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 tam1983
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 26
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Thank you all for your replies gonna go and have a long hard think about what to do next .
 sweethangtoo
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 27
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/19/2008 9:48:07 AM
My ex and I split 10 yrs ago but every GF (some of my friends too) he has introduced right away, his newest GF they've been together now for 6 months waited a WEEK!!! So I know how you feel.. And this girl is a nut job too!
 NicciiYH29
Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 28
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my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/21/2008 1:24:29 AM
I have the opposite problem. Now that my ex and I are split up, HIS children's mother (who was a ROYAL pain in the @ss thruout our relationship) totally went psyco and has accused me of all sorts of horrible things that i supposedly did to her kids over the last 1 1/2 years. NONE true of course. But now he has our child and her children on the same weekend and I have to insist my child not be anywhere NEAR her for fear she'll screw his head up as bad as she did her own kids. I told him he's not even allowed to pick my son up first for fear she'll pick a fight and have him arrested in front of the kids (she's tried that one before). Any suggestions for THAT one?
cause now he thinks i'm just trying to use my son to control him instead of looking out for my son's mental and emotional well being
 LadyAbsinthe
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 29
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/21/2008 12:31:19 PM
My ex had his new girlfriend living with him less than a month after getting his visitation back. I think it was bad enough that the girls were spending time with her, but she was bathing them, cooking for them and SPENDING THE NIGHT IN THE HOUSE WITH THEM. I find that to be totally inappropriate. They have met one guy I've dated and he was introduced as mommy's friend and we never were affectionate infront of the kids. That way when it didn't work out the kids were, for the most part, unaffected.
 Sniper88
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 30
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/21/2008 1:25:54 PM
My take on this, if he is in love with his new gf and trying to make a relationship work, who is it for you to say dad cant spend time with his kids and his new gf?
How would you like it if you met someone and were serious and he said you couldnt have the kids around your new bf? Im sure you wouldn't be pleased.

If there is no danger to the kids let it lie. You cant control what dad does with his social life and as long as his/your kids are being taken care of when the children are with him you have nothing to quibble about. Accept the things you CANNOT control and move on.
 guynamejeff
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 31
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/21/2008 3:46:51 PM
^^^ Right on, pucks!, er, I mean sniper.

 rumyshiningstar
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 32
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/21/2008 6:14:39 PM
I am going to disagree to some extent. No matter what the "breakup" situation is, when children are involved, you've basically torn apart the only world they've ever known. Want to or not, they will hope and pray for a reconciliation. Bringing in a new b/f or g/f too soon, could cause emotional challenges for a child who only understands that everything he knows and loves has changed. Having a revolving door of men or women in their life can be just as harmful.

I've introduced my son to a couple of dates, one was only because of bad timing. But each time they were introduced, they were "Mommy's friend". Nothing more and no one has slept here since my ex left while my son was here. That will not change until I have developed something more serious than a casual dating situation.

Obviously this is my opinion but it does come on the heels of a lengthy meeting with a child psychologist.

Good luck!
 Mommy_Freckles
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 33
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 8:22:10 AM
I have the same problem with my kids dad. He jumps into new relationships so quickly. The girl he is with now he started staying at he place everynight after only knowing her a few days. Then he wanted the kids to stay with him at her house when he had them for the weekends. This bothered me because I didn't know this woman, he barely knew her! But I try to tell him I am not happy with the kids staying at her house, and he manages to make me feel like an idiot. He is always right, I am always wrong. GOD I don't know why he is still able to make me feel like my feeling don't matter!
 guynamejeff
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 34
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:05:55 AM
^^^^^ I think it's quite often that these conflicts regarding children are really just conflicts between adults. Power struggles and left over resentment.


This bothered me because I didn't know this woman

I am not happy with the kids staying at her house

he manages to make me feel like an idiot.
None of these things have anything to do with whether he is being a responsible parent.

Then he wanted the kids to stay with him at her house when he had them for the weekends.
This, however, would require some discussion. The discussion will go better if you can manage to avoid the irrelevant/volatile issues.
 TAKEN fab-mom
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 35
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my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:23:07 AM
I would have to agree with guynamejeff on this one.....everytime I read about something that the ex is doing 1)it is usually trivial. I mean child meeting the girlfriend, annoying but hey, he's not shooting up in front of the kid. Pick your battles. and 2) it usually is oozing with resentment, bitterness and jealousy.

