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| | Why are guys afraid to ask women out?Page 11 of 16 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16) | | How come it's okay for women to whine and complain about how unfair their life is, but not okay for men? | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:21:20 AM |
How come it's okay for women to whine and complain about how unfair their life is, but not okay for men?
Come on now Weinerschnitzel, you just used that line *minutes* ago in the 'Game' thread. Anaglyph has the right idea, you need to mix it up! | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 9/28/2009 2:32:03 PM | Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
why are women afraid to ask guys out?
(probibly cuz they think they'll have to pick up the tab)
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 9/28/2009 2:39:00 PM | As a woman i can tell you a secret...
We are the ones who are waiting to be asked and if you are our type we will be happy to go, and most of the time, us saying no is just so we don't waste your time with leading you on i mean which would you prefer the woman who tells you up front no i dont think you are my type or the one who feels to guilty to do that and says yes then after a few dates never returns your call? | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 9/28/2009 5:15:13 PM | | Hey guys, while you are sitting there afraid to ask a woman out - did you ever think that there are women here waiting to be emailed? | |
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EST74
| | Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 260 | |
| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/1/2009 11:28:07 AM | | Wow really? Ok I know it sounds ironic but it's true; accepting rejection is apart of life. You won't get every job you apply for and you won't get a date with every woman you find attractive. Just be confident in yourself and if she says no just remember that as men the odds are always in our favor, there are more women in this country and in the world than there are men. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:45:07 AM | | The hardest part about asking a woman out on a date is knowing when to ask her out, like getting her comfortable around you first before she will let you take her out on a first date, because you don't want to ask too soon or too late. | |
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Jessis
| | Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 263 | |
| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:32:07 PM | I have had this fear for a long time, I guess we get in our heads that we arn't on their level, or we are "sub" their standards.
And it sucks, especially when people have treated you like garbage in your past.
But give it time, do something for a few months that makes u feel really confident, and with that, if you can get to the point where when you talk to women, you don't feel inferior, or superior, but just not intimidated
it may help you alot, just don't give up, women and men are meant to be together, you arn't sub their standards,
alot of people are going to tell you women are from venus and men are from mars, well to a point thats true.
But really, mostly it is not, we are both the same, but with some changes.
Just look at a woman, as you would your best friends from elementary school back in the day, there was no question, u just all had fun together.
if they don't like that, then your probably barking up the wrong social tree, dont look for women who party or drink, they are often far to self superior, and they REALLY radiate that immage off of themselves.
Just look for someone you feel comfortable around, and get your feet wet, it's 1 step at a time, and you will reach the top sooner or later right? | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:33:44 AM | | Because us guys have to do a lot more than just asking a girl out on a date, we have to make the first move or first approach, start the first conversation and all the other getting-to-know eachother conversations down the road, and we have to hold the conversation or keeping it going and prevent the awkward silences or pauses, preventing it from becoming one-sided, overall, we have to make all the moves, not just the first move, in order to gain just a friendship from a girl, the first date and all the other dates, and initiating the relationship. Also knowing when to ask a girl out is harder than actually doing it, because you don't want to ask out too soon or too late. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/9/2009 1:21:43 PM | | MaeWestVirginia has it right. We are the one's waiting. Just ask and if you're not our type, we'll say no. It's not personal, because we have qualities we are looking for too. Don't be discouraged. Get to know the girl you dig for a couple of days or weeks, then ask her out. This way, you have some groundwork and something to talk about on the date. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/9/2009 2:19:27 PM | Get used to the word No.
It is not a dirty word, it is not personal, it is just not a yes.
This goes for all facets of life, not just dating.
Look forward to the next yes. you can't get a yes with asking...
I ask, if they say no, I have even asked why... with the explicit understanding that this will help with the next person (this depends on how well I know them, etc...). | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:54:00 AM | My guess is that if a man is afraid to ask a woman out on a date, it is most likely because he is nervous about the possibility of rejection. The good thing is that if most women do not want to go out on a date, they will usually make up a reason why. So, most women have a heart and will not be rough with your heart. Sure, there are always going to be a few that are hurtful, but they are the minority and the type most of us wouldn't want to date anyway. Right?
The best advice I can give to hopefully make the process easier is to ask them out with intentions of being friends with a possiblity of romance. The key is viewing them as a friend which will allow you to feel comfortable to be yourself. If you didn't have a romantic interest, then most men could probably talk to just about anyone, without feeling anxious.
Another thing that is helpful to remember is that they are just people, too. Just like you and I but female. Though there are difference for sure, they still are only human with imperfections, problems and insecurities like anyone else.
Best wishes... | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:58:33 AM | I think this goes beyond just the "fear or rejection", there could be hundreds of irrational fears some men could experience. Just like some women can go through life fearing men based on irrational/unfounded reasons, so can men. Although this type of behaviour/psychological disorder seems a lot less likely in men, they still do exist as they can definitely affect either gender.
Another factor to consider is that positive body language can easily be misinterpreted and the risk involved in reading those signs incorrectly could be more than some men are willing to wager on. These men might not want to approach women based on what they believe to be a lack of consent. Many women have made it clear that they do not feel comfortable being approached by men(although, an irrational fear, in my opinion) and that in all situations no means no. Men who wish to abide by those rules or who try to, at the very least, be sensitive to those fears will not try to escalate conversation to women who might not want to be approached in the first place.
