| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/22/2008 2:10:15 AM | i live in florida and trust me i remember the after effects of katrina...uggg...still havent fixed the fence lol..but glad everything is going better for u hun and dont worry..you werent the idiot and he will realize what he lost someday..they all will...probably not till they are on there deathbed but hey kay sa ra sa ra...at least you know now that if you meet another man that acts like that run the other way!!!hugz at ya! | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/22/2008 3:03:46 AM | Please know that you are not alone!  And definitely count your blessings that you discovered this man's true colors in only two weeks and it didn't take two months or god forbid, two years! I know your pain, believe me and it isn't easy to go through at all. I'll be 40 soon and found myself "scrambling" in a sense to have at least someone to date...what was I thinking? What is the rush? lol
Anyway, I think you are doing yourself a tremendous favor... take that get away, have fun and relax! Your heart will heal, things will get better, sometimes when you least expect it and when you are not "looking" you find that needle in a haystack!
Take care!!! | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/22/2008 3:43:52 AM | Anyway,I think you just get attached way too fast.Slow down,take things slower and they can be just as exciting.Don`t get drunk,it will only make it worse and you may end up drunk dialing and then really feel like a fool the next day.
It`s his loss if he wants to cry over something that was over 8 month ago.You can do better. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:26:12 AM | I'd say he thought you were such a great lady that he let you go before he used you up so that you could find someone more worthy: He's a "drunk", he lied to you, he got two different women pregnant and he is apparently incapable of commitment!
Granted, hitting him over the head with your hat was a little over the edge... You should have gone waaaaay over the edge and hit him upside the head with a cast iron skillet. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:54:10 AM | Naah, you're not an idiot. He's a player, and they don't wear signs, mores the pity.
He made you feel exactly the way he wanted you to feel so he could 'score' and once he achieved that, he's on to the next victory (lineup of pregnant ex's notwithsanding).
This is really hard to navigate. On the one hand, when I feel like I might have met "the one" I feel like constraining my feelings gets in the way of developing the relationship . It's a very fine balance between allowing myself to have those feelings, and keeping one eye on the possibility that he could be playing me.
One red flag I've learned to watch is this: within the first few weeks, a man can say all kinds of things - that he wants to be the one that your daughter runs to etc etc. This is a broad generalization, but I've learned that guys with 'lines' like that usually have an ulterior motive - my player alert button is pushed. A guy who fully intends to be the one your daughter runs to will be content to demonstrate that over time, and not feel the need to express it to you in words in the first few weeks of the relationship.
For me, words are pretty meaningless. My motto is "don't tell me what kind of man you are, show me." | |
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MNM08
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Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 81 | |
| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:40:49 PM | | You women do not want good guys, no matter how much you say it, you just want garbage. If a good guy actually liked you, you would treat him like crap and kick him to the curb, then take a loser who would verbally abuse you and smack you around, you would complain, but still stay with the guy. Or he would not have a job and you would pay his bills. Or he is so butt ugly, etc, etc. Women love drama and losers, so if you are a good guy with good looks, money, teeth, ambition, an athlete, a big heart, etc, etc. they will not want you. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:41:54 PM | two weeks isn't enough time to get to know a guy. no matter how perfect those two weeks were, never let your guard down until you are SURE and two weeks isn't enough time to be SURE. I have done the most idiotic of stuff myself and if I've learned anything, it's just leave the men alone and let them come to you because if you make the first move, then there's no competition.
I'm alone, but I'm sure not lonely. Give it another round but learn from this and don't open up so soon, don't let him in your home, meet your children, anything until HE OPENS UP FIRST.
:0) | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:14:28 PM | | love makes fools of us all. Don't take it personally he would have treated any women the same. I am not pontificating, I have been in your shoes( except it was a woman who made a fool out of me) | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:16:24 PM | You are rightfully pissed off...and you should be...at yourself!!! Let me get this straight.........TWO WEEKS??? You are willing to doubt yourself, wreck yourself with drinking, run away from your life, and forget your problems because of a two week fling?????????
You can't become that emotionally involved with someone after two weeks and if you do then you really should step back and realize that it's not the person you are feeling for, it's probably the whole idea of "being with someone".
You clearly aren't ready for a relationship and you knew this prior to dating this man, but yet you threw caution to the wind and did it anyway.
You need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and realize that you are the lucky one. You aren't one of the pregnant women that could be tied to this clown, you got out early.