I think the best thing for any single parent to do is suck it up and realize that hey, at one point you thought this guy was worthy of sleeping with and he is as much a part of that child as you are. I couldn't care less if my daughters father was run down in the road by a semi truck......but damnit, he is her father and as much of a punk as I think he is now I sure didn't at one time and if he ever decided to be apart of her life I would have to let a lot of things go I'm sure. It will drive you crazy if you don't.

(This of course is as long as the child is not in danger. That is a different situation all together)
 ~*Angel Eyes*~
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 36
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:24:49 AM
Eh, i'm just a b---- but personally, I am NOT bringing guys around my son, and if my husband brought some girlfriend around him, I wouldn't allow him to see his son unless it was somewhere that I KNEW she wasn't going to be there. Unless they were really "serious" not like some 6 week fling. But thankfully, my ex went back to MN USA so he's far away and I wont have to deal with any of that, or even share my son. He's all mine.
 TAKEN fab-mom
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 37
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my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:28:52 AM
But that's just it. You can't stop them from having them around. It is just added stress. Why waste your time and effort?
 tam1983
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 38
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:49:54 AM
Accept he has moved on SO HAVE I i left him like i said all along the childrens happeness is mine concern
 TWINKLE-TE
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 39
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:58:19 AM
I am sorry but I don't get it...
Is your ex never to be able to move on....why is it so wrong for your children to meet a new person in his life?
If the court's deemed then he has been given the legal right to parent his children when in his care.
I am sure if there were anything serious to worry about (health issues) he would contact you as I hope you would do for him as you are both the parents..
This new girl in his life is his buisness and it is his choice if she meets his kids...

So no I absolutely disagree...grow up.....you thought he was mature enough to have 2 kids with then he is more then mature enough to use his judgement inregards to a new life which he is totally allowed to pursue!
 octoro
Joined: 1/24/2008
Msg: 40
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 11:33:26 AM
OP....

I haven't read past your first post but I don't believe a word of it. You're EX'S and haven't anything to do with who'm he chooses to see with his kids so YOU can't take the kids when you please. You don't like it, tough shit, you made your lousy bed for the next how many years.
 aspiring_angel
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 41
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/22/2008 11:53:18 AM
OP I didn't read all of your posts either. It's hard on the eyes and with the lack of punctuation, hard to understand as well. This isn't meant as a bash, just an observation.

You do not get to choose who is in your ex-husband's life. You don't mention anything negative that the new woman has done, aside from being "new." If you have a problem with his judgement, just remember, you picked him.

I'm sure this isn't the first new girlfriend he'll be introducing your kids to either. Unfortunately you do not get to dictate the terms under which he involves his "girlfriends' with your children. At least he asked your opinion (which he tossed out like trash).

As for what you can do: not much, especially since you haven't told us one thing she's done to be excluded from your children's lives. If she's some dope smoking, drug using prostitute, you may have a case. Otherwise get ready for what the rest of us know to be true - You have no say. Put another way: He has just as much right to raise his children any way he sees fit. Until he crosses a line (and this ain't it) you suck it up and do the best you can.
 smipb1978
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 42
my ex introduced my kids to his girlfriend after 6 weeks
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:00:58 AM
i feel your pain! im going through the almost exact same thing right now. we are going through a divorce, have only been separated for four months. he meet her about a week from the separation and has fallen head over heals. we were married seven years. he moved in with her about 2 months ago. me and the kids can only talk to him when hes not with her. i call and see if he wants to come see the kids on a saturday, and he refuses, and i usually get cused out and yelled at if i call. i believe she has alot to do with this, she has already posted some comments on myspace and i had them removed. i have come to the conclusion he wants nothing to do with the children and hopefully can prove this in court. what im going through right now is the most pain ive ever experienced in my life. i feel like he shouldnt have any rights to the kids, i could be wrong. and i know that anger and hurt is driving me, but i try to look at the facts too. what can i do to relieve this drama?
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