding to my post.
First, I agree that you can't prove a negative, and I posted that myself in post 195, just before basically being called a "mean girl." That's part of the problem to me, that if someone is suspicious, reading your emails isn't going to allay their fears, even if there is nothing there to PROVE their suspicions correct.
More importantly, I take your point about the difference between just automatically suspicious people, and people who have noted a change in their partner's behavior, and are concerned by that, and have reason to TRY to find out the cause. But while obviously the best relationships are those in which there is no cause given to feel suspicious, if that changes, isn't that—as slysterling has (IMO) very effectively argued—the problem?
You say this, and it has given me some things to think about:
someone being distant and distracted because of things like tension at stress often wont realise they are stressed or that its changed their behaviour so they wont be able to explain away the change in their behaviour
To a partner that can just as easily be seen as them hiding the reason for the change and suspicion is bourne. And in countless instances that inability to either discuss, alter or explain away the occurence will grow like a cancer eventually undermining the relationship
So when one of a couple had reached the point where they would be considering reading emails and the like how they arrived at that point and why is the more important thing. The fact they are there becomes more irrelevant really
The act itself is though often their only step forward if either their partner IS hiding something or isnt aware of the changes in them that is causing the suspicion to begin with as that leaves them with an empass which will just fester and end the relationship anyway given time to grow
My point is that too many people talk in such absolutes, as tho they are an open book, as tho certain gestures have only negative connotations, as tho a thing like this is the end of a relationship or trust
In reality someone who isnt bothered about a partner or relationship wouldnt need to bother doing it, the need to do so would be enough to end the relationship on
The fact someone needs to look for actual proof of a suspicion shows hope they havent assumed their suspicion is either factual, actual or valid, it shows they have enough value placed on the relationship to need something of substance before ending it or still wants to find something to put their mind at rest about the whole thing
None of which will come from a person who cant even perceive the changes in their own mood and behaviour that are at the root of the suspicion to begin with
Yes, I can see that some people won’t realize that their behavior has changed… and it’s a valid argument that someone who goes to the length of reading their partner’s emails might be acting on hope and a desire to believe that their suspicions are unfounded (rather than simple manic distrust, which I suspect is normally case in these situations). But while I don’t want to appear naïve, to me that’s where communication comes in. You address it, you ask, you discuss your concerns, you explain how and why you think things have changed, and then you judge the immediate reaction and/or long-term response you get from that. You judge whether or not it seems plausible that this is about stress or something like that, you use your reason to think about whether “distance” equals “hiding things”—and there are, usually at least, ways of discerning those things… of seeing the difference between “hiding things” and seeming preoccupied....talk talk talk, I believe in talk.
So yes, you can hire a detective, you can break into email accounts, you can spy in other ways…. But my feeling is that if you have a relationship in which one person is hiding things, in the long term that’s a very distinct kind of (and reflection of) a withdrawal from intimacy, and THAT (the withdrawal) is the problem. To me, the very fact of my having cause to suspect my partner of infidelity is itself what would be the killer in the long run… and since I consider infidelity usually a SYMPTOM rather than the CAUSE of a relationship going wrong (whatever people often want to pretend, I DON’T believe that happy people normally cheat), finding out conclusively whether someone is cheating would be secondary, in my book, to those larger problems… in fact, I think that recognizing the difference between cause and effect and working on resolving the CAUSE is probably key on those rare occasions that marriages that have experienced infidelity are actually SAVED.
The other thing I wanted to mention is about the likening of seeing a counselor or therapist to exposing secrets in other ways. What I was talking about wasn't the ethics of talking to a counselor versus a friend, it was the possibility that a person embracing an ethics excluding privacy (of itself) wholesale from an intimate relationship might SEE a counselor/patient relationship (and the things said within it) as out of bounds or unreasonable, because it IS an inherently PRIVATE relationship. I know it’s extreme—as I said before (I think)—but it’s the logical outcome of the principle that any sense of individual privacy is wholly unnecessary within or even a barrier to an intimate relationship...
