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| | Why are guys afraid to ask women out?Page 3 of 16 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16) | SDDude, sounds like you've had it rough. Have an idea for you friend. Look for women everywhere, don't go up to 14 in one night if it brings you down. Self Pity becomes none of us man.  | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:23:52 PM | but not all ego is the same... ego must have substance
or its weak
:) see my point?
if a guy has some real substance his ego is not weak !!!!
he can percieve things differently... and what was once a threat... is just now...
no interest.
NO problem :)
see? | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:27:09 PM | ego with substance is based on integrity, honesty, a realistic self worth,
empathy... things that are not easily threatened. if a man has integrity... he KNOWS IT... it does not falter or change according to someones perceptions of him because he KNOWS he has it...
same with these other values... 
am I making sense to you? | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:30:11 PM | | ewww NO, been there done that, happy to know that she was that immature and inconsiderate of others to do such a thing again i was a kid then to and so was she why let it hurt? good to know the person had a cruel streak in advance! how much self worth is in letting a stranger hurt you? more self worth to deal with rejection fears and get over with it. i know that sounds harsh, maybe even illogical, it's not. ps this is coming from a guy. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:34:53 PM | Red,
I get what you're saying. But I'm far too confident (truth be told, probably c0cky) to let anything phase me. I'm much more devestated if I make a mistake at work or get less than an A in a class than I am if a woman turns down my invitation. I can't take back the mistake (hell, it's been read by 10s of thousands of people by that point) and I can't improve my grade after the fact ... but there's always more Phish ... erm, uhm ... Fish :-P | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:39:35 PM | the difference between a ego with substance and a false overinflated ego
is what seprates the men from the boys....
not just in dating or marriage...
ego with substance lasts longer... wears better... has better return on investment...
:)
but hey... everyone has their own choices to make and life ot live... whatever suits ya....
and your happy with... if its working.. then I guess nobody has a problem...
Im going to bed now ... nite
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sddude
| | Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 58 | |
| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:39:43 PM | double cabin I look for woman everywhere , even have made a book for myself on where ai can find them , where they hangout.
Yam you maust get dates every week then , feel good about yourself. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:54:44 PM | SD,
The least of my concerns is finding dates. Half the battle is knowing where to find women that not only suit you, but you have the qualities to suit them. After that it's just turning on the charm. As I've learned in studying marketing, a good marketing campaign could sell an ice chest to an Eskimo. You need to learn how to best market yourself. There's always an audience or a list of potential buyers out there. The question is, what is the best and most effective way to reach them?
Personally, it's probably easier for me than a lot of guys because I meet tons of women through my job. Plus, I have learned how to market myself and to what sector of the "consumer" I get the best response. I have dated some women that are so far out of my league it's ridiculous. But I've figured out how to package and sell myself based on my best qualities. Good luck, bro.  | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 9:56:58 PM |
ego with substance is based on integrity, honesty, a realistic self worth,
empathy... things that are not easily threatened. if a man has integrity... he KNOWS IT... it does not falter or change according to someones perceptions of him because he KNOWS he has it...
same with these other values...
MissRed has just described me to a T. She just missed to mention the lack of boastfull pride as opposed to self assuredness.
Sdude you yourself say that women want a sensitive guy but rip them to shreds when you just walk up to say hello. This is an attack on their own hypocracy, their own failings, not yours. They may even like you but are afraid of what their girlfriends might think, so they ditch you. My ego is my enemy, I try and crush it because it over inflates one's own self worth towards OTHERS. It is not about being a tough guy, bad boy or a basterd as we see many guys are. It is about knowing yourself and knowing they don't know you, their loss. The beauty of it all is once you're complete in yourself you don't even hold it against them. You may still buy them a drink after the dissing. Give them a nod from afar after they get the drink just to say, I respect your opinion. Some are not even respecting themselves in how they act towards others, let their conscience eat their brains out. Either way you win with the proper mindset. | |
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sddude
| | Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 62 | |
| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 10:40:57 PM | So much bloodshed , guys all over lying in thier puddle of blood , woman with knives stabbing at the losers , the ones they see unfit a few like the guy who went to marketing school , taking all of the chicks , must have a college education to get chicks so sad , sad , a chicks pit bull is knawing at my face just for kicks , it;s over , I am turning gay , maybe a guy's hairy ass is not as bad afteral, heheheheh.
FAce getting eating off ... rating dropping from 4 to 0  | |
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mdew22
| | Joined: 11/23/2004
Msg: 63 | |
| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/26/2005 11:07:57 PM | i look every where that i go. i do stop and talk to a lot of women all the time. i learned a long time ago that rejection is nothing to fear. its just a fact of life. i do get rejected a lot but i do get some takers too. its as simple as this. if you dont ask some one out you arent going to go out. if you never stop and talk to some one you will never find any one. its just that simple is all. so you guys that are scared to ask some one out or to stop and talk to some one that smiles at you in a store. just do it. if they keep walking then no harm done . but what if she is the one that is for you. then you will have won every thing that you have ever wanted.
mdew22 | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 6:23:49 AM | | I know that a rejection is a psycological hit to the male ego, this is why I created this, is to try to find a cure sort of speak to ease the pain of rejection sddude said 14 was his record for rejections in one night, my personal record was 20 that night I went home and cried my self to sleep, that was the worst day of my life. Rejection does hurt ladies, cant you think of a way to tell us that wont make us want to cry. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 6:44:45 AM | gilles54 Here is some valuable information. You say you cannot be alone anymore loneliness is killing me. I understand that's how you feel, but that mindset is the surest way to drive a woman away. For some reason, a man that's desperately lonely even if he looks like Tom Cruise will repel a woman as fast as anything.
