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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 11/19/2008 11:21:22 AM | | Re: Hurtpartner's reply. Once a cheat always a cheat. I was with a man for over 13years. When I met him he was sober, after 3yrs he started drinking and doing drugs, I stayed with him even though I knew that he had probably had encounters with other women, he got sober for 3yr and I found out that he had been "Flirting" (his words) due to the fact that a woman *69 his call from our home and when I answered she assumed I was his mother. The trust was broken a long time ago. When we got back together again because he maintained his sobrity for several years I noticed certain things that didn't add up, and yes I went on line. Not only did I find out he was communicating with other women (which he tells everyone how honest he is and how much he loves me and he would never betray me by doing something so stupid as to e-mail or flirt with other women since he has been sober) on craigslist, he was buying panties, haveing men perform some kind of prostrate stimulation on him as well as going on to horrible x rated dating sites. I didn't snoop because everything was going okay, but you must listen to your gut, and if 2 and 2 aren't adding up to 4, you do what you have to. This guy is good looking, smooth taling, has an explaination for everything and takes no responsibility for any of his actions. So, of course it is my fault for snooping, not his fault for being dishonest, and disgusting. I don't want to catch anything just because I felt I shouldn't snoop, if my gut told me he was telling the truth, I would never have done what I did. And PS, I never did it before him and never did it after him. So it depends upon the situation and partner. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 11/19/2008 11:32:23 AM | How would I handle it??? They'd be dumped on the spot and sent packing.
Save the 'let's say you've been involved with them...' spiel like it somehow 'justifies' the behaviour, it doesn't.
I have a zero tolerance policy for women who pry, it's not because I have anything to hide and I dont fool around but as soon as that line is crossed, it's bye bye time.
Plain and simple.
I despise prying women as much as I do Colplay
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 11/19/2008 2:15:24 PM |
Let's say you've been involved with someone for several months in a live-in relationship or more when one day you find out out that your partner has been reading your personal email without your knowledge.
Couldn't happen; I'd know about it, because I don't mind having my e-mail read. Friends, family, lovers, they're all welcome to look if they're curious. I don't expect others to feel the same way; everyone has different limits on this kind of thing, and I wouldn't look at anyone else's without explicit permission. But if they want to read mine, that's fine.
So I'd probably just ask if I got anything good that day. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 11/19/2008 4:41:37 PM | How serious an offense, you ask?
I say serious enough for punishment to be one of the following:
-death by hanging
-listen to elevator music for the rest of your life
-buried to your neck in the desert
-tied to a railroad track
-work in a daycare for the rest of your life
-banned from EVER posting or reading the POF forums
-forced to watch ALL the Jerry Springer reruns
-guillotine
Uhmmmm...I could go on and on but I think you have an idea how I feel about it.
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Siegra
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Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 330 | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 11/19/2008 6:11:28 PM | | Dumped!! No explaination needed. They've over stepped the mark. Ask if in doubt, if that doesn't satisfy, then you need assess your position regarding the relationship, if you don't trust them. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 11/19/2008 7:07:48 PM | Two ways to look at it, both very valid.
One : What one has in their personal email is not for others eyes.
Two: What one has in their personal email should not be so terrible for one's partner to find, that it would devastate anything in any way.
If you have the inkling to gander at your partner's email, you should reconsider how much you trust them. If you have reasonably doubt to distrust them, confront them, if your mind is made up and you don't care of the outcome, go for it, look at their personal emails. At least you'll gain some closure with any situation that was occurring. Sometimes it's best to let things be, other times it's best to aggravate and catalyze. | |
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| Reading your partner's emails...how serious an offence?
Posted: 11/19/2008 7:59:59 PM | .
She can read my e-mail anytime she wishes. That is certainly not a problem for me. Rather, I would think that the more she knows about me the better it is.
Fact is, I won’t be doing anything in e-mail, or anyplace else for that matter, that I would not feel comfortable doing if she were next to me and holding my hand.
So, when she is here, she can use any one of the three computers that are on line and read anything on them she wishes on them. She is welcome to anything here, as a matter of fact.
If I didn’t feel that way, she wouldn’t be with me. I don’t call that a “trust” thing, or anything like that. If you are in a good, close relationship, there should be complete openness between the partners. Simply put, if that complete openness is not there -- both ways -- it is not yet a good relationship. Therefore, I will do my part by being completely open about everything.
Actually, I believe that pertains to everything we do. In a close relationship, omission is just as big of a lie as any other type of deception. We shouldn’t hide anything from the one we love. And we certainly should not be involved in any type relationships the one we love would not approve of -- not if we have any respect for them, anyway. So, yeah, e-mail should also be open.
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