Again, thanks for your thoughtful reply to my questions. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/18/2008 4:09:46 PM | teach her a lesson
put something in the email that will definitely make her overreact, like you went to the dr's and you only have 6 months left to live, and you dont want to tell your loved ones, you dont want them worrying...
of course, this is a totally juvenile thing to do....but it WOULD teach her a lesson
ps. how do you KNOW she is reading your email? can you prove it?
reading someone else's mail is a federal offense....im thinking along the lines of reading someone else's email is too....IF you can prove it
just my two cents | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/18/2008 4:39:06 PM | without your knowledge
IMO those are the key words. People have different ideas of what and how much privacy they desire or are willing to give.
I am of the mindset, if I am involved, it wouldn't matter. If it hadn't been discussed, it wouldn't be a dealbreaker, but I would just say it should have been talked about beforehand. Just ask...no problem.
There wouldn't be anything to "find" or "discover". If I were involved and a friend wanted to keep something "private" then I'd inform my partner and expect that it would be respected. And vice versa.
I have worked for a public corporation, and sent myself email with attachments to do work at home. That info has to be confidential.
If there's not a legit reason (work, personal friend confidence) then go ahead. It's never been an issue, personally.
The people who know me...well they just know. If they want to keep it between just us, and I am involved, then they just have to say so.
I am trusted by people I know with their confidence that it stays between us. That's a very special thing to me, a sacred trust that's never been violated or will be. Anyone that would be involved with me would know that. 
I've been snooped on before, for whatever reason...they fessed up it was their insecurity. They felt silly because ...well there was nothing. It didn't upset me...just thought it strange. I think the bigger factor is why they are. That's why the "without your knowledge" would be the only thing to even ask. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:07:16 AM | Been there & done that......The ex read my email for years, which taught me the meaning of the term " violation". It was just one symptom of a larger problem. Other symptoms included other forms of snooping & lying, & often going as far as lying about things there was no reason to lie about & creating things to lie about. In retrospect, I think it wasn't insecurity as much as her sabotaging our chances for success. It could have destroyed my chances of trusting anyone again, but.....life happens. I am sensitive re untruthfulness, & have very little tolerance in that department. I also, since my marriage imploded, have trouble being around couples who aren't honest with each other. I lost a friend a couple years ago who wanted me to lie to his longtime partner, & friends are valuable&it hurt, but I won't let that behavior into my life anymore.....
I know that there are people who value trust in a relationship & am hoping to cross paths with someone who does. It sure would be nice....... | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:27:34 AM | | OOPS. Reading back over some of these dissertation length posts, I saw one which kind of shakes my stand. JulietJuliet said that by giving your partner your password you're inviting or allowing-I'm not sure which word she used-them to read your email. There's a good argument there. BUT(one of those big buts-I'm good at them) : trust ina relationship isa big thing, probably the biggest thing for me. We-the ex & me- comingled essentially everything from day one. Joint accounts, property, whats mine was hers&vice versa. We didn't even have email for a large part of our relationship-we got together in 87 & didn't get out first computer until the mid 90's. I had her password too - it was a very consious choice, sort of a symbol that she&I had no secrets from each other. I not only never went into her email, but I literally never even thought of doing so. For one thing, I trusted her&never felt a need to check up on her. Also - I have my share of character defects, but snooping isn't one of them-it's never been my thing. She was going in there without my knowledge. I often even shared with her, in conversation-so&so emailed me & said this or that & all the while she was a step ahead of me. It was a violation, & I get a bit of creepy flashbacky feelings just thinking&talking about it. Its a violation...... | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:46:45 AM | I get this is actually a 'My partner doesn't respect my privacy' issue, but to address only the instance at hand:
First, email isn't private ... like ... at all. It's largely sent and stored as unencrypted text between a minimum of 4 computers (sender's PC, sender's outgoing mail server, recipient's incoming mail server, recipient's PC).
So, anybody with reasonable access on those machines can pretty well just look at whatever's there. (i.e. assume every member of the tech staff of both the sender's ISP and the recipient's ISP can get to any customer's mail (many can).)
And that's not taking into account servers that filter mail content for spam, viruses, etc. Which will look for certain behavior, senders, recipients, subject lines, or elements of text and then archive the message and alert somebody when something 'interesting' is found.
Strangers see your mail.
