| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:56:05 AM | | i tell ppl that i am single dad with 2 kids and they live with me fulltime .when i meet them that way if they got problem with you being single parent and walk away .then the person was not rite for you or your kids i had one woman say thats ok i dont mind . then said her son lived with her and saw his dad 1 day every 2 weeks and that i see to mutch of my kids and if we start dating there mum woud have to take my kids full time and i take them 1 day every 2 weeks . and all kids shoud live with there mum . i am told i easy/realy laod back guy . but i told her to go and take a rite good f*ck to herself and how dare she tell me to give up my kids full time as all kids need a stable life and thats what i am giving them . so i woud say t if you meet someone it prob be best to tell them you got a kid . | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:18:30 AM | Ummmmmmmm Ok why would you wait to tell the person who you are interested in. I think telling someone the first time you start chatting is the best. My little boy's the world to me and if i left that out i believe that's leaving a very important part about myself. We as single parents who are on these dating site shouldn't be afraid to tell people we have kids. If it turns that person off "oh well" his or her loss.
Enjoy being a single parent and be proud of it. I dealt that person is going to dislike you anymore if he or she's really is interested. Just because we are single parents doesn't make us less datable!!   | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:37:44 AM | | I tell them right upfront in my first or second email.... it is amazing the number you never hear from again. I guess you could say it saves a lot of wasted time & emotions oh and the keyboard dosen't get worn down as fast. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:05:04 AM | | Agreed if you're not ready for a serious relationship, why bother worrying about it. Fun is fun and no one needs to get hurt especially your child. If you want a relationship, tell them right off it is who you are. If they can't accept that I'm a single parent then I don't want to be with them anyways. I am a package deal and would accept that if they were. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/23/2008 3:34:32 PM |
If they can't accept that I'm a single parent then I don't want to be with them anyways.
Women I've dated with children many times had there child with them when we met. It was not really any suprise. But if you don't have them, or the child with you then I'd mention it through casual conversation. Like I had to take my child to the dentist the other day and so on. I can tell you that if you are okay with it a lot of guys without kids would be too. At least that's what I've learned through dating women with children. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:59:40 PM | | I tell men up from that i'm a mom, its part of who i am. My thought is that if it does turn into something serious then they know from the get go, but i don't let my son meet anyone i am talking to. If they run because i have a kid then it wasn't worth my time to get to know them anyways. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/25/2008 6:32:02 AM | Hi theysayimcute
I feel you must be honest right from the start. They either like you for your honesty or they can get lost. People should take you as you are and not just a one night stand. You come as a package with your children so you have to go 50/50 with everything its give and take. Get to know someone first before anything goes then you will know if that person is genuine or not, then take things from there. Bye for now Chris. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/26/2008 12:52:19 AM | I love my kids and they come first, so I tell them straight and up front about them.
Either they will have no problem with children or they will end it right there.
No harm done and no one hurt. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:02:29 AM | | Well your so right! I think You nailed it right on. I hope we can get a chance to chat cause you really are very appealing to me. My name is Ricardo and its a pleasure to meet you. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/27/2008 9:03:55 AM | | you need to be up front with whomever you meet because people dont like suprises just starting a new relationship thats not good.thats why i'm up front with woman i let them know right off the bat about my children.well goodluck and just be honest with these men | |
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exable
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Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 39 | |
| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/27/2008 10:30:35 AM | | I tell women right off the top. Its also fair to them. I wouldn't want someone to keep it a secret from me then spring it on me some day. Not cool. I just let them know i have kids and that they do come first. one thing i do is NOT let them meet my kids for awhile. not good to have your kids meeting all these people you are dating. i have only let my kids meet one or two women over the last 2 years. i dont want my kids to get close to them and then something happen where we break up. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:25:29 PM | I tell them right away...like first few sentences.
My children are part of me and to know me is to know I'm a mother first and foremost.
Gives the people a chance to decide weather or not they want to 'see' a mother or not
I make light of it a little when I do "...thats like my eldest son...oh yah, I'm a mother so feel free to run like hell if you wish, I won't think THAT much less of you...lol...*flirty smile* " | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:31:15 PM | I think you should tell people right away. It's best to be straight forward right away, than to seem like you are trying to "hide" things.
Being open and honest is always the best policy. If they run the other direction, then it's an obvious sign that they're more than likely someone you wouldn't want to be with anyway.
After all... You're always going to have your kid(s), and if they can't accept that, then it's their problem. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/21/2009 8:29:20 PM | Unless you are looking strictly for casual sex, then I can't think of any reason why you would not tell them immediately. Having children is not a minor detail. It is huge. And I don't think a little 'getting to know you' first will alter their feelings one bit if they are someone who knows they do not want to date a single parent. And you could both end up feeling very sad if you really liked each other but that person just can't overcome how they feel.
I have it in my profiles online at the very beginning. And in real life I tell someone (if it's a flirting/potential date type situation) as soon as I can introduce it into the conversation. Everyone is entitled to know where they stand from the beginning.
Women I've dated with children many times had there child with them when we met. Now that I would *never* do. A first date is about me and the other person. I want to be able to get to know them and focus on that and for them to be able to do the same. How is that possible if your kids are there? Sheesh, what are they thinking? | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:08:58 AM | I tell people right away, usually when they ask me about my job. They figure it out pretty quickly when I tell them I'm a stay at home MUM!
Then the fun part, I tell them I've just turned 30 and I have 4 kids!
If they run, they run, who cares?! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:41:10 AM | Since when is having a child bad thing? Or why keep it a secret? Being a single parent is a very hard job, and I think anyone who can raise a child on their own is a very strong individual. I've always been upfront and honest about my child, but I've also been very cautious as to WHO gets to meet my daughter. Thus far, no one. lol. And in your case, bringing a stranger around your child, when you aren't even wanting a serious relationship, I feel wouldn't be the right thing to do. Children are very perceptive and know more than what they let on. I'd be very careful if I were you to avoid disturbing your childs' emotional wellbeing. Yes, let the person know, and if they don't like you because of that, obviously they're the one with the problem, not you. You were honest, there is no harm in that.
The child ALWAYS comes first, not the man/woman. Just be careful ;) | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/22/2009 9:53:15 AM | From all the threads in here STRONGLY pro and con towards single parents, if you are meeting someone who isn't in here and doesn't see that you have them, I'd say immediately when you are saying who you are, the generalities.
some people consider single parents a total and complete waste of their time; so why get in depth with someone with that being an unknown component? Then they can choose to still talk if they are ok with someone with kids; and if they aren't, you find out; you both say thanks for the memories, and neither of you wasted any time.
Just seems like the longer you go without it being said, the more strong the reaction will be when it comes out. It shouldn't be a deep dark secret anyways; they are part of your life, you know? It's all good. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:14:08 PM | | Honesty is the best policy. Usually during the initial conversation is when I bring that up. I'm a firm believer in getting all those deal breaker details out in the open pretty quick. No sense in wasting someone's time if they can't stand kids or wouldn't date someone w/ kids. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/22/2009 7:11:53 PM | | I tell them first thing that i have a little girl, im too proud of her not to tell anyone, if they dont like you having a child, then thats too bad for them, their loss. It drives me to know that there are some men out there that think a child is just an attachment, one they dont have to pay attention to. In response to you want them to know you before they know your daughter, you still should let them know first thing because your daughter is apart of who you are. | |
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