| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:49:53 AM | has romance really gone out the window??????????????????
what ever happened to ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS
so what if he could or couldnt afford a larger ring...he bought HIS LOVE OF HIS LIFE a ring with the intent on marriage
shouldnt that be enough???????????????????
maybe he wants to 'SAVE' his money for a honeymoon of THEIR dreams or even a deposit on their own home
i guess im just a hopeless romantic
besides... shouldnt LOVE come from the HEART..no the pocket???? | |
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~tag~
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Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 177 | |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:02:18 PM | If ya can't afford to budget for a two bit ring, then you can't afford to budget for a household - and you shouldn't be dating anyone with serious intent (where marriage is down the road as an option...).
All I need, is the same thought and effort that I put into him - just ONCE! Ok, yeah - I admit it - I maaaay ask him for some effort again in a year or two - but give me a freakin' break! (effort = NOT jewelry)
Who the blazes said anything about any woman here wanting/desiring/demanding a $6,000.oo ring????? | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:08:11 PM | If he was rich and bought me a tiny ring - it would matter (cheapskate)
If he was poor and bought me a big ring - it would matter (I'd hate to think he put himself into harship to afford it.)
I say love is harder to find than a big diamond. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:28:58 PM | OMG...how silly, superficial and trite...
I have to say that is what gives us ladies a bad name.
1. She is already whining about him. Bad news for the guy. She is one of those women that don't say sh@*t about anything that he does to his face until she leaves him for another man. Then she tells him all the times she went without a birthday gift, without anniversary gifts and dinner, without valentine's goodies....and ..on ...and...on.
He is stupified. She NEVER said anything all the years they were together!! He didn't know he was being thoughtless. SHE NEVER SAID ANYTHING!!
2. Most of us know whether a proposal is coming down the pipeline. If not, ummmm...maybe this should have been discussed ????? Why wasn't it? Lack of communication...again? In the discussions there is usually a considerate man finding out what his beloved prefers in a ring. Beloved, being quite mature, tells him...nicely and sweetly. An immature beloved says...Oh! Anything is fine! Then hates it when she sees it. Poor befuddled man is hoping that she likes his choice. Ahhhh....there is now created a maelstrom of hurt (when he finds out in the divorce proceedings that she always hated that ring!)...and resentment.
Me? I would love to have a ring...that I love! My man would always know that I adore the ring that he was comfortable picking out. The size of the diamond would depend on his finances. Makes him feel more secure. That's just me.
Grow up...god | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 3/25/2008 9:17:46 PM | Both you and your pal sound really superficial.
The guy probably put a lot of thought into the ring and she has the nerve to complain about it's size and that she's embarrassed by it? If I were her fiance, I'd be embarrassed by her. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 3/29/2008 12:32:55 AM | | The size of the diamond has no meaning (other than he either doesn't have a lot to spend or if he does, he's thrifty - which is a good thing as far as values go). Her embarrassment says more about her values and her ego than it says about him. She obviously wishes to be "respected" and doesn't feel quite there, so a big ring is important to her - makes her more acceptable from her perspective - as though "look at me, I'm worth something; afterall, I'm good enough to catch a guy who has something going for him and she can prove it by the size of the diamond he bought. She needs to work on her own self-confidence. Moreover, perhaps she shouldn't be engaged at this point. Hmm? Whaddya think? | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 4/5/2008 11:08:08 PM | They have since broken up. I absolutely agree that the size of the diamond is silly. I just wasn't sure what to say to her. I don't think there is any person out there who doesn't have a flaw or two, but as it turned out it wasn't really the ring, after all.
However, I do have another friend/ex neighbor who at Christmas time goes out and buys herself things to put in her stocking, etc. She knows her husband loves her, but is just not good at shopping, I guess. This is what she tells me. Don't think it's ME, ok? Anyway, the reason she does it is because if she didn't have anything in her stockings on Christmas morning her CHILDREN would feel sorry for her and she wouldn't want to put a damper on their Christmas. So...it all depends, I guess. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 4/6/2008 4:25:47 AM | If he was rich and bought me a tiny ring - it would matter (cheapskate)
If I was rich, bought you a tiny ring, and it mattered that much to you, I'd be thinking what a lucky escape I had, bye bye and keep the ring . I always considered it the thought that counted and sometimes things that look cheap aren't necessarily so.
In view of the possibility that should things break-up you may not get an expensive ring back I'm afraid I'd be erring on the side of caution and while I wouldnt buy anything overtly cheap I certainly wouldnt be buying anything seriously expensive. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 4/6/2008 1:26:19 PM | Some crossed lines of communication there, and some unexpressed expectations.
