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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/13/2009 9:58:09 AM | | You are half black, and he is going out with you? Does he have any problem dating you? Does he have any problem you two being in public? If the answer is yes, he's a racist, if the answer is no, well, he's still a racist, because he is still very narrow minded about other cultures that he does not understand. Not only that, he probably is narrow minded about ideas that are different that what his family finds to be the way. The fact that he actually verbalizes some of his beliefs is actually good. He's straight with what his beliefs are instead of pretending to love everyone and then going, "well, YOU people, will be happier having your own counter." That's the true racist. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/13/2009 10:48:17 AM | Racism should NEVER be tolerated.
Fear! I believe that's the main cause of Racism.
Fear of tolerance, fear of learning something new & of new places, people & things, fear having to learn to live amongst those who are different, etc.
I'm absolutely amazed that in this day & age, and from the horrific lessons from the world's past mistakes, that there are still those few select narrow-minded people who believe that colour, culture & religion (or lack thereof) is better/worse! | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/13/2009 5:06:19 PM |
Now I dont know what he was talking about because I think I went spontaneously deaf or something...
ON the contrary.. I am quite sure your ears *perked* hearing his racist slathering.. but somehow you're searching for a way to excuse/overlook it...
There is not room for selective hearing here... He spoke loud and clear...
I'm so confused...
what part of "sand n*gger" are you confused about?
(I am half black BTW) How does he justify being with me?
um IM wonderin...How do YOU justify being with that piece o shyt?
So how could he use language like that and not have a problem with blacks?
Easily... You will find the most vitriolic racist trash are also pathologically hypocrits
Cases in point:
late 90's in NY...Racist white cop Justin Volpe and three other police officers savagely beat a unarmed Black man, Abner Louima ,in a police cruiser, and then back at the station house Volpe spewed racist epithets, then viciously sodomized Louima with a broken broom handle while another cop held him ...During this heinous atrocity, Louima suffered horrific internal tearing of his colon and other critical internal injuries etc...
and guess what?
Volpe had a BLACK girlfriend..
* Of course she was paraded around during Volpes trial as if her blackness negated him from being a savage racist pig..
Then we have that strom kkk thrumond( rot in peace**) who spewed white supremist vitriol to the inbred masses warning about the "Black menace" chanting " segregation now.... segregation forever" blah blah ....while fathering two children from his Black housekeeper..Of course he paid her "hush" money ...
I mean after all what would the klan think?
Founding slaver err "father" Tommie Jefferson, who never met a Black person he did not want enslaved, also had a Black gf/slave.. Sally Hemmings..
How many times have you heard people say racist ** and attempt to justify by falling back on that mantra "oh I'm no racist... I have Black friends"...... um ok***
Can we even be friends?
*blinks* .....why the f*k would you want to?! ....
If you think he is not so bad, why not instead just date a skinhead?... at least they are HONEST about it
ugh... | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/14/2009 9:35:36 AM | No, there's no way he can talk like that and not be a racist ass. And I don't know why you would even want him as a friend!! You are bi-racial, how can you even know what he really thinks of YOU?
Why don't you ask him what he thinks of you? Just get right in his face, and ask him. Tell him that with all the things that he says about other races, it really makes you wonder what his TRUE thoughts are about you. That when he talks about black women, he's talking about YOUR relatives, and half of your heritage, and that is hurtful to you.
If that doesn't give him a wakeup call, then he's not going to ever wake up. And since it sounds like he's had these attitudes ingrained in him since childhood, I would not hold my breath. I would write him off completely. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/15/2009 9:45:56 AM | | good question...im not a racist by any means i think it's all what you make of it...a word has no power unless you give it. i don't care if someone is blue if i like them thats all that matters...like if one of your friends tells you f**k you and you don't get pissed off about it you gave that no power...so.. i guess it's up to you | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/15/2009 2:39:09 PM | Of course he's mad, cause you just caught onto a big disgusting secret he's been hiding.....he is a racist.
I would drop him like a hot potato but that's just me. The question you need to ask yourself is "Do you really want someone in your life being a friend or romantic partner who has those vile (your word not mine - but I happen to agree) thoughts rolling around in their head?".
