| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 5:51:40 PM | | Well theres an idea my uncle who I have A great deal of respect for said the exact same thing,After being married to one vishice women,I'm starting to think thats not A half bad idea.Alot of men want alot of women to have around as play things but theres still alot of men that want A real women.Remember when you always heard the term be A real man It seems that has changed to real women,this day and age | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/7/2008 6:45:53 PM | | I have to agree with you. When I started dating again I thought a man who was a devoted dad to his kids would be a great selling point. All I have found is women, with or without kids, looking for Mr. GQ to satisfy their ego and the things that you might be attractive are called baggage. I am not bitter but if I read one more profile complaining about guys who are only interested in sex I am gonna heave. LOL | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/8/2008 7:06:32 AM | im a single mum of four kids, and three live with me, id be quite happy dating a single dad as i feel they would understand the situation and sometimes how difficult it can be tryin to have some individual time as an adult, ie meeting a potential bf or gf and getting a break as well as i dont have any family and mi friends dont live nearby | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:01:16 AM | I know I'm older than most of you...I'm raising my grandson. 
But I actually put in my profile once that I preferred to date someone who was or had been a single parent. I feel they can better understand the issues/struggles a single parent faces. I've tried dating a few men who haven't been in that situation and the ones I dated felt that my life should revolve totally around them regardless of other obligations. In fact, they were willing to make accomodations for my job, but not for my child. Something is just plain wrong there.
So, I'm in the camp that I'd much prefer someone who knows where I'm coming from as a single parent.
As to the men looking for sex issue....you should be a woman on one of these sites for a month!!! You may be amazed at the number of men approaching women looking for just that and only that. And married men. It is not our imagination. A friend of mine just got a phone call from a wife of a guy she had been dating for several weeks. It is very common. So, if you are a genuine guy, give us a break. Understand that as a single mom we not only have to protect ourselves from the jerks, but our kids as well. It is a dangerous world. Please be patient with us. We do not know you when you approach us and we have already been approached by dozens of not very nice men, and maybe one or two nice ones at most. So please, take time to get to know us. We are only protecting our kids.
Thanks for listening! | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:47:45 AM | | Im a single parent, and I would actually prefer to date someone who has a child! Just because they understand more what its like to be a parent and whats possible and whats not etc! I dont think I want anymore children so it would be better to marry someone who already has children so the family would be complete. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 3/9/2008 1:23:14 PM | | As a single mom who shares parenting 50/50 with my kids father. I have dated men with and without kids. I personally perfer those without kids. Because I know it is easier for us to meet and plan dates. I want someone who can devote speecific time to just me. In that area I am a little selfish and don't want to share my man with anyone. I have been trying to go out with a guy for the past couple of months. We live in the same town and we both have kids. Our first date was this past Sunday and it was great. We really connected and we talked about going out again this weekend. Well I haven't heard from him since last Wed. I know he works and has the kids but to hear absolutely nothing is not my ballgame. Just want and desire to be loved and pampered. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/9/2008 11:19:38 AM | The trick to dating a single parent is being creative with the time you *do* have to spend together.
I've dated single fathers and single DADS - There's a difference. I prefer the single Dads.
If it ain't broke don't fix it - If you're happy, even if you're schedules and lives are unconventional in nature .... Enjoy it!  | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 10/9/2008 5:41:03 PM | | i was a single father with 2 kids and i started dating a single mum with 1 we did get serious enough to meet each others kids and became a family we were together for 11 years after that and had 5 more so not all women wont date a single father i dont think dating has changed that much though for me now to being ready to date again i know it will be harder for me to find someone who wants to take a chance and date me not because im a single father because i think a lot of women would date single fathers but just because of how many i have living with me now the fact i now have 7 living with me is what would give most women second thoughts about dating me but i beleve given time i will find someone even if its a few years from now and some of my kids may have moved on to there own places by then but i would not give up looking just because a few wont take a chance keep trying you will meet someone someday | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 5:31:37 PM | well single mums should be with the single fathers they are a made match in heaven no guys dont want to date single mums as they have high hopes of dating a guy without children and alot of single guys would pass single mums up theres guys out the prefer to have family with the right single childless woman and the single mums and dads make the best couple has they have the self made brady bunch family | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 6:45:14 PM | When I became a mother, my world shifted. I refer to my life as bk (before kids) and ak(after kids). BK I was impulsive and enjoyed doing things on the spur of the moment. I approached new relationships without a care in the world. It was easy to find a man to date. I had an active social life. AK I can't do anything on the spur of the moment, I have to make plans. I approach new relationships with a lot more care because what I do in my life does not just affect me anymore, it also impacts on my children for better or worse.
