| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 9:43:26 AM | Women our age don't want sex w/ another guy who's not into a relationship w/ them. They've all been talked into that situation before by a guy who led them to believe otherwise.
Guys our age don't want a relationship w/ another woman who's not into enjoying sex with them. They've all been talked into that situation before by a woman who led them to believe otherwise.
Seems like we're at an impasse here! 
Which is worse (given our advanced age) losing a long weekend to find out he only wanted sex....or losing several years to find out she only wanted a relationship?  | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 10:23:08 AM | OK fellas. I can most certainly see and understand your thoughts.
Let me set up this scenario then?
You have been chatting with a gal for a time, online and on telephone. You meet up.
There is a very very definate sexual chemistry going on. You show the gal you have the interest in taking it further, so she takes you up on it. Great sex, super sex even!
Now, the day after. Are you thinking she is a hoe for having sex with you the first time you meet? Would you call her again with the intent of getting to know her better? Or would you simply let that go by the wayside as you have classed her as too easy? See this issue here? | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 10:26:02 AM | Thanks, Word!
I'm not sure that I know the answer, (since both scenarios can happen to either sex), but:
At the end of the first, I'll probably need a band-aid for my ego.
At the end of the second I'll probably need dentures.
Moon ~ I've been chatting for a while, so there must be intellectual chemistry or I wouldn't agree to a date....now's there's extreme chemistry AND great sex?
That's pretty much a perfect mixture for building an emotional bond. Hell yes, I'm calling her again.
Easy? Hoe? I'm pretty sure there were TWO people in that equation. I don't fit into those categories, so why would she?
Geez - the only thing I'm going to wonder about is how recently she's had the prescription for her eyeglasses updated. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 10:44:31 AM | OK fellas. I can most certainly see and understand your thoughts.
Not a "fella" but here are my thoughts:
If there was undeniable and exceptional chemistry, heck yes, I would have sex on the first date, especially if I had the chance to develop a connection and felt no threat being alone with him.
I think this type of understanding comes with age and maturity, when we shed the accepted social restraints and become free.
The main thing is, I really don't care what people may say, I have earned the right to do what I think is right for me, providing no one gets hurt in the process. What 'HE" does after, will have no bearing on my decision.
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 11:07:02 AM | | Sure it would be great to hit the sack on the first date, what man would really turn that down well probably more than you may think. Even after e-mail and phone conversation, do you really know someones likes and dislikes? Me I would rather err on the side of Caution, to soon could ruin a really good thing. This is just my Opinion mind you. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 11:36:05 AM | Moon Child 48, I've been called a ho and a slut by my ex-wife because she is privy to my new lifestyle. It started out with a lot of promiscuity. Now, after several months, I've settled down. I have a FWB, whose chemistry and raw sensuality caused us to sleep together the first evening we dated (we had met at Starbuck's the day before). And you want to know what happened? We became best of friends. I have been spending about three nights a week at her place, she a couple nights a week at mine.
So in answer to your questions:
I don't think she's a ho. We both claim to be nymphos however.
I did call her again with the intent to get to know her much better.
She is no more easy than I am
How does that answer fit your preconceived expectations? | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 11:47:25 AM | Hey Word? They are not MY preconceived anything darlin! lol
We each and every one of us, conduct ourselves in a manner that suits our needs and be damned to what anyone else thinks. We are adults after all are we not? But there is just such a "social stigma" attached to gals who sometimes take full advantage of an opportunity when it presents... | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 12:06:44 PM | | Moon Child 48, no stigma here. If you ever get a hold of a song by Jerry Jeff Walker called TRASHY WOMEN you'll see a description of my sentiments exactly! At least in these my twilight years. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 12:11:32 PM | "TRASHY WOMEN"
As recorded by Jerry Jeff Walker - Words & Music By Chris Wall
Well [G]I was raisedÊ in a soph[D]isticated kind of [G]style
But my taste in music and women drove my folks half [D]wild
[C]Mom and [D]Dad had a plan [G]for me, it was debu[C]tantes and symphonies
But [G]I like my music [D]hot I like my women [G]wild
Hey I like my women just a [D]tad on the trashy [G]side
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is [D]dyed
[C]Too much lipstick and t[G]oo much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me [C]feeling confused
[G]Yeah I like my women just a [D]tad on the trashy [G]side
Well you should have seen the look on the faces of my Dad and Mom
When I showed up at the door with my date for the senior prom
They said, "Pardon us son, she ain't no kid,
That's a****ail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig"
I said, "I know it Dad, ain't she cool?Ê That the kind I dig."
