| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:13:12 PM | Money or size should not be the issue. It should be the thought that counts. Overused cliche statement? Yes, but totally and completely accurate and applicable here.
A decent ring would be one that comes from the person and means a lot. It should be the one that has all that special meaning behind it, not all the money the person wants behind it. The fact someone judges it solely on the size or cost is just down right stupid. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:22:40 PM | Yet another forum about WOMENS' SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.
Give me a frigging break the size of the ring should be irrelevent. Considering she is "in her late 40's" she is lucky ANYONE is willing to marry her ass. How about you buy your own expensive ring? Someone mentioned "if he is just being cheap blah blah" who gives a rats ass if he is FRUGAL? How much money the man has and / or earns should have NOTHING to do with the size of the ring. If I were to ever get married I would get my wife a plain gold wedding ring and if that was not good enough she could choose to ply her GOLD DIGGING TRADE elsewhere. How about all you broads earn your own money and buy your own stuff? If you are obessessed with materialistic BS, how about YOU buy your own expensive trinkets? All that should matter is the man is willing to commit to this over the hill woman and she is lucky at that. | |
|
~tag~
|
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 28 | |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:32:46 PM | I'm sorry guys, but I've just got to play devil's advocate here.
Maybe she was embarrassed to show the ring because it sounds as if she had no part in the choosing of it? This is something she's expected to wear for the rest of her days - and she had no say in the look (maybe she just plain ol' doesn't think it's pretty... - it's NOT the size of the stone). Maybe she herself would have preferred a 2 ct CZ to a diamond chip (QVC anyone?). She may not have gotten the chance to voice that. Shopping for the ring TOGETHER is part of the fun.
And - what's going on in this gentleman's life, that he couldn't get at least a $500.00 1/4 of a ct diamond solitare? They let you buy those on store credit now - they practically throw them at you - few dollars a month and have that baby paid off within a year. If he's her age, what's going on in his finances that he couldn't do this? What's going on in his finances that he couldn't save $500.00 and just purchase it outright?
And what about pawn shops? He could have gotten one from there and had the band polished and sized more fairly priced than at a jewelers.
Why did he purchase a ring that a 17 yr old acne faced youth should have purchased as a promise ring to give to his prom date?
(ok - I'm done playing the other side...)
And when did it become a '4 month salary' thing? Yikes! | |
|
~Kyn~
|
Joined: 2/15/2008
Msg: 29 | |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:34:12 PM |
Give me a friggen break...blah blah...blah blah....If I were to ever get married......blah blahhh....
Its all good...cos...
It...aint...ever...gonna...happen.
...So faggedaboutit.  | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:35:45 PM | In some things, size does matter, but I don't think in this case.
There may be a reason for a smaller diamond, maybe there is a money issue. Perhaps she would be able to feel better if she knew that down the road she would have another ring even if she had to buy it herself. Many couples get started on a lower budget. But should size matter in this case. No. But do I understand it? Yes. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/25/2008 8:48:42 PM | So do I have to show a girl my T4 so she can figure out how much 3 month's wages would be, to make sure the ring lives up to the old saying???? Maybe he did the best he could, and gave it with all his heart. If that's not good enough, maybe she needs someone with a bigger wallet.
| |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/25/2008 10:13:38 PM | It's sad that she's embarrassed by the ring....is she embarrassed by her fiance too? If so, why is she still in the relationship? Personally I feel it would be in very poor taste to exchange/upgrade it. It was a gift from the heart. He likely bought what he could afford and perhaps may have had to save up for months in order to buy it. It seems that a lot of women these days are missing the whole point of what the ring symbolizes. Perhaps I'm a little old fashioned but I've always felt it's tacky to pick out your own engagement ring. I like the idea of the man doing this on his own and popping the question with ring in hand. I have been surprised at the lengths that some of the women I've known have gone to in order to ensure their boyfriends had "good taste" in jewellery:
1) I know one woman who exchanged her engagement ring for one with a bigger diamond (the one she was originally given was .75 carats but she insisted that she needed 1.5 carat diamond). She didn't care that she made her boyfriend feel bad about the ring after all was said and done, and they fought about it for sometime afterwards.
2) Another one gave her boyfriend $1000 towards the ring purchase because she wanted to ensure he bought her a "nice" one in a certain price range that she felt was appropriate for him to spend. Even with her financial assistance he was still not in a position to spend as much as she wanted him to. This put him in a very awkward situation.
