| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:45:46 AM | I would date a single dad if he did not have 2-3-4 children with different moms , it just dosnt sit right with me. I would think that the single mom may not want the baby momma drama that may come along with the dad & kids, just like some men would not date a women with kids for the daddy drama. I would only date the guy if his kids liked me & i liked them no need to be the drama myself.
my 2cents | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 12:33:26 PM | Could not agree more, I have 2 daughters (9 & 5) and find it almost impossible to meet a female who wants to date a guy with kids.....!
Not sure why, but it seems to be the case.. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 1:00:55 PM | | well I am a single father of 2, and was just seeing someone who had two daughters as well for 3 months, shes just ended it as she doesnt know how she feels thats the story of my life at the moment, everytime I get close to someone they back off and its usually because of the commitments I have, so am beginning to think being a single dad is a no no for women in general, tell me if I am wrong though :S | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:47:05 PM | I would prefer to date a guy with kids!! They can understand where your coming from and you have more in common.
thats my opinon anyway!
i cant seem to meet any guys at all, no-ones single! | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:51:17 PM | | 'anything less than great' just won't do for a single professional, who has been careful and responsible enough not to have kids yet, (aside from the 30 who are in my care to educate everyday); it doesn't make someone superior because they have children, you know, but it comes across as if you think it does, or that they deserve more from a relationship but that certainly isn't true. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:09:49 PM | | I think thats a very harsh view I had my two children with my ex wife and was a professional at the time, I wouldnt ever think that I deserve more from a relationship because I have children but I do still want one that is meaningful and where someone will actually want me back | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:42:38 PM | | Im a single mother and I share the opinion of many of the other posters I would prefer a single dad to a man that doesnt have children or does and doesnt see them. A single dad would be more understanding in knowing that life and kids can be unpredictable most men I have met who havnt got kids expect themselves to come before the kids and thats just not gonna happen my kids are my life and theyll always come first and im sure single dads feel the same way about theirs | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 6:28:51 PM | I know myself I fall into a category, where to get in a long term relationship, I need to find a guy who likes kids, but doesn't necessarily want to have any (more). Single fathers tend to fit that bill.
And I love the one comment about 'being responsible enough' to have waited to have kids. Because, you know, EVERYONE who is a single parent MUST have gone out and gotten, or gotten someone, knocked up all willy nilly. There couldn't possibly be people who got married, had kids, then had their marriage fall apart sometime after. Nope, never happens. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:41:45 PM | | I don't get that. When I set back and view my life as it is today,I just don't see that a relationship could be a successful one if I were to be with a man that didn't at least have children. I'm in a routine that involves work and my infant and anything else just isn't all that important. Now if I met a man that had children (and was at least taking responsibility for them) and what would be really cool would be that he was the custodial parent,things I feel would just fall more easily in to place and we would have more in common and a better understanding of what each other's going through. Now wouldn't that just make more sense. I think that what it is;is that were all so caught up in the mainstream routine that we don't get to see what's out there. Why the hell you think that I'm on this network???????????????????????? | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:46:15 PM | I really feel that the comment he made was in reference to the fact that kids are such a blessing that he's not quite sure why people like you view them as "less than perfect"
just cause you don't have kids doesn't make you "smarter" or "better". It makes you short one blessing in life. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/2/2008 3:10:26 PM | | i don't view them as 'less than perfect', i have to teach and be responsble for 32 every single day, (which is a big responsibility). I put them first in everything. I just don't like comments that seem to refer to you as inadequate in some way because you don't have kids of your own, and that a relationship should be worth less to you. It just isn't true. That person said "you're one short blessing in life", but you can't comment on someone's situation like that. Many people are not able even to have children and they have to make their life full of blessings in any case. i think that comments like that, ie, 'you're one short blessing in life', are cruel and said to make themselves feel better. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/2/2008 3:37:12 PM | | I personaly wouldn't mind dating a single father. My son is still young and I go next to nowhere without him. It would be nice to meet someone who understands and wouldn't mind our fist date being a trip to zoo lol. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/2/2008 4:11:06 PM |
Many people are not able even to have children and they have to make their life full of blessings in any case. i think that comments like that, ie, 'you're one short blessing in life', are cruel and said to make themselves feel better.
That I understand, and you're right. I know I don't consider myself better than anyone for having had kids.
But there does seem to be a prevailing idea amongst a lot of people that to wind up raising one or more kids on your own means that you have some way been irresponsible. Circumstances are different from case to case. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/3/2008 1:57:17 AM | | im sorry you haven't found any one yet...but i dont agree i have 2 little girls and i would have more as long as i could support them all financaly, mentaly and have a caring partner to do it with. There are alot of blended families these days . i also know of a lot of single guys and girls who r open to taking on partners with kids. maybe its the people you are meeting because i strongly disagree. goodluck and its great to hear someone else putting there children first. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/6/2008 1:44:07 PM | First of all, i like to say like many others did, welcome to the wonderful world of being a single parent. I personaly prefer someone who already had kids, because we can relate to one other, than a person who doesn't. but i was feeling the same as you. i have to wait until my kids grow up, before i can find that special someone. so hang in there. i know i am  | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/6/2008 2:38:02 PM | I will tell you exactly why, because it happend to me and thankfully I got out of the situation before it got worse!
