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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:17:38 PM |
Most questions are fine, if asked in a non rude & prickish kind of way.
At the end of my profile I state 'An honest question will get an honest answer'. I have no problem answering a question on any topic so long as it's honest. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/29/2007 5:18:14 PM | HonorPrestige,
I am also a technically a "handicapped" person, who was an athlete before. I was a very good goalie & also played soccer along with hockey. I was in a serious a single 1 car accident when I was 17 on 2/05/98, 3 months before my 18th B-day. I had a TBI (Tramatic Brain Injury) had to relearn everything all over again. Though I was in a month long coma I recovered fully after about 6months. Though I was somewhat of a miracle, it still required a lot of hardwork from me. I returned to highschool to repeat my senior so I could graduate, doing so allowed me to go on to UND (Univ of North Dakota) I then graduated in 7yrs with a great degree. I graduated May of ‘06 w/ General Study’s degree; with focuses in Communication, Geography and Philosophy. Now I am in the midst of applling to Northwestern Health & Sciences massage school, in Minneapolis, MN. I plan on furthering my education by going there in Sept of '07 to get a massage therapy certificate. So now I am acomplished person but still am feeling the need to accomplish more. I have not been in a meaningful realationship of any kind in almost 9yrs. I am happy enough by myself... Just b/c u are diabeled in some way doesn't mean you need anybody, be happy and content with yourself 1st and above all be patient. You need to be happy with yourself first because how can you expect anybody to like you when you cant like yourself?
unique type guy 29 | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/29/2007 6:53:39 PM | | I think that you might want to compromise your stance on the single mom thing. So they're not your children but you all can get along just fine if you are open minded. I just started dating a single mom. Thought that it might be strange but actually her daughter is cool and we all laugh and have a good time. Or you could get a Hybrid car and drive out the the nice Asian girls that you spoke of. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/29/2007 9:28:56 PM | | Wow! I would hope that I would be compassionate and decent enough to be able to look past a disability. Part of me wants to scream 'yes', but part of me also wonders if I would actually be able to handle it. I would be worried that I might see them AS their disabilities, instead of as the person they are. That's just honesty though. I would really, really hope I could be better than that though. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/29/2007 10:13:22 PM | I saw a man on Saturday night at the Fireside Grill in Victoria who I think is a quadraplegic. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Sometimes someone has that "it" factor and I was dying to go over and invite him out for coffee. But I think he was with his family - brothers, dad and mom, and couldn't find a way to make the move without all of them involved as well.
I liked his eyes and his smile and the way he listened as people around him spoke. Nice shoulders too. ;-)
You never know who is going to catch your attention. I was completely distracted by him all night even though I was sitting with three perfectly nice guys. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/30/2007 12:36:49 AM | I met a guy and after just 2 month dating he had a heart attack .He had been told to stop smoking but didnt.I arranged for him to stay at mine for a few weeks to recuperate after his operation.He lived a fair distance from me. I cooked for him made sure he adhered to his rehab programme and his relaxation exercises .It was 3 weeks before he went home.I paid for all the food for him.We carried on seeing each other.A few months down the line he had a massive heart attack.He had still not stopped smoking.He died on the operating table.They had to use paddles to bring him back.
Lots of things went on .But the point i want to make is .He had a choice to be well and fit.To have me in his life as we were very close by then.He wanted us to be together.Told me he loved me.But he did not apreciate what he had.After we had an argument and fell out .Which i thought was something we could sort.Within ten days i caught him texting a woman off date ad.The things he said he would like to do to her were disgusting.This was on a first text he had not even met her.So although he was left with big health problems .He did not apreciate the person he said he loved.At the first sign of a problem he was looking for another woman.Even though he said he would not have made it without me .I finished him.He said he had made a big mistake.Wanted me back.But it was too late the damage was done. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/30/2007 4:39:56 AM | WoW chick...that guy obviously was a fool. His choices were all stupid. I'm reminded of a passage I just used myself..."don't cast your pearls before swine" | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/30/2007 2:20:11 PM | | of course... I always put myself in the other persons shoes, if I was to get in an accident tommorow, Id hope there was someone out there for me!! | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/31/2007 6:35:52 PM | | i might or might not date a person with a disability. it would really depend on the "whole package". i would certainly be open to it, but if it appeared that their disability would be an issue, i might decide not to. i think it would partly depend on the complexity of the disability - if for example the guy is an amputee, i don't think it would be a problem. ditto for blindness or deafness. i really don't know enough about fibromyalgia to say, but i'd probably give it a try and see what i thought of the person before making that decision. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/31/2007 6:46:40 PM | Hi All
Yes, I would date someone who has a disability and I have done it and I will do it again,Nobody chooses to be disable,however it is something out of control and naturally happens,If I like the person and that person is cool ,why not.
