| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:24:28 PM | I don't think it is the 'we don't want anymore factor', I would enjoy more children in my home. I believe we ponder over how all the children will get along...the merging factor of children all being happy in one home, if it comes to that. The discipline discussed between parents before that ever happens and how each deals with the others children in regards to treating them as 'our own'. factor.
The brady bunch was wonderful to watch and learn from but, Alice the maid kept the family intact, sad as it is to omit but how many homes have someone like 'Alice' to fill in while the parents are both working to ensure their family has the necessities?
A merging of families is complicated unless everything is discussed in detail...No one wants to reside in a drama induced house hold, there may be some drama but the parents need to be 'together' in the workings of how the household will run..etc., the boundries, the discipline, the family outings...it sounds complicated but it doesn't have to be with open communication between the parents from the very beginning. And guess what...there can even be time for just the parents to enjoy each other...
Everything in life is workable, it just depends on how hard you want to work towards happiness within a family household.  
Good luck,
spirit | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/8/2009 9:28:00 PM | | Personally for me, being a single mother, the draw back of dating a single father is being on the other end of any custody/visitation etc etc disputes/battles, as mine is getting ugly, i dont' want to get envolved in any potential issues on the other end too. So less potential for drama | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:18:56 AM | | I think wat ur saying has some truth to it but there are single mothers out there that prefer to date single fathers. There is more of an understanding between the 2 parties. dont give up im sure u will meet someone that doesnt mind that u have kids and will embrace them as their own. | |
|
| |
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/9/2009 6:48:25 PM | | I'm a single mother looking for a single father. I would however put a limit of children that the man has at 2. I only have 1 son. A single father with an only child my son's age (7) would be ideal. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/9/2009 8:00:14 PM | Personally for me, being a single mother, the draw back of dating a single father is being on the other end of any custody/visitation etc etc disputes/battles, as mine is getting ugly, i dont' want to get envolved in any potential issues on the other end too. So less potential for drama
So that means the draw back with dating you, a single mom, would be the same things as you mentioned above. You with your custody and visitation issue's wouldn't make things any easier for a childless man dating you.....it would make things harder for him dating you. The only one that it would make things easier for is you! This is a very selfish way to think.
So for any reason why you would not want to date a single dad, you can add that to the list of why a childless man would not want to date you, a single mom.......potential for drama. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/9/2009 8:07:32 PM | | I am a single mama...and as hard as it is (was, hopefully) hard for me to find someone to accept the fact that I have 2 children, I would not want to date a single father. My own personal reasoning for that is because I have 2 children already, who have a half-sister, and she has a half-brother, and a step-brother...and I think its too much for my kids to absorb...even though they are young.....I don't want any step-kids because I have been down that road before....call me a hypocrite because I am a single mom and can't expect only single men to be interested in me...but it is what it is.... | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/9/2009 9:08:32 PM | I am a single mama...and as hard as it is (was, hopefully) hard for me to find someone to accept the fact that I have 2 children
How selfish...You may have found someone that does not have children, but that is not the reason you are dating him. You just so happen to have met a man that did not have children, but if that same guy you are with now happen to have had children and was interested in you, you still would have dated him. So do not think that just because you have found 1 single childless guy to date you, you are now marketable to childless men. Are you really saying that if the guy you are dating now had a child you would not date him?
I would not want to date a single father.
Then you are eliminating a whole group of nice men who would be understanding of your situation, which would be most men since single parents always say most people a certain age have children anyway. Then you are left with the small pool of eligible bacholers single/no kids and out of those guys how many are willing to date single moms? Especially single moms with the attitude of they will not date single dads because they want a man to cater to them and their issues. You say that your children already have haf-siblings, step-siblings, etc... Well who's fault is that? Certainly not the single man with no kids, why bring him into that complexity? But wait, you would be willing to have a child with him to add to all the half-sibling, step-siblking drama, right?
Any man with a shred of dignity would bolt like lightning from this type of attitude. Of course single moms will meet beta males who cater to this ridiculousness, but a lot of beta males are getting smart and will not be subject to single moms and these self-serving attitudes.
and I think its too much for my kids to absorb
Everything to you may be all about you and your kids, but not to everyone else. Ever think if it would be too much for a childless man to absorb.
I don't want any step-kids because I have been down that road before
To any man you marry with kids or without, you will bring step-kids into the fold. Why should you be free of step-kids?
....call me a hypocrite because I am a single mom and can't expect only single men to be interested in me
Don't forget being called selfish, self-serving, and self-absorbed.
but it is what it is....
Yes it is......selfish, self-serving, and self-absorbed. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/10/2009 2:56:26 AM |
Personally for me, being a single mother, the draw back of dating a single father is being on the other end of any custody/visitation etc etc disputes/battles, as mine is getting ugly, i dont' want to get envolved in any potential issues on the other end too. So less potential for drama
Wow, that takes selfish and hypocritical to new levels. Your drama, your life, your kids are ok, but him, he's got to be a chalkboard wiped clean of any sign of previous existence. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/10/2009 12:56:39 PM | im a single mother myself and i would prefer to be dating a single father. the way i see it if a man can take on his partners children it is only right that the women takes a part in his childrens life. goes both ways in my eyes. if i met a bloke with children and he didnt want to be a part in my childrens life i would be well rid ov him. when your single parents we all come as a package,x | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/10/2009 6:28:23 PM | See I have the same problem, Im 30 years old too. I have a 16 months old son which I have full custody of, and I run into the sdame problem: women that are single and childless dont want to be involved with someone with achild/ infant. and single women that alread yhave children act like they dont want to date someone that has another kid, or one thats so young mabey?