3) One actually bought her own engagement ring ($9000.00) because she felt that the $1500.00 that her boyfriend could afford to spend was not enough to buy a "decent" one. She was disappointed (and perhaps a little embarrassed) about his financial situation and made it appear that he was more financially secure than he actually was by telling people that he "surprised" her with the beautiful ring he picked out for her. This all came to light after they separated. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 6:08:55 AM | Wow! We live in such a Materialistic society and it's a such a facade!
I would wear that ring with love, pride & joy.
I wouldn't care what others (friends, family, etc) thought.
Who are they to judge what's "adequate"? Sheesh!
If they did mention something, I would certainly tell them "where to go"! | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 6:39:56 AM | | I guess I'm playing devil's advocate here. Keep in mind women are more superficial than men. Unless this was a complete and total surprise proposal, they would have been talking about engagement and marriage, and he could have found out what her preference for a ring was. I've been engaged before: Am I the only one who picked out her ring ahead of time? Obviously he was WAY OFF is she was actually embarrassed by it. She has to wear this ring for the remainder of her marriage and she should be proud to wear it. I don't think its a big deal for her to bring it up to him. Guys can be sensitive, but not THAT sensitive. She should just approach the topic by letting him know that the ring isn't exactly her taste and she'd like it if they could pick out a ring TOGETHER. He won't cry. | |
|
| |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:54:30 AM | When I went ring shopping with my ex, we discussed a budget, didn't go too extravagant, as she had moved across the country, we had just bought a new house together, had landscaping to do in the front and back etc etc. We went together and looked at rings. We narrowed it down to two rings, and she left it up to me to decide. I liked the one ring a bit better than the one she liked but I knew which one she preferred so I went with that one.
Now it wasn't a total surprise, with me popping the question out of the blue. If it was I think I would have chosen a ring that again, was within my budget, and would hope that it was "good enough" for her. As mentioned a guy is really putting himself out there when he asks the woman to be his wife, and hopefully something like the size of the ring isn't going to be an embarrassment, or an issue of contention. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 10:19:12 AM | I am sure she happy about getting married, but come on... how many of her friends and just people in general will be like "geesh, I can barely see that diamond" and I can see it as something that might be embarrasing... she can say "well it proves his love for me" and then behind her back people will be like "We can already imagine that she is a sugar momma cause that guy aint got anything"
being a bytch would be like someone I knew... her bf gave her a 5,000 dollar ring... she didnt accept it because she wanted from tiffany's.... now someone like that deserves the kick to the curb!
I say tell your friend to simply talk to her fiance.... she wont lose anything by expressing her feelings and I am very sure her man will understand :) | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 10:33:00 AM | Here's the true devil's advocate point of view....Hey Guys...Let's say...hypothetically...that the tradition was instead of you proposing and presenting her with an engagment ring, that the woman proposes to you and presents you with say....... a t.v. set. You tell all your friends...I think she's gonna pop the question.... You can hardly wait...you know it's coming ....She does and gives you a 19" B&W console.....Now..you gonna invite your buddies over to watch the game on that baby....? You know they're gonna ask to see it....... How would you feel??? I understand her point of view, I really do. I'd love a 42" HD liquid crystal.......
In all reality, however, I would be pleased with the B & W 19"-er as long as she snuggled up on the couch and watched it with me. We're gonna have a lifetime together and there is plenty of time to "upgrade" as circumstances allow. Should she tell him how she feels about the puny ring......Would you tell her about the t.v.? or do you think she may already feel insecure about it. In my opinion, he should have gone to the limits of his finacial ability to get her a ring which symbolizes his deep feelings for her. If this "puny" ring meets that criteria, she should be pleased. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 11:30:35 AM |
She does and gives you a 19" B&W console You don't walk around with a 19"B&W TV on your hand, showing it to your friends at the Bridge club.
