| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 7:38:13 PM | Boy, so many cynical people. Aren't there any hopeless romantics out there
I think she's knows already his financial position in life. She chose him, he chose what he could afford. I'm waiting until I can afford my 3.37 Emerald Cut Designer Christopher Cross exclusive with 2.04ct on the sides set in 18k white gold, of course I will be waiting for many years, but hey, I'm willing to wait....
I think it's sweet.I am in the romance business and have been for over 10 years. I have seen some big rocks go on so many women. And I've also seen some pretty small rocks go on women. It all boils down to what you want. Personally, I like big jewels. The bigger, the better. But that's just what I want. If she's feeling embarrassed, maybe she really wants a bigger diamond, but doesn't want to hurt his feelings.. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:03:39 PM | | Your friend should....find a ring she is happy with ...then tactfully....work with her guy to upgrade to that ring....it's not about money....it's about being happy , proud and content..... | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:18:12 PM |
it's about being happy , proud and content If it is about being happy and content, why does the physical dimensions of a ring matter? Proud, well.. that's just being materialistic unless she is proud to have him in her life.
What I see from the OP is someone that wants a friggen rock instead of someone that loves her, and I feel sorry for that guy. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/26/2008 9:46:40 PM | " What I see from the OP is someone that wants a friggen rock instead of someone that loves her..."
Not necessarily true......the OP's friend may not want a more EXPENSIVE ring....she may just want a different style ring....something that suites her taste.....and.... may very well be within his price range.....
Look...my Ex...presented me with a 2.25 solitaire diamond engagement ring.....I thought it was NICE....But...I didn't have a CLUE about diamonds.....Until I took it into the jewelers to be cleaned and he put it under the microscope.....and said...." I hope you have this insured".......I had NO idea what it was worth!!!!.....The first thing I did was...buy a really good CZ ....even I couldn't tell the difference.....And put my ring in the safety deposit box...where it has been for 15 + years.... I thought if I ever got robbed....I would just hand it over to them...... | |
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| What if?
Posted: 2/26/2008 11:05:10 PM | OPie, what if, after she'd told you, and told you how wonderful he was, she'd held her hand out joyfully, proudly, and obviously pleased? Would you have told her openly or sidewise that the ring just wasn't good enough? That she deserved a "proper" ring?
Actually, reading this thread made me cry several times. I don't have a solution. I only know that if it were me, and I absolutely knew the ring came from a box of Cracker Jack, and I loved the guy, I'd show it off as proudly as if it were the Hope Diamond.
I wish your friend luck. She's gonna need a bucketful.
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:09:46 AM | op posted . . .
. . . As we continued chatting she finally told me that she was embarrassed by the ring. . . .
Sorry . . . if your friend in fact said she is "embarrassed" . . . she does not value him much less honor him . . .
. . . She told me she'd be more than willing to pay for another one that actually looked more like a proper . . .
How much MORE . . . . . ."PROPER" . . . . . should it be? He gave her the ring . . . she SHOULD VALUE what it REPRESENTS!
PROPER is what the ring represents . . . his declaration of commitment!
PROPER is what the ring represents . . . to value her . . . to honor HER!
PROPER is the ring representing . . . I want to spend the rest of my life with you!
PROPER is the ring representing . . . I love you for better or worse!
Your friend does not seem to realize that it is not about the IDEA of marriage (ring, cake, dress, glamour, etc.) . . . . it is about a soul saying I will not abuse your trust in me.
Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze . . . Double geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze . . . okay triple GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE . . .
[this is the first I have ever used this icon . . . ]
Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze . . . .
~Myth~
P.S. . . . . "Run Forest Run . . . . " | |
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~tag~
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Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 58 | |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/27/2008 12:18:40 AM | I admit it, I was wrong. I apologize. I don't know why my brain didn't register this sentence the first time round. I am sorry.
". . . As we continued chatting she finally told me that she was embarrassed by the ring. . . ."
(and then from Myth)
"Sorry . . . if your friend in fact said she is "embarrassed" . . . she does not value him much less honor him . .."
Myth is right. Actually, she's mighty dog gone right.
If your friend actually stated that she was EMBARRASSED by the ring, then that's sad.
If she would only have said "It's a very sweet ring, but it's just not in my style. I wonder if my darling would let me consider exchanging it for one that's more my flavor?"
(or something along those lines.........) | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/27/2008 4:56:43 PM | There was this topic just today in Ann Landers. This is what she recommended in handling the ring buying situation to save both sides of the situations.
The guy should go to the jewelry store, pick out different rings in his price range. Have the jeweler hold them for him and bring his fiancee in and let her choose from the assortment he picked. She said that picking out a ring should be done together and that is makes it even more fun and exciting to do it together. That way she gets what she wants and he stays in his price range. | |
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~tag~
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Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 60 | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/27/2008 6:44:43 PM | I repeat: your friend should see Blood Diamond.
Then again, maybe she's never even heard of the movie. And is blissfully ignorant about the thousands of wretchedly impoverished 3rd world lives which have for decades been fundamentally enslaved ---- for the sole purpose of mining little pieces of clear hard rocks which eventually land in some 1st world jewelry store. And are then equated with "love."