Especially at my age, its very frustrating! | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:07:46 AM | I know what you mean.
i`m a single dad with 5 kids....i`m not on here looking for a replacement mum for my kids....
My kids are my live...but i think some people think your on here just looking for a mum for your kids....
well im not ;)
im happy in my family life.
what i miss is the adult connection which could be via email or over a cup of coffee..
but i think it is hard to see past the first bit.....5kids.....
sorry for ramberling :) | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:32:40 AM | | hi we are not all like that. used to have my partners 3 kids staying with me every weekend . we have now broke up and his oldest we girl has been living with me for a year and a half. so dont give up if they cant except ur kids they r not worth knowing. good luck to u and congratulations on being a good father | |
|
| I can speak only for myself
Posted: 9/13/2009 9:10:16 PM | Please dont be offended, but Honestly - As a Single Mother, a very driven one, with a true vision that I WILL Acheive --- may take me a little longer than I would like, but I will get there...
the thought of settling down with a man that has even 1 kid is to me like taking Food from my baby's mouth. (I know that sounds mean and harsh) but in the whole big picture, that is how I look at it.
That is not only a car for my baby's sweet 16, but also your's... that is not only college etc etc for mine, but college for yours... see there is a reason I have only ONE.
and obviously I learn from my mistakes :-)
I feel you on the companionship, but good luck dude! - see I am so picky that I wont even let someone come over - no matter how lonely I might get - and show their face here, if my daughter wakes up - I would be like look, you gotta fly out the window or Something! Peace out! lol I dont want that one memory to be of her momma with some guy sneaking over late at night.
again please dont think I am being rude or stuck-up... I am just very goal oriented, and anything that isnt in the plan isnt in the plan. But also I am not the girl that is looking for a FATHER for my child. I dont want any man to provide anything for either one of us. I will take care of whatever we need... (unlike some of my friends that expect others to provide a silver platter for them)
p.s. just one more thought, then Im going to bed - How does $8000 a year for car insurance sound to you? --- start saving because when your three are all in the same household with you, and of driving age, you gonna need all the companionship you can get to suffer through that bill! lol :-) Im just making light of the situation you're in, and driving my point home.
I happy to be your friend by the way... but no hope for the future! ;-) | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/14/2009 1:37:56 PM | | Not all woman are like that. I find a guy who takes care of his children after a seperation a very sexy trait. I was in a realtionship for nearly 12 years with a guy who had children. Being a step parent is never easy but there are good woman and men alike out there who are willing to put forth that effort and open their hearts. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/14/2009 1:57:21 PM | | you have not met the right woman...i do mind a man with young children...my son is eighteen years old...but i am involved with family members who are young...everybody has different choices...do not put everybody in a group | |
|
| |
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/14/2009 10:43:41 PM | | Indeed it is an odd phenomenon that most single moms do not seem to want a responsible family oriented man who is good with kids and prefers family activities over the nightlife? | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:51:09 AM | | well in my last relationship my ex had 3 children when we met , i played a big role in there life had them best part ov the time for 3 year even took one on tht wasnt his becoz i couldnt leave the child out. i didnt mind as i had a child ov my own . furthr on in the relationsip i had a child to him, after we separated afterour child was born it was a differnet story on his part he messed our child around so much it makes me mad to think he can do tht after all i done for his kids, but hey iv learned by him but it hasnt put me of seeing a single father. i guess there al not like that, my children are my life and im not looking for a father for them just some one tht be there for them and there kids would get same back in return. theres enough love to go around both packages im sure all us single parents can share it, | |
|
| |
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:17:50 PM | | well dude would you want to get involved with a woman with 3 children that aren't yours? not a whole lot would. and as a single dad...i don't want 3 more stresses in my life....actually 4 including the mom. relationships are hard enough with just two people. the more kids...the harder it is. if you had one..maybe..two is pushing it...3....that's tough. swallow the medicine and go get yourself a penthouse and enjoy sunday football. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:38:00 PM | | I have no problem dating a guy with kids. The problem seems to be actually finding time to get together. Most guys have custody of their kids on the weekend, which is when I am available to go out. I'm certainly not going to ask them to shorten the precious time they have with their kids to hang out with me and vice versa. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:51:24 PM | | I can't have any more children, I've accepted that and I am gracious to have the two that I have and a part of me did not want children from different fathers so I think a single dad would be perfect for me as it would fill my house with more children and someone who would understand the daily dealings of being a single parent. Doesn't every single Mom dream of the Brady Bunch kind of life?? Alice can come too | |
|
| |
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/26/2009 10:30:01 AM | Well personally for me i have little desire to have any more biological children at 33 i did at one point but i feel that time has passed,as for the man in my lifes kids i would treat them as my own in a ltr | |
|
Home
login 