When I meet men, I definately prefer if they are involved fathers because there is already an understanding between us about what being a parent entails. BK I was involved with a single father and it was a great relationship that ended for reasons unrelated to his child. I didn't need it to be explained to me what being a parent entailed then so I know there are probably more than a few men who are not fathers who do understand. I am not offended by those who choose not to date single moms, it is a preference they have. I am not having any more children so I would not want to "force" any man to give up his dreams of having his own little mini-mes.
So OP, only some single moms will not date single dads. Certainly two single parents dating brings the potential complexity of blending families but life is full of challenges, you are either the type to meet life's challenges head on or not. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 7:17:29 PM | The drama is key. Most women know that a guy who has kids (especially full custody single dads like me) there is the worry of "mamma drama." I don't have that issue, but I know women look down on single dads for that reason.
Head up.....kids are what is important, our own happiness comes second. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 7:55:20 PM | Well from what I have read from so many single mothers, it's because their ex's are to blame for the situation they are in. So complaining to a man in the same situation wouldn't work out well! It's not easy to keep up the victim roll when your talking to the accused!
I found several woman that had no problem when I was raising my daughter completely on my own. Then again I found several that seemed bothered by it. It was all good though. My daughter said she didn't care much for them either!  | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 8:04:29 PM | Momma drama doesn't bother me one bit....it is not "HIS" fault if momma has issues. If momma brought her drama to me, she would get an earful from me and probably be less inclined to do it again.
I go through bouts of drama brought to my door....it is not my fault. I also choose not to bring someone into my life until it is resolved although I do think if he saw there was someone in my life, most of the drama woul d come to a grinding halt since I don't seem to intimidate my bully enough. Might need a big strong man to stand beside me
hey Rock man...whatcha doin tomorrow? lol | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 8:18:51 PM |
hey Rock man...whatcha doin tomorrow? lol
Sorry but I'm leaving on a 2400 mile drive in the morning. Have some court issues to deal with over child support back east. Then it's 2400 miles back home. The good thing is I get to see my two daughters and their families. Grand children are the bomb.
I will be meeting my youngest's new hubby and his children for the first time.
I will be free some time after the first though...lmao! | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 8:53:32 PM | | well personally... I would prefer to meet a single dad... Im a single mom of two and they are my life... I find things different when he has no children... it makes me nervous because I dont know how he will be toward my children.... If I found someone who respected my family and the needs of children, I would not care if he had eight of his own. Keep looking you will find somone who feels the same. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 9:11:31 PM | I have dated single (kid-less) men. That is what got me where I am :). I have dated single parents. The difference I find is experience in life and respect. The kid-less don't understand how it ( a relationship) can fall apart and there seems (to me) to be the unanswered "what did you do" (not all relationships have been this way, but a few have). There isn't the understanding of a previous relationship to define the following one. I guess children can bring a family either to it's knees or to a stronger understanding (if not a stronger relationship).
I've never been married. I have attempted to work together with my ex for the benefit of my child, and found our interests differed here. I have dated a man (kid-less) older than me hoping to find that responsibility and it ended really horribly. One of my children has never met his father because of this.
Ironically, one man is not used to measure all.
I discovered that I had a great deal of enjoyment from dating men that had children (grown up or not). There is a greater mutual respect and I don't fear the "I haven't had children yet" conversation. I don't want more children of my own, but I have never had a loving, responsible equal to share parenthood/life with and that may turn my decision around. I can't expect anything more than a hodge podge of children that are related by love before blood.
Isn't that what a family really is? People that see past differences and love each other?
I guess that in itself answers a question too, single parents are looking to date AND complete/ extend a family. That's a much tougher crap shoot than just finding a compatible partner. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/21/2009 10:27:31 PM | OP, I think in time like everything else you will find someone that doesn't mind you having 3 children.
For myself I raised 3 kids by myself and gave up a real dating life until they were much older but this was by choice.
Yes, I did manage to go to dinner once in a while with someone from the opposite sex and dated here and there but for the most part I put that part of my life on hold and i'm glad I did.
Nowadays, the kids are all adults, 2 married out of 3 and i've really been able to date without much thought for several years now.
