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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/10/2009 10:17:18 PM | Speaking just for myself and being totally honest here. My kids are now grown, but when they were young I never dated men with kids and the reason why was because their father did such a number on them that I didn't want my kids to ever have to have any competition with other kids... My kids always came first and honeslty at that point in my life I know I could never love another child as much as my own and it wouldn't be fair to a mans kids... So I took the high road.
Again.... this is totally honest and speaking just for myself. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/10/2009 11:57:22 PM | | I would love to find 'mr. right, single dad' because they 'get it' in terms of what it means to have a kid (as opposed to those who don't. Yes, it's work and thew world of 'fun' takes on a whole new dimension.) Unfortunately the parents I've met are basically looking for a mom/babysitter--someone who's going to take on the cooking, cleaning, nurturing, organizing while 'holding her own'--perhaps because they need a break from it all themselves. While I empathise, the other parent must realise I'm also a single parent. My struggle runs as deep too. It would be great to meet the guy who's into it 50/50 as that's what the day calls for. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:31:29 PM | Single fathers are great...but they run to fast!  It would be nice to be the one being chased tho!
Maybe they don't meet single parents because, well.....they're single parents meeting single parents...we all have schedules! I think you have to be able to plan for time away, sometimes you have to compromise. You have to make the time!
When you find the right person and join families it has to seem easier....lol.......right? | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:35:18 AM | I actually dont agree with that statment of single mothers NOT wanting single fathers. I am a single mom of a 15 year old daughter and I PREFER dating men with kids. Especially if they are raising them. For different reasons, they know bout children themselves. You get to see them interact with thier own children. and it seems to me, they are more family oriented. Another reason is I want more children to parent. I LOVE being a mom and cant have anymore children of my own. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:52:22 AM | | u got it in one there mate. they seem to want a fella to take on their kids. but run a mile when you say you are a single parent. wot is it do they think that men arent capable of bringing up kids. i have all daughters and they have turned out great. either in or heading for college. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:48:52 AM | From experience... I dont typically have a problem dating single dads. Never have both my Husbands had their own children when we got married. My son's dad was killed a yr ago and his daughter to this day still comes to my home and spend weekends with us. So with that said... the only time Ive ever had a problem is when I see disrupt, misbehaved, disrespectful children and the dad just lets them do whatever.
1.) I dont want my child picking up on the behaviors, Ive worked hard as have alot of single parents molding their children to become something. To have morals, respect and a good sense of self.
2.) I dont expect you to treat mine as yours, he has a father and his dad was a damn good man. However, I will not tolerate you being ugly to my child as I would never be ugly to yours. Ive seen this many times..... the wicked stepparent syndrome. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:06:59 PM | Im a single mum and would if anything prefer to date a single Dad than a guy who has no commitments and no idea what parenting is all about, As a parent, the majority of decisions made about life include the interests of our kids before anything, a single father is more likely to be able to be sympathetic and understanding about the matter than a guy with no kids.... So I guess what I'm saying is that Single Dads get a huge thumbs up from me  xxx | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:18:35 PM | | I'm a single mother and I would actually prefer to date a single father. I've dated a few non-parents and they don't understand that my little girl comes first. She has a few health problems, so I don't do babysitters just for dates. I can only go out when she's with her daddy, which only happens every couple weeks, or when I can bring her along, which as someone already pointed out, is much easier when there are other children involved for her to play with. So, I don't see anything wrong with dating a single father, except that we would probably never have time to do anything lol. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/20/2009 6:34:31 PM | Here is my never humble opinion:
Some Men view kids as little adults that will have their own life some day when they grow up. They allow those little adults their individuality and they respect independance.
Some Women view kids like they do most everything else; as a posession... They must POSESS the man and everything to do with him. SO when a single father has children at home, he is harboring the property of "the other woman" especially if the mother is still involved in their lives. She wants "clear title" on you... If the father is a widower he has a little better chance, but just having those kids there, poses a threat to the woman. You know how they say: "Two woman can't live under the same roof?" That applies in any degree, no matter how small, to some Woman...
I speak from experience. My second wife (not in my profile TMI) could not deal with it, or rather "HER" in any degree. Plus I made it clear from the start that the kids (both hers and mine) come first. And no woman can deal with not being number one. My mistake...
