| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:38:44 AM | Woo, old thread.
The answer is simply rejection. Because the guy usually has to ask the woman, it puts the woman in a perceived position of power to decide if he's up to her standards or not. The man's already put forward that she's worth his time, so there's no risk to the woman, and looking at it like this, it's hard to deflect the blow to the ego when she says no. Some women even go so far as to rub it in.
I think the healthier reaction from the guy would be to see it either as her loss or something that just wouldn't work. If you're a great guy who is honestly up to par, you know it, and she snubbed you, either she's not available and did you a favor, or she just ruined a good chance for herself. Women certainly face consequences for making bad decisions, like the ones complaining about picking up the "jerks" all the time. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:56:09 AM | | Good one Fnnar, I was trying to say that. Guess I didn't word it right and I go with that mind set. Anyways why worry about rejection, there is more important matters than rejection. Just think of the most hardest time in your life and compare that to asking a woman out. I'm pretty sure that having a injures, hard life, or losing a nut is more harsh then a woman who judge you on appearance. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:07:48 PM | Does that whole pickup stuff really work anyway, as I ve been noticing majority of the relationships that come to life(which includes mine and those of my friends) don't happen randomly on the street or in bars. Most of them get to know each other either from working together, going to school together or getting to know each other at the parties from mutual friends etc.
As for me I don't really bother with the random stuff of coming up to random people in hopes that they suddenly like you. It is way easier to get into a drunk conversation with some girl at a party and to find out she s interested in you, not like you r asking her out you just happen to be in the same place drinking together so why not talk. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:54:12 PM | Learn to play an insturement, get in a band, and collect groupies just for head count.
If thats all you really want ;)
You are probably not going to meet a person of quality that you want to spend any time with in a bar; so why take the rejection there personal. You just another piece o meat at the deli counter. Get on with the life, get out of the grinder. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:01:40 AM | you don't have to make it complicated to ask a gal out (women are just friends -with boobs)
even if its just a noontime lunch at Mcdonalds, -if she's even remotely interested, she'll say yes to nearly any innocent date you request   | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:54:30 PM | .....because in most cases....it's not the door to love you're knocking on...it's the door to hell......your best bet is to take the advice I saw on a shirt recently "I used to care, but now I take a pill for that"...... | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:52:57 PM | 808 syndicate wrote:
As guys , women will never know how it feels to be rejected by 14 different people from the opposite sex in one night , they always remeber the horrible moment of their one or two rejections they had in their lives.
That really makes it sound like you really don't care which girl you end up with - so maybe it's a good thing they all said no. Personally I'd want a guy to want ME - not just any ol' female, after 13 other attempts. 14 different girls in one night definitely screams desperation - which is not attractive to anyone.
As a female I've asked a couple of guys I know if they wanted to meet up and they either said they were busy or didn't reply. Sod's law, I suppose. I get guys I don't want asking me - but the guys I would like to meet don't. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:22:39 PM |
That really makes it sound like you really don't care which girl you end up with - so maybe it's a good thing they all said no. Personally I'd want a guy to want ME - not just any ol' female, after 13 other attempts.
You're making it sound like he asked 14 women to marry him.
I've asked for phone numbers of women I had only just met before. To say that doing so is tantamount to not caring who I end up with is patently ludicrous. I do care a great deal about who I end up with, but we're not talking about the end result here -- we're talking about a first date.
After all, how do I know if I want a woman or not unless I've actually gone on a date with her and spent that time together? | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/8/2009 1:19:20 AM | If you ask me its got to do with the past,women have spent over 100 years or more trying to get equal rights,so it stands to reason that in some ways women are going to feel a little threatened if they see themselves giving away some of that hard earned equality,especially if the guy attempts to take advantage of the situation,so its easier for women to keep the guy off guard,keep him guessing which in the end keeps her happy but in the end makes him to afraid to ask her,because the same situation has occurred so many times,theres a history for men to look back on and now alot of men are just not going to bother asking anymore.......which in turn confuses the women and the cycle begins again.....
P.S all the above information could be completely wrong but hey its fun putting in my 2 cents worth.  | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:27:57 AM | | guys are afraid to ask women out because they have no guts. i used to have no guts, and i look back and shake my head at my former me. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/8/2009 6:10:04 AM | | Sounds to me like your coming from a place of scarcity.This means you put too much emphasis on one women.Get out there and approach a thousand women then rejection just wont register emotionally. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:06:36 PM | | It's a lot easier to be visually appealing to someone than it is to be emotionally appealing to someone, thats another reason why women have it easier than men when it comes to dating and relationships. Women don't need to have a social status in order to attract a Man, Women just need to be born cute or pretty. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:11:17 PM | | I usually talk myself out of it. I like to be sure but I am never sure. I'm not like a lot of guys where they can just shake off being turned down. So a lot of times I don't take the chance just because I feel like I'm not in control and I feel like an idiot asking someone out. I literally feel like throwing up when trying to pick up a girl. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:31:32 AM | I'm surprised no one mentioned sexual harassment complaints. That's a big reason I don't even flirt with women most of the time.
But then again, I got fired from a job once over a sexual harassment complaint when I never interacted of even looked at any of the women there. So I guess if someone has it in for you, they're going to get you anyway. But better to increase one's chances of staying off the radar... | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:17:38 PM | | You know, women are afraid of rejection too...probably even more so than men are. Women are emotional and sensitive and yeah, we'll likely to cry if a guy rejects us. And now, finding out that men are just as scared- well, Jesus! No wonder I'm still single! I get checked out here and there, but never have the courage to approach the situation, and well apparently, neither does the guy! Looks like there's gonna be some single people out there for awhile, including me! lol | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:57:56 PM | Men have to strut around like a peacock to get attention.
Women only have to stand there. Yeah I see how women are more afraid of rejection. If anything the players and fakes dislike rejection more than anybody.
I knew 2 guys that thought they were hot shit and got humiliated by a few women in 1 night. It was hilarious and they got scared of rejection ever since. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/12/2009 1:50:15 AM | | Yeah, exactly, women get easy dates just standing still, it's like they can get a date or a boyfriend whenever they want to. Us men have to have perfect social skills in order for a girl to even show the slightest interest back in us. Women just need to smile and say "Hi", in order for us men to be receptive to them. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/12/2009 10:33:53 AM | Guys aren't afraid to ask women out they just hate playing a game where the rules so heavily favor one side over another. Dating is about as unfair as unfair can get, the rules are set up for guys to fail and women to feel like gods.
Blame the system, not the guys............. I say let the women start asking us out and see how they like getting rejected all the damn time. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/14/2009 1:08:12 PM | | You and me both , its all about having the confidence, if you dont have it then you are pretty much stuck. Asking women out is quite scary, especially if you cant take rejection, some people can alot of others cant. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:24:18 PM | @MissBlackVelvet
And that may be another reason guys don't like to ask women out. If a girl rejects you and other girls become aware of that chances are they will all reject you.
Generally though you can fish for interest by saying you'll be doing something that night and see how she reacts. If she doesn't care at all then chances are it's not going to happen so don't bother.  | |
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