This Is Only One Man's Opinion.
PEACE | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 1/31/2007 7:06:12 PM | Well guys do date disabled women and women date disabled men, a personal preference for most people seems to be that they dont want to be a nurse maid, or have to take care of the person.
I would have no problem at all dating someone with a disability. It has never been only about what you look like and ... after twenty minutes speaking with someone "who they are" shines through the container. I have known the most perfect looking people that were totally boring, self absorbed, narrow minded and mean sprited negative,
and the most wonderful, exciting, intelligent, sweet, kind and loving people that were not the "model" looking and totally captured my heart. It aint in the wrapper!!
The wrapper gets old...People get sick and injured and get old... they can always improve who they are as they age.. and I have never seen a person that looked better after plastic surgery, most end up looking like monsters...
give me real!
BL | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 2:46:32 PM | | well i dunno where to start here - i AM diabled and have been for years, my wife left becos as she put it " i joined up to be a wife not a nurse " how true that was i dont know, seeing as she was already messing with several blokes b4 she left, i was in hospital after a serious accident when she left, this time with a so called friend, [ i really miss him ] now i find it almost impossable to meet other women, not becos of my disability [ fits and blackouts] but becos since she left i have become something of a hermit and now suffer from agraphobia, so will never, im afraid to say, feel the warmth of loving female arms and kisses, since joining this site ive never chatted to so many women in 5 yrs, but to get back to the question "would you date someone who is disabled " i would say yes definatly " ahh" but i hear you say " you would say that your disabled "true but im not DIS - CARING dunno if any of this makes sense but in my mind it does. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 3:16:47 PM | Methinks your wife is more disabled than thee, and therein lies the pathos of disabilities.
Many would consider me disabled since I had polio as a child however, I've worked for decades in many environments with people who had equivalent problems. There are two kinds of handicapped people in the world; Those who do the best they can without complaining or whining and those who use their disabilities to impose themselves into the lives of others. I cite the case of G, a civlian municipal employee of a police department in a large city. She got the job through Vocational Rehabilitation and was assigned to the typing pool, where I also started. Our disabilities were very similar, though where I chose to walk and go through physical therapy to build up atrophied muscles, she did not. She used her wheelchair as an excuse to complain about how unfair the world was/is, as an excuse not to bathe, not to put forth more than minimal effort and not to care. Were G to experience a miracle of modern medicine and not be paralyzed anymore, she would still be the most handicapped person I've ever met.
Thank you. Drive through please. | |
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Wylee
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Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 92 | |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 4:54:40 PM | I read this and I think a couple of things.......
1. I don't understand fibromyalga so I cannot tell how easy/hard your symptoms are to deal with but if you "have adapted fairly well, to that you wouldn't really even notice anything is wrong" I don't really understand what you consider a disability?? Isn't a disability something that cannot be ovecome??? The word is DIS-ability not life challenge.
2. Peoples willingness to date or not date other people has ALOT more to do with attraction, common interests, and that "click" we all look for than a label that you choose to put on yourself.
3. You're your own worst enemy. In no way do I advocate disnonesty to the people you are chatting with online, there's definatly enough of that going around at present and no one wants more, but anouncing your hardships to people before you've exchanged word one with them is an excellent way of making sure they're not interested in talking to you, it screams self pity, no matter how much you announce to me how inspiring I'm supposed to find you.
If you were trying to sell a car would you write an add that read "1998 brand X car for sale, high miler, hard starting, cannot travel quickly or be driven in any kind of sporty manner, $500, 000.00 non-negotiable on price" That's how your profile reads to me, to paraphrase, "I'm disabled, in pain all all the time, I have no money, and no prospect of change or for a better future, seeking a fit, beautifull, caring, smart, sweet, highly intelligent woman to care for me, those with children or weight problems need not apply"
As a person with a disability (paraplegic for 4 years now) I can tell you that a disibility does not have to slow your dating life down, mine is more active now than it ever was before I was injured, and I know people with far worse disabilities than mine who have met and married their partners in spite of their situation.
