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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/27/2008 10:55:21 PM | Absolutely...I would rather have one nice compliment that is genuine, than a bunch shoved down my throat that who knows if they are genuine or not.
I have heard men complain that they don't know how far we are willing to go and don' t want to push it, let alone offend. Well, if they would just observe our body language...it's usually pretty telling. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/27/2008 10:57:09 PM | Wow - a lot of posts trying to answer all situations.
It's quite simple, really.
MEN - be yourself, but LISTEN to the lady. If you compliment her or touch her hand, and she appears uncomfortable THEN STOP DOING IT. Pay attention to what she has to say, and recognize that only 20% of communication is the actual words. The rest is intonation, body language, etc and SHE WILL LET YOU KNOW if you are making her uncomfortable. 
WOMEN - be yourself, but be honest. We can't read minds, as much as you'd like us to. Don't play games, flirt for the sake of flirting, playing hard to get or disinterested if you are really interested. Any man worthy of your heart will listen to you, so be very aware of the message that you are sending. Enough with the frikkin head games.
Both men and women are comfortable moving at different speeds at different times in their lives. I have had women tell me they don't kiss on the first date and other woman ask me "Are you gonna kiss me or what". So I wouldn't try to give any advice that would work for every situation, other than LISTEN, really LISTEN to what the other person is really saying. Be intentional when it's your turn to talk and be very aware of what message you are really sending. Again, enough with the frikkin head games.  | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/27/2008 11:25:25 PM | Thanks all! The same holds true for people in the Pac NW (Seattle area)!
Be mine roses are 2 a month, or there's all those points accruing. But the scent of desperation is pretty schtinque. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/28/2008 6:01:56 AM |
Lost Cowboy, you old (er, young) scoundrel, again you dazzle us ladies with your wit and wisdom. The Calvin and Hobbes things was brilliant. But my favorite is your Abbot and Costello bit! I'll bet you rarely scare off a woman by coming on strong too soon.
Aw shucks, ma'am, ain't nuthun' but a simple cowboy... I was gonna say -poke, not -boy, but there's never anything simple 'bout that, is there? ;-)
Scared off, never. The problems come later, historically ;-). Trying to fix that part too, this go 'round ;-).
Cowboy | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:50:59 AM | | to sabinee & the other ladies this has never happened to-you're already lucky and you just don't know it...coastergal, i have to agree with everybody who says there's something wrong there-follow your instincts because this sounds like red flag territory if not an outright playa...i can't speak for all guys,(that's a switch,huh?)and in all likelihood i'm not right for you, but i'm never in a rush to make "miss right" into"miss right now"...you seem to be an attractive and intriguing lady,but this isn't open license for any guy with such poor taste and crass attitude to treat you this way... | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/28/2008 2:52:05 PM | I think you got it right on! Listen, act when appropriate, listen to your self and each other. Makes dating so much simpler. Just be honest if you are into eachother. Or if you not sure yet thats ok too.
There are some damn funny posts on there though.
Dating experiences and how some percieve whats going on!!!
I think some think there being honest but rather look good and beet around the bush.
ANY THING IN EXCESS IS NOT GOOD! enuff said! | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:36:38 PM | hi gal,think with something like that, hes trying to skip weeks probably months of dating,which for the right,right guy that time is special
think hes living on adrenalin cant help it,tyring to make a dive straight for your heart,hope iam not being presumptuous, i think with men they dont handle a women controlling the tempo,and its not really controlling the tempo, its trying i think to not spoil things and make the relationship totally about sex, iam sure this site and the women on here, are not advertising,meet for quick sex,
so to conclude and forgive me for long winded mail, trying to give some insight to you, from a man, so i would say,i think certain types like that behaviour,is cant handle a lady talking ,agreeing to meet (in your case) hes taking that for a virtually garrenty that you really like him, how could a tiny brain like his fathom that the dating is to find strengths, weaknesses
which his weaknesses were apparent immediately, anyway must go coastgal, drained after that | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:46:30 PM | | If a guy (first meet & greet) takes my hand and tells me that he wants me to be his girlfriend, trust me, I will haul ass so fast, he'd think an F-18 flew overhead. If I wanna jump into something, I'll mosey on down to LA Fitness and jump in the refreshing pool of water, or whip out my jump rope. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:24:34 PM | I definately wasn't playing any headgames .. that's for sure! I think telling someone I'm uncomfortable or don't take compliments well is giving a big hint but when it continued I let him know it made me uncomfortable and to please stop.
I don't want to get the ICK factor but I feel I'm getting it! I returned his call... to let discuss getting together and I fell silent when he said... he enjoyed seeing me accross the table. I'd like to hear he enjoyed the conversation... the laughs... not just fricken looken at me. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:24:49 PM | It should scare you off!!!!