Obviously the size of the diamond matters very much to her.
So why hasn't she spoken up about it long before? If the guy can't afford something more to her taste, she needs to be upfront and offer to pay the difference.
I 'm sure between the two of them they could manage to scrape together enough to get her a ring she's not ashamed of.
The major and unexpressed issue is, of course, not the diamond, or it's size.
It's the fact that she and he have much different values and expectations, and that for whatever reason, she'd rather stew in silence, than speak up. | |
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~tag~
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Joined: 2/7/2008
Msg: 186 | |
| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:24:10 PM | Well, not all relationships are ment to last. Condolences to your friend.
However, I do have another friend/ex neighbor who at Christmas time goes out and buys herself things to put in her stocking, etc. She knows her husband loves her, but is just not good at shopping, I guess. This is what she tells me. Don't think it's ME, ok? Anyway, the reason she does it is because if she didn't have anything in her stockings on Christmas morning her CHILDREN would feel sorry for her and she wouldn't want to put a damper on their Christmas. So...it all depends, I guess
No! 'Not good at shopping' is just another way to say "honey, I'm just too damned lazy and selfish to get off my ass and go to the store to get you a few tokens to have Santa put into your stocking, so you can just go do it yourself and I'll get a pass again this year for my crappy behavior".
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 5/27/2009 4:36:47 PM | | ill say this also what happen to the guy picked the ring out and ask her to marry him ...it should been special reguardless ....since he picked it out i really think this world had became too commercial its like we all have to keep up with the Jones.. i told my fiancee that pasted away i wanted a bubble gum machine ring i meant it because its not what it looked like its the thought he took to get the ring... | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:12:44 PM | | I've been a jeweler for over 20 years and if the size of the diamond is an issue BEFORE they get married,imagine the demands AFTER the ceremony.Buy the diamond engagement ring you can afford.....period!You'll have plenty else to spend the savings on as you start a life together.As for "blood" diamonds,they are illegal so if you get one you must have been looking for it or you're buying from an uninformed jewelry store,or the store was lied to at the time of purchase.Either way,the mining will go on,there will be buyers and life goes on as normal.Don't lose sleep over it. Worry about the things you CAN change....Thanks,JK | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:30:23 PM | I have heard women demand that their ring is a certain size, carot, etc. It always makes me feel that the ring is more important than the man. It's often a status symbol of who has the largest ring. I feel there are so many other things more important than a ring. I've seen some of the unhappiest women I know wearing huge, beautiful wedding rings.
In my opinion, people focused mostly on material things are often unhappy. My sister just bought herself another set of rings. They are very expensive and beautiful. I asked her why she spends so much money and buys herself so many things. She said that she is unhappy, and she buys herself things to make herself feel better. This is what I think of women demanding large rings - they are unhappy and feel the need to have nice things to make themselves feel better. How sad! | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 8/9/2009 12:39:02 AM | | A ring, or any other material symbol of commitment means nothing. He could buy her a ring worth several thousands dollars or a couple of hundred; the size of the ring has nothing to do with the size of his heart - but, apparently, the size of hers (in this case). I think it's rude and shallow to think one 'deserves' a specific size ring. If something happened to the ring - lost, stolen, whatever - does that change the way he feels about her? Seems like he bought her what he could afford with all good intentions - perhaps, he chose the good sense to hold back on the jewelry, and use his money to give them a better life, or a nice honeymoon trip, etc. Sorry, I just never got that Big Rock Syndrome ... the size of the ring is no guaranty on what kind of life you'll have together. If your love of your man is measured in carats ... well, you get the picture. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:23:03 AM | Yes in a nutshell. If it matters to her.
But can he afford something bigger, did he know that that would matter to her? etcetc. I have friends who have been proposed to with "fake" rings made of whatever was handy during the romantic moment. The sentiment was there - but we can't stop human nature. Heck, I know a few girls who have been embarassed to show their big, showy rings because they've seen the looks that some girls give them.
Personally I'd prefer a guy who proposed with a half-decent ring but knew me well enough that he'd more likely to get a yes by proposing with red kitchen aid mixer and my ideal cooking range. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:28:30 AM | The red Kitchen Aide works for me! LOL!