You say that you think you will go "running back" to this man????? What in the hell is wrong with you? I'd rather be alone than to be with someone like him. You are making yourself appear to be desperate because that is what a woman would have to be, to go running back to a man like this.
Get real, get a clue!
Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get the hell over it sister!!!! You are luckier, far luckier than you even realize. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:26:28 PM | Wow~good luck. Some times i think the human race does not deserve to live I consider myself (Reggie) a good a careing person & i know there R many of us out there but from time ta time i think the good lord & the goddess should wipe the slate clean & start over~~~~nuff said | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:45:56 PM | Sorry, I didn't read the entire thread. Are you an idiot? I don't think so.
You got sucked in by a womaniser. That's what they are good at, and have no
intention of staying with any particular woman. Maybe, they can't, and for this,
I do feel sorry for them, even though I detest them. When people get stung by a con-man, they quite often say, well he was so nice! Well duh!
Be glad you didn't contract some lovely disease, because all too often, that's all you end up with, after falling for one of these characters!
I feel for you. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 3:34:54 AM | all woman do lol...i think we are glutten for punishment or cursed or something lol...n yeah they all play nice guy...till you see them for what they really are when you find out it is like CRASH..oh sht...be CAREFUL and REALLY find out about the guy before ya meet him is my new motto...cause trust me..i am still feeling ill from my last one... icky icky icky icky pooo!!!!! lol... | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:16:46 AM | | Remember, they're ALL nice - at first. Two weeks isn't enough time to see anyone's true colours, male or female. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:34:31 AM | You're not an idiot. Every thunder cloud has its silver lining, so look at the bright side. You only invested 2 weeks out of your life with this guy, so don't be so hard on yourself. Be thankful you didn't invest 2 years, but there's a lesson to be learned here, too. Next time, don't be so quick to introduce anyone to your daughter, she needs to be protected from the creeps in this world that lurk around.
Remember, this too, shall pass. 
Pink | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:59:02 AM | I want to know who's running this lurve thang because this kind of thing is happening all over the place for men and women. We should have a public enquiry.
And although I had a horrible 13 year marriage and have been celibate for 14 years (and I do mean celibate as in not even snogged let alone had sex) the only relationships I'm looking for are ones that have the prospect of marriage at the end of them.
If I can't see myself as married to someone from the very first few contacts with them I don't go have sex with them and don't go leading them on.
OP love makes fools of all of us sometimes and I've found whether I want it or not if I find my heart opening up to a lady I'll get very panicky. The more ladies I open up to (again, not talking about having sex but about having lovey dovey feelings) the less the panic comes on but I've got good reason for listening to the caution signs these warning signals give me.
I have empathy for your situation, albeit as a fella. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 9:00:40 AM | Ok I am only half way through reading this post so if someone has already said it ... forgive me
if he would just pull his head out of his ass he does have the potential to be a really great guy. But he's a drunk..... I didn't realize how much so until recently. I guess he really is one of those who will have to hit rock bottom before he realizes how bad he's gotten.
If you think you can save him from himself you are an Idiot he does need to hit rock bottom and you dont need to be there its not like you have a long termm relationship with him and what of your little girl ??? does she need to go through that ?
Why do you even want to be with someone that you will have to look after ???
can I maybe suggest that you are a Codependant (I am recovering) lol I could swear to gawd that i wrote this Post
Look after yourself allow yourself some time to get over it .. put a time limit on your pity party for one and go party like a rock star if thats whats needed to get over this no good for you anyways guy!!
all the best | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 9:10:32 AM | The first mistake you make is to call your self an idiot...you are not, you have an open heart and were looking for love..no crime in that, the mistake you made was moving too fast, 2 weeks is barely enough to know someone, let alone think you are falling in love.
Love grows,when you fall in any situation,,especially a flight of stairs you get hurt.
Try to look at it as an experience from which you can learn and grow. Life is too short to carry around pain, caused by someone else. If you loved and did the best you could then you are in the right and truth. He is the one that loses and will continue to lose.
Sounds emotionally crippled to me. Send him a pack of depends..and move on. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 9:16:39 AM | In's interesting how mostly men write giving other men advice, and women mostly give women advice. It's a learning experience unto itself. I apologize in advance for what I am about to say.
