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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 10:18:59 PM | Maybe they are on a guilt trip, thinking they will do better the second time around? Just a thought.
Maybe they are trying to prove something to themselves/others that they are still a stud
I broke a relationship with a man who was in his late 30's because he insisted that 'we' should have children, even if we adopted  | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/19/2008 11:51:25 PM |
Posted By: piscescoda
I keep reading this thread title as "Men wanting over 50 children."
Freudian slip?
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 12:28:28 AM |
Maybe they are on a guilt trip, thinking they will do better the second time around? Just a thought.
Maybe they are trying to prove something to themselves/others that they are still a stud
I've helped raise 2 litters now. None of them my own. I've had long term pieces of the whole, but never the whole in and of my own right.
Call me weird, call me selfish, but 40 isn't so far away and I can see the alure of having the "full meal deal" for a change instead of "pieces parts" when they were younger, and their friendship when they're older. I've been through it, and I know I can do a better job about being who they need me to be, when they need me to be it. It's just that simple.
No. I'm not looking for a 20 something to waltz into my life and make it happen. Hell, I've pretty much written it off as a "done deal" at this point, but the reality is, if I met someone and she was agreeable, we'd be making a litter of our own. No appologies offered, or asked for. We would be adults, we would know exactly what we're getting into and frankly, F-you to those that just don't get it. We'd be here for the long-haul, and appreciate it every step of the way for what it is, the miracle of life.
Frankly, you madam just come across as a bitch | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 1:21:30 AM | I'm nearing the 50 mark....Yes, I have young children as in Grand Children. Most of us in this age range have had children that we did the T-Ball, Indian Guides, Scouts, fishing, Go Karts, boating, camp outs, school functions, high school sports thing with etc. The usual things that go along with being a father and a roll model.
For those that desire to be a father after the age of 50.........GOOD FOR YOU! You'll have the tried and true experience to in fact possibly be a better father then when you were in you're 20's and 30's, not that you weren't.
Most likely you'll possess a much larger income, less time in the office or work place as well as a totally different outlook on life at 50 something. Let's face it, nothing is better then experience.
We definitely need many more fathers that truly desire to take an active roll raising children. Fathers that are in fact competent to be fathers whether or not they are the biological father of a child or children. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 3:09:32 AM | It seems a little selfish as most likely they'll be dead and not get to see the child grow up.
It is a personal choice though.
Women seem to have babies and adopt later in life too. Didn't Joan Lunden the former newswoman have twins by surrogate at 50?
My kids are grown and couldn't imagine doing the dirty diaper duty all over again.
I am enjoying all the free time I have too. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 7:24:06 AM | My brother and his wife have been trying to adopt for almost 5 years now, the last two with one specific little girl in an orphanage in St. Petersburg. They'ere not getting any younger. He's 56 - his wife is 46, and the little girl is now almost 5. They'd make great parents, and her life would most certainly be better in their family than anything waiting for her in Russia.
It's heartbreaking because the Russian bureaucracy sees adoption from the west as a money-making opportunity. They've stretched this out for two years, requiring these papers with that stamp, and those papers with this stamp. Here's the latest scam: Even though they have doctors in Switzerland (where they live) attesting to their good current health, the Russian government wants a medical statement from a Canadian doctor attesting to their health while they lived here - which was in 1999. That's another 500 rubles by the way. It just goes on an on. A year ago at Christmas, when they went to the orphanage to see her and agree to adopt her, the orphanage TOLD her that this was her new mom and dad. So she's spent the past 1+ year wondering where they are and why they don't come to get her. Kinda hard to explain to a 4 year old. It's sick.
Frankly, if a couple decides they want to spend their free time raising a happy healthy child, go for it and age be damned. There are plenty of them out there who need it, or father your own if you can. There are good reasons and bad reasons for doing this and I think we've seen plenty of both. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 7:37:42 AM |
No we dont hunt "game" - you idiot - that was 50 million years ago - youre prejudice and arrogance is awful and sad...
loving, babies, childred in ones life, caring, growing, magic - the turmoil and wonderful liviness and, and seeing the new spirit de4velop and evolve - a life anew - damn its so... humbling and sprirtual
youve lost the sense of magic in your life - very sad how plainly bitter you are - and that is what men over 50 hate and have no time for...