Maybe she has never lost a loved one to an incurable life-threatening medical diagnosis. For which there are funds insufficient to conduct adequate research leading to better medicine and more hope for a cure. Maybe she has never tried to raise those funds. And wondered about the "value" people place on their 24 karat gold, the platinum, their diamonds weighed against their "value" to those for whom no gold or platinum or diamond can "buy" a cure for some terminal affliction.
This thread has indubitably heightened my awareness of why there are so many people in the world who can't understand why they can't seem to find the "true love" they passionately profess to be seeking.
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:07:14 PM | | Considering how varied the responses are in this thread, I think only your friend can be a really good judge of whether her saying anything would hurt her new fiance's feelings or not. She should be able to predict that, and I say, if it would cause too much hurt, or offense, to just let this one go. It's such a difficult thing though, because she's stuck with wearing this piece of jewelry for the rest of your life, and who wants to wear something they don't like or are proud of? Even for my own little cheap trinkets that I wear, it's very important to me that I like them. Sentimental value can bring you so far, but in the end, if it's something you don't like, it's hard to want to wear it. Although I don't really condone being dishonest to your partner, I have one little white lie suggestion. Maybe approach it not from the size of the diamond, but the setting or some other style issue, and ask him if she could exchange the ring for a different style (and in the process she could upgrade the diamond and pay the difference). This may still offend some men. But I think there would be a greater number of men who might think that's fine, but would get more riled up if she was blunt about the size of the rock itself. Me personally, I hope to find a man with whom I know I could always be honest with, and wouldn't have to tip toe around. Men who don't wear jewelry would have trouble understanding this. I mean, even when it's not an engagement ring (that everyone wants to see after they hear about the proposal), jewelry is a very personal expression, and many people often comment on your jewelry as you go about your day. Imagine having to wear something you're embarassed of every single day for the rest of your life. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/27/2008 10:16:05 PM | [ Considering she is "in her late 40's" she is lucky ANYONE is willing to marry her ass]
[All that should matter is the man is willing to commit to this over the hill woman and she is lucky at that]
Ouch! Reciprocation, those are pretty cruel words referring to someone who happens to be older than you and is single...just because you do not agree with her thoughts about the ring. I am proud to be 53 and I am confident that I will be a good catch for the right fisherman ...that is, if I choose to remarry some day. Rather than criticizing someone because she is a little more "seasoned" than you are, you might want to examine yourself to see why no one has added you as a favorite. Also, why don't you have a picture posted?
In responding to the question about the size of the ring, I would proudly wear the ring that my man choose for me. I wouldn't risk hurting his feelings for anything. How would she feel if he had bought a 2 carat diamond ring that was very cloudly and had obvious flaws that could clearly be seen with the naked eye? Would she ask for something smaller and more perfect, or would she expect a better diamond the same size? | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:38:19 AM | | I have never understood the importance of a big, expensive engagement ring. Why waste the money? Those thousands of dollars could be better spent on setting up your lives together then a ring that there is a 50% chance you'll lose in the divorce anyways. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:59:11 AM | To all you guys who claim materialistic, blah, blah, blah.... If your woman bought you
an expensive, guy gift......... I will bet that you will brag and show it off to your buddies and be proud of it. I honestly cannot picture any guy bragging about expensive gifts his girlfriend or wife bought for him. Guys typically don't brag about their partner's expensive purchases. Personally speaking, I'm not materialistic and expensive bling-purchases don't impress me much.
but I hope at 50 that most ppl have their Sh*t together enough to afford something more then a few hundred hundred dollars Not necessarily. Even if a 50-year old man has a good paying job, if he is divorced he could have expensive alimony payments that don't allow him to have such an affluent lifestyle as one might assume. Also, he might be saving and/or spending his money on his children's college educations.
The OP stopped posting more information about this particular scenario so we're kinda shooting in the dark here with our advice and comments.
It's true perhaps this dude should have taken his fiancee ring shopping. This sort of thing is generally more important to the lady than it is to the man, and it's a wise move on the guy's part to do this. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:12:53 PM | Wow! Guess it was understandible that I didn't know what to say to her. So many conflicting thoughts on this!
First of all let me clarify for some of you that this woman is not after some big expensive diamond.
I'd also like to say that I understand about how this all may sound trivial to some, and in the grand scheme of things I guess I agree. BUT, hey, we are ALL here reading and writing about these things when instead we could be doing something more constructive. Perhaps we shouldn't be so critical of each other. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:27:10 PM | whitewave
print out all of these responses for your friend to read..............
In my opinion it is petty stuff
- the real truth is she is embarassed to show the small ring
to all of her other gold digging friends,that were 'lucky enough to bag- a more wealthy guy'
that is the real truth | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:52:13 PM | "Rent the movie Blood Diamond . And watch it with your friend."
I did, and I wouldn't own a diamond now. If the man I loved bought me one, he wouldn't know me very well. The diamond is a status symbol, but at what price? It's just not worth it. | |
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