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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 9/25/2006 3:50:52 PM | | Porn is a totally normal intest for men. Men are by nature very visual, most but not all women are not. I am intelligent enough to know that it doesn't have anything to do with how good the women in the pornos look, it's the visual stimulation the men crave. If women were taught more about normal male psychology we might as a rule be better equipped to handle our men watching porn on an intellectual level. Personally, I get slightly aroused by porn myself and I have no problem in buying a new one I think my partner will like and popping it in the DVD player so it's on when he comes in, then keeping my head out of the way so he can see it. It has nothing to do with me, it's just added visual stimulation. | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 9/25/2006 5:12:18 PM | | i wouldn't give a heck. alot of people still look at porn. i think a major part of the argument is whether you spend more time with the porn than with your significant other. | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:08:33 AM | I feel that bringing porn into a relationship or allowing it to continue is one of those choices that couples must make for themselves. My own personal experiences have been wonderful and have had no issues with them,....rather have enjoyed them...hee....he.......
When you are in a long term relationship or any relationship it is important to satisfy one another,.....and bringing porn into play,.from my experiences has been alot of fun... Iam a very erotic woman and know that men are stimulated by sight first and foremost,....so why the hell not,..........if you do not want to allow porn into the bedroom,....I hope that you at least dress sexy for your man and allow him to enjoy you the way that he might otherwise have enjoyed the porn. | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:39:24 AM | OP - Porn is right or wrong depending on the couple. Individual sexual activities either work or dont work based on the players in that individual realtionship. What methods, sensual stimulations, positions, toys, foreplay, etc - do you and your partner like, enjoy, find stimulating, laugh and talk about? That is where this question belongs - together with your partner - in the bedroom. The whole idea of intimacy is personal, special and a gift between you and your partner. It really doesnt matter what the rest of the world thinks - its all about what you the 2 of you think? What makes your intimacy hot? It should be about keeping things hot, steamy and interesting. Who cares what other people think - you should be enjoying what you have and know that you wake up most mornings with a pretty nice smile on your face and are happy most of the day, because of the passion in your life that you share with your partner.
I will share something that may help you change your thinking about this topic. I was once in a comitted relationship and during one weekend, when my partner stayed the night, it was bedtime. I was preoccupied with thoughts of other things going on in my life, and turned down a sexual offer, just because I didnt think my heart would be in it. Well my fella asked if it was ok if he put on some porn as he had a new video that he hadnt seen yet, and I said ok, and that I would read. Well being in that bed with a hot man, listening to the video, and occassionally looking up from my book - made reading very difficult - as my mind wasnt on reading or my preoccupied thoughts to the same degree they were when I entered that bedroom, for very long. The movie wasnt hot or exciting, what happened was it stimulated my thoughts to think about how hot our relationship was and it didnt take long before we were cuddling as while I was reading, my fella turned to me when he saw I had finished a chapter and said while he stroked my leg "how's the book honey, boy this satin feels nice, do you still fell like reading?" Then he leaned over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Well, we had our own porn going on that night................
Its all about perception.........enjoy your sensuality, sexuality and each other........let those who are worried about if porn is right or wrong deal with the issue...........dont you have better things to be doing with your partner????????  | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:52:43 AM | | porn is up to the couple so is foreplay postions and what ever makes the sex better and hotter with each other .just enjoy each other have fun keep it interesting | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:54:17 AM | | If you and your partner cant enjpy porn apart and together.. .then the 2 of you need to find people who are similar... But i doubt there are many men who dont look at some form of pornography. | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 8:56:40 AM | Any women who jealous of an inanimate object (porno DVD/VHS) is a scary deal anyway.
VIVA Porno Gyals. | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 635 | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 9:21:42 AM | Like all things it is what you make of it ... if it works ... Great if not ... then don't but the right and wrong question is so subjective ...
Personally, I have nothing against it and i have had it benefit relationships in the past. But now it is not a big deal with me as I have come to accept hings about myself and what i want out of my sex life. And those are things not requiring porn to make me happy.
But with saying that I do often wonder why it is such a ego defacing issue with some women? If my S/O is getting hot watching a Ricky Martin video and I get upset ?? I would get called jealous or lacking self esteem. Now before anyone goes off here ... the obvious agruement is that Ricky is not having sex ... But the fact is he presents that act just not in graphic detail ... So really what is the difference, besides one gets shown on MTV ?
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 9:23:17 AM | | It's normal, and hopefully a tool to be used to enhance the experience for both parties. | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 9:43:09 AM | Walking In Memphis - I would like to respond to your last post.
I know the reason why so many women are againts porn is because of the way women were taught about "how a lady should act". Many young women grew up hearing that "its not nice to touch yourself" and from that how could a young girl every feel comfortable pleasuring herself? From that it opens an entire world of problems with women and their sexuality. Until the show Sex & The City - many "nice" women wouldnt talk openly about sex or their sexuality. Many women dont know what they like a man to do to please them in the bedroom, as they have never pleasured themselves. While I believe men have been servicing themselves since they were in the womb (I do remember seeing a photo where that was shown) 
In addition, many young women were often discouraged to watch porn and told that "nice women didnt watch that stuff - only perverted men do" and as they heard that from people they trusted, and believed it. Also, when you think about porn and look at some of it - there is a an element in some films that are very disrespectful to women and others where the women are treated badly. Personally, I like and dont mind watching porn, but I wont watch anythng that is disrespectful to anyone in the film. That might be why a Ricky Martin video turns your S/O on - it could be a form of stimulation that is not porn in her mind? | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 10:03:30 AM | That is is something else I was going to discuss as well ... And I do not mean that eveyone that is a woman is adverse to watching porn but you do make a valid point on the fact that a great number of women have been taught that self sexual expression is " wrong" and or unnatural. All i can say is that it is a terible shame.