you could tell by her face that she was shy to show her new ring...she was embarrassed by the ring. It was very inexpensive and you actually had to squint to see the diamond inside. What's more important, what other people think about a ring, or meeting someone who you want to live the rest of your life with? If the size of this ring is really an issue, she needs to sit down with her fiancee and discuss how they are going to resolve the problem. Otherwise, she needs to accept the ring and stop worrying about what other people think about the ring. They ain't marrying the guy, she is. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 11:41:02 AM | | Run, Forest, Run. That's what I'd tell the guy in the OPs situation because she doesn't love him she just wants to be married. The level of self-entitlement in the OP makes me wince and any guy would be crazy to be involved with these types. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:39:58 PM | We're getting a lot of responses here that the woman is shallow. It's pretty clear from the OP that she does love him and is thrilled to be marrying him. But she's not 19; she's in her late 40's. It's not that he didn't spend enough - she's willing to pony up herself for a bigger ring - or that she's necessarily materialistic. But all of her circle will want to see the ring. It's just what you do. And they're going to judge him by the size of the rock. If she loves him, she is going to be somewhat protective of him and not want others to judge him harshly.
We aren't living in a world of love songs and higher ideals; she knows that others will judge based on the ring. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 2:01:28 PM | Yes halftimedad, other's might judge the guy, but I don't think in this scenario that the guy cares about this; who cares about this judgment is the lady marrying the guy.
I'm assuming the guy here isn't sitting on a small fortune?? What's more valuable to the relationship, how he treats her or how big the ring is? She probably knew the guy was never in any sort of position to shell out lots of dough for her. Personally, I wouldn't care what somebody thought of me as it relates to the size of my fiancee's engagement ring.
Now if the guy had the money and didn't spend it, that's a different issue, the OP would have to clarify that, but I don't think that's going on here. | |
|
~tag~
|
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 43 | |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 3:07:12 PM | | So... What we've come up with basically is this. Size doesn't matter - generally. But I still think it's quite odd that they didn't pick the ring out TOGETHER - as she is the one expected to wear it EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE....... That's fairly important to most women. It's not the cost - it's the style/look. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 3:56:11 PM | I'd let her know if she is really in love with her new Fiance, she should be open with him and let her know that she wants a bigger rock.
If I were to ever propose again, I'd make sure that Diamond is an even Carot. Can't go wrong with that.
"Oh what a pretty ring! How big is it?"
"It's a Carot." and then the smug face is put on.
Yes, size matters. | |
|
| |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 4:10:19 PM | | ok misshannah. not ALL women are more superficial than men. yes some are ...obviously. but not ALL. and i know a guy that if ya told him his ring was too small...he WOULD CRY. can`t say all...gotta say most or some. | |
|
~tag~
|
Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 47 | |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 4:35:15 PM |
"Rent the movie Blood Diamond..."
While this IS important, it is NOT important to all people. The thing is, if it is important, then there is always CZ., some have exceptional fire and look much better than their more expensive counterparts... It may just be the 'look' though, not the cost that this lady in question had feelings towards. | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:12:37 PM | I think another way to look at it and consider is:
She is going to wear that ring every day for the rest of her life.
She is in her 40's and they are not a young, just starting out couple.
Hopefully, he can afford something nice by that age.
He will be judged by what he bought. (Might not be right, but is true)
To all you guys who claim materialistic, blah, blah, blah.... If your woman bought you
an expensive, guy gift......... I will bet that you will brag and show it off to your buddies and be proud of it.
| |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:21:54 PM | Hmmm.... when I married young I had a simple gold band... we didn't have the money for anything more extravegant... I don't think I would have traded anything for it... now I'm 52, can't say I'm looking for marriage but it cracks me up the ppl who see 50 as ancient... just wait.... it comes around REAL fast.....
I would hope that if I were that close to a man and surely it would be discussed (marriage) and knowing each others income if I felt it was something he couldn't afford I'd be suggesting a very unique band... personally I don't want a ring I have to wear all the time snagging my hosery and clunking on the furniture.. but I would want it pretty... if the man in question is simply cheap and can afford it I'm not staying for the long haul anyway... but I hope at 50 that most ppl have their Sh*t together enough to afford something more then a few hundred hundred dollars.... the ring I would pick out for him and he damn well better wear it too... is going to be heartfelt and nice... | |
|
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 5:41:27 PM | | Oh my. Is there hope for the shallow and insecure of this world? The ring, the fancy wedding and all the other idiotic superficial trappings that don't mean anything. Does she like the guy? Is he good to her? Why in the world would you care, or her for that matter, what the magical ring looked like? With all the agony, misery and strife in this world and a couple of women are worried about the size of an engagement ring and the supposed insecurity that a small ring would cause? Yaaaaaaa. | |
|
Home
login 