Second, I'm going to guess that the shared living space implies a shared PC that the mail is being read upon, and that the partner is just opening up Outlook or whatever and looking at the list of mail in the inbox rather than, say, manipulating the file that is the mail store manually, or otherwise expressly using some sort of exploitive tool to look at the stored mail for another user on the same computer.
If you don't want multiple people to see your desktop and your mail client and such:
Set up separate user accounts for each computer user.
Put a password on your account.
Don't save your email username and password in your mail client.
Log out of the machine when you're not sitting at it.
Finally, I think the greater issue is this. What's the problem with your partner seeing your email? You're living together. They answer your phone, they go to the mailbox, ostensibly they've seen the funny birthmark on your inner thigh that looks like Mickey Mouse.
I mean, if they can't chuckle at a couple Viagra spam emails or are shocked by something you're subscribed to ... (pauses ... looks at the forum he's in) ... oh, dude, you got busted by your live-in catching the weekly 'new matches' mail from POF ... (snicker)
Um ... you can turn that off in your settings here. :)
But seriously, if there's actual private stuff, like, say, financial statements and the like, take the time to actually protect your PC, and keep in mind, if you ever check that sort of stuff from work or from some other computer, it's all stored there too and anybody that has access to any of the machines that mail touches can get to it.
If you're checking personal mail on a work computer, for example, expect your IT staff to have seen the To: From: and Subject: lines if not the content of the message. It's pretty standard.
-John | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 1:50:06 PM | That depends on two things, is their are reason........ Women are intuitive in realationships and if she is following her intuition and their is something to find then, absolutley not..... It drives women crazy to go against their intuition.
In my opinion it is time for her to leave, before or after she read your e-mails, their is nothing private between to people who share their lives together, you should have no problem sharing your e-mails and the relationships of the people sending them, she should know these people sending you emails anyway by now, you are living together, what is the problem.
The most intimate thing a woman can do is trust a man enough to move in and share his bed and her life with him, and now you want privacy from her.
If you want privacy then stay single, but no, you want the benefits of a live in relationship and the privacy and freedom of being single.
You should have no concerns and nothing to hide, but since you do, if I was her I would move out immediatley and say nothing more to you ever.
Your using this woman and she obviously feels it and is following through on her feelings.
I would give you all the privacy need buddy, you would never see me again.....
The truth is I have never checked on any one, not even my sons, I dont' need to, I follow my intuition and I am never wrong, never......
and in this case Mr, I would say she is just trying to see waht all the PRIVACY is about, you are on here aren't you......
Men like you make me sick, you now want other's to support you in your quest for privacy..... If you want privacy do her a favour move out and go and hide somewhere realy privte where no one will read your emails or anything else.
I amsure she has shared many private details and much intimacy with her and of course it means nothing to you, Mr me me me me, take take take......
I hope she wakes up and gets out, and women give you privacy permanentley and allow you to stay single for good.......
YUK | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:15:53 PM | That depends on two things, is their are reason........ Women are intuitive in realationships and if she is following her intuition and their is something to find then, absolutley not..... It drives women crazy to go against their intuition.
In my opinion it is time for her to leave, before or after she read your e-mails, their is nothing private between to people who share their lives together, you should have no problem sharing your e-mails and the relationships of the people sending them, she should know these people sending you emails anyway by now, you are living together, what is the problem.
The most intimate thing a woman can do is trust a man enough to move in and share his bed and her life with him, and now you want privacy from her.
If you want privacy then stay single, but no, you want the benefits of a live in relationship and the privacy and freedom of being single.
You should have no concerns and nothing to hide, but since you do, if I was her I would move out immediatley and say nothing more to you ever.
Your using this woman and she obviously feels it and is following through on her feelings.
I would give you all the privacy need buddy, you would never see me again.....
The truth is I have never checked on any one, not even my sons, I dont' need to, I follow my intuition and I am never wrong, never......
and in this case Mr, I would say she is just trying to see waht all the PRIVACY is about, you are on here aren't you......
Men like you make me sick, you now want other's to support you in your quest for privacy..... If you want privacy do her a favour move out and go and hide somewhere realy privte where no one will read your emails or anything else.
