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| This & That!
Posted: 3/27/2008 1:18:50 AM | First Flight
A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the****it hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, "OEING! OEING!
********************************************************************************Construction Work
There were two blonds & a brunette. They were all construction workers. The first blond asked the other blond why does the brunette get to hold the sign while we have to work in the ditch?She said I don't know, go ask her. So the blond went up to the brunette and asked her why she got to hold the sign. The brunette walked up to a tree & said it is like this, I am going to put my hand on this tree and you try to hit it as hard as you can. So the blond walked up to the tree & tried to hit it, but the brunette moved her han before she could hit it. The blond said OUCH oh now I get its. So when she got back. The other blond said ,"WHAT DID SHE SAY"? The blond said it is like this I am going to put my hand in front of my face & you try & hit it as hard as you can!
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A Little Short
A blonde goes to get her hair cut. The hair stylist cuts for about 30 minutes, hands the blonde a mirror and asks, "How do you like it?" The blonde says, "It's okay, but could you make it just a little longer on the back?"
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A Hunting We Will Go
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead go hunting. The redhead goes out and comes back with a new fur coat and says, "me follow tracks me follow tracks, me shoot bear." Then the brunette the same and says, "me follow tracks, me follow tracks, me shoot deer." Then the blond does the same as them, but comes back all bruise up with a couple of shreds of clothing left on her and says,"Me follow tracks,... me follow tracks,... , me get hit by train."
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:18:32 AM | She was so blonde...
...She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
...She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
...She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
...She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".
...She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
...She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
...She sat on the TV and watched the couch.
...She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...She tried to drown a fish.
...She thought a quarterback was a refund.
...She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
...If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.
...They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
...Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
...She tripped over a cordless phone.
...She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius".
...She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
...It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
...If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
...She studied for a blood test, and failed.
...She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
...She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
...She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
...She sold the car for gas money.
...When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
...When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
...She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
...When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
...When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home. | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/28/2008 12:26:52 AM | E-MAIL COMMANDMENTS
Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.
Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.
Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before sendest it.
Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.
Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.
Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE all CAPS.
Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.
Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of email, especially from work.
Thou shalt not use email for any illegal or unethical purpose.
When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.
And, the Golden Rule of email:
That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others. | |
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sally0
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Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 29 | |
| This & That!
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:22:43 AM | Okay, since this thread is about nothing in particular.....
Snowfall accumulations of 10 to 15 cm can be expected by Saturday night with further accumulations of another 10 cm possible by noon Sunday. Strong winds of 40 gusting to 70 km/h are also expected to develop with this system Saturday night creating the potential for low visibilities in blowing snow.
What the hell is up with that???????????????? | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:28:43 AM | | ^^^^^ that is spring time in mb - just when u think winter is gone, it comes back and smacks u on the butt | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:29:47 AM |
What the hell is up with that????????????????
It's a bunch of bull shit is what it is!! 
I was just telling a friend of mine (sarcastically of course) the other day, that I couldn't wait for that April snowstorm to come. Looks like it's going to happen a smidge early.
ARGH!!! | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:04:38 PM | Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.
They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden.......
'Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon I ahm sure of eet.'
'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee'.
So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.
'Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Eet EES a bacon tree!'
'Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don't forget.'
! 'Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree'.
And with that ...Luis races toward the tree.
He gets to within 5 meters, with Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden a machine gun opens up and Luis is cut down in his tracks!
It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
'Pepe...go back man, you was right...ees not a ! bacon tree.'
'Luis Luis, mi amigo...what ees it?
'Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...
Ees........
Ees...
Ees........
Ees....
Eees a Ham Bush!! | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:07:48 PM | A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please."
The butcher looks, and lo and behold, in the dog's mouth, there is a ten dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog.
So, off he goes. The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button.
Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. They do, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following. The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable.
The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and sits on one of the seats to wait for the bus. Along comes a bus. The dog walks to the front of the bus, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on.
The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus. The bus travels thru town and out to the suburbs. Eventually the dog gets up, moves to the front of the bus, and standing on his hind legs, pushes the button to stop the bus. The dog gets off, groceries still in his mouth, and the butcher still following.
They walk down the road, and the dog approaches a house. He walks up the path, and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door. He goes back down the path, takes another run, and throws himself -whap!- against the door again!
There's no answer at the door, so the dog goes back down the path, jumps up on a narrow wall, and walks along the perimeter of the garden. He gets to a window, and bangs his head against it several times. He walks back, jumps off the wall, and waits at the door.
The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog, really yelling at him.
The butcher runs up and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? This dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for God's sake!"
