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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/28/2005 8:16:26 PM | about dating someone disabled... there are so many DEGREES of illness
and you have to take into account if your an active person, your not going
to have much in common with someone who is bedridden.
All diseases have degrees.
It also depends on things like if your just getting into a relationship or its someone you have been with a long time who becomes ill. Its just really hard to say because the two people involved and the specifics about them and all... well it varies.
If someone is too ill to carry on a otherwise regular life and do the things they want to do, its going to also become a problem in a realtionship. There are just so many variables.. hard to know what someone would do | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/28/2005 9:06:36 PM | Yeah i understand that, I was basically looking for disabled person, any level really. I'm just kinda looking at ages or people, and the general yes or no answers. I read the profiles of people who answer either way, to kinda get an idea of the person as well. Just an informal personal study I guess you could say. Just maybe a "Yes" to a certain extent, or like an earlier post said, physical yes, mental no, or not to the quadrapalegic level, but para would be ok.
If you guys notice, everyone is saying Yes, and I can't remember any No's
most are in the 30-40 range
26 posts includind several from me, and yet 220ish views.
2 personal mails,
I wish there was a way of telling how many of them would say, yes and how many no. It's hard to admit in public that you wouldn't date a disabled person, so if you are reading this, just email it to me, I won't say your name, just count age group, and yes or no, and maybe ask you through email a question or 2 about your opinion and why.
Thanks again to everyone that is posting!! | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/28/2005 9:23:45 PM | | I think you are missing the message: even disabled females don't date disabled guys. I've seen several ads by disabled females who specifically say they don't date disabled guys. Able bodied guys are lining up to date disabled females so they have no incentive to date disabled guys. Guys are alot more forgiving and kind than females. It is an inescapable conclusion. | |
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azrael
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Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 29 | |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/28/2005 10:32:08 PM | well...... i dunno.....
how big are her tits?
does she put out?
can she scream my name during sex?
does she have more then 1 face? and can i consider that a threesome?
is she into sex in burger king bathrooms? and can we use the handicapped stall?
do i get to park in the handicapped spot?
these are all questions i will need answered befre i can form an honest opinion on this one...
ok i'm kidding, but can you answer anyway? and maybe give me her phone number? | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/28/2005 10:37:41 PM | I had a family member with simple chronic fatigue syndrome before even the gulf war he has this he said..and whether it is the mind body connection or something back in time..he said he felt low energy and horrible sometimes. He's a great guy...for years he was single..and as a vietnam vet..he would to to movies on 4th of july to avoid the booms and bangs...but..in the end..he hesitantly swore off women..but then..finally..to all our suprize..met a quirky but persistant gal and even let her live with him and they go married. Most young people that have seen no stuff or know what counts I guess will go for the gold..but you're right...it shouldn't matter..FOR ME NOW..the land of misfit toys has been a great place for me to meet people..and foreigners seem to love me...for some reason...they don't think I'm a strangeling or poor..they think I'm great white american (WHICH I AM) if I believe it..then I can achieve and conceive it..BUILDING IT so they will come..step right up...(guess my bearded ladies weight? ) ;)
seek and u will find. change the changeable accept the rest. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/28/2005 11:23:07 PM | | I have in the past and would do it again. I actually have Fibromyalgia, and CFS as well. My experience lately has been that once a guy finds out I have an illness they run for the hills and think the worst. That just showed me that he was definitely not the right guy for me. It seems that it will be a lot tougher to meet someone that is okay with it, and supportive. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/30/2005 7:32:56 AM | johomi .... You mention being 57 years old and your profile says 30. You might have a better chance of finding the right woman if you change that.
OT: Yes, I would date somebody who is disabled. But then again, I fit into the "category" of single moms who have already entered the real world and know what is important. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/30/2005 10:59:53 AM | | My ex only had one eye... don't know for certain if that is considered a disability. It's the person that matters... I know it sounds cliche but it's true. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/30/2005 11:07:53 AM | for me, it would depend on the disability and the severity.
