| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:03:43 AM | hmmm, So he tells the woman he loves that it isn't serious and he is just having fun and seeing other women, but all the other "lesser" women don't know about each other?
As for making unattractive women feel beautiful, WHAT A VILLIAN!! lol Some women in this situation may feel that it is a quid pro quo situation. They are getting loved and adored for a price. Happens all the time. He is just a Gigolo!
I don't know. I have a guy friend that is like this. Puts it out there for the world to see. He doesn't mislead women and is honest to a fault so it peeves me when people call him a coward, player, user etc.... These women know from the start EXACTLY what kind of man he is. Is it his fault they refuse to believe him or worse yet, think they can change him?
Reminds me of the Rattlesnake and the little girl. "You knew exactly what I was when you picked me up."
Men/Women can only treat you as badly as you allow them to. No one can abuse you without your permission. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:04:53 AM | Vasily...
That is the sad thing about this type of man. He is very much out there and good women fall for this as he does seem genuine.
What the long term effects are is hurtful to us all.
Nice men who want nice women get nice women who have been damaged by these kinds of men. Now, you have to put up with trust issue barriers from these women. Now you have to put up with anger about men from these nice women. Now you have to put up with skeptical women who make you walk the hot line before they look at you a second time.
So, please don't blame the women. Look at the sociopaths that have damaged so many nice women. Then, you nice men out there can try a little harder to gain the trust of some us gun-shy women. I can certainly say that I am a nice, good-hearted woman who has a lot to give to the right man. But...he has to earn my trust. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:30:30 AM | Greysam...
If the guy outright admits he's playing her and she is still there, then yes, your last sentence is right on.
But....
As quoted by OP :"
In the beginning, he contacts them a lot, pays them constant compliments, listens to them and is very attentive (the very things which capture a woman's heart). The next thing he knows, they're putty in his hands. He doesn't mean any of these compliments or if he does to some degree, they are grossly overexaggerated. He just knows how to play them so that they will give him what he wants (and that includes many things and not just sex). It's mainly for the attention from them, for his ego, which he obviously craves. He makes them want him, but then when they are smitten and comfortable with him, he tends to back off a little and not make as much contact, and they are probably scratching their heads wondering what the heck happened. He is so good at what he does that he makes women who aren't all that physically attractive, feel absolutely beautiful, but it's all lies. Personally, I think this is a very selfish act, and I don't believe every man is like this. It's probably not even that the women are stupid, it's just that he's a damn good liar."
That is not being honest and up front. Funny thing, these men actually believe what they are saying. My husband took it to marriage. When I look back on it, I really wasn't interested in him at all at first. He literally swept me off my feet with the style of a 50's movie leading man in a b-grade romance. I was innocent and believed this man loved and adored me as he told me many times.
The next day after we got married, then he went into The Wall. The emotional and intimacy that marriage required knocked his sensibilities into kaos. He was not equipped to handle that. Courting and romance was fun. Now what?....He was lost and incapable of even contemplating the day to day of marriage.
Until you walk my shoes and know what we have gone through, then please do not de-ride women who have been through the agonies like I have gone through. Sometimes, in life, things, people and events hurt us and we really didn't choose to have it happen to us, it just did.
is right on.
But, | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 7:48:36 AM | | No disrespect to all of the estrogen-laden responses in this thread, but c'mon ladies, you set yourself up for heartache if you fall for the promises of a player! Can't you recognize a player when you see one? Why do you choose to fall for them? Women play guys too, maybe not quite as often, and maybe in different ways, but surely women are playing men every day. I choose not to date these women players, so why don't women exercise some common sense and make conscious decisions not to give in to the slick sales presentations of these male player types??? Take some personal responsibility instead of BMC-ing about getting played. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 7:57:39 AM | | The women are the reason he can get away with this. No they are not stupid, just don't want to see the truth beause it hurts too bad. opinion | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 8:03:15 AM | Bikeman,
Please! Tell me what a women does as a player?
Yes! All these women have stories to tell...and they at least tell us the strategies of men. But, you men just stay vague ....you accuse...but where is the back-up or justification for your accusations?
It's only fair. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 8:09:29 AM | Wallflower, that's a different thread. Picture a golddigger dating multiple guys simultaneously. Or a woman dating two guys who are friends, playing one off the other. There are lots of different woman-playing scenarios; I'd prefer to stay on topic.
I'd rather teach someone how to fish rather than throw a fish at them. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 8:27:33 AM | NOW I understand why it's so hard to find someone..ALL WOMEN have been worked over by a clown like this one  | |
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MNM08
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Joined: 1/14/2008
Msg: 59 | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 8:48:55 AM | yes, caring2sharing...