First off, dry the tears, and you have to somehow convince yourself that you ARE a great guy and you WILL make someone happy someday. Women are attracted by confidence, heck, if you don't respect yourself and feel like you're worthy of a good woman, why the heck would WE??
I don't have any quickie Dr. Phil solutions here, just telling you that desperate loneliness will drive the women away.
Keep your chin up, believe you're a great guy and go out and do something great for YOU. Spoil yourself a little, do some positive self talk in your head. I know it sounds zany but trust me it works. If you can't convince yourself that you're terrific you'll never convince anyone else. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 6:54:20 AM | | msred I think that MOST women return in kind. You approach them maturely, whether in person, email or whatever, and you get a mature answer, even if it IS no. And vice versa. If your first email/conversation with a woman has anything sexual in it, what would you expect. Oh and I've also written plenty of emails that never got answered. I finally got a guy to spill the beans and guess what he said. Well, guys just figure that any woman that writes them has to have something really wrong with her.....obviously not ALL men think that, but that answer kinda knocked my sox off..... | |
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Palpy
| | Joined: 4/18/2005
Msg: 68 | |
| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 6:58:38 AM | Why do men feel they need a women. Is it part of the male psyche that if you don't have a women that you're somehow inferior?
My best advice is get your life together, build your self confidence then you may attract a women. If you don't attract a women, who cares. Keep living your life.
Don't be afraid to ask a women out on a date. Rejection is a part of life. If you know you are a good person on the inside, female rejection shouldn't bother you.
Palpy | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 7:07:07 AM | sddude You handsome stud puppy you!! Listen the WORST place to try to meet someone is a bar or club. It's an artifical setting, made to foster a zoo like atmosphere. Oh sure there's a "fun" element to it, but really. We have a TV ad, don't know if you have seen it. Anyway, there's 3 young hot studs talking about something hot, then pans to a beatiful sexy woman in a red dress. They start walking towards her and she is beckoning them with her eyes, well they walk right past here, one even bumps into her, they're wanting some HOT food I think it was for Taco Bell....anyway, cute commercial.
The best way to meet someone is doing something where 1) there's a group of people 2) where you do something together on a regular basis. It could be group tennis lessons, could be a photography class, or it could be a social thing, or volunteer. That way, you can be in a group and it's easier to approach a woman, much less threatening to both. Plus you have the chance to get to know them over a period of time and outside of the pressure cooker of a first blind date scenario. You're wasting your time in clubs, other than to socialize, enjoy music, dance your cute little tush off, whatever.
You are certainly a very desirable man, seriously, not just lookswise but after reading your posts you have humor, intelligence and depth. Very appealing.
Spend your time or rather invest your time where it will have the most likely chance of being fruitful. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 7:09:20 AM | SD,
Dude, the thing you need to do is learn your strengths and then play to them. Developing confidence is huge, too. Confidence is universally attractive - men love it in women, women love it in men. Decide what makes you special, realize why you are special and why a woman would be lucky to land a date with you. Some women won’t see things from your point of view, and that’s cool. But don’t let it tear at you. You have to walk with a swagger in your mind. Walk into any place - be it a coffee shop, a bar, night club, etc. -and say to yourself “Damn, I’m the best guy in here,” and believe it. The next step is easy - get a woman convinced of the same thing. You can’t sell a product if you don’t believe in it! Good luck. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 7:10:15 AM | Yam, this is something a friend sent me about marketing.....perfect followup to what you're talking about.
People often ask for an explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed," That's Telemarketing.
You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed," That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" . That's Junk Mail.
You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and gropes your breast and grabs your ass. That's Arnold Schwarzenegger.
You like it, but 20 years later your attorney decides you were offended and files suit. That's America. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 7:14:51 AM | There scared.
Or do not want to be rejected.
It hurts.The lady's don't go though that as much as men,after all men are most of the time the ones that ask the lady's out. | |
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| Why are guys afraid to ask women out?
Posted: 5/27/2005 7:29:07 AM | Lets see.. what i'm noticing as beginning to work with me is this..
Walk by em.. if ya notice them checkin ya out or something just say
You: "Hey how ya doin?"
Her: "fine how about you?"
You: "pretty good. No complaints here. So what's all been goin on in your world lately?"
Her: "Just work/school/life. How about you?"
You: "Pretty much the same old boring stuff except.. *run off some juicy stuff if any*"
Her: "Wow.. that sounds interesting."
You: "Yeah until it gets boring. Anyhow I'm gonna head over here, feel free to join if ya want."
Her: "Ok, i'll think about it/Nah.. I can't leave my friends."
You: Orite.. See you soon enough perhaps./I know.. kinda a bummer when they don't let you do what you really want to do."
then ya leave.. there ya had a conversation.. you didn't ask her out per se, but you invited her to join you which is a good step. The more ya do it the easier it gets, then the bolder you get later on with asking girls to do things with ya. Then your confidence begins to grow and women pick up on that and walah! Chick magnet.. least till she kicks ya in the nads for grabbin her hinney at the wrong time. :) But don't let that fool ya.. it means she likes you so much she wants you off right there.. women love men that squeal like constipated, twisted nut blue balled pigs.. trust me. :)
Buddah | |
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