By posting this question it seems you've already asked yourself this....and you already know the answer....NO! | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/15/2009 4:20:14 PM | it is interesting to read your initial post, op...it seems so clear that he's a racist and unthinking and bigoted at best.... and then i read your "ex's" posts back to you within this thread... posts which no-one has commented on yet, including yourself... (see msg's 114 and 118)
he answers your questions from his point of view, himself, but doesn't say anything about raising a fist to you, in fact, he seems to think you are still living together and going to be married soon...
how much of this is truth?
from reading both your posts, i'd say you both need to get some serious counseling together before continuing on to marriage...
no, racism is never okay... is he really a racist, or did you just embellish the truth? are you still together really? if so and you believe he is a racist, then why?
what is the truth? | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/15/2009 7:14:25 PM | Hmmmm too many posts to read so sorry if I missed something.
I have no tolerance for racism.
Basically he really believes east indians are bad at business, asians are bad drivers, black women are loud etc etc etc.)
East Indians are some of the hardest workers I have seen. I've been to Asia several times and believe me they know how to drive. Check out this short clip. http://www.youtube. c o m /watch?v=xzx92rNVjzs
To even put all of a certain ethnicity in one negative group shows low intelligence.
Now I have to go back and see what english lass is talking about. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/16/2009 5:15:10 AM | I can't stand racist remakes like that and I think you should just leave that guy. He doesn't sound to me to be one of those people just kissing around because you gave some serious examples of ignorance there. That's what it is it's all ignorance.
If you really want to throw some blame and be realistically, while people are biggest killers on the planet without any question whatsoever. People think blacks are the biggest crime people are people who watch too much tv and believe the tv is real when it's a fairyland and fiction. The tv seems to love portraying black people are bad.
The biggest problem we have in America is that instead of asking why or how, all we end up with is one finger pointing at the other one. In the end, that solves nothing. They warehouse people. They say, this person is bad and it must be because they listen to this music, so put them in jail for years, that will fix the problem. Then they get out worse then when they went in, end up back in the system again.
We got all our prisons 2-4x over maximum. Do you think this is working?
Racism is ignorance. You want an example of sick, evil, and demented? Go learn your history. Look up the Bush administration, Vietnam, the DuPont Company corruption, the Rockefeller's making big money off war and supplied money to Hitler and helping Hitler just like the Bush family did, watch the interview with survivors of Hiroshima. That's only recent history we are dealing with now. You will have tears streaming down. But then again, ignorance is bliss and it's easier just to be like most everyone else and keep spewing whatever. Compassion and understanding...
That's the big problem in America. Too many people just throwing around blame and not taking responsibility. The politicians are laughing it up making the big bux invested in these corporations and war plants like Lockheed and Raytheon. They let the poor just stay helpless with inadequate health care...duh what do you think is going to happen? People are put into survival mode! Now we even have the middle class technically poor because most are in dept even though they look rich. It's saddening and heartbreaking. When someone is down on the ground, instead of pointing your finger and calling names or laughing, be they homeless, be they white, black, Asian, whatever, lend a hand, reach your arm out! Have a heart! Go volunteer down at the shelter or the hospital. Stop throwing blame around. We are all products of society and if we are down, their is a good chance that society had something to do with it.
If you see a black person upset about racism, well don't you think they should be? Imagine how that must feel to have to deal with regularly, to be called names, treated like dirt, have people look at you badly when tehy don't even know you personally but because they watch too much tv and the tv tells them that blacks are violent people who like "bling" and are regulars on the "cops" show. Stop watching that garbage, maybe you should turn on the food channel. They've had some good shows on souther cooking and southern hospitality but I guess mtv doesn't think that will make good ratings. Very sad. We are in 2009 now, it's time for ignorance to be over with completely. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 1/16/2009 5:23:33 AM | Here are my opinions on this... I could probably be freinds in a limited capacity but as far as forming a mutual enhancing relationship probably not!
I know that history has attributed to our prejudicial attitudes and everyone comes to the table with different resources. However forming a partnership involves sharing your partner with family and freinds. I really don't want my kids to hear that jargon even if they are old enough to think for themselves.
The other huge issue is this: prejudice comes from a BLACK AND WHITE MIND.
Someone who wants to be all they can be, grow and give back to society needs to have patience and tolerance and an open mind. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 9/22/2009 5:43:39 PM | Javan2
I'm guessing you realize that Archibald Delaney immigrated to Canada from the UK. He worked in Toronto and then traveled north and settled for a while in Temagami where the First Nations people taught him how to survive in the wilderness. They gave him the name Grey Owl. He passed himself off as a native person and traveled the world speaking about conservation. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:00:33 AM | the dude sounds very angry and bitter about many things... and as those people do they need to place the blame with something else: government, economy, other people, races, whatever. Too many people never take the responsiblity for themselves, if they did, they could address issues quickly and move on.