I amsure she has shared many private details and much intimacy with her and of course it means nothing to you, Mr me me me me, take take take......
I hope she wakes up and gets out, and women give you privacy permanentley and allow you to stay single for good.......
I dont care if the perosn I am living with reads my emails or anything else, I liek to be free in my home and my life and theat freedom exsists becasue I have nothign to hide and no secrests from the people I choose to share my life with and home with, It is a great feeling< Icouldt imagine having something to hide or needing to keep anythign off limits or private
All people are different, and you may need to find someone else who shares your view about privacy, I don't.
The truth is I dont; have time to read my own e-mails, but It is a way of getting to know the other person, how they communicate and relate to others, why wouldn't she want to know everything about you.
You obviously don't trust her and want to keep things from her, and if you have agood explanation, it owul dhave to be agood one and you should discuss it and you should both make your decision about the relationship then and there.
I would move out immeditley if I were her, and never speak to you again, and I would further feel you want the bnefits of the union without the sacrifices.....
This post is a really good one because it has raised an issue I never would have considered before, and it will be a point I will be discussing should I decide to share my life with somone and that would include sharing the bed the shower ,friends and families, couches, saucepans, dishes, cultery, body fluids, and e-mails
Its just a game some of you play to controll your partner, you enter the relationship and then set boundaries and create issues.
You have created the trust issue not her, your saying she should trust you and take your word for it, that is not how trust is developed, or earned, that is demanding to be trusted based on nothing.
It is unreasonable and unhealthy for her and she needs to get out, Talk to a professional and see what they say.
My x had trust issues as a rsult of an ungfaithfull wife and he had every right to check my phone and other things if it helped to build to his trust for me, I had nothing to hide and he worked that out,
If you loved her and wre carinbg you would support her in feeling safe and learing to trust you overtime
The funniest thing is you are on here, yoru such a bloody idiot, she has every right to make sure her life with you is secure and that the trust she gives is deserved, she doesnt have trust you because you say so...... My god
YUK YUK YUK YUK | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:44:35 PM | I will make it clear again, I would not read anyones emails or go through anything of theirs........ It is a respect issue, and I am not insecure at all........
Im intelligent and intuitive to know if something is wrong with my relationship, and I would never ask fdor advice or opinions about my partner, again a respect issue, The relationship and the issues of the reltionship are between me and him alone to sort out, that is respecting privacy....... I wouldn t want anyone disussing me on here, or our relationship and I wouldnt insult my partner or his intelligence by going outside the relationship to discuss his behaviour.
However I do have many female friends, who have had reson to suspect their partners and upon snooping confirmed their suspicions and they were never wrong about the guy.
My point is they didn't need to snoop, they needed to trust their intuition, and that is the point, they should not belittle themselves and snoop. I would not lowere myself to snooping, I respect myself and my intutition.
that is all I am saying, this post has been posted by aman in alive in relationship, who is asking advice about privacy from all of us on a dating site, where emails are exchanged.
Not a girlfriend a LIVE IN girlfriend, number one he is inmature and should be talking to her not us, who is disrespecting the privacy of the relationship now
I have had a partner who snooped and Ihad no problem with it, it did get boring after a few years, and I did feel alienated from him because of it, but it was never a big issue for me, He came from a family of snoopers.....
As a result of being a mother to two sons, who I respect and who respect me, part of that is too respect each others privacy, and to allow each other our own personal space, their room was their room, and none of my business and my room was my room and none of their business......
the computor has a split drive they had access to one side and I had access to the other, Icouldnt access their stuff, nor did I want too, and they may or may not have been able to access mine or my room,. I don;t know and I dont care, I have nothing to hide form them or anyone else, If they find things that offend them or that they dont like then they cant say anything can they, cause they shouldnt have been looking and vice versa
I set the rules of privacy in my home becuse we are all different people different personalities and different ages, and we have one snooper in the family and he is my older son, and he being the snooper, alwayss accuses us of snooping, my younger son and I are not snoopers, so work it out, I havent bothered I jsut accept that we are all different.
