| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/12/2008 9:18:38 PM | Umm
i don't think this pattern only belongs to the male species
I've also been the victim of this SAME pattern, in what appeared to be a perfect girl.
it's definitely some type of mental deficiency, or some type of abuse, which may have occured.
i think any person that can toy with other peoples hearts, and show NO REMORSE, is just plain evil | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/12/2008 10:26:02 PM | AMEN cleo and ninth!!! Some of these guys and gals are very good at hoodwinking..it doesn't make us stupid...they are just very clever and become what they perceive you are looking for...in the NPD though they seek you out. We can't walk around mad at everyone just in case they are weirdos...but yes...you need to look for signs and run sometimes...LOL! Thanks Cleo.. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/12/2008 11:04:45 PM | Hi, I am a counselor, and I have seen the emotional pain and mental anguish that this kind of head game player causes. I think it is a challenge for him to get into the bed of many women, just because he can, and once he can get sex from a woman, he has reached his ultimate goal. He has gotten her to love him, both with her heart and her body. Then he dumps her, making her feel used, worthless, and she now has a self-esteem problem.
I think his girlfriend is sick for staying in their relationship. I would be willing to bed 10 to 1 that he has not told her that he sleeps with these women. You would think she would be worried about catching an STD. Maybe her self-esteem is so low that she is willing to "settle" for a man, if we can call him that, that supposedly loves her so much that he always comes back to her.
I believe that God will take care of him, one way or the other. Vengence is mine, saith the Lord. I believe that what goes around comes around.
I hope women out there will see and recognize this head game for what it really is, and avoid it at all cost.
Love, Joan | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/13/2008 3:59:36 PM | Get this one..I was chatting to a fellow on here from a bit of distance. He told me things that blew me away..then we went from here to messenger to phone and suposedly a visit. He said he always wanted to relocate and was planning on it in the near future, after he got together his money. I had his phone number, address, and everything. He seemed so geniune. He phoned me every night and sometimes we would talk all night. He sang to me and played his guitar. Everything we talked about was so real and he even said that there was no way he would ever hurt me and that he was loyal and true. He was a real smooth talker but you would never know that he was making it all up. He had a definate Brittish accent and originally from England so he said. He was suppose to call me on a Friday night and I havn't heard from him since. Nothing!! I looked up his address and got a hold of some people that live near him and it ends up that his address is a home for the disabled, mental, and elderly low income people and the apartment that he suposedly lives in belongs to another person. He doesn't answer his phone even if I block my number so I don't even know if it is a real phone or not. The operator said it is either unlisted or a cell phone. There was absolutely NO sign that anyhting was fake , that he was leading me on, or that anything was even wrong between us. He sounded so REAL!! All I can say is beware of anyone who seems too good to be true. I guess that was my first hint. I can't remember his name on here but he did have a photo and now it is gone off the site. I don't have his letters because after I thought things were good between us I took myself off the site. Another lesson to learn..don't delete your profile until you are absolutely sure that thinsg are real.
I got taken and taken good.
I do feel bad for anyone else that he is deceiving.
And to beleive that I actually thought he had gotton hurt or something really bad happened to him. Not the case in this one..Just a real player!!
If anyone knows a Philip Wood from Winnipeg, Manitoba.....BEWARE!! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:07:23 PM | Hey Jeannie
I have read a great deal about these personality types and any woman or man that gains insights and steers clear means I have successfully passed the baton on.
Charm Syndrome Man will listen very carefully to what you say, he has tremendous recall. He will buy you the best gifts because he is studying you very carefully. You will feel you are walking on air and how could someone so wonderful have been missed by others. In your haste to secure him, you the victim, has been ensnared in his trap.
Once he knows he has successfully got you - then begins the other tactics, isolation etc so he can now work on you to bring down your self esteem so that you will never leave him and do what in effect he really wants to care for him, mind, body and soul without any thought or time, for your own needs. He will use his version of events to be reality and cause confusion in your own brain and so the brainwashing begins.... the whole thing is pretty sick and scary.
