| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/5/2008 8:15:54 AM | Just tell him. If he gets scared and runs, then he wouldn't try that anyway and you have lost nothing. Butttt if you care more for the guy than the sex, listen for cues, try something wild or just stare up at the sky and pop the question, "You want to know what I have always wanted to try".
I guarantee you he will say "Tell me" | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/5/2008 9:26:41 AM | ^^^^
LOL PostPunk!
You just say "Look Sparky, the cuffs or the whip, you get to choose."
Positive reinforcement has never failed for me...
When he is doing what you like SAY, "That's it... Just like that!"
If you want a bit more SAY, "More! Harder! Faster! Etc.."
...Then SAY, "That's it... Just like that!" when he is doing what you like.
If still not quite on the right track, inch him in... "a little more... oOOOooohhhh a little more..... Almost got it.... YES!!! THERE!!!! THERE!!!!!"
And, then the all important, "You do that so well! You make my ****** feel so good!"
"I love it when you do it like that!"
Avoid negative talk, like... "No, not working for me...What are you doing???....No not there... What, do you need a map!?"
Not sexy...
Still not there? Maybe a tour of the local hot spots will do the trick!
Have a hands-on get to know your anatomy share day. Turn on the lights and talk about what THIS part likes and what THAT part likes. Include telling him about that "thing" he does (positive reinforcement) that makes you crazy. Touch yourself in the way you want him to touch you... Have him do the same.
You'll be lucky if you make it to the next body part! | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:44:48 AM | | Just tell them, if they can't take it then you can discuss the problem. If you don't then you'll only resent them and when you break up it'll be among the first things you throw in their face. | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:51:02 AM | ^^^^Please Note:
Be aware of making a lot of noise when you just aren't feeling it...
That is reinforcing all the wrong things!
Screaming like a porn star won't improve your sex life unless you aren't actually acting --or that is part of your role-play, of course.
Gee, ya think those ladies might be faking it a bit?
Pleasurable sounds for pleasure's sake is the only way to honestly get what you want...
Keep faking it, you will never be able convince him you need something completely different to "get there." | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/19/2008 12:04:22 PM | Hmmm...you know, I was thinking the other day about what it would be like if women screamed like a man in pain would during sex. You know, instead of "Oooo....aaaaa...oooo..." it was more like "Arghhhh ! GrrrrrOOOOOOWWWWWW....*in a husky , kinda demonic voice*...yeah, that's it big boy !!!! Argghhh !"
See, now I bet that wouldn't be a turn on. And sometimes I wonder if strippers swing their clothing around and gyrate to music while getting dressed in the morning. Seems appropriate somehow.
Anyway, okay, the question at hand. Well, don't just do it, that's for sure. I mean, if you think it would be great idea to surprise your lover with a live chicken and a jar of Nutella, that's okay I guess but don't whip this stuff out mid-coitus. It's better to take a subtler approach in my opinion. You know , something like "Hey...how do you feel about breakfast items ? Got a sweet tooth ?" | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:05:43 PM | Streaming porn with digitally-added arrows labelled "good" or "right." That would be a good message.
Is that the modern version of this? -
"...twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as... "
edit to add:
extra points to anyone who recognizes the quote WITHOUT Googling it | |
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a1111
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Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 57 | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:27:46 AM | If you can't tell him or her what you like in the bed perhaps you shouldn't be having sex yet.
Thank goodness comunications has meant I have enjoyed somne great sex good friends and I do believe what I was looking for in life.
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:19:44 AM | ^^^Post-Its! YEEEESS... That's it!
It could be a a new hybrid between Twister and Mad Libs
Picture This:
SPIN!
Right (a part of the body) + (a color) Post-It!
SPIN!
Left (location) + (noun) upside-down Post-It! SPIN!
(exclamation)!(exclamation)!(exclamation)!
That sounds like fun!
Better brush up on my adjectives... | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:05:17 AM | As many have stated just talk to him, most men I would think would want to satisfy their women! far to often many jump into the bed without ever really discussing anything, everyone is different with what turns them on! The best way to turn your partner into a good lover is rather then waiting for them to discover, Tell them what you like and how you like it, and then work with them during by letting them know what feels good to you! If you both are determine to know how to turn each other on and willing to learn what it takes, park the egos, you can reach satisfaction so much easier The skill of a good lover is paying attention without restriction! Foreplay and pillow talk will easily teach both the do's and don'ts and what it takes to get to paradise... I know what I like but have no idea what she likes beyond the basics..from there is where foreplay and pillow talking solves the mysteries and completes the satisfaction for both! prior during and after it's called Communication! | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/23/2008 11:49:18 AM | A couple of thoughts on all this.
Telling him what you want is one thing, but nowhere did I see anyone think of "asking" the other person what he wants...
One of the reasons men have issues with a woman with too many past lovers is that she may not enjoy being with you as much as she did a past lover, even if what you do is exactly the same as what that other guy did. Body parts and rythym being different and all. Granted, she may enjoy it more, but we're not 'worried' about that.
If a guy is a bit or a lot jealous, hearing that you loved it when some other guy did this or that may not be what we want to think about. It may even put an end to the fun for the night.
What one person enjoys, may be a total turnoff for the other person. | |
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| Best Way to tell a new lover what you like in bed.
Posted: 3/23/2008 8:43:06 PM |
Shouldn't have to tell a good lover will ask, what do you like. Ones response to certain stimuli is self explanatory. Let's not make this harder than it is people communicate, communicate , communicate .
I agree, but I don't put it on the other person to ask me. I personally ask what my partner wants, and it's a really good way to be forward but not seem self absorbed. If you get them talking about their likes it is allot easier to work in yours. Often you will find allot of common interests, and at least you can come to understand where a compromise may be if your tastes diverge. | |
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