| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:11:23 PM | | clearly the ring is an issue, and she shouldn't get married, because the both of you base love on the size of the diamond. have you every hear of the term "blood diamond", so lets see how many people to be killed would be good enough to get your friend the size of diamond she deserves. I believe the diamond gets bigger and valuable, when children are killed for them. so should we put her down for 11 children, 3 men, and 7 women. I think that should be enough to get her the happiness she deserves. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:23:52 PM | NO...size does not matter...it is the thought and the whole principle that someone finds you marriageable!
Ugh! This sickens me!
I don't even like the whole "shopping for rings together" concept....personally, it could be a bubble gum machine ring...what would be important to me would be that he wanted to committment, the dedication, the devotion, and standing before God and our families/friends would be the ultimate show of such,....not a piece of rock that turned shiny over time! | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:40:26 PM | LADIES...thank-you for restoring my faith in women..just when I thought all that mattered was SIZE... ( of rings) and worldy goods..you've made it known that there is honesty and true love   | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:47:34 PM | | That's a sin. Poor guy got a ring and now the girl isn't happy with it. I wouldn't do anything about it just yet if I were her. Maybe he is aware that it is small and wants to get her a better one later. For now, she should be happy she's found the person she's going to marry. And she should respect the ring and what it symbolizes. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:39:18 AM | | Here's my take on this........I've been married before and I loved my ring which wasn't big, but it was mine. Honestly, my husband could have cared less about his ring or mine. Now that I'm divorced, I feel the ring does matter. It should hurt their wallet a bit if they really love you. Just as when a woman buys a man their wedding ring it should hurt their pocket book. It's an investment in your relationship. Doesn't mean it will be four carats or anything, cause everyone's income is different. I don't think I'm materialistic, but my view has changed on this over the years. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:09:37 AM | OK....so WHY should it hurt their pocketbooks a little?! Is spending money on a material item, a sign of love and fidelity?
The rings are all about the STATUS....and if status is more important to folks, well, then no wonder marriages fail!
Gee...makes me wonder if someone is dating multiple people...are they gonna choose the one who offers the bigger ring? Makes it kinda' like you are a....bought woman...like he offered up something for your dowry or something?! Ewww....
You know...I like the idea of, once a monumental anniversary is met...upgrading the ring...sort of as a symbol of what you accomplished...if possible...if desired. Like maybe you have a tiny diamond when you got engaged...but when you were married for 20 years, he bought you a nicer one? | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:33:06 AM | A diamond is beautiful, but reflects only light ~ the size certainly does not reflect the love that went into choosing it...
It's a shame your friend is self-conscious about her engagement ring, but please remind her that it isn't the ring that makes the marriage...
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:33:12 AM | To me ... no size of the stone doesn't matter at all. In fact... I'd really rather not get a diamond at all. If the ring is pretty and feelings are true - THAT is ALL that matters. To ME. The guy that eventually wins my heart will know what I like and whatever he picks out will be amazing because a ring is simply a symbol. I have never expected people to buy me stuff and I make a habit of making it pretty obvious what I like - because if I like something I tend to buy it for myself - within my budget limitations of course.
But that is me. Not your friend. Clearly your friend has different values to me.
For your friend however - clearly size does matter. Which means that as has been stated she should be honest with herself first and then honest with her guy. (I have it in that order since she will need to figure out her real thoughts before she can explain it properly and honestly and carefully to her guy.)
And I guess the thought is this: If she is materialistic enough that this does matter to her and her guy doesn't know this and is the the type to be offended by it, then she really really should be honest since it would be better to end it now if this is going to be a problem in the future. Money is a HUGE issue for married couples and this could be a sign of problems for the future. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:40:50 AM | | Give me the love!!! I could care less about the dang ring! I think this is soooo freakin crazy! We shouldn't put the value on the ring, the value is what is in ones heart! When I read this, I was like omg you have got to be kidding me this is crazy! Some people are just never happy no matter freakin what! I really actually feel sorry for this man! And let me tell ya, if I was a man and a woman suggested paying for another ring that was more proper, I would be like wtf is wrong with this woman!!!! And who is to say what is proper, I mean really. It sounds like to me she just wants to run around and show her ring off to her friends!! This really makes me throw up a little in my mouth! uughhhh the nerve of some people! | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:15:39 PM | I would agree that yes, it had to do with showing friends, because that's what happens when someone gets engaged. I guess I'm wondering, what difference does it make who pays for the ring anyway? If she's willing to do it, and she's going to be wearing it, what difference does it make? The fact that it's on her finger 24/7 is still a sign that she's not looking to become involved with anyone else, a sign of commitment, right? That's why it's worn in the first place. I would think that the guy would be happy that she is commited enough to want to make sure the ring is what she wants. And once again...she is not looking for an expensive one from what she told me...just something a little nicer and in a style that fits her.
The finance' of a close friend of mine asked for some money from him and went out and bought the ring she wanted, adding her own money to it as she pleased. She couldn't wait to show it off. That's half the fun. Then several months later she decided to have some diamonds put in the band, and again, on her own, she did it. I asked my friend if it bothered him before writing this. He said of course not. He said guys don't care about that stuff, only women do. Why shouldn't she have some fun with it if she wanted to? And THEY have a wonderful relationship. If she enjoys celebrating their relationship in this way, and can afford it, what's the problem?
I do understand the other side however. But if my girlfriend came aross a bargain, and it was a ring that she'd alway had her heart set on, and that she'd pay for it, do you think that would be upsetting to him?