I would venture to say that at least 90% of us women have met the smooth operator who tells us what we want to hear, treats us like the way we want to be treated, listens to us, spends time with us, phones us up to say sweet words unexpectedly or to say he was thinking of us. Buys us flowers, treats us special on birthdays, christmases, valentine's day...and the list goes on.
They love the courtship and they do become very nice friends....and we do end up trusting them.
They are not meant for marriage or long-term committment.
The person we fell in love with disappears, physically, mentally and emotionally. All we are left with is a shell.
So, all you nice men out there. Please, be patient and honest and caring. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:06:26 AM | lol Your so right Galon.
This is "Tony" she talking about no doubt.
She should do Like I did after two months of his BS.
Tell him "What ever!- F*CK YOU" | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:31:01 AM | | It is totally inexcusable... decent women put their hearts on the line. No one has the right to come to the table with dishonest intentions. I met a fellow on this site who did exactly that... what a creeper!!! Before he manufactured and ending with me, he was already onto the next. He is back online so... ladies BEWARE!!! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:40:28 AM | wallflower1:
I would venture to say that at least 90% of us women have met the smooth operator who tells us what we want to hear, treats us like the way we want to be treated, listens to us, spends time with us, phones us up to say sweet words unexpectedly or to say he was thinking of us. Buys us flowers, treats us special on birthdays, christmases, valentine's day...and the list goes on.
wow- sounds like he was doing all the work in the relationship and I can't seem to wonder why he would eventually "disappear physically, mentally, and emotionally" if it seems it was all 'take, take, take' on your end of things... | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:50:41 AM | | There are women who will choose men like this, knowing exactly what sort of man he is, and knowing damned well what they are doing. They enjoy the game every bit as much as he does. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:55:14 AM | | there's a name for people like this........commitmentphobe.............can't commit.....very damaging to the victims | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 10:01:35 AM | How would I categorize someone like this? A slut puppy with no conscience or self respect, but oh well. 
Pink | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 10:57:50 AM |
No disrespect to all of the estrogen-laden responses in this thread, but c'mon ladies, you set yourself up for heartache if you fall for the promises of a player! Can't you recognize a player when you see one? Why do you choose to fall for them?
Because, the way to a woman is thru her ears, when they have our ears (head), the b ody follows... And when that rare event happens, we put all our eggs in one basket, giving our all. We don't kow their a player til the boom is lowered.
As quoted by OP :"
In the beginning, he contacts them a lot, pays them constant compliments, listens to them and is very attentive (the very things which capture a woman's heart). The next thing he knows, they're putty in his hands. He doesn't mean any of these compliments or if he does to some degree, they are grossly overexaggerated. He just knows how to play them so that they will give him what he wants (and that includes many things and not just sex). It's mainly for the attention from them, for his ego, which he obviously craves. He makes them want him, but then when they are smitten and comfortable with him, he tends to back off a little and not make as much contact, and they are probably scratching their heads wondering what the heck happened. He is so good at what he does that he makes women who aren't all that physically attractive, feel absolutely beautiful, but it's all lies. Personally, I think this is a very selfish act, and I don't believe every man is like this. It's probably not even that the women are stupid, it's just that he's a damn good liar." See what I mean? He knows how to get thru their ears, to the head, which makes the body follow. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 11:13:39 AM | | I think i dated that man lol, or at least one very like him,he even told me he loved me then changed his mind twice,im gullible with a capital G and beware cos he is still on here!!! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 11:33:32 AM | I would love to have come across this guy because i would have enjoyed putting a MASSIVE dent in that male ego of his lmao
Not all us women are that vulnverable to believe whatever a bloke will say to get his kicks thats why some of us women are strong characters and can tell when we are being played.
This guy must be very insecure and have low self esteem to have to turn to loads of women to feel good about himself also he must be a total ***hole to play with peoples emotions, he may wish to stop it before it all backfires on him one day (which it will) as the old saying goes "what goes around comes around"
I also truely believe that he tells this women he loves her so she will wait for him when he has finished his ego trips with other women - she must either be totally stupid (no offense to her) or desperate! I have a neighbour who is exactly like him and he also thinks that he can charm his way into ever womans underwear.....well that was until he tried his luck with me and if it wasnt for him trying so hard i wouldnt be were i am today (strong willed/minded). You need to seriously tell this guy to quit while he is ahead or tell the woman she needs to get some self-respect and realise she is hanging onto a total loser! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 11:44:10 AM | | blondie1969 - Most of these guys need to be stopped name and shame thats what i say. Lets hope your experience with this guy has made you be more aware of the players on these sites and warn other women against him, there should be a forum where both men and women can go to list all the total scumbags that prey on peoples emotions and can go check them out! Then all the sincere human beings can finally find a decent person on here......always keep an open mind and keep them at arms length til you are sure about them | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 12:42:46 PM | Eghads! Please, lets not turn this into a "we should have an outlet for people like this....we should save one another" thread!!!!
