| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 11:06:09 AM | | Unsure where to go to from here. Met a gal online back in 1998, my Dad/Grandma passed the same year. Anyhow I left because of the uncertainty of the relationship. Now since November of 2007, we started talking again. She had moved to SWEDEN, been there since 2002, never even knew it. From what I've been told by her she lived in the same town I did for 1-2 years & we never crossed paths, I've worked in the same town she lived in between 2000-2002 since 1998. Well now, since November 2007 we talked non-stop, I went out & bought I don't know how many International Phone Cards, ran up 2 bills over $300 for sure, she flies all the way over from SWEDEN for Valentine's, spends a week with me, it was great, the sex was great all week, the communication skills went 10 fold, I spent $165 for dinner on Valentine's at Minnesota Zoo, we went & bought rings, I called my Mom & told her we got engaged, the reason I left 10 years ago was she was in this big hurry to get married & move in together, so she flies back to SWEDEN for 2 weeks, packs up all of her stuff, 3 boxes of clothes, 2 suitcases, 2 dufflebags, flies all the way over here back to the states, is with me from March 17th, 2008-April 18th, 2008, then she gets a car & splits with friends, she's never home. We barely talk, is it me? I thought there was something there. HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 12:21:38 PM | Well..I think it is obvious, I would say he is ego driven. He feeds his ego by having women want him. He is probably insecure himself and might have lacked love as a child. I don't know. But, talk about games...sounds like he does this as a form of entertainment. But, to these women he is doing nothing but pain. Pain of the worst kind. I happen to be a firm believer in karma. I have seen it in action. No...I do not believe all is fair in love and war. I feel bad for these women.
An above post mentioned the following:
"Because he is sick and scary he could suffer from some or all of these:
Borderline Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Alcohol Dependent
Drug Dependent
Anger Management Issues
Low Self Esteem Issues
Anti social Personality Disorder"
I believe any of these disorders could apply. There are people out there who do play these games. Their main intent is to do what you described ... they are sort of like emotional vampires and they devistate peoples lives ...at least for a time. Their intent to be on the dating sites are to do just what you said.
But, I also believe you need to be careful with how you label people. Because sometimes it just happens that people start off a relationship enthusiastic with telephone calls and sweet talk and such...but, then they realize this person is not for them so they stop calling. It is easy then to say this person has NPD or other issues when you have been burned; but, it could just be a simple case of loosing interest.
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elisko
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Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 178 | |
| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:19:52 PM | I'm a woman. And as long as women are prepared to be treated as s**t, thats de way they will be treated. Some women are so desdperate for a man that they will put up wit anything.. and this includes ur friend.... Why is she putting up wit it. Lots of decent guys out there. No need to take s**t from any one, man or woman. As the saying goes ( pardon de pun) there is plenty more fish in the sea. | |
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elisko
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Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 179 | |
| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:20:09 PM | | I'm a woman. And as long as women are prepared to be treated as s**t, thats de way they will be treated. Some women are so desdperate for a man that they will put up wit anything.. and this includes ur friend.... Why is she putting up wit it. Lots of decent guys out there. No need to take s**t from any one, man or woman. As the saying goes ( pardon de pun) there is plenty more fish in the sea. | |
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elisko
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Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 180 | |
| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 2:29:26 PM | | Lots of us are really honest decent people who are just looking to share a bit of life with someone after coming out of a marriage or long relationshipo. How u know which is which ,,,,,,,, I jus don.t know.We;'r not all bad. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 3:11:02 PM | Because you let them do it to you. Stop getting all attached after even a year of dating..
Treat these men/women as they treat you don't get your heart involved. See how fast people change thier tune and learn real fast how much fun it can be...
It is called playing the field have fun. Stop worrying about what others are doing and worry about what you are doing.
Men do not like thier feeling dissmissed either but it can be very entertaining... | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:00:55 PM | I would classify this man one who hates women. He's scary and he needs to stop. Someone is going to do something to him out of pain and anger. There is enough pain and bad relationships in the world without men and women doing things malicious. Your friend who condones these things is just as bad. She has a self esteem problem and is making him feel what he's doing is ok.
He is an abuser. He's never going to stop either until someone comes back on him. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:21:39 PM | Hi Blueeyedsoul...
Thank you for your thoughtful words!
Sometimes in life we have to go through tough times just to develop that inner strength. I can say that I have had my share.
Basically, it's all about working your way through difficult times with as much humour, common sense, optimism and friends as you can get! You laugh. You cry.
Run with it as long as you know that you are perfect in God's eyes. You have beauty, strength, intelligence...you are a "lovely you".
Look after that "lovely you" with love, honesty and integrity. It will shine through. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:51:12 PM | Its why I dont take compliments seriously and am hard to get, very hard to get, these guys keep moving with me and every now and then when I have time I give them a taste of their own medicine, its not hard to play a player and see them tripping over their tongues and in a tail spin, over a woman who doesnt like them and who they will never score with ever,
They are so used their games working on women, they arent even aware that the role has been reversed and they have been played at their own game....... Poor boys actually think they are in love and want to committ........ | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:59:28 PM | Roseqr,
Thank you! We are allsubject to this sort of thing happening at least once as we are all looking for somone and want it so badly we believe. Then it makes it harderonthe next true blue person who comes into our lives. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/3/2008 6:12:44 PM | | I also know someone like this. My gf is the long suffering spouse. She wants to believe she is something special because he married her, but she is just there so he won't ever be alone. He strings women on, doesn't tell them he is married, making them feel like they are his one and only. He comes on very strong in the beginning, uses the L word etc.. It is really very pathetic and sad as this person has no life other than his work and he manages to hurt many women. He thinks he loves women, but he only uses them. Very sad for everyone. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:01:39 AM | I am just getting out of a 3 and half year relationship with one of these guys....its amazing how these people can have the same traits! He is also a police officer....charming, romantic, funny and good looking...I thought he was my everything. Till I had to realize that I didn't have the "key" either even though I hoped for a long time I would.
They are masters. Put these guys on "dont date him girl" homepage. I put mine on and just told girls to be aware that he is not all that he seems to be. They will fall for him...we all do but...at least when he starts pulling back and not acting like he talks, they can at least be assured they are not the crazy one...we all get taken...and I will be a lot smarter the next time. But I wish I didnt have to learn that lesson. I had never felt so attracted to someone physically and emotionally...when we were "together". He will be hard to beat sexually and fun wise. He was the best...but yet a player! dang! The main thing to watch for....actions will not meet his beautiful words... | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:06:30 PM | | Man just play too many damn games, especially when they know they have a good woman, a honest, trustworthy, non-whore, non-cheater woman. So they get scared and they bolt. | |
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| The worst of head games!!!
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:07:33 PM | | Man just play too many damn games, especially when they know they have a good woman, a honest, trustworthy, non-whore, non-cheater woman. So they get scared and they bolt. | |
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