When women have children it is easier for the man to come into the picture because the woman naturally takes care of the children and the man really doesn't have to put forth that much effort. When the man has a child as well as the woman, the woman feels neglect for her own child when the absent or (mans other child) comes into the picture. My ex had a son whom lived 5 hrs from us and every time he came to visit my ex would ignore me and my son the entire time. He didn't realize what he was doing but it was enough to upset me. We were engaged and called off our marriage because of this. His son was also a holy terror and he wanted to be the friend not the parent which sent me over the edge. He was in my house and I had no control. I loved the man, but had issues with the child. I had to realize that the child will always be a part of his life and I might not so.... In conclusion I do not believe that this is the case in every situation, because I am dating a man whom has a child right now, but I do believe that it is all in how you handle it. If you would make it understood that if you were going to except the responsibility of the womens children and not neglect them when yours come around you might be able to get somewhere.
****Remember this...My ex a very smart man explained it to me like this. A woman is like a lioness she will kill anything that trys to mess or hurt her cubb and will not except another lioness' cubb even if it is an orphan. Face it, it is just human nature until you learn to deal with it. Fortuantly I HAVE, but the hard way! | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/6/2008 9:53:19 PM | You just must be looking in all the wrong places. . . I am a single mom and I would much rather have a single father as my companion because you will understand some of the trials and errors I go through on a daily basis!
Heather | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:28:16 AM |
I'm clearly in the minority, but I would rather date someone without children, even though I have a daughter.
I don't want to deal with the extra drama and baggage that kids & exes bring. Maybe that makes me a hypocrit or selfish, but it's honest.
Yes, it does. And it says a ton about your character. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:38:49 AM | This has been my experience in the time since my divorce.
I meet a woman, let her know upfront about my time commitment to my daughter (I have her for a full week on alternating weeks) and that in the beginning, until I am ready for them to meet - that things will have to proceed very slowly (my ex has new people in her life all the time so I am extra cautious in this regard).
Things appear to be great, but by the 3rd to 5th date I have;
Been told "now that we are getting serious, I expect your daughter to go live with her mother full time" (this was said by a woman who had 3 kids of her own).
Been told that since I wouldn't introduce my daughter to her, that I must be hiding something / am still married / seeing several people.
Been told that I was being unfair and not devoting enough time to the relationship (despite talking on the phone nightly after my daughter is in bed).
I believe that a good portion of the female population does have a double standard in this area (it comes from society not valuing dads as highly as moms). Most want a "guy who takes care of his kid if he has them" but only so far as that it means he sends them a check every month and only sees them every other weekend so that he can devote all his attention on the woman. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 7:56:26 AM | hi heather,
I agreed with you - it is sad most men/ladies on these site dont do packages.
Any person who has kids will know how hard it is to sort your family out and then its time for fun as a single working mum of a 3 year old it is hard trying to get that "person" who understands and would love to date another "single" parent | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 1:17:27 PM | | I just wanted to say that I would prefer to date a man who like myself was a single parent one who can understand that there are some mothers who do not prefer to drop their child off with a sitter toi just date excessively, one who understand sthat there are committed parents out here who work from home so that they themselves can raise their own child, without having to worry about their caregiver. I am actually seeking a single dad, that is just my preference, because guys who have no children or were never married cannot even begin tounderstand what we single parents endure from day to day. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 3:45:00 PM | Not all women are like that, I prefer myself, to meet someone that has children. I have a 19 year old son who has moved out on his own, and I married a man when my son was 12, that had no children, that my friend is where alot of our problems lay.
So don't give up on women, it doesn't matter to the genuine woman whether a man has children or not. Those that don't care for it, well, what do you think.
Take Care, and good luck. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 4:13:04 PM |
It's in the Single Parent handbook, page 7.
Ummmm can I get a copy of that book please!! I've been a single mom since 03 when I adopted my son out of CPS care. Long story if you wanna know ask. But went from single w/no kid to mommy of 10 month old over night. That book could come in handy somedays. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 4:24:42 PM |
Now i don't know if I even want to introduce a man to my kids until we're heading for the church! i'm so afraid they're going to get hurt again and i don't want to ever see that happen again.
Oh my gosh its this such a hard core fact. I've have introduced my son to 2 guys in my dating life, both of which I had known over a year and was pretty serious with (different times btw, I'm a one guy at a time kinda girl) But my son is only 5 and will make comments like... Will so and so really be here this time? grrrr I don't care what happens between us if we don't work out, but don't hurt my kid. Thats just the protective mommy in me I guess. | |
|
| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 4:28:11 PM | It's a number of issues that keeps Women away from us single dads. I can't name them all, but one of the biggest things I was told is....We're looking for the "new" Mom to come in. Many are not aware of our new skills with kids. I was raised in a home with 7. I was the eldest child of my Mom. She suddenly became a single Mom when I turned 8 years of age. She had to leave my father due problems with violence from him.
Anyway--as a an 11 year old I had to learn to cook food. Small meals at first, then by 12, 13 and 14-I was in the kitchen still learning-but many meals was an easy thing to do. Washing clothes-I did most of the time-since my sister devised a plan to mess up everything she did (she did it on purpose) Trust me-she paid for it in her later years. She is 1 yr behind me in age(49). Yet she just learned to cook at about 33.
Since this time with my Army knowledge all behind me. I have learned a great deal and helps me greatly with my raising of the boys. It has gotten me in a position that many Women know-they've got to come real. In my culture(race) it's getting bad. Lazy Women with bad habits. Kids they are raising-- I have seen all too many times-I am dealing with many of the so called "misfits". Yet-we Men who have kids--they feel we have a issue they can't deal with...Don't sweat it. Do what a lot of Men are doing. Get your passport, hop on a plane and go to the philippines, japan, indonesia and few other palces for that old fashioned type of Woman. Many would be sooo happy to do what our American Women are not doing... Trust me-they will take notice quick...LL | |
|
Home
login 
