| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/23/2009 8:10:37 AM | | Im also new to dating and dont really like to let any new person in on my personal life. Ive found people dont stick around long enough to even know who you are much less whats most important to you. I keep my daughter seperated from my dating life, I dont want to ever see her hurt. If the guy that im dating shows true intrest in me thats when I let my wall down and get personal with him. Until I have trust for him, the only conversations I have are fun and intresting ones. Its my way of protecting the both of us. Shes the most important person in my life and my world goes around her completely. Id drop any one or any thing just to sit down and watch tinkerbell with her so its not a judgement of how much I love her or that Im ashamed of being a mom because I am not at all. Protect your little ones at all cost, they should never get caught up in your dating life and always come first! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/23/2009 1:04:57 PM | | The fact that I have kids is on my profile. However, I don't introduce them to anyone unless things are looking pretty serious. Kids don't need to see who I'm dating, esp. if it turns out to be just a one or two date thing. | |
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jsmi1
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Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 53 | |
| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/23/2009 11:55:27 PM | | When? ASAP. It's not something that you should try to hide, it should be the first topic of conversation. If they can't deal with it, then there's the door! My kids are my life, pretty much why I joined this site, no time to meet people! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/24/2009 6:08:17 AM | | Oh i totally agree with you!!!! I'm so proud of my son and proud that im his mommy why hide it?? if it scares them away when they find out then all teh better then you dont hurt yourself if you get attached to the guy and then he doesnt return the same feelings when he find out im a mommy!!!! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/24/2009 7:30:55 AM | | idk, if you out and you meet someone casually, you may not need to blurt it out "warning: i have kids" but if you "like" the person and think you want to see them again, you should let them know upfront. it's only fair, to you and them. i dont want to waste time with a person just to find out they are deadset against dating woman with kids. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/26/2009 3:54:45 PM | | I would recommend that you mention the fact sometime during the first date or conversation. It would save you and the date some time if they are not interested in a woman with kids. Same goes for guys with kids attempting to date a woman without kids. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/26/2009 5:55:08 PM | | i tell right away...its not like there the only one in the world...if they cant handle it fine....at least I wont waste anymore time | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/26/2009 8:55:02 PM | | Tell them right away..... do not wait??? I find it easier because if you date them for a while and you end up getting really close and then tell them, if they decide they dont wanna date you because you have a child then wouldnt you have wanted to know earlier? Just tell them right away.... | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/27/2009 4:26:45 AM | Being a single parent is hard enough, we all know it. However when we start to try and find time for somebody else, this becomes hard. I tell all the ladies that I meet that I am a single father of a young lady. If and when we get far enough in our relationship, the lucky partner that I met, will get to meet my daughter. Then the real challeng begins. Do they like each other????
Your child/ren, can be your best allie in finding the right person. Mine is.
A nice quiet day at the park, nothing to serious, to let the other parts of your life mingle together, try to catch their chemistry. See where it goes. If its bad from the start. Then bail fast. | |
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Nay34
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Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 60 | |
| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/27/2009 5:37:32 AM | Honesty is always the best policy!!
Be proud of your children and who you are!! ......You are a MOM!!..... Let them know. If they have a problem with that, wouldnt it be better to find out right off the bat?? They wouldnt be worth dating if they couldnt accept the whole package in the long run.
As you have said that your "not ready for a serious relationship yet" well many of arent, but sometimes it just comes when your least expecting it. We never know when we might me Mr. Perfect (LOL i know that sounds funny, but theres someone meant for all of us).
Just be upfront and honest, I mean you dont have to tell him the second that he asks for your number or vice versa, just when you have a nice conversation with him, let him know that you have children. It will save you any posible problems in the long run! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/27/2009 8:03:10 AM | | i have three children and im only 27!if the guy cant accept that then tough shit really he can just take a run and jump.life dosent always turn out the way you planned.when i married is was for good.and then we had kids.he lost us due to being unable to tell the truth or be faithful.so im a single mum now.but id like to see those guys do what i do!single mums and dads should be proud of there kids and themselves. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/27/2009 7:46:41 PM | I put it out there right away. If he's going to bolt when he finds out, I would rather he does it before it gets emotional. And it's a good way to weed out the losers. If he isn't okay with it when you first meet, he's probably not going to be later. It's not like I'm saying, 'Hi, my name's Amanda. I have a son." It just always happens to make it's way into conversation. My son is a major part of my life and I'm not going to avoid the subject or be ashamed, because I'm not. And if a guy is truly interested in YOU, he will still want to get to know you despite the fact that you have a child. It's not like you're taking your daughter with you on dates!