It sounds like you HAD your children and weren't in their lives. We don't always get a second chance. My ex moved far away from his children and is discovering this for himself. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:35:58 AM | | Because they aren't very good at arithmetic or insane. If the women they are seeing isn't pregnant yet, the soonest they could expect the child to be on their own they would be 70 years old - and yep that's insane. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:39:03 AM | Why not? I see nothing wrong with it at all.
Take a look at this guy's fathering capabilities:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramesses_II
He had something like 110 children--[with] 48-55 sons and 40-53 daughters.
"By the time of his death, he was suffering from severe dental problems and was plagued by arthritis and hardening of the arteries. When Ramesses finally did die, he was around 90 years old, an incredible age in a land where most died before they were 50. It was the end of a glorious era; he had outlived many of his wives and children and left great memorials all over Egypt, especially to his beloved first queen Nefertari. The great pharaoh had been called a father of his nation which was now paralyzed and struck with grief. Ten more pharaohs would take the name Ramesses in his honour, but none would equal his greatness. Nearly all of his subjects had been born in his reign and thought the world would end without him. In a way they were right. Ramesses II did become the legendary figure he so desperately wanted to be, but this was not enough. New enemies were attacking the empire which also suffered internal problems and it could not last. Less than 150 years after Ramesses died, his empire fell, his descendants lost their power and the New Kingdom came to an end." | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:55:59 AM | | This is 2008 AD other wise we wouldnt worry about how old we or the mate was we just bang em on the ol noggin and carry em back to the cave lol but a little more serioulsly i really dont think as man we have evolved just replaced are abilty to hunt game with our ability to hunt money and wealth which in modern terms makes the money men the most powerful just look at our leaders and the likes of bill gates for proof of that i mean honestly could you see these guys taking care of themselves in a real mans world? | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 10:11:18 AM | Maybe they just really like having little people around. I don't know if you meant they want to make new babies. Maybe they(like myself) want to be foster parents.
There are many children out there with no parental figures, who could use the love and guidance of someone who has already raised children, and would like to do it again.
I don't know for sure...just a thought. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 10:20:04 AM | | For the same crazy reason why some women decide to undergo in-vitro at 45 plus. They care more about their wants then what the potential children need. I'm all for people having kids and loving them but no one seems to think about trying to keep up with a teenager when you are at retirement age. Yes, people are living longer but no one can guarantee great health in their 60's or 70's. Plenty of my parents friends are either dead or seriously ill. My folks are in great shape........to be grandparents. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 10:30:32 AM | Either they are;
a) Certifiable window-lickers...
b) Selfish, and just feel the need to prove their virility...
c) Ignorant and refuse to take the impact it may have on the child into consideration...
d) All of the above...
I'll vote 'D'
(although you'll get some men who will profess just how much they love their partner and want nothing more than to fill them with their seed in order to sprout a child so they'll have a part of him forever, even after he passes... yeah, well... IF the old codger schtooping the 18 year old doesn't die of a stroke during the process, the 18 year old better make sure they are the sole beneficiary in the last Will and Testament at the soonest opportunity - why else would an 18 year old be on her back for a 56 year old man...? haha) | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 10:33:29 AM | We all know that it's usually the Mother who has most of the responsibility in raising a child, so unless she's young enough to accept the challenge, and the Father is able to contribute financially and is willing to do his share, then let them do what they want. I know several young kids who were just teenagers when their parents died, so they have a tough go of it, but other family members have taken them under their wing and life goes on. To each his own, but I think they should consider what is best for the kids first.
Pink | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 11:09:02 AM | I think men in their fifties would make good fathers over all but...
Men should be aware of age-related problems in sperm.
Older men have an increased risk of having a child with abnormalities.
Yes I know you menpeople think that there is no age limit for men when it comes to fathering a child. However new evidence shows that the rates of birth defects such as achondroplasia (short stature) and autism is higher among children of older fathers. FYI
I also found a study that shows older fathers are far more likely to have children with schizophrenia.Men aged 45 to 49 were twice as likely to have children with schizophrenia as men under the age of 25 who became fathers, while the risk tripled for men over the age of 50.The study suggests that a man's progeny are going to be healthiest if he has his children during his early 20s. Whereas older women seem to have a greater likelihood of having a Down syndrome child, older men tend to father children with dwarfism and some other chromosomal defects. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 1:20:58 PM | I have no idea, but if they already have children, it would seem they could be happy to help with their grandchildren when they came along.
I think most men or women in the 50's could live long enough to get a child to adulthood, just not sure why they would want to. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 1:41:03 PM |
Can someone explain to me, why would men over 50 who already have children would like to have more children? Probably because some people have children for the children's sake, not to say "been there, done that", or for a single urge to reproduce.
