| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/26/2009 6:49:39 PM | the irony of your statement is, im being to think the same thing about men that has kids.. most dont want anymore.. i think that if i were to find some one that i adore i would like to have a child with him... i think thats will always be in the back of my mind.. if a man refuses to have anymore kids, i dont feel there is much more we have in common... even if it doesnt happen i want to know that there could be a chance.. ya know.. or did i just confuse you? lol lookin for swimmers... | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/27/2009 12:55:56 PM | I'm a single mother and I have to say that I don't want a single father. I also understand guys who dont want a single mother. For me, my schedule is pretty hectic so it wouldnt make sense for me to go out with someone who has the same hectic schedule that having kids brings, because we would hardly see each other. Secondly, I am concious of 'The Ex' floating in the background like an unseen deity, and I feel it would be odd as I would have tremendous respect for her, whilst also feeling threatened. I think love is hard enough to get off the ground without situations like that.
I dont think there is any one particular reason why though, I think it just depends the person. I wouldn't rule it out all together, if I met someone and it was love at first sight, then fair enough. I'm just not planning to willingly seek that kind of relationship. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/27/2009 11:03:29 PM | I'm a single father who's dated women with and without kids. I couldn't care less about single moms that don't want to date single dads. I probably wouldn't want to date them if I weren't a single father. Also, there's an age thing. If a woman's in her teens or 20s, there are plenty of men her age who don't have kids. By the time a woman's 35 or so, the guys who've never been married and who don't have kids start to look a little creepy.
Now, women and men who stay away from potential partners who have all-encompassing custody/baby-mama/baby-daddy/ex- drama are doing the right thing. Here are a few warning signs:
1. Ex- drama comes into conversation more and more often. Women and men with a lot of drama often hide it at first, gradually draw you into it.
2. Curse words used to describe the ex-. This is a big sign most people miss. This means that there are some strong feelings still being tossed around, and perhaps that he or she isn't ready for any sort of emotional entanglement.
3. Introducing you to the ex- early on. If on the third date you've already met the ex- for some innocuous reason - dropping off the kids, paying spousal or child support in person, or (**cringe**) living in the neighborhood, you're being shown off. You're being used to make the ex- jealous.
4. A pattern. If you keep dating men or women with a lot of drama for this or that, maybe you're ignoring some of the signs. Sure, everyone has drama, but if you've dated two women who've had nervous breakdowns in one year, something's wrong.
5. Talk of violence or trouble with the law. Nothing means a handshake at the end of the date more than talking about restraining orders and Child Protective Services.
Now I'm not one to shy away from drama. A true friend doesn't. I don't ditch a woman because I don't want to go out with her or she doesn't want to go out with me, or because she's - for lack of a better phrase - a little nutty. But I'm trying to learn not to get together with her in person. Maybe that'll work. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:29:00 AM | | I am a single mom of 2. I don't rule out dating single dads. But most of the single dads that I have met have been married before. It means a lot to me to find a man that has never been married. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 9/28/2009 12:39:25 PM |
I am a single mom of 2. I don't rule out dating single dads. But most of the single dads that I have met have been married before. It means a lot to me to find a man that has never been married.
This is interesting, I haven't seen this type of preference before. What are your reasons for preferring a never married man? | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:52:16 AM | You need 
stop hiding behind your kids. do not blame them for the reason women wont date you. Most women with kids prefer guys who have them as well. It's a plain and simple fact as attested to here by countless women, and even men with kids.