Hope that helps! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/27/2009 10:35:49 PM | Tell them right from the get-go. I do not date women with children, and if I felt like someone I was dating were hiding it from me and then sprung it on me, I'd be pissed.
That said, this has never happened to me because I am wise and experienced enough now to ask good questions far before ever meeting.
Just my .02 | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/28/2009 7:16:35 AM | 8soldierfalcon8.ive noticed on another post you have put single mums down.perhaps single mums would not be interested in you.why the hell would any woman want a man(if you can call yourself that)like you near there chiildren?great roll model!lol.going out with loons and calling woman cry baby.ob the army hasent done there job right with you,they are supposed to make you men arnt they? | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/28/2009 11:32:57 PM | 8soldierfalcon8.ive noticed on another post you have put single mums down.perhaps single mums would not be interested in you.why the hell would any woman want a man(if you can call yourself that)like you near there chiildren?great roll model!lol.going out with loons and calling woman cry baby.ob the army hasent done there job right with you,they are supposed to make you men arnt they?
I sure hope you're not home schooling.... eek...
I know for a fact that single moms are interested in me because I have friends irl (imagine that) who have children and have asked if I wanted to start something. I get emails online from women with children as well.
Perhaps you should stop being so defensive and vindictive. I actually am a good ROLE (notice the spelling) model, because I believe women should be treated with respect, and I am extremely chivalrous. I also value education and believe that manners help hold society together.
However, I am man enough to admit that I am not ready for children, especially someone else's. If I ever were to date a woman with a child, the father would have to not be in that child's life. I think every kid deserves a mom and a dad. Not a mom, a dad, and another dad on weekends.
Now I will end this by saying, you're -obviously- a VERY intelligent, thoughtful, educated person. What makes you think you're good to have around your kids? Because you spawned them? Any fertile woman can do that.
Think about it.
PS. Most of my battle buddies in the Army were philandering womanizers. The army is not there as a social institute for making gentlemen. It's a government sponsored training ground for killers and those who support killers. You must be mistaking the military for "Charm School". I jumped out of airplanes, went to foreign countries, and served my country. What have you done other than spread your legs, get knocked up, and make nasty posts (using really bad grammar) to thoughtful men?
Before some ladies get upset at me here, I am taking a tone with this person, because she seems to be a woman with kids, as opposed to a mother. There is no more sacred vocation in life than motherhood. I have TONS of respect for mothers. Women who have happened to pop out kids and treat them like expensive pets... I don't respect.
I love and respect true mothers. I am just too immature to date one right now. My friends with children respect and understand my decision. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/29/2009 3:14:15 AM | | you contradicted yourself all the way through that!you respect mums but take the piss out of me saying i have openend my legs one to many times when you dont even know me!i was defending single mums because you DID slate them on another post.all of my kids have one dad!and he is in the army and may not have been a good husband but did risk his life several times in afghan and recieved an award from the queen.the army made him the man he is the amasing dad he is!my eldest is a year ahead in math and a superb reader.as for roll model****head i had a big car accicdent two days ago in which my car flipped upside down.me and my eldest undid our belts and hit the roof of the car.my son said,dont worry mum ill get the door open and get help!an 8 year old so i did something right.then i kicked the hell out of the door while cutting myself on the glass i led on might i add,squeezed through a gap in my door and got my kids out as fast as i could.so i am a damb good roll model.you cant expect any one to tell the biological father to do one because you dont want them around!your living in dreamland.you ob have no morals.oh and if you have single mums as friends then why would you take the piss out of them?as you have in the above and your post i was refering to as they are in the exact same position as me! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/29/2009 7:57:12 AM | | ps i would watch what you say on here ie,people who treat there children like pets!you do not know me and if you did would know my kids are my world,i would die for them.im actually pretty disscusted you said that it shows what kind of guy you are though! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/29/2009 1:50:10 PM |
ps i would watch what you say on here ie,people who treat there children like pets!you do not know me and if you did would know my kids are my world,i would die for them.im actually pretty disscusted you said that it shows what kind of guy you are though!