Honestly, Im not sure (cause its never happened) if I could date a wheelchair bound gal or an amputee.
hmm, truth be told, I haven't put all that much thought into it. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/30/2005 11:16:19 AM | | Yes, I have in the past with a few men who were physically challenged. That does not really mean anything if you have feelings for this person. Everyone of us needs love, and they are just as capable as giving it as an able bodied man. Sometimes you just have to have your priorities in order.... | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/30/2005 1:12:11 PM | Once I met a woman with some form of progeria, where you can be 20 but look exactly like you're 80 or 90. I met her at a party and we hit it off, and she gave me her number.
I went to her apt but in the end I didn't make a pass at her because I was too overwhelmed in the end by her appearance. (This was about 15 years ago) We never spoke again. Progeria is maybe not technically a 'disability', she had no trouble as far as I know maintaining a career.
so my answer is: I think I would go out with a disabled person, but I've been wrong before.....
MrH | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/30/2005 8:20:42 PM | Hey there, Me again :-). Well, I am seeing a lot of "yes i woulds" out there within certain conditions, which is fine. I would not be able to date some disabled women either. Ex is I couldn't date someone in a wheelchair, because 1/2 the time my muscles wouldn't work well enough to but it into the back, and all thogh I am not sure, I would imagine a ramp is expensive. For me personally, there are really 2 types of disabled people I would have probles with, one is the depressive type, who hates the word because whatever happed to her. I need a positive attitudes in my life if I want a chance to beat this. And the 2nd, are certain mental problems. but it really is all about what is INSIDE the person.
thanks again for all the good posts, and opinions | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/30/2005 9:37:59 PM | ^^^ That's true, it isn't about the body but about what's inside. Positivity is an important quality for anyone .... able bodied or not. I find that a lot of handicapped people take less for granted and therefore are less whiny compared to those of us who easily take things for granted, whether or not they're related to the fact that we're able. I've been temporarily handicapped, and it gave me a different perspective on things. I walked with a walker for 6 months. I know how hard it is to cross the street before the light turns green. I experienced the looks, the pity, the staring, etc, etc, etc.
You're right that you need to have a positive attitude to beat certain things, but in my opinion, you have to be able to accept things before you can beat them.
Not to say that you have to resign yourself to anything. Only that without acceptance and acknowledgement you can't expect to be fighting all aspects with all of your strength. (Hope that made sense)
As far as the expenses, we all make sacrifices for love. If a person loves you the cost will mean nothing. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/31/2005 3:48:17 AM | ..........DIS- abled ??? .... your mind still works .. your heart still feels ...your eyes still take in beauty that surrounds you... you breathe in life everyday !
It's such a shame that we as a society have allowed such a word to contaminate our tongues .... But then again we are so famous for placing lables on our foreheads!
 Vespa Chick | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/31/2005 9:39:11 AM | Well this is an interesting forum...curious the answers. I am aperson with a unique challenge and have not had much challenge dating. It is the bell curve as it is for most. It has only been the last few years that i have been seriously looking for a long-term relationship. Before that i travelled, adventured, experienced, it wasn't a priority. One thing that being unique and having the challenges of say, being in a wheelchair has, is a FILTER. The women i have dated have been amazing people. They look past what they see and into ME. We are often driven/influenced by assumptions and that is unfortunate. OR a developed story of who we wish to meet (i.e the night in shining armour, who is amazingly intellegent and has the adonis body etc) and i think this can keep us away from meeting someone truly rewarding....SO i encourage those to look past what you see. We all have many gifts to offer..... I feel those with physical or other challenges bring a bunch of lived experiences that most will not have....I have lived one lifetime from two perspectives...how cool is that.
Peace Out....Oh ya...still single :))) www.jeromeinspires.com | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/31/2005 8:13:02 PM | Hi there again,
to Mommy of 2
I definately acknowledge that I have the issues I have, but I do not accept that I am staying this way. So many Dr.'s have told me life long condition, and I won't accept it. They don't know enough about it yet for me to accept it, and I don't know how Dr.'s can say it is going to be a life long condition, when they themselves, don't know much about it.