Because he is sick and scary he could suffer from some or all of these:
Borderline Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Alcohol Dependent
Drug Dependent
Anger Management Issues
Low Self Esteem Issues
Anti social Personality Disorder
The net net is the same, don't put blinkers on, don't wait to see if he might change, just get the hell out....
All this kind of man cares about is himself and once he has suckered you dry he will either have lined up his next victim or had a few on the sidelines in case you run or find a substitute pretty quickly. He only loves himself. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:14:25 PM | Hey Eyes-Bright
Commend you for your honesty in spilling on the squirt - it alerts other potential victims or makes us do checks as you outlined to safeguard ourselves.
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:55:39 PM | these guys/girls i do consider players cause they use charm and sweet talk to keep the ladies guys around for his/her convenience....
the best way to handle these creeps is get rid of them....
i don't understand how women/men don't get sick of them dropping of the face of the earth then suddenly call to see whats up....after a couple times of guys doing this i won't bother with them again cause it shows what they want | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:25:33 PM | I have a friend who attracts these kinds of guys and falls for them constantly. They are amazing! She loves to be romanced! But, it has hurt her in the long run. Her heart has been so beat -up by these kind of men that the woman that I met 10 years ago is not the same today.
The funny thing about her is that she works hard at keeping all of them as "friends" even though that most of them have gone on to other relationships or marriages.
One day I asked her what was the point as I saw that she was the one always calling them for a "friendly" chat. We finally got down to the heart of the matter. Somewhere, deep down, she still believes that they will eventually see that she was the perfect woman for them. That they will come back on bended knee and beg her to take them back.
Sometimes, the damage never goes away. It is sad. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/14/2008 2:05:48 AM | I think I was engaged to him! Would this be a certain "funguy" over 6' and lives in cardiff? Exactly same situation I had but I didn't realise how bad he was screwing round on me til his 'other fiance' answered his mobile when he was supposedly visiting his dying mother! I now have cut him out of mine and my childs lives. We lost nearly everything we had and are only now starting to get back on our feet. Unfortunately love makes us blind. Ditch the **stard!  | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/14/2008 2:13:26 AM | I won't say any names but, i think i know him....um i think a person does that to another person because they can't trust and have a lot of resentment and unhapiness due to whatever ocured in their life....At least your not as messed up as he is! I had a guy do the same thing....i told him he was crazy.. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 3/14/2008 9:58:43 AM | I think just about everyone has met someone like this. Years ago, I had a g/f that had a similar personality disorder. It messed me up big-time. I was so infatuated with her. The sex was great, but really the rest of it was a waste of time. She simply needed attention 24/7. She was very attractive, and I always wondered why she was with such an average guy - like me. I just happened to be the best provider of sex, money and attention at that time. She split and it was the best thing she ever did (for me).
The next two chances that I had with really fanastic women with sooo much potential was sabotaged by yours truly, beacause I felt so strongly that I might be vulnerable again and have my heart stomped on. Wrong, wrong, wrong... I sometimes wish I could go back and make things right with one, or both of those special girls. 
But it's in the past. Live for today, right? | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/2/2008 7:22:01 PM | | Nice tweepz. I have a question though... does the woman have any needs, desires or expectations in this relationship or does she merely need to be made of plastic and have a blow up valve. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:48:26 AM |
I believe that God will take care of him, one way or the other. Vengence is mine, saith the Lord. I believe that what goes around comes around.
I believe that too....life has a way of paying people back.... | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:08:47 AM |
Do you believe that 'all is fair in love and war' and that if women fall for this and are willing to stick around, despite the fact that they're not getting to the next stage of how a relationship should progress, that men are justified in doing this sort of thing? I mean - I guess if there's no promise of commitment, there's no rule condeming this sort of behavior.
Clicks
I have met women caught in this hell, so sad to see
they are 'svengalied' better said 'hoodwinked' into
it by a PIG who relishes in having his cake...........
