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I'll say it again, if you allow yourself to need from someone,

...you are dependent upon that person for whatever that need may be. You have handed that person power. You are now subject to that person's whims.

Congrats. You're deserving.

Human families don't need men to provide anymore. Most of us don't live in agrarian societies.

I read recently, there was a time when there were clear distinctions between what men and women did and in this way by playing to their respective strengths, labour was divided up and this caused both to specialise at what they could do best. It concluded, the biggest advantage man had over the Neanderthal, was in the skills that woman did, by gathering, making clothes, cooking and so on.

You bring out every freakin maternal instinct in me and make me wanna do some serious drinking, but thanks. :)

And based on my pontificating on the topic, I think its because if we pick someone who is needy, it allows us to ignore our own faults and weaknesses, help 'the other,' and still pat ourselves on the back.

The truth about real freedom and independence is a frightening idea to most and the path to it is rife with peril. But if you achieve it, the rewards are remarkable.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." Rudyard Kipling

Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being. Without interrelation with society he cannot realize his oneness with the universe or suppress his egotism. His social interdependence enables him to test his faith and to prove himself on the touchstone of reality. ~ Gandhi

Independent thinking alone is not suited to interdependent reality. Independent people who do not have the maturity to think and act interdependently may be good individual producers, but they won't be good leaders or team players. They're not coming from the paradigm of interdependence necessary to succeed in marriage, family, or organizational reality. ~ Stephen Covey

And I contend that need is a weakness. They need to be kept at a minimum. The basic needs are shelter, food and water. If you keep your needs to that very basic level and provide them for yourself, life will be happier. Everyone desires or wants other things, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just keep it on the level of a want and not a need because the rewards are no greater when fulfilled, but you are risking more with a need than a want.

‘Course, you’re not able to ever experience Real Freedom, or not as far as this stranger on the internet can see.

IMO, Interdependence is a much healthier way-of-being, where you very much own yourself and are able to be with and relate with other people well. It is, again my considered opinion, how we function best and it is through the lessons one must learn to be interdependent (some of which are humbling) that one becomes self-actualized. Bit of a paradox. I’m not explaining this as clearly as I’d like..I might come back to this later… my thinker has been on overload the last few days, and there’s a thought rattling around in there that refuses to form.

So, your need to be independent is a weakness?

The thing is-- when it comes to needing people, you don't recognize that it was lacking until you've been together for quite a while.

We like to be listened to just as you do, we like to feel needed just as you do and many of the so called strong willed independent women make it abundantly clear that they do not need a man