Yes, cost means nothing in terms of love, but it can definately make things a lot more difficult, when you have to try and get grants, or specially funded equipment that tons of people are in line for.
to: Vespa Chick
My mind still works on occasion. With FMS there is a symptom, or side effect or whatever you want to call it, that most patients call Fibro-Fog. It's almost like an alzheimer's case some days. Eah day is different, heck each hour can be different. That breathing part, well that's an issue sometimes as well, and actually my eyes have been documented to change from 20/20 to 20/200 in a matter of 16 hours. I understand what you mean though, I'm just being a little difficult I guess after a very long day. I definately agree that there are way too many labels out there that people place on others. Why can't we just see each other as Humans?
to ich_bin_die_sonne
I am not looking only for Asian women. Maybe I should have worded it using "old fashioned values" but 1/2 the people my age (27) probably have no idea what that means either. I'll definately find a way to word it by the time I rewrite my profile though to help clear up confusion. I do state in current profile,
"I pick Asians, because of thier morals, and beliefs that they are typically raised with. I'm not ruling out anyone of course,.."
"However, if you are Kind, Loyal, Loving, Smart, Attractive, ready to settle down, and are willing to stay at my side no matter what, thats what I'm looking for."
armswideopened
I very much enjoyed your post. I can relate to your story fairly well, as being an athlete before. I got the amazing experience to actually play in Gund Areana ( Where the Cleveland Cavs Pro NBA team play) at 17. I too have travelled a lot. I had called off work on 5 different occasions from 5 different states for spur of the moment trips, as well as many trips to Windsor with the hung over call in when I was under 21. I got to enjoy a lot of life before this happened to me, then this happens, and it is truely another world. I have changed, and began to see things I never would have ever seen with my old life. While it is a blessing that this happened, I have learned, amazing things about myself, more in the past 2 years, then the first 25 combined. If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger right?
I should mention that while I have official had this for 2 years now, I have dated for over 1/2 of that time. It's just that I can't find a woman who will actually believe me, and in me. Last person, wasn't my normal type at all, but her Heart, Soul, and Mind, seemed to be it. I told her straight out, that the most important thing to me, is someone that will believe me, as I face an invisable condition, where it is all, well mostly, internal. We fought often, then one day she told me that she thought 1/2 of my problems I was faking. The only reason i was with her was she supposedly believed in me.THe thing that changed it, was I lost all stamina, and it felt like an athsma attack, she thought no way, he's faking. So, i look up most recent changed med, and common side effect difficult breathing, and partial collapse of the throat. That was the end of that relationship. The one before was even worse. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/31/2005 8:46:16 PM | | Sure I've considered it. I don't meet alot of people who aren't able bodied...I'm not about to go out of my way to prove something to myself but I would certainly consider it, depending on the situation. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 11/23/2006 6:20:42 AM | I've been reading the many different threads on this base subject and have enjoyed reading the different views and opinions.
There are a few quotes I'd like to share that I think people need to remember when looking at any potential mate or even making new friends.
To paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "you cannot judge someone simply by the color of their skin or the condition of their body. You must judge the person by the content of their
character. "
"The key here is to realize that everyone is different, and a disability (or lack thereof) is simply a condition of the body, not the full measure of the man or the woman."
"that a person is only as disabled as you let them be and inside that person is someone whom isn't disabled and is worth getting to know."
"Disability is a matter of perception. If you can do just one thing well, you're needed by someone." Martina Navratilova
My 2 cents... | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/4/2007 4:41:07 AM | | Grachman, I agree with you there. It appears that Disabled Females don't date Disabled Guys. At least in the ones I've experienced. I have Epilepsy and got classed Unemployable, therefore no big pay-checks rolling in. But I became friends with a woman in the same situation as me (no job) and tried to date her. She laughed. Her idea of Mr Right is the same as any other woman... a guy with a job, nice house, nice car, and loads of money for vacations. Or as she likes to put it, "Two Wrongs don't make a Right." | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:30:40 AM | we all become disabled at the things in life which we don't understand,love,relatioships,sometimes friends,.............
and so on.......... | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/4/2007 5:55:30 AM | Its so easy for people on here to say yes they would or they have,,,I have a disabled friend and she is absolutley beautiful,,,and very professional.
She can count on one hand how many times she has dated in the last 10 years,,,I think what you are really asking is how many people would want to spend the rest of their lives with a disabled person? | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/4/2007 6:30:27 AM | | I have in the past dated 2 men ( not at the same time ) both of whom where parapeligics. Both had vehicle related injuries in their late teens. Really wasnt any different then dating someone not in a wheelchair, actually they were more fun as they had the mentality of life is to short, to hell what people think.....and when I got drunk, I didnt have to walk home, I always had a ride...lol... | |
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