As a side note, I did not read the entire thread so I'm not sure if this was answered or not but yeah that joke about the guy who could not beat or walk out on a woman, I for one didn't find it offensive, in fact the insinuation about the toungue is pretty accurate :P, but A paraplegic can't use the lower body, a quadraplegics upper body is effected as well as the lower, and the person in that joke who had NO arms and legs was an amputee, all pretty different things lol. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 5:07:52 PM | honor prestige i would absolutly date someone who is disabled. i wouldnt even think twice. so long as you are fine with it its not something that would bother me. your still the same person disabled that you would be if you were not disabled. i am looking for someone to treat me decently and with consideration and respect. i have looked for that man for a long time and there are very few things that would make me hesitate to date someone and disability is not one.i am sorry for the kiss off you have gotten by those women but would you really want someone who couldnt accept you??? it seems there are worse things that women will put up with in a man .i dont get that at all but whatever floats there boat right. i guess we all have prefernces. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 5:18:57 PM |  The Doctors call me Hadicapped,Not me, it hurts like hell for me to walk, but I do, it is dangerous for me to work, But I do, I would even date if there was anyone that wanted to... 
 Iguess because I won't roll over and play dead, there will be no nice gal for me... Bummer Summer... | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 5:41:18 PM | | that was pretty funny, nope sorry the tits r small it's easier to walk when u r disabled when u don't carry too much weight as well. u can 2 park close 2 the door. (all the better to get away on a bad date) i don't say disabled it's "differently abled," i don't tell strangers, if they ask why i'm limping i say i wiped out on the bunny hill lol | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 5:46:42 PM | | that was pretty funny, nope sorry the tits r small it's easier to walk when u r disabled when u don't carry too much weight as well. u can 2 park close 2 the door. (all the better to get away on a bad date) i don't say disabled it's "differently abled," i don't tell strangers, if they ask why i'm limping i say i wiped out on the bunny hill lol | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:44:47 PM | To the OP - I have ME, very similar to FMS, and I am about to get a referral to an FMS specialist as I suspect I have that as well (a number of relatives have/had it so I know the symptoms). Therefore that would not put me off dating someone, although I had to wonder if we'd ever find a time when we were both okay enough to go meet up 
I have mentioned the ME on my profile because I don't want someone contacting me then disappearing when they find out. I'm sure there are lots of people who won't let it put them off. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 10:04:16 PM | Allow me to change my previous statement. Not just no, but HELL no, I wouldn't date someone who is disabled. Not again. At least not someone who wasn't comfortable with their disability. Otherwise it's just a setup for frustration and disappointment. YOU can be as loving and accepting as you can be, but if they can't accept themselves, it's pounding your head against the wall.
Bitter? You bet I am. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/11/2007 11:30:41 PM |
YOU can be as loving and accepting as you can be, but if they can't accept themselves, it's pounding your head against the wall.
Without giving someone with a disability a chance, how is anyone going to know FOR CERTAIN that they might not click?
Sure, I have an enlarged heart, which prevents me from rock climbing, sky diving, bungee jumping, running a marathon, snowboard, skiing, and other things, but then again, I don't do those things anyways.
How many able bodied people have taken part in a wheelchair race? Anybody? I'm willing to bet big money on the person bound to a wheelchair to blow the wheels off your wheelchair in a race! That would make them BETTER than someone that isn't in a wheelchair.
How about going through the day with JUST using 1 hand, or 1 arm, or 1 anything. I'm willing to bet money again, that the person that does it on a daily basis would work circles around the person that has the advantage of being able bodied.
Let's see ummmm........like the drummer for Def Leppard, let's see someone that can drum with both arms, beat out a tune with just one arm. That would make the drummer BETTER than someone that has both arms.
Disabled people lead normal lives, they just live them differently. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:23:48 AM | | The difference between you and the person I'm speaking of is that YOU are comfortable with your disability. You don't make people feel guilty or shut people out or drown in neurosis. That is what I am talking about. I would have to tread with extreme caution if I was to date someone with a disability again. If it's no problem for you, it's no problem for me. If it's a problem for you, I wouldn't want to get involved. In the particular case that I'm thinking of, he was physically disabled yes, but he is emotionally crippled by that fact, and THAT was the problem. | |
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