| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:52:36 AM | @heathenspirit:
I had quoted and therefore refered my comments to OutMind.
Why do you respond to my statements as if they had been refered to you?
Feeling guilty?
Also:
I'm only relating the truth. If you don't believe me, do some research and you'll find the statistical odds of getting HIV from a single sexual incident with an infected partner of the opposite sex is quite low. Somewhere around 1 in 500. Is this the kind of fact we shouldn't discuss? Sorry, but it's reality. And I'm not advertising for people to practice unsafe sex. Please don't put words in my mouth.
I have not only done my research but I have supported anti AIDS campaigns since the late 80's. Have you?
And I haven't put words in your mouth - I hadn't even refered to your statements.
But 1 in 500 in anything BUT low. That's actually pretty high.
Did I say anywhere in my last post that I don't like condoms. Nope.
Does this sound like I'm encouraging people not to use condoms?
Again, go back and read what I had quoted and directly refered to and read whom I had quoted: OutMind. NOT YOU. Gosh. You really seem to feel a pang of guilt...
But, yes, anybody downplaying the risk is indeed somewhat encouraging people not to use condoms und should be held responsible. | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:18:34 AM | Urbanessa,
I don't think anyone is downplaying the risk, but merely trying to settle the fearmongering that was taking place in here. Geez, when Magic Johnson announced he had HIV everyone in the sports world took a step back from the guy. He lost his endorsement deals, he was put on leave from the team until they could investigate further, and before that his teammates and the players union and the officials union's went ballistic! They refused to set foot on the court if he was playing. What if he has his wrist or throat or femoral artery slit while he was attempting a layup and was spraying his dirty blood all over the court?! It was ridiculous. I felt so sorry for the guy. He could have just retired and kept quiet but he decided to come public with it and educate and he was lambasted for it. Now he's well respected but still, I bet new people who meet him are gunshy about shaking his hand!
And just because they are making others aware of the real facts and risks of HIV doesn't mean they are encouraging those same people to ride bareback! | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:36:53 AM | I think it's very important to remember that 95% of all survey statistics can be made up on the spot 
The method of survey, the sample group, etc have tons to do with the outcome of the stats and there is absolute proof that people DO lie on surveys. They lie about their age, weight, income, neighborhood, place of birth, food preferences, sexual behavior, std's, cars, size of their houses etc etc.
Anytime I see a survey online that does not document their survey method nor details how they interpreted ( yes, INTERPRETED ) the results, I find it discreditable right off the bat and don't pay a bit of attention to their 'statistical results'. MOST surveys you see simply give their findings and nothing else because MOST people don't care HOW they came up with them. | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:39:02 AM | I had quoted and therefore refered my comments to OutMind.Why do you respond to my statements as if they had been refered to you?
Yep, An error on my part reading too hastily I suppose. My apologies for jumping on you. I should have paid more attention as there really wasn't any reason to attack my post since all I was doing was being truthful. My bad for assuming you had a problem with me.
Feeling guilty
Now that I've apologized, all my guilt is gone!
I have not only done my research but I have supported anti AIDS campaigns since the late 80's. Have you?
Indeed I have.
And I haven't put words in your mouth - I hadn't even refered to your statements.
Agreed. Again, reading and posting late at night is a perilous endeavour.
But 1 in 500 in anything BUT low. That's actually pretty high.
Well, that's a rather relative statement. In almost every discussion I've had with people who aren't familiar with this statistic, they are surprised that the risk is so low. Believe it or not, most guess that the risk is around 50/50. It's not even close to that. But, if you thought the chances of contracting HIV from single encounter was less probable than 1 in 500 then yes, you would think that this number is high.
But, yes, anybody downplaying the risk is indeed somewhat encouraging people not to use condoms und should be held responsible.
As I asked before, if a medical website lists these odds I've mentioned, should they be held responsible? Are they downplaying the risk? Should they fudge their numbers so people don't get too confident when having unprotected sex? Sometimes the truth doesn't fit everyone's agenda, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be mentioned. Would you prefer these truths not be discussed?