Your senses are working properly and give thanks! Maybe the men you meet, should have their expectations quenched well before the meet. That this is to inform them that this is a very casual greeting time....and I will have friends around and you can meet some of them too. And maybe after I get through my really busy time at work next the following week, or two...we can email a time or two about the night and determine if we have anything in common? Be bold and in his face. If they cannot handle that, what will they do if you two are on a date and a mugger confronts you....use you as a shield? Don't worry about scaring him off...if he is scared....he is not worth your time anyway. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:43:39 PM | I've had men tell me that they want me to have their children without them even meeting me! Rediculous or what? (Not that I'm not ready for children, if I met someone soon and were with them for a decent period of time - 1 to 2 years, and we were in love and I knew they wanted children too, then I'd be discussing that with them).
Its just a bit weird guys saying "I'd gladly have a child with you", when they haven't even met you... does everybody agree?
Jasmine  | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:42:30 PM | I’ve met a few of these guys too and I wouldn’t have said they’re players … or just wanting sex … they’ve picked you off the shelf … and so assume (you are on a dating site after all) ....... you’re as needy and desperate as they are. Basically wanting to cut out the “getting to know you” (hard work = lazy) …. or maybe they don’t want to give you the time or opportunity of getting to really know them.
Have to ask myself … what’s the rush … are you hiding something ??
Gimme a break. Have they forgotten that you have a choice too ?? | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:54:10 PM | | pinklillies-a warning here-the last time i got a come-on from a woman who wanted to have my kids-sight unseen-it was somebody in Africa(where the laws are lax)trying to scam money from me...mayfair-many of these hurried come- ons are con-artists trying to exploit lonely women-it's a numbers game to them-if you don't fall for it some other poor lady will-trust your instincts-anybody trying to move too fast is a user of some sort... | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:00:30 PM |
One day you will wake up and realize how truly amazing he is...and when that day comes, he will be waking up next to the lady who already knew."
Ok... so this may be true... or maybe there are some signs I need to pay attention too...
All the compliments... and letting me know that he smokes (His profile states he's a non-smoker and mine states I'm looking for a non-smoker) He let me know that he purposely states he doesn't smoke because of the TYPE of women he would attract.
If he lies about smoking.... what else does he lie about? | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:35:40 PM | Are you serious? He lies about smoking because of the "TYPE" of women he would attract? What does that mean? What "TYPE" of woman is a smoker?
If he lies about smoking then your question is more than valid.
Randi. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 3/2/2008 7:29:55 AM | Re post 13 as it relates to the Opost:
"I'm much more comfortable taking things slow with a man who might be a contender for a serious relationship. Because, you really want to get to be friends first. But then there's the ones you know aren't going to last, so they can be the Boi Toys. Problem is THEY dont know which one you think they are LOL"
Most men, given the choice between the 2 above labels/categories (A) "Contender for Serious Rel", B) "Boy Toy") would prefer to fall under label ........
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 3/2/2008 9:26:45 AM | | already knows you're the one for him? that's lust, hormones. nothing wrong with it, but jeez, the guy needs to give it some time, and wait for the moment to see "hey, she likes me, so I'll say this and hopefully we'll both be in the same place". Often, it happens, often it doesn't. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 3/2/2008 10:03:31 AM | | i have had this happen sooo many times...all they want is sex!!! if all they can do is keep saying nice things you know there trying to hide something you'll eventually find out if you got involved with them...its a red flag for me if they keep saying nice things and i'll leave early cause its weirds me out...came across enough weirdos..nooo more.. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 3/2/2008 11:04:05 AM | Would seem that he believes he can change someone by getting his foot in the door -disguising the smoking habit- and trying to charm you into overlooking you stipulation. I'm a smoker and recognize that women who do not smoke state this in their profiles and are relative vehement in insisting that a prospective date not smoke. Seems like a pretty significant omission on his part and you may be correct in assuming that this "lie" is not the end of them.
Good luck. | |
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 3/3/2008 6:56:21 PM | Dating is uncomfortable (usually) off the internet. I mean you present a picture of yourself and expectations arise as a prelimnary of how presented yourself.
It's like an automatic filter in which "they" have expectations. How can you possibly express all of you in a profile??
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| Is it just me or does this scare others off as well?
Posted: 3/3/2008 7:08:42 PM | | That scares the hell out of me too. I was just talking to this guy a month ago who was real sweet and real cool to talk to. He kept complimenting me every 2 minutes. The first phone conversation went into marriage and kids. I mean like serious. Talking about booking a flight, getting married, getting me pregnant. The whole nine. The second week I got an "I love you." Im like huh. I mean I'm thinking I can't honestly say 'I love you back." I totally ran the other way. I feel bad kinda but I kept thinking what if I actually meet this guy. He's already talking this way, just imagine when we meet. | |
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