To which the guy responds, "Clever, my foot! This is the second time this week he's forgotten his key!" | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:10:23 PM | She was so blonde...
...She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
...She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
...She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
...She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".
...She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
...She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
...She sat on the TV and watched the couch.
...She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...She tried to drown a fish.
...She thought a quarterback was a refund.
...She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
...If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.
...They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
...Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
...She tripped over a cordless phone.
...She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put "Sagittarius".
...She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
...It takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
...If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
...She studied for a blood test, and failed.
...She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
...She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
...She thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
...She sold the car for gas money.
...When she saw the "NC-17" (under 17 not admitted), she went home and got 16 friends.
...When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
...She thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
...When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
...When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home. | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:14:41 PM | Mad Wife Disease
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. "What was that for?" he asked. "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it," she replied. "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained. "Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation." Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him on the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?"
She replied... "Your horse called."
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| This & That!
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:25:45 PM | Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
=================
Random Thoughts:
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
=================
Alcohol & Ammo
This is a fun site so why not try it:
http://crass.on.ru | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/3/2008 2:20:18 AM | A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.
He sits down and places the bag on the counter.
The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 9" high
and sets him on the counter.
He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small
piano, setting it on the counter as well.
He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a
tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.
The little man sits down at the piano, and starts
playing a beautiful Piece by Mozart!
Where on earth did you get that?' says the
bartender.
The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.
This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender
and says: 'Here. Rub it.'
So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of
smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him.
'I will grant you one wish... Just one wish... each person is
only allowed one!'
The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I
want A million bucks!'
A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon
followed by another duck, then another.
Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep
coming!
The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think your
Genie's' a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.'
'No way!!' says the man, 'do you really think I asked for a 9
inch pianist? | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/3/2008 2:26:24 AM | The Saskatchewan Cow
The only cow in a small town in Alberta, Canada, stopped giving milk. The people did some research & found they could buy a cow up in Melfort, Saskatchewan, for $200. They bought the cow from Saskatchewan & the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, & the people were pleased & very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow & produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought a bull & put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull & he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset & decided to ask the local Veterinarian, who was very wise, what to do. They told the vet what was happening.
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away" they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side & she walks away to the other side."
The veterinarian thinks about this for a minute & asks, "Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in Saskatchewan?"
The veterinarian replied, with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Saskatchewan." | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/3/2008 2:31:13 AM | Why Men Have Better Friends
Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends, eight of which confirmed that he had slept over, and two said that he was still there.
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:35:24 AM | The Ranch
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word.
" Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says,
"I want you to send her the word "comfortable."
The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big.
She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull. | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:41:50 AM | The Brothel
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.
"May I help you?" she asked.
"I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.
"No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply. Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie . Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third cons! ecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "South Carolina."
"Really" she said. "I have family in South Carolina."
"I know," the man said. "Your father died and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."
Lawyers. Gotta love'm! | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:47:09 AM | My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat. Sorry!
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new baby!
Did you ever find out who the father was?
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep. | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:00:36 PM | All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'
I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.
'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?'
'Ninety-eight.' she replied.
'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:
'I outlived the b!tches.' | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:16:46 PM | Ever wonder why???
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not
enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when
you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word in 'lisp'?
Why is it that no matter what colour bubble bath you
use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that
mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with
their vacuum cleaner,
then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch
something that's falling off the table
you always manage to knock something else over?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:21:11 PM | Paddy At The Bar
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking any more tonight, Paddy.'
Paddy replies 'OK Mick, I'll be on me way then'. Paddy spins around on his chair and steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'What the....' he says and pulls himself up by the chair and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. 'Damn!' he says.
He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shinnies up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.
'Bi'Jesus... I'm soused,' he says.
He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. He crawls down the street and shinnies up the door frame, opens the door and looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, 'No flappin' way.'
But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks, 'I think I can make it to the bed.' He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face again. He says, 'This is hell. I gotta stop drinkin',' but manages to crawl to the bed and fall in.
The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?' Paddy says, 'I did Jess. I was totally plastered. But how'd you know?' 'Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub.'
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:26:47 PM | Russian and Ukraine Jokes
Soviet Union period. There are three candidates to become a Rabbi in the Synagogue: the first knows Tora, but he is not a member of the Communist Party, the second doesn't know Tora, but he is a member of the Communist Party, the third knows Tora and is a member of the Communist Party, but he is a Jew.
Hallo! 911? A road-roller ran over a man!
- Ambulance will be there in 5 minutes. Please tell the address.
- Deribasovskaya str. 15, 16, 17...