It realy puzzled me... don't you know (they know) that this is a 20 year contract Pretty difficult to miss that one for a 50-year-old. A 25-year-old can get away with being a deadbeat, by moving house every six months. For the same reason, a 25-year-old doesn't want to have kids yet, because he wants to have the freedom to move around. A 50-year-old is looking to have a stable home life, so he cannot afford to be a fugitive from the law, so he needs to pay maintenance if the relationship breaks up. So a 50-year-old man is far MORE likely to accept that kids are a 20-year contract, than a 25-year-old.
and more than likely will be dead before their child reach the age of maturity. Well, things have changed a lot in the last 60 years. In the 1950s, men lived to 60. Now, many men live to 100+. However, this may give you an idea:
The researchers estimate that a 70-year-old man who did not smoke and had normal blood pressure and weight, no diabetes and exercised two to four times per week had a 54 percent probability of living to age 90. However, if he had adverse factors, his probability of living to age 90 was reduced to the following amount:
-- Sedentary lifestyle, 44 percent
-- Hypertension (high blood pressure), 36 percent
-- Obesity, 26 percent
-- Smoking, 22 percent
-- Three factors, such as sedentary lifestyle, obesity and diabetes, 14 percent
-- Five factors, 4 percent http://www.physorg.com/news121970915.html
So if you are 70, and you live healthily, you have a better than 50/50 chance of reaching 90! Can you imagine how much more likely a 50-year-old man would be to live to 70, if he lives healthily?
And how much can you really contribute to the child at that age when they are going through a life change themselves? What life change is a man going through at 50? He's established himself in his career. He's done his time, playing the field, and if he hasn't, he has no expectation of doing it now. He's past immaturity. He's at a point where he's settled.
But a 25-year-old is still finding himself.
I ask you why would you not want a 50-year-old man to have kids? Because he cannot run around after them? Why would a kid run around? What sort of kid doesn't pay attention to his parents? Only a kid who feels like he is already being ignored. Why would a kid be ignored? Could it be because his parents are both too young to know how to deal with people, and kids as well? Why would a person not know how to deal with people? Could it be because he is still too young to know how to deal with people? | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 2:02:38 PM | I think many of us when we get to our 50's have a desire to make up for missed opportunities, and follow our passions in life, whether it's career choice, pursuing a talent, or raising children. I know several men, who, even though they had children, felt they missed out on meaningful family life because they were too busy at the office earning money to pay for all the extras that middle-class suburban life seemed to require. Now that they have more time & financial security, they want to give it another try, this time with the priority being to play and coach and enjoy the richness of each moment as their children grow. Of course it's a huge commitment, and not for everyone, but a healthy 50-year old is likely to have 30 good years left.
I'm not saying it would be my choice but I certainly wouldn't judge harshly any man my age who sincerely wants to start a new family, and give his kids the kind of love and attention that they deserve. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 2:20:56 PM |
I know several men, who, even though they had children, felt they missed out on meaningful family life because they were too busy at the office earning money to pay for all the extras that middle-class suburban life seemed to require.
Ms. Curiousity; I basically agree with what you've written. But I've seen men like above, or men who divorce and disappear from their children's lives. I'm concerned for the FIRST children he had, who grew up without a father. Should men really get a set of 'practice children' then another set so they can get it right?
I'm a little touchy on the subject since my kid's father moved away and sees them at his convenience. I had to deal with them crying every night when he first left. Even now, I have to explain why daddy hasn't seen them for 6 weeks. The man who ignores his children will never know the pain he has caused them...imagine how the neglected children will feel when 'daddy' dotes on his second set of kids. | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 2:28:30 PM | They want kids because they can.
From my observation there's an amazing number of men out there that want kids at a very ... um ... mature ... age so they can show the Jones's that they can still get it up. It's proving to the world that their equipment is still in working order.
And it's probably partly denial - if you're still "young enough" to become a dad you can't be old. At least some men think along those lines.
Unfortunately these men don't seem to think how their kid might feel when the other kids ask why they are raised by their grandfather and why their dad never picks 'em up from school... | |
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| Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/20/2008 2:30:52 PM | because they are retarded what else could it be?
Is that what they taught you at "How to become a total b*tch"-school?
Clearly, as a self-proclaimed "social worker" you should be able to use a term like "retarded" in a more sensitive way. | |
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