Often wonder how hard it is too move on from 'ONESELF',
leave behind the 'painted image' that we create, putting
onto a pedestal the 'imaginary mate', not living in reality
due to depression, or desperation.
[both are the 'hunting ground' for predaters!] | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:09:06 AM | Response to the first message:
I would like to have this guy`s name, because it sounds exactly like my ex-friend, not ex-boyfriend, because there was never any real commitment, even though, he kept telling me that OUR time was coming. The more I got to know him, the worst it got. I can`t believe some people can hurt other people so much, and not care!. (and yes ,I did believe that I was the one he loved most) (what a fool I was).
When you love someone with all your heart, and they play with it over and over again, it`s torture!. Happy I`m out of that relationship now. It takes a lot of time to trust again, if ever you can! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 7:31:42 AM | | Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can take advantage of you without your permission" and, of course, we know the expressions "Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me". I have met many liars, players, and all around jerks. I consider it a great learning experience and try NOT to make the same mistake TWICE! Unfortunately, there are two many around who want to play games. That is why getting to know someone well pays off in gold in the end! | |
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fury32
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Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 170 | |
| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:03:06 AM | | I love when I read stuff like this..I used to be what I thought women were looking for,THE RELATIONSHIP TYPE.The man that wanted to settle down,I was romantic,loving,and very caring.But in reality found that women were not looking for this.Every woman I came across to get to know,or actually end up in a relationship with,decided to use that to HER advantage,and thought it would be funny to play..Well it seems since I started to look for a relationship is when all of my problems in life started.In the very beginning of a women's life they are banged in the head,by media,by friends to hate men,to be cautious of men.But men are not taught the same about women and in that, they learn the hard way.Some take it well,while many reverse it,reversing all of the pain,lies and deceit,then they start to bring a wrath upon all women.Because that is all the man knows how to handle his emotions after so many destroyed his heart.It is not about "all is fair in love and war".It is about Getting what you have given,even if you are not specifically the woman who gave that man PAIN,you are still getting what he was given by so many after a while he may not even realize he is doing it anymore,or he could very well realize what he was doing and just not care..I can simply say that is when people need to take a serious look in what is going on in society,look at themselves,there beliefs,and see that there is a chain reaction to everything and once the chain reaction occurs,usually there is no stopping it.. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:36:56 AM | | Yes Wallflower, you rock. You express it all so clearly, I`ve been through the same (without the marriage). Can you tell me how you found that inner strengh and happiness ? Go Wallflower Go. How long has this relationship been over? | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 9:02:52 AM | | Ive dated a man exactly like this. There IS a rule condeming this sort of behavior though. A lie by omition is still a lie. And by leading women on he is doing just this. Playing with people for kicks and giggles is always unjustified. He motionally fed off me. It is hard to cut ties with this type of man, even if your strong willed. The woman that is with me still though and knows what he is doing adds to his ego and sort of is aiding him in his behavior. You really do believe him untill you find out how things really are, which is usually in a very bad way. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 10:04:44 AM | This is nothing new it has been going on since the dawn of time.
As far as why people do this and women do it also but we see it more in men, I do not know for sure. I know for me before I met the man I am with I just was not really wanting to open my heart to anyone. So it was easier to tell them crap then dump them when I was done with them.
Women now are doing it more also a defensive way to keep men away so they don't get hurt. Whether these men do because having sex with alot of women they believe makes them a stud or thier are bored. Maybe even have a bet with thierr friends who knows. Eventually someone is going to come along they will fall for or even better a person comes along and is better at the game then they are.
As far as I am concerned men are not studs and women are not whores when they have multiple partners. They are individuals who chose a life style and as long as they are not forcing you to be involved they have done nothing wrong.
Women stop falling in love so damn fast use your head.Do not fall for a man fast stop opening your heart to them so fast. We are setting ourselves up for the hurt. The right guy will come along and he will not hurt us. He will also be willing to take his time. | |
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