These social phenomenons are part of the reasons why I believe it is important for women to show their interest, not by throwing ambiguous signals, but by initiating and being assertive themselves. In an world of equality, there needs to be an equal amount of enthusiasm and willingness to date from both genders.
There is definitely a trend in our society/culture, which is also perpetuated by the media, that tends demonize male sexuality, it affects how both women and men think and behave. These results are just a small part of this trend. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:58:39 PM | | I'm not afraid of asking women out. I simply know what their answer is going to be and don't even bother asking. It saves both of us wasting our time. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:18:22 AM | ^Ha ha....well , is that pessimism or pragmatism ? Definitely self-defeating.
Hey , we all understand what you're saying it's just that sooner or later you're going to have to bite the bullet. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:23:36 AM | Wow lately all the girls that i find cute interesting anf funny are taken ! Seriously wtf !
Everytime i am trying to get a girls number, through out the conversation i find out they have a bf. So sick of it lol | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:44:35 AM | | what's the worst that can happen...she says no,whoopie doo.get out there and tryand keep trying til someone says yes.no one likes rejection,but the truth is everyone gets rejected more than accepted. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:58:57 PM | Worst that can happen is you go home same way as you went out... single and lonely.
I too fall into the fear of women. My problem seems to be I can do the funny**** one liners all day with a woman I'm 75% interested in not caring about her NO responces.
But a woman I've developed a secret crush on I can't speak to. Litterally I'm parylized with some irrational phsycological block that shuts the pathway from my brain to my mouth. I'm sure it works out for the better. But. Just once I would like to get the words out "Can I take you for coffee sometime?" To a woman I have a crush on.
No is simply a two letter word I get that and quite often I'll start a conversation with a woman I've just met...
"Do you have a boyfriend?... Her reply..."No."
"Are you married?"... Her reply..."No."
Try a little Funny... "So what's wrong with you then?"... The reply on this one varies quite often but the point is to run with it as best you can.
After this goes on for a while I go in for the..." I have to get heading off to (someplace)... I had fun would you mind doing this again sometime?" If she says yes we exchange numbers if she says no I leave it at that and move on.
That is unless I've developed a crush on her in those few minutes and I'm clammed up tighter than a crabs butt under water...and the conversation ended long before..." I have to be going..." stage.
Point is rejection sucks we all must deal with it and as the book says "Maybe she's just not that into you?" | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/12/2009 3:44:54 PM | | You are just afraid of getting put down by a woman, but if you think about it's nothing really if she doesn't like you just move on to the next girl, its there loss ain't it. It not like you going see them again anyway is it, unless you asking out some at work. You could be also stuck for words and not sure what to say that what makes you scared, before you go up to a girl think of what you wanna ask her, try to excite her, make her laugh, show her your naughty side, be nice, show your feeling by telling how she looks speak from your heart, some girls like abit of cheeky talk but don't over do it. Tell her about your past, ask about her dreams, fav things etc. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/12/2009 10:36:48 PM | I agree with EST74. If you get rejected you have to deal with it. If it makes you frustrated you have two choices: you will be passive about it, don't make any decisions and end up avoiding asking women out. You can end up getting addicted to something too.
The other choice: you have to make a decision.
It can be destructive (victim thinking, complaining, regretting, revenging) or constructive (you take the courage to do the right thing, do whatever it takes to change it by getting help, learning new skills, even if you afraid)
If the challenge (in this case asking women out) is too hard to handle, you need new skills and mindsets to deal with it.
If it means you need a therapy, a seminar, reading some books or getting any kind of support, you do it. You invest in yourself.
You learn new communication skills, body language and start to master your boundaries. You take a "development detour" for long term success. How do I know? I'm on it.
Desirable women can have anything they want.
What they want is a challenge… something that keeps their interest. If a woman can have anything she wants, anytime she wants it, then why we guys think that we’re going to be interesting by doing the same thing that every other guy doing?
Studies indicate you have realistically closer to 4 seconds to make a good first impression on those you come in contact with.
Because attraction isn't a choice, a girl makes consciously, you need to spark the attraction by flirting with the girl from the very beginning of the interaction.
If you interact with a girl, she will form an impression of you.
If she isn't attracted to you, there is nothing you can do about it.
If she feels attraction for you, there is nothing she can do about it.
There is nothing you can do to stand out in a woman’s mind faster than to let her know that you are selective when it comes to women. You have to communicate her that
"You are interesting enough to talk to, but you're going to have to do a lot more than just look good to impress me. You need to communicate from the mindsets like:
there is no downside (nothing to loose), detach from any particular outcome, I'm a catch and time with me is valuable, she wants me, but I'm going to tease her to see how much, and she has to prove that she is above average.
I recommend you to read the e-book "Double your dating" by David DeAngelo, and get on his free email newsletter. (it's the minimum, because there is a lot more great books/programs out there.) Here is an article about the top ten reasons why men fail with women: http://whymenfailwithwomen.blogspot.com/ | |
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