And for the record, I absolutely encourage everyone to use condoms. I also absolutely encourage people to wear seat belts when driving even though the odds of a person getting into an serious accident at any given time are remote. | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:40:39 AM | | Back to the core topic, I think that the stats quoted in the Opost show that many women earmark different men for pleasure/sex/hedone/eros and different ones for LTRs and commitment etc. Like a portfolio theory, they hold both stocks (risky, more fun) and bonds (very low risk, for stability, LT investment). That is why I guess so many women think/argue that their previous sex lives are private even from their best/soul mate SOs. They are far more "calculative"/practical and "liberal"/diverse than many "romantic"/honesty/"where are the good men" women would dare reveal! | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:50:22 AM | I don`t know if it is true or not , think I meet the other 70 % plus I do not tend to ask for sex on a first date.
Also as already asked what is sex, I did come across a quote that said real sex starts with a smile, if that is the case then we can all say yes 100% sex on a first date 
Any way I think the head line should read 30% of women we asked said..........
And I bet they only asked 10 and stopped there before the % went down and ruined their headline | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:54:43 AM | | A woman who says No to a man re sleeping on the first date does not mean she does not sleep with men on first dates, it merely means she will not sleep with this particular man on a first date. One of the reasons is/can be that she has earmarked him as "LTR material" and thus ...... | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:01:04 AM |
A woman who says No to a man re sleeping on the first date does not mean she does not sleep with men on first dates, it merely means she will not sleep with this particular man on a first date. One of the reasons is/can be that she has earmarked him as "LTR material" and thus ......
But nick*, isn't that what the men do too? After reading several threads on here about related topics, it sure seems like men are guilty of the same thing that you claim women do. They, too, have mentioned that they'd sleep with someone on a 1st date but wouldn't marry her or bring her home to meet the parents.
Maybe that's just human nature.
HR | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:13:35 AM | Re post 110
1. The Opost/topic deals with women, not men!
2. I agree that both genders do it , but: There are a few differences
a) Men are usually more honest about it. Most women not!
b) Most men would rather not be earmarked as the "LTR guy" vs the "great to have fun with" guy. Most women, the opposite!
c) The "Propaganda" argues that women do not do these things! That women do not "just have sex". And that men are dogs and we will sleep with ANY first date!
| |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:22:10 AM | | well the survey will keep changing cause so many rather keep that end hush hush cause its no ones business but your own...but ya i believe it for sure...see all the retarded amount of STD/STI threads in here??? all these people "scared" because so many don't care "enough" about there health to get checked out regularly or don't use condoms...all for there own reasons....but ya i guess its true cause many do want to have a good lay..both men and women want that...depends who your meeting and what they want.. | |
|
| |
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:36:30 AM | | What difference does it make if it's the first, third, fifteenth date that you sleep with someone?! If that person has "cooties" you're bound to get it eventually! Maybe use more discretion when you pick your dates and you won't have to worry about those sorts of things much. I don't remember if I said this in this thread yesterday or another one similar to it, but I'll say it again. Of all my friends and the people I know, and all would tell me, none of them have had an STI since after high school or when they started wising up and using condoms and being more careful with who they selected as partners. Most of my friends are in their 30's. Ask yourself how many of your friends and family do you know that have contracted something after they were 18 or 20?! I bet the numbers are rather low and if they aren't I think you should address the circle you run in. Just for the record Pink Rose Lady after the initial cooties comment none of this was personally directed at you! I realize now that it may look that way and felt obliged to add that! =) | |
|
| |
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:08:52 AM |
A woman who says No to a man re sleeping on the first date does not mean she does not sleep with men on first dates, it merely means she will not sleep with this particular man on a first date. One of the reasons is/can be that she has earmarked him as "LTR material" and thus
dadburn it Nick! Quit giving away our secrets...you you!
Cindy O | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:13:44 AM |
But nick*, isn't that what the men do too? After reading several threads on here about related topics, it sure seems like men are guilty of the same thing that you claim women do. They, too, have mentioned that they'd sleep with someone on a 1st date but wouldn't marry her or bring her home to meet the parents.
