| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 5:24:34 AM | if a woman who is interested in a man likes him go dutch i do not know a lot of men today unless they are loaded = want to spend a few hundred bucks on multiple dates to be their freind , come on and meet us halfway , arent you liberated females ? this is what you wanted rite , show us your in it also and we are not risking our money future on bimbets [ any age girls] '  | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 6:05:31 AM |
Methinks the modern day lady is turning men into irritable beggars .... sad isn't it , you strip us of our very purpose to exist , then you want us to respect you , court you , charm you , care for you , and be your everloving support in times of need .
Whoa there Barra... The "modern day lady" has simply recognized that there is no reason for her to feel obligated, in ANY way, to rid you of your fetters. Very few of us "modern day ladies" expect you to court us, charm us, care for us or even, be our "everloving support in times of need". One of the primary reasons marriages are splitting up is that all of those wonderful things simply disappear into thin air when your own cup of needs have been met. The one thing I do think we have a right to expect is your respect.
I see a set of rules . me , myself , and I ........ the new rules for the 21st century.
Having to move over in the last few decades to treat women as more than "entities you had to have to have your sexual needs met" has been a tough transition for everyone. Women still aren't sure that they have the same rights as men have historically felt they had and men aren't sure what they can demand anymore.
Perhaps this could be a new rule ..... consideration for the one you are dating !!!!!
Yes... let's talk about it. Why didn't the gentleman this lady was out with treat his own sexuality with a little bit of respect? Who wrote in the book that it is only a lady who needs to have some restraint and self-discipline? Many here view her as "leading him on" but hey... who ever said that he is immune from having to have some values about his own sexuality?
I haven't read all of the posts but I will be surprised if I find one that discusses his "leading her on" or the need for him to stop thinking that promiscuity is his God-given right....
Not cynical any more . just lost interest .
If that was true, you wouldn't have answered this post and you wouldn't have answered it with such anger about what you perceive as women not giving you what YOU need.
Question...... what's in it for us ?
Both genders need to be taking pages out of each other's books as far as I can tell. Since many of you are no longer having to be totally consumed by being the primary financial support for the family, you could now use some of that time to expand your own knowledge of what true intimacy with a woman is comprised of... You could learn some self-restraint, some self-discipline and start treating your own sexuality with a little bit more respect. When you don't go into a date groping someone you barely know, you might even find that you actually get to know the person and life becomes more than an endless pursuit of someplace to get rid of your built-up tensions.
What's in it for you? The first REAL relationships where people are in them because they love and adore one another and for no other reason. Sounds like a pretty good trade-up to me!  | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:37:55 AM | | You probably caused him to waste a Viagra, and they are expensive you know. Never settle for less than what you want. And we all want respect and caring. If a man does not want to see you again just because he did't get sex then he just wasn't that into you and he is very shallow and self-centered, good riddance. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:54:57 AM | | theblueeyes: I always offer to pay my own way because I do not want to owe anybody anything. If the man insists on paying for dinner, then I pay for the coffee or putt-putt golf or whatever. Why do men keep thinking we are all after a meal ticket. I do not need a meal ticket. Most women today have careers and can buy their own food. The real fact is that most women do not even need a man anymore, at least not for financial support. Half the men I have met on this site make less money than I do, and their ex-wives and kids have already taken them for everything. Some of the men on here have so many ex-wives and kids to pay child support to they want you to support them. If you meet any man or woman who starts ****ing about money you need to run like hell because they will only get worse. In my opinion money ain't worth it, so stop your ****in. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 3:35:53 PM | I have gone out with many men over the years and can honestly say that most of these men aren't worth it!! I have met many players and liars, spent my hard earned money on them, when I got nothing from them.
Funny, but the men who talk a good game about sex, can't. Most are on high blood pressure meds or are Diabetic or severly overweight and have other health issues.
There has to be some good and decent men out there. Come on everyone, we are not getting any younger. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:16:30 PM | What's in it for you? The first REAL relationships where people are in them because they love and adore one another and for no other reason. Sounds like a pretty good trade-up to me!
If you read my posts and understood them you would realise that I what I have been saying for a long long time .... all I've received is mockery , and a pat on the head for being a "nice" boy ...... 
You girls don't want loving guys ,,, who are you trying to kid ? | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:49:52 PM |
If you read my posts and understood them you would realise that I what I have been saying for a long long time .... all I've received is mockery , and a pat on the head for being a "nice" boy ......
