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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:36:17 PM | Quite frankly, internet dating does not level the playing field for me at all. On here, if you're not good looking enough or don't meet certain stringent criteria, then you're rejected without a chance. I know I'm not that great looking, so sending messages here isn't exactly playing to my strengths.
However, in person, I am confident, affable, funny, intelligent, and have a great speaking voice. Women who might have deleted my e-mail without a second thought on here tend to stick around when they see this interesting fellow talking with them. And, every once in a while, they even become attracted.
So no, I don't think it levels the playing field at all. It just requires different traits. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 5/15/2008 9:55:19 PM | | no, it's not a level playing field, I try dating sites because I cant always go out (and most of the time I dont want to, hehe) tho im trying to get out more. But the real world and dating sites are very very different. Im not really good looking and a geek, but my big problem is when girls see the word "wheelchiar" in my profile, they most likely virtually walk away without a second thought.
And people that use fake profiles are just sad. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:00:06 PM | The Original Post is a bit confusing, because the two issues - whether Internet dating levels the playing field, and the matter of fakery on profiles - are separate.
To the first issue: I believe Internet dating does NOT level the playing field for men (from geeks to average to exceptional), but it DOES much more than "level" the playing field for women (from ugly to average to exceptional) - it actually skews it in our favour.
I've been on here a long time, and seriously, the vast majority of men who contact me are WAY too good for me, and should by all rights be aiming much higher. Which leads me to believe the women at about their level or even below (but above me) are rejecting these guys for no logical reason. The illogical reason would be that those women have experienced the same thing I've experienced, but instead of being surprised and amused and enjoying the benefit, have morphed it into some sort of belief that they DESERVE even better. Shrug.
The profile fakery issue is just sad and pathetic. I can't think of anything else to say about it. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:13:10 PM | My worst POF experience was someone whom based on profile, interests conversations and pictures peeked my interest so I agreed to meet for a cup of coffee at the local Caribou Coffee.
Sitting there waiting this guy walks up and says "well" I just looked at him dumbfounded and said 'well what, do I know you?' he stated it was time to find out if I am shallow.
his profile:
6'3"
black hair
average built
good looking but not too over the top pretty boy
standing in front of me
5'5" (at most - he was at minimum 5 inches shorter then me)
more then a little overweight
bald
So in an attempt to find out why he would mislead it got into a discussion on being accepted as a person and not an image and in his words "making it level" - I did ask if anything in the profile was real - he said no it was all made up
I left never spoke with him again - because in my opinion I would rather be deemed as shallow in his eyes then a liar in the eyes of all that read my profile and see my picture
Was my action justified? to most no - if you take it off of just the physical description and dont count into the fact that this man lied with his fake profile. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 5/15/2008 10:17:32 PM |
Was my action justified? to most no
I'm not sure who would say that your action wasn't justified. This guy was not testing to find out if you were shallow, but I'm sure he believes he was. He was being a jerk, plain and simple. I'm glad you left and I can only hope this guy learned something that day, but I'm sure he went home whining about that shallow little b---- that had the audacity to call him on his stupidity. | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:37:16 AM | PoF in itself in my opinion, is full of women getting the opportunity to judge men a LOT harder than if they were in person.
In person, a woman doesn't have the chance to basically read an essay you wrote, find out your interests or dislikes or anything like that without actually putting some time and effort into talking to you..
Here, the "hot" ones just read the stuff you wrote, think, "Eh. I'm hott, and he's average looking. He's even smart, but I don't give a shit. He's not that 10/10 hunk of meat badboy that I'm oh so attracted to but don't realize." *click*
As far as internet dating in general ..... I've met a lot of girlfriends off of the internet. Some lasted, some didn't. It's just more dangerous, therefore actually meeting up tends to be less common.
A couple of weeks ago I met a girl off of my-space at the Florida Mall. The Florida Mall -- A huge immensely crowded mall , and this girl brought two of her huge "bodyguard" girlfriends with her to meet me! Not to mention she made multiple threats on my life(even if she was joking), and stated something about how she'd had stalker situations before. I didn't even get her number .... Okay maybe not the perfect example because she was probably messed up inside but you can get the gist of it -- If she hadn't had a bad experience with meeting off the internet before she probably wouldn't have felt the need to try and intimidate me.
What's a guy gonna do? LoL | |
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| does internet dating make it a level playing field for geeks or ugly women/men?
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:03:01 AM | internet dating levels the playing field in that it allows geeks and non-beautiful sparkly people to meet each other easily. Finding someone who is just as much into is awesome.
Lying about who you are and how you look, yeah not so awesome. I've been on more than a few dates where the picture was 5+ years old and 3-5 dress sizes different. Misleading expectations. Any relationship longer than dinner or a one night stand is built on trust and starting things out in a shaky deceitful manner is really really bad.
Also, why do ladies feel this need to lie about their age? 30 years old is beautiful the first time around its all the 50+ yo women who say their 30 that make 30 look bad. | |
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