I have been with women that are my age that have yet to have an orgasm ... How the hell is that fun ??? And they think porn is an issue ???
As for the Ricky Martin thing ... I do not have a S/O currently ... so that is of no consequence. But the reason for bringing it up is that women are still visually stimulated but it by subtle means that allude to romance and passion versues the male respense of screw first ask questions later ... lol
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 1:12:03 PM | Walking In Mpmphis - I agree that it is not all women who are against watching porn and I also agree that it is a shame that so many women are not in tune with their sexuality. Unfortunately too many women 30 and older have not experienced an orgasm. I have some girlfriends who get embarrassed when we are out shopping and I want to check out new lingerie and/or toys at a sex shop. There is absolutely no fun for men or women in these cases.
I am sorry about the Ricky Martin thing and my assumpution that you had a S/O - totally wrong on my part.
I also agree that women, like men are visually stimulated - eventhough many women deny it. I find many women get the visual stimulation and then switch gears and start associating the man in question with romance, passion and start thinking relationship - while men (as my daughter so delicately put it) are like "tw*t seeking missles" who search/conquer and then survey the damage. Interesting visual there........dont you think? 
Anyway, excellent thread - great responses from many people. | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 1:42:20 PM | .... who cares it's all good! 
I mean - hey why not?? I just always hated the cheezy music in the background
Ba ba ba chinga chinga ba ba ba chinga chinga pow powwwoww | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 3:22:21 PM | i dont see anything wrong with porn in a relationship serious or not, fact is i think it makes it more interesting lol surely its better to slip into some thing more comortable and relax with your partner than get all hung up on the fact hes watching porn, its a fantasy thing, men and women both fantasise after all (firemen , policemen, army uniforms, hard hat, dirty overalls, batman, superman, gladiator, Mel Gibson in a kilt god my list could go on and on) do i need  ??????? maybe but surely its better to join in and be daring than  or  about it | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/5/2006 5:04:37 PM | | We watch together. It makes for some interesting sessions afterwards. Plus I've learned a thing or two from watching..... | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/7/2006 8:41:21 PM | porn depends on the couple... if you have been together and trust each other porn is great to learn new and exciting ways to fullfill each others wants, needs, fantasys, et keeps things exciting and new. thats why most go else where the same ol same ol gets borring after years. but the man or woman has to think about the others feelings durring this...... now some people when meeting go see porn in video booths on a date but that relationship never lasts. there only after one thing. i wouldnt say watch porn daily but once a month or so buy a tape throw some veriety in the sex life. you and your partner will love it.. remember we were born nakid.. unless some one knows differently. i didnt have jeans and a shirt on when i was born ;;lol... have fun and keep it safe folks.. | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/9/2006 6:37:04 PM | I guess it depends how often you watch it.
If you still have an active healthy sex life with your partner then No there is no problem with it.
If you aren't being intimate with your partner and just watching porn then you might have a problem.....
BUT it's great to add to a healthy relationship ... *wink wink*
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/9/2006 7:37:10 PM | My last relationship, my girlfriend looked up porn, eventually getting horny and comes looking for me.
She also "accidentally" left a porn video type at my place.
I never quite caught on until now, 7 months after we broke up.
Some mornings she sleeps in late, leaving me all alone for hours on end, I learned to not try waking her up. During those lonely hours, I go looking for internet porn | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/10/2006 5:44:17 AM | Porn is perfectly healthy; a lot of couples like watching it together... as a turn on, or to get ideas...
Additionally men are very visual regarding sex... and porn is an outlet for them... I know alot of guys would be probably be tempted to cheat on their GFs if they didn't have porn as an outlet
DK | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/10/2006 9:35:29 AM | dknickerbocker - I am curious why a guy would need to watch pron v.s cheating on his gf.
If this is the case and she is not satisfying his sexual appetite then dont you think they should not be in a relationship together - as over time, the porn will not do it and he will eventually cheat on her? Wouldnt it be healthier for a man to choose a gf that could satisfy his sexual desires in a true partnership. I am wondering what deficiencies he would bring to this relationship if his gf would not be wanting more of him sexually. I know for myself if things are good in the relationship - I have never turned down sex with my partner. | |
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| Porn in a relationship
Posted: 12/10/2006 12:51:29 PM | Porn in a relationship can be a fantastic tool that adds just another realm of possibilities. We use it on occasion to stimulate fantasies and sometimes just for some new and different ideas or positions we have not yet tried. It can also be a way of maintaining fidelity and assuring your lover doesnt stray by providing different visual stimulation, as we all know men are primarily visual creatures...and as far as I know there is not a sexually active woman who hasn't fantasized about someone other than the man they are with.
We also occasionally look at porn online for the phreak factor, there are some very disturbing things out there; however, to each their own on this one. | |
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