Just stop . . . kids are precious please do not use them as your excuse. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:25:41 AM | "Most women with kids prefer guys who have them as well. It's a plain and simple fact as attested to here by countless women, and even men with kids. "
Not for this man with kids. I find most of the time it there are less issues when I date women with out kids. Women with out kids just have more freetime to hook-up and together time is why lots of us date in the first place. Women with out kids also do not seem to get as bent out of shape when plans change because my ex did not show and pick up the kids on her weekend. Women with out kids seem to have their own spending money and don't look to me to pick up every dinner out. I don't write women off because they have kids, but they often times write them self off my list because of limited date time or over night date times. Big turn off when dating. Then the are the women who have kids that are just not fun to be around, because the kids lack dicipline. Who wants that, being around bad kids is just not fun. Finding a women with kids that has time to date, to include over night dates, that does not get bent out of shape when plans change because I have to do stuff with my kids and who has kids that are not a pain for me and my kids to be around and that also is some one I would want to date (has money, not a fat ass); well for me less the one out of ten single mothers makes the cut. Not hard to find women with out kids that make the cut. I bet lots of single mothers think the same even if they don't say it here in the forums. There are lots that do say it right on the profile too I.E. no kids and this is just a plan and simple fact, it is also one I get. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:43:36 AM | I am a single mom of 2. It means a lot to me to find a man that has never been married.
that's interesting ^
I wouldn't call it interesting. That's bass-ackwards, hypocritcal, unrealistic maybe, but not interesting. An unwed mother of 2 wants to find a man who has never been married. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:13:24 PM | | well im a single parent of 2 boys and i agree it can be difficult finding someone, but my kids come 1st if a woman cant accept the fact that i have children then they aint worth the time of day.on the other hand if i was female i,d defo go for a single parent male because i wouldnt trust anyone near my children whose not got a proven track record with children with all the perverts about nowdays tbh, | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/5/2009 5:40:41 PM |
i,d defo go for a single parent male because i wouldnt trust anyone near my children whose not got a proven track record with children with all the perverts about nowdays tbh,
half the perv.s you are talking about are parents | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:49:39 PM | freetimetobeme wrote:
Not for this man with kids. I find most of the time it there are less issues when I date women with out kids. Women with out kids just have more freetime to hook-up and together time is why lots of us date in the first place.
Women with out kids also do not seem to get as bent out of shape when plans change because my ex did not show and pick up the kids on her weekend. Women with out kids seem to have their own spending money and don't look to me to pick up every dinner out. I don't write women off because they have kids, but they often times write them self off my list because of limited date time or over night date times. Big turn off when dating. Then the are the women who have kids that are just not fun to be around, because the kids lack dicipline. Who wants that, being around bad kids is just not fun. Finding a women with kids that has time to date, to include over night dates, that does not get bent out of shape when plans change because I have to do stuff with my kids and who has kids that are not a pain for me and my kids to be around and that also is some one I would want to date (has money, not a fat ass); well for me less the one out of ten single mothers makes the cut. Not hard to find women with out kids that make the cut. I bet lots of single mothers think the same even if they don't say it here in the forums. There are lots that do say it right on the profile too I.E. no kids and this is just a plan and simple fact, it is also one I get
Ok, I haven't dated any men who have under age kids since I started dating again, but I've noticed on these boards that usually men gripe about the women who don't have children are the ones who don't understand when plans have to be postponed because of the reason you cited. Now you're saying that your experience it's the ones with kids that don't understand when plans have to change or get cancelled. Sheesh! A girl just can't win. But I will say this that I have first hand experience of having someone contact me due to interest, but after I communicated to him (in case he didn't read my profile and just looked at my pretty pictures :::sarcasm intended:::) that I have a 10 year old daughter that I share 50/50 custody with my ex, where there is no baby daddy drama and having the free time to date, he never contacted me again. That's proof that he never really read my profile because had he done so, he would've seen that I have a child. Nevertheless, I was a turn off to him which I'm glad to find out from his non-response to my reply to him rather than have him ditch me later.
I guess I don't get it. Men still won't even entertain the notion of dating a woman with a child despite learning that there is no baby daddy/ex drama, a greater degree to date with overnights being a possibility due to the circumstances as I've already stated. I know it's their choice and perrogative, but they are also cheating themselves out of a potentially good relationship, imo. I will date a man with children. To me, its hypocritical not to do so. Why should I expect a man to accept my child and not accept his. I say walk the walk. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:27:02 AM | | i wouldnt say 1/2 lol thats a bit extreme to say the least, but yeh there is a good few i guess which is why a parent has to take these precausions nowdays.what a sick society we live in today eh.. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:28:44 AM | "Now you're saying that your experience it's the ones with kids that don't understand when plans have to change or get cancelled. Sheesh! A girl just can't win."
