| What the F---!
Posted: 3/22/2006 8:49:29 AM | Robbase277 said:
But if most people were not so shallow we could actually meet people person to person like it was done once upon a time.
Hi Rob, I don't think it is shallow at all to want to see a picture. I hope you do not mean to label all of us that need that physical attraction BEFORE we are meeting someone, or even writing to them, shallow. That is just not right.
Let's be honest, I don't want to meet any woman that is heavier then me. Or one that sadly has not aged well. To say looks is not important to form a long loving relationship is just lying to yourself. We all have some sort of an idea of what is attractive and what is not to us; Male or female.
So are you saying that you will chat and or correspond with someone and then decide to meet and find out you are sitting across a 400 pound woman with a triple chin and no teeth, wearing a housecoat made my Omar the tent maker, and you would be happy?
Not to put down someone with all those problems, but it would be a definite turn-off to me. Now to some guy that is 400 pounds and no teeth and no hair, maybe there's a match! But let's be honest. We all have our limits. | |
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Ava111
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Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 152 | |
| What the F---!
Posted: 3/22/2006 10:33:33 AM | I can understand your point surely. It's very hard being a woman and using Internet dating site. I say thank all the men out there who bagger women and do get quite rude and offensive when you politely say, you're nice but I don't feel a physical attraction to you. You get harrassed for being nice, then some get nasty when you're honest. YOu can't win. I think many women on here would rather just avoid all that and not respond to one's they're not attracted to or have no photo. I've had enough nightmare stories to know well enough, not to take the chance. Twice bitten, three times shy!!! | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 3/22/2006 3:18:14 PM | | AVA i totally agree i couldnt find those words!!! mysta! | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 3/22/2006 5:31:20 PM | msg 148 just like yours! really! | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/24/2006 10:13:38 PM | Yo Rick..
I agree with you to an extent !
While complaining that no one gies a response because you don't post a picture you challenge me to ask what meets your criteria for a woman?
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You would be lying to me if you said you had none:
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C'mon give it up...fat, skinny, athletic, big tits...etc., etc., look in the mirror ..everyone has a certain 'criteria they would like to meet and you are LYING to me if you say otherwise.
My humble opinion
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Tracy
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/24/2006 10:43:40 PM | I feel your pain man and agree whole heartedly, but look at it from the other perspective for a second.
In the times before the internet, you talked to a girl (or guy) if you liked the look of him, or one of the guy/girls friends was dating one of your friends so you had become acquainted previously...but either way, you either based the start of your relationship on instant physical attraction - i.e. you liked the look of the girl/guy "wow! who's that?!" or you're building something you can work on through networking.
Now we remove the ability to network from the equation and try to start an initial conversation with a girl in the bar or wherever. You don't get to meet her friends, she's there alone and she's friendly enough but you're not her type and there is someone there who is...you're not there with your friends and none of her friends are dating anyone she knows. I don't know if you've tried to apply for a job any time in the last few years, but you no longer get a thanks but no thanks, you get the assumed "don't call us, we'll call you" and if you don't hear from them, you didn't fit the part. It sucks and is rude, but that's the way it is.
If you want a way in with a girl and she doesn't have that instant attraction to you, you've gotta find some other way to get her attention, and not having a picture means she doesn't have that instant attraction, the exact same way as if you didn't knock her off her feet right then and there when you met. Figure out what forums she's posted in, build a rapport with her that way. See what she's like there...you might find that her attitude sucks and she saved you the effort by not responding, but if she's really something and she truly doesn't base what she's looking for on looks, then she'll feel it.
We haven't changed that much since the advent of the internet - some people have admitted they're shallow, some people haven't, some people aren't, most people are still shallow enough to want a girl that's pretty but want more than that. A pretty face is a sign of good genes, we're genetically attracted to that. There was a fascinating documentary on TLC about it hosted by John Cleese called The Human Face - watch it.
Anyway, I've digressed so far from the point...we're not all looking for girls to get into bed, but the fact is, probably most of this site is guys looking for girls and at least a few of them are dirt bags. You can understand that if a girl stopped to respond to every email she gets from these people, she's going to spend her whole life devoted to responding to email. I for one am glad that my mailbox isn't overflowing every day because that way, I get to write a personal response to every single email I get without overloading my day too much...it also gives me a chance to network on the forums and talk to people that I might not otherwise consider. | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 12:16:18 AM | *directs Rick to all the "nice guy" whine-a-thon threads*
(most of those guys have pictures.. so it ain't your lack of pictures)
Fact is, the rate of replies for the men around here blows goats. Dunno why, or I'd tell you. Just the way it is. | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 12:50:08 AM | i used to get lots of e-maild etc. UNTIL I posted a pic...... | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 2:35:39 AM | MarkVegas: That's because you're one ugly mo-fo!
