| Weeding out gold diggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/23/2008 4:12:39 PM |
My girl and I have no problem with an evening at one of our homes
That's because you are dating ,boyfriend and girlfriend,in an exclusive relationship.This is an entirely different thing then meeting a stranger from the Internet for the first time.Sure of course once you are dating each other hanging out at each others homes making dinner and watching a DVD is great ,but not for a first meet.
Also, in my experience, people who need to be "doing" something to have a good time usually aren't that interesting, they use being active as a shield to hide a bland personality.
We are all always doing something even if that something is sitting on a park bench drinking a coffee and chatting.
The net is a great tool to meet people, but remember that shallow, boring, judgmental, and unattractive people have just as much access as anyone.
Apparently this is true. | |
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_JAFO_
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Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 52 | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/23/2008 4:50:55 PM | I too have had men invite me to their homes on the first meeting, which I find not only scary but funny. One does have to wonder if they are only showing us they only want to possibly get laid or are they cheap? Or both?
Yeah, Nona37, you are gonna take a bit of it for this. Of course, when a man invites a woman into his house for a first meeting, there are only two choices...too cheap or wanna get laid.
Good grief. Talk about shallow and ill-informed. And over-generalizing. You must be a really good date. NOT.
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/23/2008 4:52:36 PM |
Anyone who would go to a strangers house that they met off the internet for the first time is a nut.
Agree. An even bigger nut than the one asking in my opinion.
i knowwwwwww! he went all switchy on me
and even in the midst of callin me a b*tch and so on - he was simultaneously tellin me i'm sexy n he luvs my attitude i'm like wtf ?
Along with the theme from the “Twilight Zone” playing in your head as you were reading his email I bet.
Don’t sweat it. Many of us have gotten the Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hides and it doesn‘t matter if you meet them here, other sites or even away from the Internet. You are sweet, beautiful, sexy and amazing until you don’t jump at the chance to meet or give your number to them after chatting for 5 minutes, meet them in a parking lot at 11 pm or go home with them at 3 am or even wanting to meet or go out with them period. All of sudden you are paranoid, a ****, ugly , fat or some other superlative. | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/23/2008 5:44:16 PM | Seems like lots of folks are saying the same thing here.
I personally don't understand a first meeting -or date - in someon's home! Sounds crazy to me. Here in the L.A. area it is easy to meet in public, and sooooooooo much safer... you really NEVER KNOW! Yet I was chatting with a guy last night... told me he had a "hot date" tonight with a woman he's been chatting with online for 2 and 1/2 weeks, (they've never met) and what FLOORED me was this woman invited him to her house for dinner in front of the fireplace!!!
I didn't even consider giving him my phone number at this early stage! lol
Different strokes for different folks, I guess, but safety IS a real issue.
Peace and be safe all.
p.
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:33:36 PM | ah, those are the guys who never learn. Dating actually is a good way to improve one's social skill! But looks like he doesn't read the news or is so selfishly concerned about his 'pot' that he has to ask this right away!!
and guys who exhibit the least sign of unstability, I am running the other way
OP was generous in accepting to meet him. I would have just ignored him for being such a jerk!
I am to the point where I'm stating in my date section that we can go dutch.
I wonder how guys would take 'we meet and go dutch'? | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:14:04 AM | mmm hmmm
i don't remember who said it, but a few posters said I should've been the bigger person and accepted his apology? puh leaze
i feel like he has psychological issues/hangups from past rel'ships girls. i'm surprised some of you think he was broke the way he was flaunting his 'trust fund' but i guess that makes sense. means he's coming INTO money, not that HAS it lol!
i haven't heard back from him, but i am very glad i followed my gut with him i knew sumthin was a lil OFF from the jump so there you have it!
K. | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/24/2008 6:28:55 AM | Wow... He's a real winner, eh????? No loss there.
NO WAY would I ever go to the guy's home for the first several dates if I didn't know them previously in the real world.... | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:10:06 AM | Cmon, we all know the the dating scene is a big circus and most initial emails usually are just for entertainment purpose, until an actual meet is done it is just a bunch of blah blah blah...