I understand it's personal choice, and some things are more important to others. Remember the silver 'spoon' rings that were popular in the 70's; the end of a spoon handle bent into a ring; some of them were quite lovely. A good friend of mine got one as an engagement ring - we were all very young and 'grooving' on love, yeah, yeah, yeah ... but she cherished that simple little ring. Last year, after their 38th anniversary, a fire destroyed their home, and she never found the ring again. Even though today, he makes a plump six figure income, and she aint doing half bad either - she's had a few nice wedding 'sets' over the years, the loss of her silver spoon ring broke her heart terribly. He found one on ebay, and they renewed their vows this year with the new ring. I can't say anything more on the subject anyway ... living in the times we're in now. I was raised with the upbringing to be grateful for each day is a gift, no matter what token comes with it; when you leave here, it stays behind. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 8/10/2009 1:42:36 PM | | If she loves him, damn what people think about the size of the ring. If she's embasrrased at the size of the ring, he shouldn't be marrying her. If that is her measurement about how much she's worth to him, then she's treating herself as a piece of property. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:18:50 AM | | I got ennaged 7 months ago and my ring has a cubic zirconia in it. But do I care? No because it is a pretty ring and unless I tell people they think he spent a fortune on a diamond. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:39:09 PM | A woman in her late 40's is "embarrassed by [size of] the ring", and she "deserves a decent ring".
This is absolutely outrageous. At this stage in the game, she won the lottery by receiving a proposal, and she has the audacity to criticize the manner by which it was delivered as being inadequate? This is ingratitude, and entitlement at an obscene, but unfortunately not uncommon, magnitude. One would hope that after close to 5 decades on this planet, folks would learn what's truly important. This woman here needs to get her priorities straight. It seems the shallow, judgemental opinions of materialistic others is more important than her fiancée, and she's obviously still too immature and insecure to have a healthy adult relationship.
She should accept the ring and wear it proudly, and say "to hell with anybody who would look down their nose at me. They're just superficial jerks, and I'm better off without them". But she can't because she has no self-confidence.
So she should go to her fiancée and tell him she’s embarrassed by the ring, and thinks that she's so special that she's entitled to huge rock on her hand so she can go around and impress all those stuck-up biotches who couldn't actually care less about her, and that he needs to cough up some more dough for a better ring. At least then he'll know exactly what he's got on his hands.
Any guy with a shred of dignity and self-respect would do exactly UniqueManinSoCal suggests on pg. 1:
1. I would listen.
2. I would take the ring back.
3. I would kick her petty uncaring @ss out of the door and hope the door doesn't hit you on the way out.
4. Sell or return the ring and look for a real woman who really loves me and will accept the best I have to give without being shallow or petty. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:07:50 PM | My cousin got a simple, humble engagement ring from her husband, and over the 10 years that they've been married, he's paid for several alterations turning it into one very distinguished ring. They have 4 kids and a stone for each kid. They were hurting her at some point and he had to pay to have it re altered so the stones were closer to the main diamond.
My pair of friends that are married, she paid for her own wedding ring. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:32:33 AM |
Well, the news was that she was getting married! Of course the first thing I asked her was to see the ring.
So, this woman has found somebody special and they are commiting their lives together, and your first thought was jewelry?
I would never buy an extravagant engagement ring. That's money that could go for a nicer honeymoon, a better wedding ring, or even just not spending so you don't start a marriage in poverty by its own extravagance. The engagement ring is just for show. Someone in their late 40's should be past the point of trying to make a spectacle out of a wedding. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:38:10 AM | a ring does not make the marriage, the people is what make the marriage. this woman has not even made it to the alter yet! women need to ask "am i marrying joe blow or is my mom or friend marrying joe blow?"
she can get a very nice ring on HSN or Qvc , they look real and some come in 14k or white gold. (starter ring) fake it till you make it....who cares. | |
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:38:21 AM | I can't believe people are still talking about the "size" of the ring.... In this time and age... tsk tsk tsk ....
How about you put that money down payment on a vacation house ? or a boat ? Something you two can enjoy for years to come ?
Stupid people wasting money on useless crap.... They're the same guys who cry after the divorce ! Oh she took me to cleaners ...
What did you expect IDIOT!
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| does size really matter in an engagement ring?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:14:45 AM | Size DOES matter.. to a golddigger.
A "decent" ring.. Yeah.. THAT will help with the mortgage.. THAT will help with retirement.. THAT will hug you, take you to the dr. when sick.. Yeah.. a big ole fat rock on your finger.. The down and out that start rioting to get food will notice it and take it away..
What to say?
You say.. It's a SYMBOL of his love and commitment to you. Wear it with pride. YOU are a lucky one to have a man willing TO commit.
THAT's what you say | |
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