What precisely were you hoping to receive Barra? Dating isn't about who's getting what... It's supposed to be about getting to know one another if the interest and attraction is there.
If you're as bitter on your dates as you appear to be here, you may be receiving those "pats on the head" for your dates to defuse you long enough to get home safely.
You girls don't want loving guys ,,, who are you trying to kid ?
It isn't us girls (and we're women by the way) that are in this thread complaining that we don't get what we EXPECT to have while we're just dating people. And who are you to comment on what other individuals want? If anything Barra, it seems like you are the one who is wanting, expecting and getting bitter when others don't meet your expectations.
When I look for a loving guy, I don't generally check out the ones who are spitting acid. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:57:56 AM | "theblueeyes: I always offer to pay my own way because I do not want to owe anybody anything"
That just says it all. These days if you allow a man to buy you ANYTHING then they expect sex in return. Gee $12.00 for some nookie - I ain' t that cheap ! So, I ALWAYS offer to pay my own way on a first date. No one I know is super rich anyway so it would not be fair. Nor is it fair to buy me 2 beers and 10 wings and expect to get laid. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:19:29 AM | | Don't let my user name confuse you. Me myself, I am 52 and love sex. However, I always feel that if it is going to happen it will and never push sex. (to me that is the woman's move) | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:23:38 AM | I agree, Columbia Single.....I have delicious, imported beer in my refrigerator at home, and buy fresh chicken wings in lots of ten pounds each, so I am certainly not about to have sex with some "date" for a few cheap beers and wings........and that's what so many of these men think....
Even "crackheads" are gonna have sex with men for more than a few beers and wings......I guess most of these guys can't afford hookers.... | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/10/2008 2:23:57 PM |
Times change ,, and I think the young are far better off today for not having the realities of life hidden from them as they were for us .
Yes times have changed. Maybe the young are a little better off knowing the realities of life early but it does take it's toll. What is considered acceptable in today's society is getting a bit out of control.
If you want to see the worst effects of this on our kids take a few days and sit in the classrooms of an inner-city school. What you'll see and hear there will be the norm in suburban schools in five years from now...it's not pretty. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:16:43 PM | If you want to see the worst effects of this on our kids take a few days and sit in the classrooms of an inner-city school. What you'll see and hear there will be the norm in suburban schools in five years from now...it's not pretty.
Good point , not having been near a classroom for many years , I'm not aware of the goings on . But I am aware of the disrespect the young have for others today , and I assume it is prevalent in the classroom .
My grandfather used to have a saying .."If you don't train a dog , you get an animal , if you don't train a human , you get the same "
Perhaps there is some truth in that saying | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:02:53 PM |
My grandfather used to have a saying .."If you don't train a dog , you get an animal , if you don't train a human , you get the same "
Perhaps there is some truth in that saying
Unfortunately, there is more truth in that than you can imagine. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:47:05 AM |  What I find is we do need guidelines cause man after 21 years of being out of the dating game things SURE HAVE CHANGED but I think Sue said it well I could add have no expectations | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/11/2008 7:26:00 AM | Hello, I seen the word boomer and wondered if I was in the right place.
I am 62 years old and like older ladies. Dating rules? Just be your self
and go with the flow. I have gone to bed the first night and waited months
without. Not sure what to expect, but being compatible helps. I am a
patient man but not months, Sorry. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:14:39 AM | Beautiful Dancer, you are correct! The only thing I disagree with, having recently been in both urban and suburban classrooms is that except for the color of the skin of the students, the "disrespect" is the same..........with the internet, MTV, and other forms of "modern communication", it takes minutes, not months, for "trends"....bad or good.....to go from urban to suburban...........
And, at least in my little corner of the world, the kids driving the big SUV's and high end vehicles -- the BMW's, Mercedes, etc., who are going to the inner city to buy drugs (and know the location of the drug dealer's homes better than many inner city residents), are those suburban kids....... | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 6/11/2008 5:01:36 PM |
Beautiful Dancer, you are correct! The only thing I disagree with, having recently been in both urban and suburban classrooms is that except for the color of the skin of the students, the "disrespect" is the same..........
chocolatebrowne...I agree about the drugs and the media's influence on kids in general but there is a difference in the behavior and what is considered acceptable. I agree many kids today lack respect but there is at least a difference in the way they conduct themselves. I'm not talking about disrespect here but TOTALLY unacceptable behavior.