I agree it can be a lil scary but I also think the paranoia is a bit out of control.
I have a massage therapy business and I do outcall, meaning I go to client's homes sometimes.
I guess I am a stranger to these new clients until after the first session but yet I still get many new clients requestiing home visits( yes , female clients)
Back to the dating thing and POF..besides the usual meeting somewhere for coffee and interrogation, I have met women for the first time at my home or my massage studio and even at thier homes ....of course we have had some long phone conversations over a length of time before meeting.
Some of these "dates" are still friends even though no other connection was pursued.
Maybe I just give off a trusting vibe or something? | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/24/2008 2:06:35 PM |
i feel like he has psychological issues/hangups from past rel'ships girls. i'm surprised some of you think he was broke the way he was flaunting his 'trust fund' but i guess that makes sense. means he's coming INTO money, not that HAS it lol!
Of course, he could also have been lying about the trust find and just be scrambling to say anything that would convince you to keep the date. A true psychopath. | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 2/24/2008 2:28:02 PM |
saying he isn't cheap, he has a TRUST FUND
Your instincts were likely right on cue. Anyone who has a 'Trust Fund" usually hasn't earned it, nor knows how to handle money.
By his reaction, it seems this fella has many more serious issues. Be thankful some POF suckerfish, weed themselves out.
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:42:47 AM | I too have an issue with gold diggers... haven't figured out yet how to avoid them - they seem to find me.
Soundslike this guy took it way too far and maybe needs to get some help.
I dated a gold digger who for almost a year ACTED like she could care less about what i had, what i made or what I owned... then I find out (a week before she's going to move in with me) that she's been telling all her girlfriends about her scheme to move in, get pregnant and eventually tkae me to the cleaners - she even thought she'd get the house! Needless to say, thanks to one of her friends liking me, I found out and ended it.
I went to counseling though to deal with my anger nad dis-trust. it isn't easy to get over because she wasn't even who i thought she was, she lied to me for a year!!
So bringing a girl to your house isn't going to help - they could just lie, pretend they don't care and silently add up the profits.
Only way to really get rid of gold diggers?? Co-Habitation agreement. And Marriage Contract. Two things gold diggers hate to hear about.
Any woman that wants me will have to sign a co-habitation agreement before she moves in and a marriage contract before we get married.
My lawyers already created the draft documents so that I'd know that it would take only one call to get one ready for her to sign.
If you want me, you get me - mind, body and soul - but you ain't getting my money. The only way i'll trust again is if she shows me she loves me for who I am not what I am. | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:56:26 AM | thats comical he expects a women who has never met him before to risk going to his place on the first meeting for a date..
even if he came across gold diggers in his past no excuse to expect a women to trust him that much on a first meet...
i'm broke all the time and don't want any man to spend a lot on me either...a first date can be simple as going to tim hortons and getting a coffee and going to walk...doesn't have to be in a 5 star restaurant.... | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 9:21:35 AM | One of my mottos is "better safe than sorry". If we go out to dinner at an inexpensive restaurant and then part ways, he may be out a few dollars for gas and maybe $30. If we share a mutual interest and we meet at a free concert, at the park, or at the gym, it should be "no harm, no foul".
However, if I meet the wrong person at his house, I could be risking my life or my safety. A guy would have a better chance asking me to take him out to dinner than he would asking to have the first meeting at his house. | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:14:29 AM | Women have a rep as golddiggers and men have a rep as horn dogs. You have to have a plan to get past both of them if you want a long term happy relationship.
Since the male typically pays for the first meet/date I no longer waste money on dinners and insist on a lunch or drinks for first meet. I prefer to meet rather quickly and get past all the deal breakers right away. I understand womens safety issues and women need to understand mens issues. Not liking them should not come into play because you can't change them so you have to deal with them.
Good move on your part. Next time maybe suggest he cook dinner for you once you know each other much better.