You are stuck in a pattern of falling for the type of guy whose allegiance is to himself and only himself. Maybe it's about time you set the rules upfront and give those guys a heads up about who you are not. You are a mother whose responsibility is to her child first. Any guy who comes into you life needs to be asked if he has the maturity to be a one woman man. and have an eye toward the future . These guys you date have the typical "dog" syndrome. There's always more where that one came from. They're never satisfied. They may promise you the world, but they are nothing more than players. My only advice is to take it reallllllllll slow. There are good guys out there. If they are really into you, they will take the time to know you, and let you know them. Don't let your feelings overule you head.
I have a 21 year old daughter. I've been divorced for 12 years. In that time, she met only two women of all the dating I did, simply because I didn't want her to think it was ok to go through people like water, and not to let anyone in that special part of my life, unless I was absolutely sure that we were on the same page. That takes time. Don't be in a hurry to find love. You appear to be a sensitive woman who has no reason to let her self esteem suffer. It's not completely you. It's the jerks you let into your life so easily. Be more discreet, and look long term for the right guy. He will prove himself in time. Until then, Ask yourself the question. Will this guy be not only a good friend and lover, but also a responsible father?. It takes time, time, time, time........
Best of luck!!!!! | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 9:25:13 AM | | I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I am a widow also and as of yet no man has gotten under my skin. But I know the time will come and I could just imagine your pain. You are a very pretty girl and you have your head on straight so don't let one man get you down. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/24/2008 4:29:05 PM | Alright, taking a deep breath here, read the first post and scanned through the other ones.
I personally don't believe that is the quantity of time spent but more so the quality.
Don't be so hard on yourself, this low life played you real good. What you have to do now, is look at the big picture and see where HE is at in his life in comparison to what it is that you are looking for.
He lied, he betrayed you over and over.
Go get checked out for sexually transmitted diseases, that should be a priority right now.
Emilio | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:22:09 AM | Wow...is all I can say...your *J* sounds alot like mine!!! I hope that you realize you are not the idiot, HE IS!!! I went through a VERY similiar thing here and have the scars on my heart to show it...part of me says be the cold evil ****, but in honesty that is NOT me and I refuse to let what someone else did to me break me and make me something I am not!!! Keep your head up babe it gets better and remember not ALL men out there are gonna break that delicate thing we call a heart!!!
Ya just got to find the one that holds it firmly but gently in his hands and loves and protects it....
Take that much needed vacation and have yourself the time of your life!!!
Best wishes from one broken heart to another!! | |
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N*Love
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Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 97 | |
| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:30:52 AM | Oh man.. Reading the frusturation in your thread made me think I wrote it...
Although im not having this fiasco with men ... I do feel like you... I need to "jet" leave, disappear for a weekend...
Being a single mom ... I know all about it...
best of luck ... and hey... its LUST... so don't worry... You'll soon lust for someone else... just a matter of time... | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:49:02 AM | Don't feel all alone! Like the man said, you're in good company! I too had the same experience. I let someone get to me that I knew was wrong but I thought this time it will be different. I kept this a "friendship" only for 10years! Don't you know, she did the same to me as if I were just one of the crowd! I am boiling mad to the point I just hope some seagull would fly proudly over her head! (bombs away)!
Anyway, it's only the best that get burned so feel good about yourself and never let them back into your life again.He just isn't good enough for you! | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:52:57 AM | hunny you're not an idiot you have a right to fall in love agian, ya know and its true men tend to be ***holes, my ex included its when you really trust to trust the guy that they show their true colours funny how that works huh. and i am the same with with my ex, he is with someone else, he said the reason he broke it off with me is because he didnt want to committ , but then gets into another relationship, tell me isnt that a committment? his justification was that we were only friends with benefits, and he said and i quote," my hands are clean of it" thanks ***hole. Despite how hurt i am, and how angry he makes me at times, i cant stay mad at him, i would run back to him if he asked so i know that feeling personally hun, but listen its because you are a sweet caring women and guys like those tend to take advantage of our kindness, it is not your fault, and i'll repeat you're not an idiot okay. listen if you want to you can talk more with me online or something just message me on here and ill get back to you.
you're strong and you dont need his bullshit there are a lot of great guys out there that im sure are just waiting for their chance to prove it to you that they would never hurt you. | |
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| I'm an idiot
Posted: 2/27/2008 11:40:58 AM | He did you a favor. He's a liar and a fool - you deserve better.
Write him off, stay away from him - don't give him another chance at your heart. | |
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