They have bought into the rap and hip-hop culture to the point that they really believe it is the norm. Teachers are taught to accept and celebrate their different cultural backgrounds...but I don't think that includes (or should include) the rap and hip-hop culture - especially what it has become today. In my district most of the students are minorities but for some reason few are African American. They are a mix of many different nationalities from all over the world. Saddly, they know little about their own cultural backgrounds but have identified with the rap and hip-hop culture so much so that they really believe that they are justified in their behavior. Saddly, still, is the fact that there are so many kids that act this way that it is a huge challenge to control them - nevermind try to teach them that their behavior is unacceptable.
As far as kids and sex is concerned that is a whole different issue. No kids no matter what nationality or socioeconomic status is going to be able to grow up without some kind of exposure to unhealthy ideas about sex and relationships. "Sex sells" and the media will sell it to anyone - any age - willing to buy it. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:28:40 AM | I have been developing rules or guidelines for dating since I restarted it a few years ago. I write them down to peruse when emotions cloud my judgment from time to time. ( plus my memory isn't as good as it was when I was younger)
• Avoid applying pressure; if they want to do something they will. If not, and it is that important to you, move on.
• Avoid a partner with poor finances, not a partner that is poor. Most people with mountains of debt make a good living. Someone that works hard to keep their family fed, bills paid, and debt that has been accumulated and managed wisely is a far better catch. They know the value of a dollar.
• Sex drive decreases with time. If sex is rationed at the beginning of the physical relationship, just remember the rations only get smaller as time progresses.
• The family knows best. If your partner is estranged from several members of their family there is a reason.
• Avoid the victim. Someone that proclaims being blameless for the major tribulations in their life, is lacking in their sense of personal responsibility.
• Values and religion matter. Belief systems that are opposed to each other are destined to be a constant source of friction. Just assume that by the time your partner has reached their 40s you are not going to initiate a major change in their view about life and lifestyle.
• Keep the books balanced. Make sure you invest emotionally as much as you receive and visa versa.
• Like the kids. Conflicts are going to happen, but make sure there is an underlying source of respect and that it runs both ways. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 6:22:29 AM | | I'll chime in on this one - (new to this forum). I usually offer to help pay and don't mind a bit doing so (I've been independent a long time). I actually feel a little more comfortable at least at the outset pulling my own weight because I find it makes things a little friendlier. I think sometimes there are some women who love to be wined and dined and don't actually want to make a real connection and it's not fair to the fellows. On the other hand, if someone continuously wants to go someplace really expensive, I might suggest someplace a little more reasonable so I'm not breaking my budget. Ha ha! | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 7/7/2008 8:46:41 AM | about time the women dipped in own pockets and treated the guys for once.
but they know exactly what i mean!!
16 to 30 guys forks out all of it
30-45 guy forks out for most of it
45-80 let her pay !!!! as grimmoes are greatfull! | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:16:33 AM | Okay. I have been reading this and have a question. Can someone please tell me
1. What "getting to know each other" is.
2. When "dating" is considered to be happening?
3.. When does it become a "relationship"?
The situation: two people are not seeing anyone else for 6 months, but due to separate family issues going on, who want to spend more time together but can't due to work/school/family/medical issues. What would you call this? I'm really confused here. | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:43:28 PM | my take is:
1. What "getting to know each other" is. = Learning each others history, likes. dislikes, what makes you laugh etc
2. When "dating" is considered to be happening? = again for me 2nd date arranging a third
.. When does it become a "relationship"?= about the time you start having sleep overs | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 7/8/2008 3:45:26 PM | | The situation: two people are not seeing anyone else for 6 months, but due to separate family issues going on, who want to spend more time together but can't due to work/school/family/medical issues. What would you call this? _= a rough spot | |
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| Are there dating rules for us Boomers?
Posted: 7/9/2008 2:30:00 AM | I know I'm not quite 50 yet (I'm pushing it and I figure that's exercise enough...) but if you'll allow me I'd like to comment on the males you're talking about...
When my ex and I separated (after 18 years) I took a little time. I'm still not sure what the rules and expectations are. Maybe I've been lucky, but most of the women I have met through here have been pretty good about letting me know what the ground rules were (if any at all). And regardless of what those rules were, it was all good. I've had some good conversations and more...
If your date got angry or upset because he didn't 'get any' on the first date then I would suggest he is in a hunt for one thing and one thing only. If it's worth having...then it's also worth waiting for. I've had a number of first, second and even third dates where there was no intimate contact--it wasn't the end of the world. | |
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