Hey well I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is died
Too much lipstick and too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
Hey I like my women just a tad on the trashy side.Ê (When they wear them High Heels!)
Yeah, I like 'em sweet.Ê I like 'em with a heart of gold
Hey I like 'em brassy.Ê I like 'em brazen and bold.
They say opposites attract, but I don't agree
I need a woman as tacky as me
Hey I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
Yeah well I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
When they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed
Too much lipstick and too much rouge
Gets me excited, leaves me feeling confused
Hey I like my women just a tad on the trashy side
Yeah, I like my women just a tad on the trashy side. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:06:47 PM | I am 48. The men that I have dated over 60 are pretty much only interested in a no strings physical relationship. Most have had a bad marriage or two, and just basically want to play! They have friends and a full life, interests, and are basically loooking for a low maintenence sex partner that won`t interfere with the rest of their life. The problem is that they don`t all come out with this information right away. Some tell you what you want to hear to get what they want quickly. But yeah, alot of older men just want quick sex on the first date, assume that is what dating is, and will get agitated , aggressive and even frightening when they see that they aren`t going to get it. So now I carry pepper spray on all dates, won`t let them see where I live, won`t be alone with them, won`t get in a car with them.
If a man asks me to have dinner with him, I assume he is asking for sex, and will normally turn down all offers unless he seems interesting to me. Then if I do agree,
I do discuss a disclaimer that this is dinner, not sex, and I fully intend to pay my own way. So , yes you do have to be very frank with them from the start that they won`t be getting sex, and even then they may still try. If they get grabby with you in public, get up and leave.
Once in a while you will meet a gentleman, but they are far and few between. I`m sorry to have to report this, but it is the way things are now.
I was asked to dinner last night by an older man and turned him down. Company would have been nice, I get lonely. But you know that if man is asking you out, he is thinking about getting sex. If it is someone you wouldn`t even consider, he would view it as a waste of time to lead him on. So then I don`t go.
I have found this behavior much worse with men over 55. I think they have been burnt a few times and just don`t care. So I am very careful before accepting a date. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:23:45 PM | Here we go again with life according to pop songs.
Seriously though, many people seem to loose their self esteem by the time they end a few relationships badly. They then don't love themselves any more so they don't expect anyone else to. It is a bit of a bad circle lifestyle. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:27:33 PM | "Are there dating rules for us Boomers?"
I have only one ruke when it comes to dating.
I won't date any woman that is stupid enough to date me. It does present quite the quandary don't you think?
OP at your age you should be making your own damn rules to live by. You are well past the age of consent!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:27:59 PM | merry0709, your disclaimer put me in mind of an old Chris Rock stand up routine:
Chris Rock - No Sex (in The Champagne Room) Lyrics
No Sex (in The Champagne Room)
featuring Gerald Levert
[Chris Rock]
Ladies and gentlemen.. of the G.E.D. class of 1999
I have one piece of advice for you
No matter what a stripper tells you
There's no sex in the Champagne Room.. NONE!
Oh there's CHAMPAGNE in the Champagne Room
But you don't want champagne.. you want sex
And there's NO sex.. in the Champagne Room
Don't go to parties with metal detectors
Sure it feels safe inside; but what about
all those niggaz waitin outside with guns?
They know you ain't got one..
If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16.. she's 12
If she tells you she's 26, and LOOKS 26.. she's damn near 40
Take off that silly-ass hat
The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes
Coolio did some of that shit
Young black men -- if you go to a movie theater
and someone steps on your foot, let it SLIIIDE
Why spend the next twenty years in jail
cause someone smudged your Puma?
Cornbread -- ain't nuttin wrong with that
No matter what you think of what I'm sayin
Remember this one thing: there is no sex, in the Champagne Room
[Gerald Levert]
Ooooohh...
No sex in the Champagne Room (6X)
Absolutely, positively, no sex in the Champagnnnne, Room
No.. no-ohhhhh...
[Chris Rock]
If a homeless person.. has a funny sign..
he hasn't been homeless that long
A +REAL+ homeless person, is too hungry, to be funny
If a girl has a pierced tongue - she'll probably suck your****br> [Levert: That'd be great..]
If a guy has a pierced tongue - he'll probably suck your****br> [Levert: I don't want that, no..]
Here's a horoscope for everyone:
Aquarius: You're gonna die
Capricorn: You're gonna die
Gemini: You're gonna die TWICE
Leo: You're gonna die
Scorpio: You're gonna die f**kin
[Levert: Ohh yeah..]