His problem isnt racism, its with something much more deep rooted. This wont get any better until he faces up and find some sort of peace and happiness. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:56:25 AM | As the 2nd posts said, a lot of white people use racial slurs and stereotypes in their world. If you come into their world, they think you are becoming apart of their world and you should be cool what what they say and how they think and what they do.
And if you are black or mixed or 'colored' then you are not to call them on it because then you are being overly sensitive. You are crying victim. You are being hypocritical since blacks whine all the dam time about white folks. So why can't whites complain about blacks, darkies, brownies and everyone else? They have problems too. And these problems (in their mind) are caused by darkies in much the same way that a darkies' problem is caused by whites.
And maybe they have a point. Not about complaining about the darkies and calling them racial slurs, but that if you come into their world then I guess you gotta (to paraphrase a saying) let the Romans do whatever it is they do. If this is their world and you aren't comfortable with it, then leave their world (or his world and his friends). It's nice to educate and enlighten people when you can but everybody ain't up for it. And you cant force it. So if you aren't comfortable with it, then leave.
Yes, he may say something like 'why you being so sensitive? You half white for heaven's sake - you should know our pain!' - but you are also half black and he shouldn't cause that side of you pain either. You need a man that's going to be sensitive to you and both sides of your family background - black and white. They are out here. They are white - if that's what you like and prefer.
As for what I would do - just what I said. I'd tell them why I was leaving - not because I owed it to them but because I want them to know, and I would cease contact and conversation with them. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 9/23/2009 11:09:41 AM | You have a lot of information about how your friend thinks, sees the world, would interact with others, and would educate any children you might have. It is unlikely you will see him change.
So, are you ready to live out his worldview as your own and raise any possible children that way? | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 9/23/2009 11:51:23 PM | | He sounds really ignorant. I'm thinkling probably peeps he hangs with and his family are quite likely ignorant as well-with them it is ok for him to talk like that, otherwise he wouldn't bother. Is this a project you are comfortable taking on? | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:25:26 PM |
There were places where blacks could get education & training in the late 1800. Wayward Seminary was one along with tuskegee institute where George Washington Carver taught. I am sure he did have a degree in agriculture and/or botany
Cheyney State College established in 1837, Cheyney was established, in 1837, by the Quakers in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania as an educational entity for the higher educational needs of the black population.
Lincoln University of Pennsylvania is the 2nd oldest Historical Black Colleges and Universities. Founded in 1854
Keep in mind most these collages were black & the other ones would not except them. And of course not very many of them compared to white collages. Its good to know at least they had some where to go during these time periods.
The life of George Carver was indeed very interesting.
While the actual history of those places was interesting to learn, I believe that you misread my quote. A little bit later it says very clearly that...
My generation is the first generation of blacks in America to freely be able to go to school where ever they were smart enough and wealthy enough to go. We are the first to be able to go to any college.
Without a doubt there were educated black people, but they were few and they were only able to go to a small selection of schools. What I was saying was that my generation is the FIRST generation of black people to go to school Where ever they were smart enough and wealthy enough to go. To be able to go to ANY school. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 9/24/2009 3:06:34 PM | The guy is a racist ***hole, and if this hasn't effected you directly yet, chances are it will sooner or later.
The racist mindset operates like this: when a white man steals, the racist thinks, "that guy is a thief." When a black man steals, the racist thinks, "See? That prvoes they're ALL theives." It is a mindset that doesn't recognize people as having particular motives. Any negative thing you do is not gonna be seen by him as a result of X, Y, or Z. He's gonna see it as a racial characteristic finally rearing its ugly head.
I'd move on. | |
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| a racist slur from someone your dating....what do you do?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:27:57 PM | You told him you dont like him speaking that way, then he uses your race in a derogotory manner...take racism out of the equation, and this is bad enough-he disrespected you after you told him you are not comfortable with him using racial slurs....and goes even further by using your race in a derogotory manner!
On top of that, yes, I feel comments like that are racist. Its one thing to joke endearingly among friends when they display a stereotypical 'racial' behaviour, and have fun with that...and another thing completely to brush a whole group or race with a bad brush. | |
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