So I guess that is the bottom line. If you have kids at home, she knows she will not be NUMBER ONE. And I suspect for some woman it is better to rule in hell than serve in Heaven? But thats just my NH opinion... Conserning "some women"... Definately not all. There are some real Angels out there, so don't give up hope, dude... | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:47:43 PM | hi this is my first post on any forum on here so be gentle :)
in my opinion you just havent found the right lady.
There are some ladys out there that have their own children and will gladly invole your own as you would hers, its just a matter of time ;)
I totally know where your coming from , keep your chin up :D | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:28:49 PM | | seriously, I'm not trying to be mean. I'm in the same boat. You all, including myself need to face facts. Some men and women AREN'T going to dating a single parent and there is nothing wrong with that. Don't dwell on it, just go out there, be yourself and meet your future love. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/22/2009 4:39:25 PM | Hmmmm. Sooooo you think you have it rough- I know --you do! However let me dovetail into your plight. I am 50 something with a 5 YO daughter and a 7 YO son...and as all of our children are >> they are intelligent and beautiful. When I get an email or return email from my age group (apparently only the 40's see it differently--generally speaking)I read variations of...."been there done that and time for me to move on"....move on to where with whom???
HOWEVER what I also hear from friends, both male and female is this...his/ her kids are grown and out of the house but he/ she still gives them money, always watching their kids for shopping, errands, friends parties, etc. Then there is no time for me on Holidays- he/ she is with family (and so am I); or he/she must see grandkids play soccer, baseball, parties, baller, take them to practice, etc.
MAYBE if they thought about it they are havingthe same challenge but they will not be mother-housekeeper-maid-etc.
I have 50/50 shared custody (major accomplishment and expenses) ....they don't realize that we have every other weekend off, several week days, vacations, etc.
I dono...but it is the hand I chose to be delt and WE would have it no other way....both for us single moms and dads!!! SINGLE PARENTS RULE ( -:. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/22/2009 5:26:53 PM | How weird...I feel like so many men, including single fathers, don't want to get involved too seriously with a single mother. That has been my experience. They seem to want to keep their lives seperate and seem to have unreasonable expectations (i.e. they'd like to meet a woman with no kids or who can pawn them off at the drop of a dime, probably because they are a part-time dad as it is and don't want the real responsibility/obligation is my guess). I'm a single mother of 3 kids and there is no dad around at all. It sucks because for some reason, the men I meet seem to want to seperate the package; not that I expect them to become daddy overnight or anything...so many men also complain about the "baby mommas looking for a baby daddy" as well...if I'm not mistaken, most of us are of child bearing age and we've all had failed relationships/marriages, so often times, we come packaged. So many negative attitudes.
That's awesome though, papi, that you are taking good care of your kids...hats off to you :-)
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:00:54 PM | I do not disagree with your comment . I will say however when married she left the house at 5:30am and w/o all the details I WAS Mr MOM. when the judge said to me when I wanted full custody "what make you believe you can now raise your children"....my lawyer rolled her eyes because she new what was coming....and after my reteric I received shared and equal custody and joint custodial parent. Would have it no other way. Although I havent dated very much.
About pushing children on another woman-wont even address that except to say I and certainly other dads can afford a sitter, housekeeper, and when / if necessary a nanny for a weeks vacation>>>then there is always their mom for the week vacation if I chose to go with another woman.
I AM however uncertain when/ if would be the proper time to introduce my children to another woman. Don't want to offend her by keeping that part of my life separate, but as you pointed out dont want her to think I need her to help with the children....and yet dont want the children to get close to someone who may be gone in time.
Dont need an answer....all in good time....if in time at all. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:14:46 PM | I'll admit, I didn't read all 12 pages of this before I hit the reply button.
I've found it exceptionally difficult to find a date having kids. I'm a 26 year old father of two, and we have a great life together. I came into the situation that I'm in when I was 24. However, I've primarily found the problem to be that women in my age range are not interested in having a family just yet, they're still partying, as the having children age seems to have moved to late 20's to mid 30's. And women view a relationship with a man with children, as the immediate potential to have a family. At least the women I know and am around.
Not saying that there aren't those women out there. And not saying I don't go out and get down, but still, they seem to be hiding from me...
Or the fact that i'm 26, bald, have a mortgage, work a real 9-5 job, and know the meaning of the word "responsibility". | |
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