No one goes to Hooters for wings
[Levert: No no no..]
If you've been dating a man for four months
and you haven't met any of his friends, you are NOT his girlfriend!
Some of the things I've said may not apply to you
Some of the things I've said may offend you
But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing
No matter what a stripper says
There's no sex in the Champagne Room
NONE
[Gerald Levert]
No sex in the Champagne Room
Said no sex in the Champagne Room
No sex in the Champagne Room
No no sex in the Champagne Room
No sex in the Champagne Room
Can't get none, uhh
Can't have none, nah
in the Champagne Room
Said there's absolutely, positively
no sex in the Champagne Room
Said no.. no..
Said no-ohhhh..
Said Chris said..
There ain't no sex
in the Champagne Room.. no.. no.. no..
Can't get none, ahh
Can't have none.. *fades* | |
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OLT4U
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Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 66 | |
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:46:15 PM |
I was hoping to hear from him again, and today I looked and he's deleted his profile!
Here's one that finally got smart. Get the hell off of here and get a life, is what he figured out. You were
the tipping point. Take pride.
Am I simply dating low-life jerks?
No, if this guy was a low life jerk he would have either forced himself on you or stormed out and left after your "heavy petting". He was a gentleman and left before he could tell you to stop getting the engine revved up if you're not going to shift the gears.
Here's the big secret. I'm only going to whisper it once....Yes, men want sex. Same as women do. (Come on, admit it.) That's the clue to understanding the male mind. If he thinks he might meet the actuary charts average death prior to getting close to you he's not going to hang around.
Women are the same way. I've had many first dates where the woman wants sex. Usually I don't go there, as much as it colors me balls blue, because I know that 1) I could be anybody and 2) that this will mean that I am obligated for a second date when one was more than enough. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:49:54 PM |
I am obligated for a second date when one was more than enough.
Am just curious? If one was more than enough, why would you even take the lady to bed?  | |
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OLT4U
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Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 68 | |
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:52:20 PM | merry0709:
If a man asks me to have dinner with him, I assume he is asking for sex, and will normally turn down all offers unless he seems interesting to me.
You might be certifiably crazy. What makes you think you are anybody's dessert? Laughable.
But you know that if man is asking you out, he is thinking about getting sex.
Well, of course. Somewhere down the line there might be the thought of sex. I'm glad you are careful
in accepting a date. The male sex does not need over exposure to you. | |
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OLT4U
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Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 69 | |
| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 1:54:22 PM | Dear Moonchild48,
You didn't read correctly. I will not go to bed with a woman I don't want to be with, BECAUSE it will usually mean an obligation for a second date, when the one, first date is enough. I keep it zipped. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 2:03:24 PM | Against my better judgment, please stop already with the Song Lyrics, and Comedy routines, OK.
And by the way those are copy written material, you have too have their OK to reprint any of it, and don't think no one is watching. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 2:24:12 PM | I have a rule against dating anyone who quotes pop songs, especially old ones.
I have a rule about staying far away from people who live their lives as per pop songs. I have come to the conclusion that some people actually believe in pop song lyrics the way religious people believe in religious writtings. Scary.
Too bad more people don't spend more time thinking about what makes sense according to their own knowledge. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 2:39:24 PM |
I have a rule against dating anyone who quotes pop songs, especially old ones.
I have a rule about staying far away from people who live their lives as per pop songs. I have come to the conclusion that some people actually believe in pop song lyrics the way religious people believe in religious writtings. Scary
Us regulars know you have a few rules that against just about every dating situation you might encounter and they seem to be working quite well now for years. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:05:01 PM | We wish there were hard fast rules and little boxes we could put everyone in but truth is there is not. The fact is that every man and every situation is different. The fact that this fella deleted his profile, quite possibly had nothing to do with you. You might have been the catalyst or the icing on the cake but chances are there were other things and other women that came into play.
Don't assume what people are thinking. Don't even try. Too much wasted effort is spent thinking about and trying to determine what some person who was in our life for a fleeting moment was thinking. A much better use of time would be to try to get know the new you.
After thirty years of marriage, thrust into the single life, you yourself are changing. You will discover new likes and dislikes and create a whole new way of thinking. Focus on that and stay true to yourself.
Men are just people. They are all different. They are not mysterious or mythical. To me the man that I get along best with is the one I can talk to without an effort. If I enjoy conversation with him, chances are I am going to enjoy other things with him. Sometimes it takes a little longer to determine if we can converse on a human to human level. We just have to wait it out.
It's usually worth it. | |
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