Look...even the biggest azzholes and the biggest bltches, will fiind someone that they are compatible with! And naming names would do NADA at saving heartache for anyone.....because you will always have the people who are gluttons for punshment...who will think that THEY can change a persons ways...who are just attracted to the thrill of the chance.
But yes, these sorts come in both sexes...and if you come across one, then you can only blame yourself for ignoring the red flags and the concerns of friends. Suire...you may think it is LOVE....you may be so desperate for such or feel so unworthy of such that you allow yourself to settle. Point is...instead of bashing and witch hunting the person causing the pain...personal responsibility needs to be taken by the "victim." Almost every one of us has some sort of broken hearted, feels used, story. It is what we take from the experience...what we learn....and not make the same mistakes twice.
I have friends who have done this...they have major trust issues....but what do they do? They move on from person number one....straight into the arms of someone identical...and it is a vicious cycle for them. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 12:46:30 PM |
I'd rather teach someone how to fish rather than throw a fish at them.
Me, I like to smack them upside the head with the fish, then toss the fish back in the lake and tell 'em go fetch.
I'm too much work for the average player to bother with.
But there's a word for the guy described in the OT(and women who behave in the same way); PATHETIC.
These people are damaged, and the constant need to "collect" conquests speaks volumes about a sense of insecurity so deep that it's probably not curable. Surely these people, much as they piss the rest of us off, must have dark hours where they must feel the pain of not being able to forge a deep and meaningful relationship.
It might appear that they are getting away with something, but what is really going on is a neediness that borders on pathological.
Cindy O | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 12:51:39 PM | Sounds like my ex and his group of friends....they chew up women and spit them out like popcorn with hulls. They even share....its a game to them that leave women in their wake quite damaged...these are not stupid women...just hoodwinked. They want to believe there are sweet men out there like they portrait themselves to be...then they wake up from the dream and find a living nightmare. Most in this group of bandits are married too...and the women on both sides are none the wiser. Expose all of them and they wouldn't be able to continue their fun at everyone elses expense. I am glad I survived and that I got out! | |
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tweepz
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Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 75 | |
| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:22:07 PM | "wasting your precious time and energy in a
relationship with a man who's NEVER going to FEEL
much of a deep emotional connection with you...
And he'll NEVER FEEL that "gut-level" reason in
his heart that lets him KNOW that YOU are the
one.
In other words... a man will often keep
withdrawing and become more and more distant if he
ISN'T feeling this "natural and lasting
attraction" on an emotional level with a woman.
And when a man doesn't FEEL these things, it
doesn't matter how good of a person a woman is, or
how hard she tries, or even how beautiful she
is...
NOTHING can "fix" a man or a relationship, when
a man doesn't FEEL these things with a woman.
There's a reason why a man chooses one woman
and not another.
There's a reason why men will say they're "just
not ready for a serious relationship", even when
things are great with the woman they're with.
And there's a reason why a man will date one
woman, tell her he's not ready for a commitment,
and then settle down with the very next woman he
meets.
A man doesn't commit to a woman in a conversation,
or even with his words. It's something he just
FEELS inside and wants for himself.
A man's reasons for committing, or not
committing, are his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.
The "masculine" part of a man has to FEEL like
he is naturally and of his own freewill CHOOSING
to be with a woman.
A man's motivations for commitment are how a
woman makes him FEEL when he's with her.
WORDS and conversations are the
LEAST powerful and effective tools that a woman
has when it comes to love and relationships.
The FEELINGS of ATTRACTION that she can
create, sometimes without even speaking, are
the MOST POWERFUL.
learn how to make a man FEEL,
through experience, that he's BETTER OFF being
with you than being single
Attractive Quality A Man Wants #1) "Emotional Maturity"
Attractive Quality A Man Wants #2) A Woman Who
Supports His "Freedom"
Ask yourself ladies...... "Does he feel like I add to his life and his
freedom?
If a man is going to even start to consider a
woman for a relationship... then there HAS TO BE
a playful element to the way you are together.
Of course, the other element of this female
attitude men are naturally attracted to for
relationships is Independence.
The fello you speak of, has not yet met .."the one". | |
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