Just kidding, you look kind of like Sting, you're a good looking guy. If I were gay, I'd give you a shot :P | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 2:59:24 AM | I have emailed men who do not have a pic. If i like what i read on their profiles, I will email them. So I am exempt from this.  | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 4:21:31 AM | I just want to make clear for those who ignored me on a few attempts, if when my pic is up and you are attracted to me....too bad..I wouldn't want to know you at this point for your shallowness and rude behavior.
OP: shallowness and rude behavior? have you been snorting adderall? Or has all the xanax over the years slowed your brain down to a creeping crawl?
would you wander over to the least attractive person at a c o c k t a i l party and start yacking away at them? NO, NO you wouldn't...you'd head over to the person who is the most attractive to you...
By not having a picture up nobody even knows what you look like. It is likely that no one will even read your profile...there is nothing shallow or rude about not answering an email from someone who does not have a picture or two up. I sure don't.
Why would anyone?
Maybe you should consider submitting a personal ad in your local newspaper? There's a medium in which pictures are not expected...and good luck with that.
This is an internet dating site and people want to see what you look like.
Post your pictures and get over it. | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 10:22:33 AM | | post your pics be a man! hey look at it this way, if I can do it so can you, and I look like a cross between popeye and Mr. clean | |
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Plugar
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Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 164 | |
| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 10:37:23 AM | I did a test.I put a pic up of a model dude.I got 300 hits in 1 day.I then changed it with a avg dude pic.2 hits.Bottom line,women are just as shallow as men are.PS:Know one wants to be just friends or talk on here.In closing.If your afraid of the sharks,stay out of the surf. | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 11:06:12 AM | a test eh???????
and just out of curriosity,...why did you not post your own picture?????
do you have some deformity you don't wish to disclose,...or your nose in the middle of the forehead???? or are you just soo handsom no woman could possibly restrain herself from beating a path to your door,...in wich case what the heck are you doing here?????
and what if the perfect person for you,... asked to meet you,..only to find out you were lying,...and just testing her and others???????
For me lying and deceipt is even worse than shallow,....
if your afraid to be rejected,...stay out of the pool too,....
Do you know how many people are members of this site????????
***(Know one wants to be just friends or talk on here.)***plugar ????
I'm guessing way more than the few people you could have contacted and tested to make a definitive statement,...like,...((Know) No one wants to be just friends or talk on here.
BTW,...you do know most of the women on this site can read,..right??????
and they can also see at the bottom of your profile the comments you have made,...in the forums?,...
Do you think you have done yourself a favor by the statement you so smuggly made in your previous post????????
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 11:16:36 AM | | dont worry sweetie...there is someone for everyone i was told. pic or not you will find good people that dont care about looks or materlistic things. a pic does help but in the long run its your personality that will win them over. | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 11:37:59 AM | so then you don't care about honesty??????at all,...lateinlove
(I'M HONEST.I HAVE NO PIC.SO IF U NEED ONE TO BE MY FRIEND.SORRY) this I took from his profile,....which he contradicted with his post,....
I don't know about you but at my age,...I'm done being tested by any man,...even one with a cute photo,....
then again apparently the picture doesn't mean that much if there are many like buddy,... who don't feel the picture posted should be of the poster,....
enough with the games already,.... | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 6/25/2006 12:28:23 PM | I'd have to agree at least in part with Plugar's comments...before you stand there with your jaw dropped that anyone could possibly agree with something so...male, hear me out.
There are two types of guys on here just as there are in real life at the bar, downtown, at the mall, wherever; those that are looking for fun and to play the field and those that are looking for someone to really share their lives with. Many are on here in addition to being out there in real life because this gives them the opportunity of connecting with people the world over instead of limiting them to their own area.
Just some what ifs (from my point of view):
What if "the one" is out there in some place I've never dreamed of going to - now I'm big on dreams, so I believe that if "the one" is out there, my dreams will tell me where it is and I will find her...when the time is right. But what if that never happens? Does that mean I don't have a "One" in this lifetime? I'm sure there are many girls out there that I would jump at the chance of spending the rest of my life with. The internet isn't my only way of finding her, but it does give me the added chance of finding her.
I have to say it though, a lot of the girls on here seem to be as shallow as a lot of the girls in real life...before the guys jump up and start throwing accusations - the guys are just as bad and in some cases worse.