If you not interested in a mans money maybe you could suggest a reasonable priced place and/or going dutch. If men suggest either they could be labeled as cheap.
Just my two cents! | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:35:17 AM | | Here is my take on this subject. If a man can't invest a few bucks to buy a girl dinner when he first meets her, I don't imagine he would invest much of himself into a relationship, if things started heating up nicely. | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 69 | |
| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 12:02:57 PM | GET AWAY FAST!
thats what ted bundy would do too! think about it! SAFETY FIRST, baby doll
i get the type that gets offended that i dont invite them over to MY house on first meeting.
and i am thinking... do u think i am THAT stupid????????????????
thats how u end up in a body bag, trust me, baby doll, don't EVER do it.
as for this guy.. STAY AWAY.
i've been doing online dating for over seven years, and one of the most valuable lessons i learnt thru time is how valuable conversation is. those unstable and bipolar are the ones u should weed out first, thats the first psycho dynamic easy to find on here. him going off like that is an immense RED FLAG, get out, cut it off, say good riddens.
u learn a lot about someone fr0m how they communicate, and knowledge is power. he is dangerously unstable and ignorant about right vs wrong when it comes to dealing w people
NEXT | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 1:01:52 PM | a first meet for coffee is the best. or if she's feeling fiesty, -daytime activities are a great way to get to know someone (hiking, rollerblading, walking, pool) you get to know so much more about them -then just sitting in a restaurant eating. -you tend to take off your proverbial "masks" when your out getting sweaty and dirty on a dusty trail or rolling down a sidewalk in a park. -until she crashes into the metal trash can or trips over a rock flinching from a startled jack rabbit -then you can sit and talk while in the urgent care waiting room. (maybe she'll let you hold her ice pak). -of course then you'll have to take her for a nice burger afterwards (one of those fancy build it yourself burgers at the gourmet burger shop) if she calls you again after that -the afternoon wasn't a complete disaster | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 1:38:32 PM | I always thought that the guy should pay on the first date no matter what. Inviting someone to your house seems rediculous on so many levels.
A good dinner at a nice resturant is a great ice breaker and a win/win. If things just dont click. So what! You are simply out the price of a dinner and may have made a friend. I "file" the dinner into the "nothing ventured,nothing gained "file and move on. I have had many great dinners that lead no where romatically ,but lead to some great friendships.
Do people really "use" others for a meal? It seems like a crazy way to get a meal | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/4/2008 2:55:32 PM | | I would not go to a man's house only talking to him via email. Come to think of it I would rather my first few dates be in public anyway. I want to see how they act in a public place. I have other reasons which I will spare all. | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/7/2008 6:10:42 AM |
So is this the new thing now?
GUYS ASSume every girl is out for their money, their riches, their gold so they're tryna test to see if she's a golddigger or not by offering a home date?
Wtf is up with that?
Why is it, when ONE man does something, then it is assumed ALL men are the same ?
There is NO confusion, as each man is an individual, and it takes time to communicate and UNDERSTAND him.
I am not your EX, I am not your son, I am not the the last guy to break your heart, rip you off or was rude to you.
GIVE ME A BREAK !
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/7/2008 9:37:37 AM | mary janes space I am not sure if u r aware of this or not but there is something wrong with ur pic.on another note,I think folks should lighten up just a little bit.I mean whatever happened to just going out with another and exchanging a little lite conversation and then him bringing u home and trying to kiss u gn to which u simply reply it is to soon but u agree to a lite kiss on the cheek?C'mon guys bring back the art of gentlemenness and ladies put ur flirt eyes back on and stop peering at each other and sizing up a potential victim pls........Don't even try to tell me that this isn't what alot of u want because I read the post and u guys as well as girls want to fall in love and u know u do so put ur nice face on and get real. | |
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| Weeding out golddiggers with a home-date? WTF?
Posted: 3/7/2008 10:11:18 AM | | I'm not sure about gold diggers, but meeting someone at their home the first time is such poor decision making. Kudos to you and glad you didn't waste any more time. | |
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