- Rabinovich, how much money you put into the envelope you gave to this newly married couple?
- Does envelope cost nothing nowadays?!
- I invented automatic razor. Put the head into it and in a second you are shaved.
- But it is impossible: each head is different in form!
- Only for the first time!!!
Rabinovich bought two lottery tickets and won 1 million dollars by one of them. When friends came to congratulate him they saw that he is very upset, so they ask:
- Rabinovich, you have won 1 million dollars! Why are you so frustrated?
- Well, I'm thinking: "Why have I bought the second lottery ticket?!"Rabinovich bought two lottery tickets and won 1 million dollars by one of them. When friends came to congratulate him they saw that he is very upset, so they ask:
- Rabinovich, you have won 1 million dollars! Why are you so frustrated?
- Well, I'm thinking: "Why have I bought the second lottery ticket?!"
Wife is sitting near his dying husband.
- Masha, do you remember how I was fired and couldn't find a job for 3 years. You stayed with me then.
- Yes, darling, I remember.
- Masha, do you remember how I was drunk and got my car smashed up in an accident? You were visiting me in hospital for 5 years.
- Yes, honey, I remember.
- And now when I'm dying you are sitting here with me.
- (Crying) Yes, my treasure!
- Masha, I'm starting to believe YOU brings me bad luck...Wife is sitting near his dying husband.
- Masha, do you remember how I was fired and couldn't find a job for 3 years. You stayed with me then.
- Yes, darling, I remember.
- Masha, do you remember how I was drunk and got my car smashed up in an accident? You were visiting me in hospital for 5 years.
- Yes, honey, I remember.
- And now when I'm dying you are sitting here with me.
- (Crying) Yes, my treasure!
- Masha, I'm starting to believe YOU brings me bad luck...
An old Jew is dying.
- Rose, after I die, please, put the Torah, the Bible and the Koran.
- Why?
- To be on the safe side, Rose, to be on the safe side... | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/8/2008 8:37:16 PM | Bee Inconspicuous
Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how things were going.
"Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey."
"No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fruit."
"Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away.
A few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?""Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be."
"Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee.
"That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think I was a wasp." | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/9/2008 9:15:08 AM | Perhaps INNER peace is at work . . . no topic message, lol, this seems like the right thread . . .
lmao . . . Got to love the first coffee break of the day! The POF world has changed!
The reference to children is in the observation that when children are part of the home situation it increases the pressure on the adults. lol, part of my fun is trying to figure out what posts are really saying.
Yes, abstract thinking is different and not the usual. But who wants usual? I like the forums for the uniqueness of people and how they express their thoughts.
Chuckle, foolishness is the definition of becoming judgemental about forum posts. Agreed that it is difficult when two people are attempting to communicate and the styles are drastically different. Don’t think it makes anyone foolish.
I, and my friends, enjoy meeting interestingly unique people. We have met most of the colourful forum characters in real life, but not all simply yet. Is a desire to meet someone intelligently unique asking for a date? As my profile clearly states, I think it’s clear, I am looking for friends to do things with and am not solicting dates at all.
I suspect I am not THE man to everyone, only a man who tries to be special to his friends and hopefully THE man to one special friend that I adore. I would be honoured to meet more colourful folks from the forums in real life. If I never get that chance I will still smile at everyone's words. Little in the world is better thanthought provoking words that bring inner peace.
And in what universe . . .
Obviously . . . this universe . . . rofl
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:23:05 AM | Points to Ponder
Do pet turtles wear people-neck sweaters?
When credit cards were first available, a good many got a real charge out of it.
Who cornered the spice market? Some guy named Herb.
Don't trust pigs with secrets; they are the worst squealers you can find.
A synonym is the word you use when you can't spell the other one.
When your food tastes like soap, you know the cafeteria's kitchen is clean.
If you have two bananas, you have a pair of slippers.
That Newfoundland bird is always out of breath; he's a puffin.
She said she got an "A" in spelling, but there is no "A" in spelling!
A squirrel's nest is known as the nutcracker suite.
Junk is what you've kept for many years and throw away just before you need it.
After seeing a submarine, the sardine said, "There goes a can of people."
If fleas land on a rabbit, you have a bugs bunny.
If you put cocoa beans with a caribou, you might get a chocolate mousse.
Fresh garden potatoes never see eye to eye.
Baby fish like to swim into a concrete wall so they can say "dam" without
their parents scolding them. | |
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| This & That!
Posted: 4/10/2008 12:35:56 AM | More Points to Ponder
Can you cry under water?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both DOGS.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? | |
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