I do understand all that has been said, however, maybe because she's my friend I'm trying to see and defend her side.... | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:34:03 PM | | The OP asked a question, and in additional posts by her try to justify wanting a larger Rock. I am thinking that the OP is 'really' the one who wants a bigger Rock and is trying to get opinions on how best to get it. No friend involved ? | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:08:28 PM | | I don't wear rings so the size wouldn't make any difference to me...now saying that if he is a skin flint, she should know up front. If he is paying bills and doesn't have much money left then who cares about the size,,,,,Blue | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:21:44 PM | I think the size of the diamond should be relevant to the size of the dowry he gets for marrying her pathetic butt.
No dowry then she should thankful she got anything more than a cubic zirconia.
Yea, I wanna get married real soon. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:38:38 PM | I don't care about how this is going to sound to all the "diamond industry is a commercialized concept" blah, blah, blah, blah. Truth is lots of women care about engagement rings. Yeah, yeah there's the girl who would rather a Harley or whatever. But a ring, or any piece of jewerly, is a beautiful expression of love. If the tradition was turned and I had to buy the ring for the person I will love the rest of my life, I would want to find the most beautiful ring ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!
So no, not size, but beauty. And diamonds are beautiful, but you need to be able to see them, of course.
Her fiance is who is missing out. She should try to discuss it with him, but some people are kind of stubborn on the issue. Particularly ones who could think about finding the cheapest engagement ring possible. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:09:48 PM | No it doesn't, it's just so great that she has found somenone in her forties again who is serious.
But and their is always a but, I know women who wouldn't care and would be over the moon and other women who would say something to him and get the ring they want with no offence, becuase thats who they are, they wouldnt say anythign to anybody they would speak to him about it and sort it out.
i personaly dont care about rings or making a statement, or the material world full stop, marriage is not imnportant to me at this stage of life anyway, friendship and companionship are enough.
i have abeautiful ring that I had made and if I decide I want more jewlery then I will get it made to my design and tastse. thats me,
My point is say something to him, not everybody else, that is what bother;s me here
the offence is toward him and the relationship, if she cant talk about the ring to him then what relationship have they got, poor guy.......
this is about the relationship, they should bea bale to discuss it without hurting each other and resolve the situaion between themselves.
He would understand that the mega ****es of this world are looking down their noses at the ring and probably didnt take society into acount when he made the purchase,
She should disuss this with him, and only him, and I'm sure the situation will be rectified one way or another.
It's deceit isnt it, she says she loves the ring. but she doesn't it makes her feel embarrassed and that was not his intention, she needs to sort her self out and he needs to know the truth about the sitution.
Again talking to everyone else and not each other, is not a sound or good relationship at all.
She just needs to tell him how people are treating the situation and how upsetting it is for her when people view the ring, and explain it, and tell the truth, before it goes any further, the poor guy doesnt want to be embarrassed either...... by the ring or this post.........
Communciation and understanding is everything, and it doesnt sound like your friend has either........
The ring is not an issue......... | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:15:56 PM | | Personally, if I told a woman I was with that she was my everything and I wanted t spend my life with her and then she scoffed at the size of the ring, I would take it right back and kick her out. This guy wants to spend his LIFE with her. A big ring doesn;t equate to a good marriage. She should be thrilled with her situation and proud to show off the ring her fiance worked so hard to get. And who knows, maybe he is saving up to get really nice wedding bands and a better ceremony. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:32:42 PM | I have been there and done that with the engagement/wedding ring thing. I am now of an age and maturity to realize that they are nothing but rocks and metal sitting in a box doing absolutely nothing and without meaning.
If I ever get married again, all I want is a wide gold wedding band...very tailored and simple (a man's wedding band would be ideal)...and, of course, the love-of-my-life who gave it to me with love in his heart and eyes. That is what's most important.  | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:21:25 PM | I've changed my mind.
A girl should be able to choose any size/ style of diamond ring she wants because she is special.
Just so long as I get to install a one way locking door for the kitchen.
Relationships are all about give and take | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:17:49 PM | What matters is the understanding that marriage is a lifelong investment, till death do us part. Mature people on the same page discuss things, especially the sharing of finances and what is important to each in that regard. By the time one is talking marriage, they should have had this discussion and she should have made it clear what her expectations are in the ring department. I did.
I got a ring that is neither overly lavish or less than reasonable. It's modest, which is perfect because I don't like garish. It's delicate and beautiful. He chose it but consulted me on my preferences at length before choosing. I think this is the appropriate way to handle the situation and I absolutely love his choice.
Message 27:
Give me a frigging break the size of the ring should be irrelevent. Considering she is "in her late 40's" she is lucky ANYONE is willing to marry her ass.
Now as to this ridiculous commentary above, I think there's a lot more important things to consider than the size of the ring. I think the mental state of said individual that one is marrying is really important and if he actually has this kind of attitude, there are a lot more issues to be concerned about for the future than what kind of engagement ring he's going to choose for you. lol.
Focus on landing a fish that is sane and loving, ladies, because that's really the most important thing of all. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:18:16 PM | It matters or it doesn't. Neither is inherently right or wrong, depending on your POV.
It's the relationship that is the most important, the ring is the symbol. As long as both are happy that it symbolizes their relationship in a way that pleases both of them....well that's what matters.
Some individuals are big on "show" and flash and what other people think. To them that's important and if the ring symbolizes that, then well it works for them.
I have worn our mother's wedding ring every day since we laid her to rest. That is important to me, and it was moving that my sibs decided that I should be the one to have it. It's a sympbol to me of our parent's love that was the most important thing in their lives for the day when death only parted them. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:18:41 PM | It must matter to the women... They've been programmed that way... When ever some woman hears that another is engaged, the first word out of their mouth is "let me see the ring".
Should that be what matters? Shouldn't the committment made by the couple really be what matters? I think the latter, because the love and committment made by the couple which is what will help them to stay a couple.
If your friend is ashamed of the ring, that is a shame, but it's really not her fault, it's the way she's been programmed or marketed to. | |
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