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| lust and / or love
Posted: 3/10/2008 9:27:45 AM | Absolutely loved (or lusted) this thread! Because how amazing that 2 simple words hold such different meanings for people. Lust...that one seems to find agreement with us. But Love? So difficult to conceptualize... there are similarities in the postings, but just as many differences. Perhaps that is one reason we all are having such a difficult time finding love? Hmmm?
Ok...lust - chemistry, physical desire, wanting to kiss, touch, have sex w/the person. Wanting to rip their clothes off and jump their bones. Lust is instantaneous, as in OMG, I *want* you.
Love: Lust is just one part of it. Love is not instantaneous. It grows over time, and has no boundaries...it can grow forever. It is intimacy - physical, mental, spiritual, etc. It is commitment - wanting to have that person in your life forever. It is wanting the best for that person. It includes sacrifice. doing things for that person even if you don't feel like it. It includes thinking of that person's needs and trying to fulfill them, simply to give them happiness.
Love is giving
Lust is getting
In fact, while Lust is part of Love, if you love, you will put off the fulfillment of your lust for that person. (i.e. he's tired after a day of work but you are horny, you will not push sex, instead you give him a backrub)
And let's not forget infatuation, which includes Lust and Caring...not the same as Love, but ppl often confuse the 2. I think when ppl say they had "love at first sight", what they mean is infatuation that grew into love.
Also there are different kinds of love. For me, I have love for my friends and that kind of love comes quickly with a new partner...but that's not romantic love, that's more like "You are a worthy person and I wouldn't want you to get hit by a bus and die." Really, that is what I would call "Caring", which is easy to have, but is not the same as real Love.
That's my attempt, on this Monday afternoon.(feels like morning with this *&^%&* time change)
Kaylie  | |
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| lust and / or love
Posted: 3/10/2008 12:00:22 PM | Lust is going merely for the surface stuff, the "polished" exterier, quick-fix adrenalin rush, a crush on an idealized version of the person, if you will. (Come to think of it, there are plenty of high school kids and/or sex addicts who fit into this mold.) Love (ideally) should be based on actually knowing the other person once the mad rush wears off and you see the person for who he/she is, warts and all, and there is mutual respect and caring. It sounds almost like an old married couple scenario, but there is staying power. I've been in one relationship years ago where love was mentioned, prematurely. Looking back on it, I believe it was based more on lust, with the "I love you's" from both sides being said to make the situation more acceptable, a regretable situation. I have been more conscienscius about policing my own behavior to avoid misunderstandings and to end the situation if it looked like it was not heading in a good direction. | |
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