I am not saying a girl can't win, but yes from my experience it is not even close it is the women with out kids that seem to go with the flow better when plans get changed because of kids. I had one women get bent out of shape when I said the ex did not show, but I got a sitter for the night, only thing is I have to get her (the sitter) home before midninght so I will have to leave the show by 11. I even told her we can just take two cars so she could see the last act if she wanted to and meet me at my house after the show. She went off (not the only single mother experience I had like this) about how she only has every other weekend free and I was fu@king it up for her. This to me, when I am lucky if the ex takes the kids once a month for one night. Well that was an easy fix for me I said have fun without me and I found a women that did not mind my leaving at 11 to go with me. Yes, the women I found had no kids. The single mom looked pissed when see saw me and my new date at the show. She had no date, wounder why with that attitude. I have not had the same problem from women without kids, they seem to get it better. The idea that you have to have kids to understand that kids can make for changes is Bull. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/6/2009 6:07:50 AM |
I'm a single mother and I have to say that I don't want a single father. I also understand guys who dont want a single mother. For me, my schedule is pretty hectic so it wouldnt make sense for me to go out with someone who has the same hectic schedule that having kids brings, because we would hardly see each other. Secondly, I am concious of 'The Ex' floating in the background like an unseen deity, and I feel it would be odd as I would have tremendous respect for her, whilst also feeling threatened. I think love is hard enough to get off the ground without situations like that.
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Couldn't have said it better myself 
I think the only way I'd date a single father is if his kids were grown/out of the house/away at college.
At this point in my life I don't want anymore 'baby-mama-drama'. I've had enough to last a lifetime... | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:56:38 AM | Not all guys have baby mamma drama.I guess I'm blessed. :)
There are pros and cons to both. And a bang of stereotypes in this thread. I've met cool childless women and cool women with children. And yes I have a prefrence. I prefer the woman that loves and respects me. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:50:52 PM | Well as a single mother, I've given up dating men without children they tend to be self centered, but no single dads have come forward wanting any part of my life. Is it that men with kids love their own but arn't interested in other men's kids. that's my mothers opinion and so far I have to agree!
Sue | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/7/2009 1:27:12 PM | | For me, it's more about the fact that I love my daughter more than anything. And I don't think that I could love any other children as much as I love my own daughter. And I personally would never want to put a child in that position. So I don't date single fathers. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:58:02 PM | | fair comment but its about treating all equally, obviously a mother is not going to love someone elses children the same as someone elses its a different bond totally.Same applies both ways its all about effort and it takes more effort where children are involved alot more infact.Its a case of my child wouldnt do that or this i guess, not that you'd say it out loud but its in your mind regardless, not that im digging you for it.... | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:17:22 PM | | well first i have to say i'm a mother of three, and i would rather date a man that is a father, because they understand more about being a parent and the difficultys it brings. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:05:58 AM | I would welcome a single father with children...they would understand the hectic day to day struggles that we as women gothrough. I have dated men (not all are alike) without children and they really don't understand what a mother goes through on a daily basis...even though some swear that they do, lol
I let the single fathers and or single men no right off the bat I am not willing to have anymore children (i have had 7 children (4 out and 3 in the house) and am now raising 2 grandchildren and a third grandchild may be in the picture real soon) so if they have children that means there are more children to love without having to go through pregnancy and birth AGAIN, LOL And if they don't have children ..... if they are the "one "meant for me then they can love the ones that I have and if not then it's there loss not mine.....
So for all the single fathers.............bring it on................The More the Merrier (just as long as I don't have to give birth again, lol) | |
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