It isnt an issue its a behavioural trait, if you love someone you love everythign about them,
Your inmature and didnt set down the rules or boundaries of the relationship, before you entered into it
so many of you have no clue what love is and the art of loving, your a taker mister and a winger and are not respecting the privacy and intimacy of the relationship,
End the relationship of course, she read your emails...........
Grow up
do I divorce my sons for reading mine and going through my draws.............. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:57:41 PM | Posts like this remind me if why I am single, Yay,
It reminds of me of how petty and inmature most people are and i wonder how any of you will cope with adult children and ever be able to have a real mature lasting relationship.
Life is so full of issues and real hardships and real conflicts and you people create such stupid things to go on about.
I had a boyfriend who demanded i take my knickers off and let him have them,when I arrived home one evening, he had copies of the phone bill out.
I did laugh and did throw him out immediatley........
what is the go, here, did she read your emails out of curiousty or is she a sphyco, like that, your not clear about it.
any one who has to ask anythign about their relationship to others needs to get out.
I didnt need to consult anyone about taking my knickers for this guy, or going over the phone bill, I jsut followed my instincts and laughed as I was throwing him out the door, and did wonder how I got involved with him in the first place, perahps I should have read his mail firstL>O>L | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 3:41:58 PM | this brings up a similar scenerio...a guy i know second-hand's wife was snooping thru his wallet (the guy said that this was spurred on by the wife's girlfriends, who put it in her head that because he worked late he was cheating). he went out, bought a $700.00 safe, and now locks his wallet up every night. the friend who relayed this story (also male) thinks that his was a groovy solution to his "lack of privacy". i, however, argue that investing in a $700.00 safe (especially when he bought said wife nothing for valentine's day) screams that he IS hiding something.
come on...
a conversation about privacy is one thing, investing in a safe hints at deception.
on another note, a friend of mine put monitoring software on her computer, only to discover that hubby had been having an affair with at least one woman their entire marriage. for her, as a strong christian, it gave her the "proper" biblical go ahead to divorce him. So, in a strong sense, snooping definitely "worked" for her! | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:58:36 PM | | John, it is not that anything was read that shouldn't be. My inbox is an open book, always has been. A retard could get into my mail or really any other account for that matter because my password is the same thing or a derivation of it depending on the website. I would have a problem with someone not asking me to read my e-mail. It is an invasion of privacy and implies that they either have no character or they do not trust me, neither of which I plan to invite into or keep in my life. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:08:42 PM | I think 'They read the email.' isn't necessarily the litmus test you want to use for trustworthiness in any sort of relationship anyone is taking seriously.
Again, specifically addressing email software on a home computer, and speaking from several years of residential tech support that predated some of the education and more thorough experience I have now; generally, an average home computer is set up like my mother's computer.
You take it out of the box, plug it in, and go. There's no separation of user accounts, everything is running off of an administrative-level account which allows all sorts of file access, software installation, settings changes, etc.
There's normally one primary piece of mail software that runs, often times as soon as the machine starts up. If it doesn't run automatically, it runs by clicking an icon located adjacent to the machine's default web browser so a simple inadvertant click starts the mail client instead of the browser.
Of course, all the usernames and passwords are saved, and new mail gets checked every 10-15 minutes automatically.
Even in the case of not using a mail client like Outlook, Outlook Express, or Thunderbird, there's a really good chance the owner's default page when their browser opens is the webmail page for their ISP, also with the usernames and passwords handily stored in 'auto-complete' by default.
My point ... out of the box, by default, you can look at a computer owner's mail without even -wanting- to.
And I'll gleefully point to any number of virus attacks that were successful by the legitimate recipient of some mail clicking on a message that was ... 'attention getting' ... and that they KNEW they shouldn't click on, but did anyway.
Can you really blame somebody, if the inbox is practically sitting there open, if they're captivated to click on something?
That's not the behavior I've witnessed nor expect from any of the users I've supported.
What I'm saying is, before you go making it this terrible violation of trust, consider what boundaries, if any, have been crossed.
Now, if the original question is: How serious is it that somebody doesn't respect my boundaries and do I have grounds to dump them? Sure.
But don't use email and shared computers as the test. In fact, if one was actually serious about succeeding in the relationship, this might be chalked up into the 'Fights I don't need to have' category.