Whether or not I ever get married again is a different story.
Best Wishes | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:37:43 AM | Yikes, first you are not meeting the right kind of women.
My story, met the almost perfect man for us. Me and my daughter, that is...
His ex is a mess. I dealt with that. His 17 yr. old daughter got pregnant, more than once, and he just goes with the flow. She moves in, moves out. Over and over again.
She goes to jail, on probation, steals from me, etc. He says she needs a 2nd chance. So? Like a dumb butt, I pay her bail to get her out. The poor man has to work so he leaves his 10 yr. old with the seventeen year old. Her bringing older guys in and smoking everything, and drinking..and again stealing..
I had to back out, we remain friends, but that lifestyle was not for me. We did talk marriage, he even proposed. Again, that is way too much drama for me. And it will not stop soon. Even his ex has pulled some things on me and my daughter..she had her boyfriend stalking us..scary stuff. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/22/2009 12:16:17 PM | | I myself have avoided dating any single fathers, probably because I don't want my son who is an 'only' child to feel as though he has to compete with any other children right now. At the same time I have also avoided letting the single men I have dated over the past year from meeting my son. Also just because someone does or doesn't have any kids doesn't mean you will have less or more in common with them! Also in defense of the single man without children, it doesn't mean they are any less of a man, but that they haven't ever met the right person and chose not to settle like the rest of us did at the time just because they wanted a family and children. So that's why this single mother is not overly drawn to dating single dads. My son is my life, but when he is not with me I enjoy talking and doing all of things I can't do when he is around and dating a single man without kids is very refreshing. :) | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/22/2009 12:28:22 PM | "Head up.....kids are what is important, our own happiness comes second."
I agree kids are always number one, but I don't agree that ones happiness comes second. You need to put your own happiness first in order to allow your children to feel and thrive off of it. Isn't that how most people become single parents- that is they stopped putting themselves first for there children and there spouse and lost themselves, becoming bitter, resentful and uncommunicative because they were so busy putting everyone else's needs ahead of there own....we know that doesn't benefit anyone...and that sometime the only way to rectify it is by leaving. I probably sound like a crazy woman, but I am a very Happy single mother and I guess having 50/50 custody is a really wonderful balance. When its my week he is my happiness and when its his fathers week I am my own happiness. :) I guess I'm very lucky- I should mention I never felt this way overnight, but after a year I had my existential moment and now we all benefit from it. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/22/2009 2:06:58 PM | | ditto juls; i am really only interested in single moms. I feel that the kids bring so much more into the relationship. Sure there are issues, but they are not "empty" like "what cruise line" should with try this time! LOL | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/23/2009 6:28:43 AM | Might just be me but...I highly doubt it. I would say a single Dad is one that has custody of his children. Not just a semi weekend Dad. The difference is clear. Us Single Mom's who have full custody, are full time Mom's...major difference.
Our lives must revolve around our children, if we are worth a crap.
I guess you can tell my ex does not parent, did not when we were together, and even less now, if that's possible. He has all the freedom.
In the end, I know it will all be worth it. Mom was there. Mom loved her. She can always count on me putting her needs first. If Mr. Right comes, he will be right for the both of us.. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/23/2009 8:38:05 AM | When ever I read threads like this, they seem heavily misogynistic.
Come on guys, you have to see the big picture, not just about what you want in a woman, but what you want for YOUR kids, what you want FOR your woman, and FOR her kids.
Not to mention what SHE is going to want for the same.
Just because you share the responsibility of raising kids on your own, doesn’t mean it’s automatically a match, or even an important kick start to a relationship.
You may have different parental techniques, different ideals you want to instill in your children.
I have found that I can be criticized for being too soft of too hard, too strict or too laid back.
If you want to raise your kids in a home with a foundation in a specific belief system and she has a different one, then you should really look at how that could affect a blended family.
What if she is free with the TV etc, but you have a limited TV rule with your kids.
What if your kids love peanut butter and hers are allergic?
I am not opposed to blended families, I am just saying, it’s friggin’ hard work that most people, men included, don’t want to deal with. | |
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| How come single mothers don't want single fathers
Posted: 2/23/2009 9:20:02 AM | Very well stated kevman........meshing families together is TOUGH business!!!
Some parents just don't want the hassle (or potential hassle) of having to integrate their children with someone else's. The more people you add to a relationship, the more difficult it can (potentially) become. | |
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