Most of the girls you're likely to be physically attracted to first are still at a time in their life where they're having fun and playing the field, they're not ready to settle down and have a steady boyfriend, get married and have kids. Most of the guys you're likely to be physically attracted to first are the same way. That's just a fact of life. We're culturally groomed to be monogamous, so we're naturally reluctant to seal the rest of our lives without having some fun first. People get hurt in that process because they're not honest with each other about what they want from the outset and it's a game of cat and mouse that is played by one or both parties.
I don't want to come across as holier than thou, I've been there and done that too - I don't condone some of what I've done in my past, I regret to be able to say that yes, I've hurt some girls in the past and I'm deeply sorry for that, but equally I've been hurt too - that can't be changed, we learn from our mistakes and move on. Everyone's done it at some point in their lives - it's not always intentional, but it happens. Learn from it, get up, dust yourself off and try again. I'm going to steal a quote from someone else on here that really hit home with me "Your strength isn't measured by how many times you fall, it's measured by how many times you can get up and carry on."
I for one don't want to limit my chances of finding my dream girl by only looking in the "real world"...which I may or may not (but probability says not) find in the bar or even in my home town. I travel a lot, so that increases the odds. I surround myself with the type of people that enjoy doing the same things as me and that gives me the added chance. Girls often overlook friends because "We're just friends, I can't date him". Why not? Girls, the guys who are your friends and stick by you as friends, are the ones that love you for who you are - unconditionally. Don't overlook them, you may spend the rest of your life looking for John, the guy you grew up with but didn't give the chance because you were just friends. If you're looking for your soul mate - chances are, they're already one of your friends.
If you look only at the picture and don't give the conversation a chance, then you're probably still looking for a good time - don't waste your time convincing yourself you're looking for a soul mate that you're not putting in the real effort to find.
And if you're looking for guys with depth - we're out here...we might not all be super models, but just maybe your friends and family will approve if you give us a chance. I think a lot of people are not being honest with themselves more than with anyone else. If you're looking for your soul mate, chances are, he isn't the supermodel that you're looking for a picture of.
Here endeth today's gospel :P | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 8/14/2006 10:49:56 PM | Hey I also get one response to every 10-20 emails I send, even though I am decent looking and have plenty of pics up. It's much, MUCH harder for us guys! Don't get discouraged. I've met some fun and attractive women from these sites, it just takes effort. Make sure you're writing good messages with good grammar, that's so important! About the pics.. well, you need some good, current pics. I have a digital camera so I try to take new pics every week or two. This way when I meet a women for the first time she can't complain that I don't look like my pic  Call me shallow but I don't write to anyone without a pic in their profile. It really makes or breaks the deal as far as I'm concerned.
One more thing to consider... Attractive women on these site have TONS of email every time they check. They probably just delete them all some days since they simply can't get to everyone. When you get your pic up try writing to those women again, you never know, they may read it and actually write back this time. You just can't beat yourself up when they don't respond because that's going to happen 90+% of the time, even if you look like Brad Pitt | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 170 | |
| What the F---!
Posted: 8/15/2006 6:48:47 AM | | yeah conceit runs both ways....sometimes, I msg ppl whom I am not attracted to at all, but liked something they said in their profile. I might send a msg like this: Hi, don't feel obligated to reply, I just wanted to comment on...such and such and wish them well. sometimes my msgs say "We would not make a good match, but I really liked how you stated ....in your profile"....this lets the guy know that he doesn't have to worry about 'hurting my feelings' by not replying, because I do not want/expect him to. So far I have only had one "unread/deleted"...had he read it, he would've seen a msg similiar to the example i just gave. but, guess i wasn't good looking enough for him to even bother reading my msg...*shrugs*! | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 5/13/2007 8:41:49 PM | | These people without profile pics do the most complaining . Just put a damn pic on your file . We have the right to only want to deal with profiles with pics . In fact my profile is blocked from emails for profiles without pics . | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 5/14/2007 8:28:36 AM | | women as well as men are visual creatures, yes,, i know it seems shallow, but we all like to see who we are talking to, if you put on your profile, pic on request, you may have better responses. | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 5/14/2007 8:42:23 AM | Rick....surely you have a reason for not posting a pic, as I do...
Expectations are different from every individual on the INTERNET DATING SCENE...
If you have no pic on your profile, but are willing to forward one on request, don't worry about the individual indicating [ no pic] [no chat]....let them CLICK ON TO THE NEXT.....
Keep in mind there are people on POF who are willing converse with or without a pic...
Otherwise Rick keep  | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 5/14/2007 11:40:29 AM | | The picture serves as security as you know what the person your talking to looks like, not to say the pics cant be faked, just upload a pic of anyone, its just a sense of security (even if its false) | |
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| What the F---!
Posted: 5/14/2007 11:44:04 AM | | damn, doble post, why does this keep happening? | |
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