-John
PS ... On an unrelated note in regard to Tigerlily1's failed deknickering ...
In defense of the boyfriend, I can't tell you how many times I get all excited reading my electric company statement and then demand the next woman that walks through the door immediately remove her undergarments.
It might have just been a really GOOD bill. He didn't have Barry White playing in the background, did he? | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:15:02 PM | ^ I see your point. It would still be a problem for me though, 'cause my system isn't set up like that.
The only thing that logs in automatically is my AIM. MSN and e-mails don't have saved passwords. They'd have to do some snooping to get it. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:15:30 PM | | it is wrong to read someone elses emails. I would not make a big deal if you left it up and exposed where someone can easily read but otherwise she has no business digging into your email. We all need our privacy. I have many private conversations online that noone needs to read. no i do not do online sex or any of that crap but everyone needs their own space and privacy. its all about respect | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:25:08 PM | Yes actually I can sit at a computer and not click on and read an e-mail. I have an overly well developed sense of curiosity and yet I can maintain that tenuous control that allows me to refrain from clicking on that mouse. If the fact that it is inappropriate to read someone's personal mail without permission would not be enough to stop me from reading it, the fact that the other person would know I have accessed the mail would.
I have been working at home for 13 years. I have three kids and whether they are on my desktop on the DSL, going through Internet Explorer, or working from the laptop that requires accessing the Internet through AOL, they do not read my mail because it is ignorant. I have never used Outlook nor do I know anyone that actually uses that function. Everyone I know uses DSL and Internet Explorer or had software installed from AOL or Juno, or whatever. And I am exactly the type of computer user that you are talking about because I want to know just enough to get my work done and that is it.
My children, who can be little snots, would never read my mail because it is ignorant and they would not want someone reading their mail, so they would not do it to me. Anyone that would read my mail I would consider equally ignorant because my private mail is my private mail, and I will talk to a fence post about anything so I am not a private person.
It is right and wrong. I would not be disrespectful to a person in that way even if it was driving me totally crazy. It is their choice whether they want me up in their business so I would ask them if it bothered me that much. It is a matter of trust. Unless you are worried about what I am talking about in an e-mail, why would you access it? And this OP was asking about someone that had not just inadvertently clicked on an e-mail, it said that the individual was blatantly reading the other person's mail.
Now there is also in addition to this another reason that I don't want someone reading mail unless they have my permission. I talk to people about other people. If I am having a problem with someone, I will describe what happened to make sure that the way I am thinking is reasonable and I also sometimes vent when someone is irritating the crap out of me but it is something that is not worth bringing up. I should be able to have conversations with my friends without wondering whether someone was going to be reading that personal correspondence making me censor what I want to say. It is an invasion of my ability to be me. Life's too short to have to edit everything and removing appropriate boundaries requires that. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:46:54 PM | | Guess you gotta go with your gut instincts on this stuff and that "feeling " ya get when someone could be cheating or something...spying is usually a last resort cause if your wrong...you've viloated the trust... | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:48:43 PM | jadegreen:
...spying is usually a last resort cause if your wrong...you've viloated the trust...
I think the violation applies regardless of if you found what you were looking for and/or if your suspicions have merit.
I think focusing on the email being read still buries the lead.
If indeed the email thing is a trust mountain rather than a trust mole-hill (unlikely), the more pressing issue is: Why did the unauthorized reader, of supposedly sound enough judgment to be a trustworthy roommate in all other cases, feel it was a reasonable and risk-appropriate to make a coordinated, planned move to covertly gather intelligence on the computer owner?
Don't misread me, I'm not asking 'Hey, why'd the reader go crazy?' ... exactly the opposite, actually.
What I'm saying is: If the owner trusts the roommate's judgment in all other cohabitation fronts, then why isn't there some self-evaluation going on with the owner? How have things progressed to the point that extreme, underhanded maneuvers have become the most reasonable remaining option? Why is this otherwise reasonable person taking the risk that Jadegreen mentioned above? Were there interactions that were missed or discounted or ignored that were earlier, more moderate means of addressing whatever issue precipitated cracking the mailbox?
That seems at least marginally more important than: My feelings are hurt because my email got read.
-John | |
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