This is like arguing with an angry monkey. I couldn't even read your first post. It made my eyes hurt after the first two sentences (if you can call them that).
I never said anything about mothers- just about you. Deal with it. You should have been sterilized.
Thank you.
PS. I showed this series of posts to two of my female friends with children, and they were horrified. Actually speechless. I always tell them about the screwed up women I've met with kids... but you really take the cake as a prime example of why stuff like Columbine happens. | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/30/2009 8:58:53 AM | like i have said many of times,you do not know me.you just dont like me because i have an opinion!and you certainly have no room to talk where my kids are concerned.you should never have children,you clearly dont have a clue .so why dont you go back to doing what you do best and stick your head up your backside a little more! | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/30/2009 5:53:50 PM | I have kids, but I'm so protective of the little sods. Its not a case of not telling the person I'm about to meet that I've got kids. I can say that up front. For me its more about not telling the kids I'm dating someone until they become significant to my life.
I need someone to be into me and be there for the duration before I introduce them to my monsters. Kids don't need 800 dads.
Its more relevant with internet dating. We used to meet people down the pub, get to know them, have a few dates, get closer etc etc. With internet dating you meet a complete stranger for a date. Knowing nothing about them means they can know I have kids all they want, but aint gonna meet them.
Harsh, but I guess I care more about my kids than anyone I might meet. Bad thing? Or normal.
T | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 4/30/2009 6:13:42 PM | I am right up front about having kids, the way I see it, if the potential spouse can last long enough to where I am comfortable in allowing her to meet my youngest (The others are grown) and she survives the introduction to my 7 year old daughter, maybe she's a keeper.  | |
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| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 5/2/2009 2:09:01 AM |
like i have said many of times,you do not know me.you just dont like me because i have an opinion!and you certainly have no room to talk where my kids are concerned.you should never have children,you clearly dont have a clue .so why dont you go back to doing what you do best and stick your head up your backside a little more!
I don't like you because you're everything I despise in humanity. I actually prefer to hang out with people who have differing opinions than mine - espeically on politics; and can intelligently relay their thoughts and ideas. So your "opinion" is not the problem.
You, madam, are ignorant. Period. You spawned. You're not a mother. I HIGHLY doubt that a woman with the reading comprehension of a 6 year old is regulating her childrens' TV time and keeping a stern eye on their studies. The way you write is trashy, your pictures are trashy, and even what you say you're looking for is trashy. One of these days you will realize that your deficiencies are the cause of most of your problems. It'll probably be after one of your children excels at school, and won't bring friends home because they don't want anyone to know where they came from. I would make a bet that you're not the type to keep your kids away from someone new you date until you've been with them for a while, either. How many daddies have they had now?
Thank you. I hope to never see you nor your children on Springer in the future. | |
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IRYC21
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Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 75 | |
| when do you tell people you have kids?
Posted: 5/2/2009 5:27:07 AM | I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND, I AM A YOUNG SINGLE MOM TO, I THINK THE BEST TIME TO TELL THEM IS WHEN YOUR TALKING JUST MENTION IT IN A CONVERSATION I ALWAYS MAKE IT A POINT TO SAY THAT IM NOT LOOKING FOR A "DADDY" BECAUSE IM NOT, BEEN THERE DONE THAT, HAD ONE AND SENT HIM ON HIS WAY LOL. I ALSO MAKE IT A POINT TO SAY IM DOING JUST FINE RAISING HIM ON MY OWN BUT I JUST FEEL I NEED SOMEONE FOR ME NOW, YOU KNOW? THIS HAS WORKED FOR ME OVER AND OVER BECAUSE THEN YOU GET INTO A LITTLE CONVERSATION ABOUT IT AND YOU CAN BASICALLY EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL MOST GUYS REACT WHEN A WOMEN SAYS SHE HAS KIDS AND THAT YOUR LOOKING FOR SOMEONE DIFFERENT WHO WILL LOOK PAST THAT AN WANNA BE WITH YOU. ITS EASY TO WORK A GUYS MIND LOL. I PRETTY MUCH HAVE MASTERED IT LOL JUST GOTTA KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THEM LOL | |
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