Yes, but how many women will actually admit they will sleep with someone on the first date, regardless of how the perceive their sex partner? Ladies? I'm expecting a flood of "No, I would never do that." However, my experience in life has taught me otherwise. Unless of course, as I mentioned earlier, the 30% mentioned in the OP never post in these forums. | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:21:02 AM | [Yes, but how many women will actually admit they will sleep with someone on the first date, regardless of how the perceive their sex partner?]
this is what i brought up as well...not every man and woman will openly admit to there past to just anyone...its all about preference the each person has and if theres equal chemistry there....dinno why anyone would make a big deal about having sex on a first date...its the mental state of mind to worry about... | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:24:54 PM | Unfortunately, a lot of women seem to think that the longer they wait before having sex, the more certain they can be that the guy will call them again after the sex.
Newsflash, folks. If a guy wants to keep seeing you, he's going to keep seeing you, regardless of whether or not you have sex with him on date 1, date 10 or date 30. There's no such thing as sexual-intimacy insurance, and using sex (or the lack thereof), as a way to make a budding relationship last longer is a sure way to end it sooner. It's the worst kind of game-playing, when you do it for the wrong reasons.
Then again, topics like this give some women the opportunity to play the "I'm a better person than you are because I make different sexual choices" card. God forbid we should allow for differences without it turning into a good girl/bad girl contest. | |
|
| |
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:39:35 PM | | Its true, from personal experience. I am the kind of person that has the utmost respect for women, and i would never try anything without the womans consent. But if you are on a first date, and she is coming on to you, and there is a mutual attraction, why not!! Of course it is very stupid to not wear protection with all the diseases going around out there. | |
|
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:49:27 PM | I was reading March 2008 SELF magazine the other day. In it's "Healthflash" section apparently cited survey from Sexuality Research and Social Policy that found "almost a third of women who placed online personal ads had sex on the first date, and 43% of them admitted to not using a condom."
Do you think that's true? - ejesq
I think that like anything else, it depends on the source of the information. I am not at all familiar with SELF
magazine, so I have no idea how to judge the article, in regards to the world (or rather, the world of online
dating). I have read articles for instance, about women masturbating. One magaine said 40% of women do,
another says 60% (this was back in 1980,btw). I read in Cosmo recently they claim it's 70% (I think, don't
really remember, just something I was wasting time with, in the checkout line,LOL). Now I remember thinking
at the time I read the first 2 studies, I figured that 50%, being in between the 2, might be roughly accurate.
However I was skeptical about the higher number, as it came from a rather "rique" nasty magazine & the
other (40%) from a well-respected sex researcher, who has written several books on the subject. But I recently
read her most recent book & the figure is much higher, so that might just reflect societal & attitude changes, in
the last 28 years. So it really depends on the source.
My experiences on POF (& chatting with other here & also reading the forums), makes me think that it may be
more common than it used to be. But I still think that 30% is INCREDIBLY high, unless they only surveyed
people who were looking for "intimate encounters", which would certainly skew the results now, wouldn't it?!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Also, the stigma about having sex on the first date is gone - spitfire6844
Oh really?! If that were true, why is there TONS of threads stating that men will not consider women "relationship
material", if they have sex on the first date? WTF?
ROFLMFAO!
And most of them don't see the hyprocrisy in saying they are looking for "long term", & attempting to get first date
sex, with THAT attitude. If that makes her "not relationship material", what does that make him?! | |
|
| |
| |
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:16:19 PM | | Razzired is bang on here. I'm not running away if a woman gives up the goods on the first date. I would say about 80% of the women I've been out with have hit the sheets the first date, and I keep my distance for the first date or so usually so to not strike alarm in anyone but if the mood is electric why get in the way of it; let nature take it's course. But if a girl holds out on me for the sake of trying to keep me around long term and I catch that drift I'm out. Fast. If she says she wants to wait and I will usually ask for some reason. And then my eyes are open for holes in her reason. I'm not looking to make her fail, I just don't like being played and some people are out there playing games like this. Having sex on a first date or not will not change my thinking about a woman. I'm going to either stay or go based on something else, that's for damn sure. But holding out for that reason is certainly going to be reason enough for me to end things. | |
|
| |
| 30% of women have sex on first dates?
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:20:20 PM | | By the time I get to a first date I've usually known the woman for a matter of at least a few months anyway so she's not exactly a stranger. | |
|
Home
login 
