| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:40:44 AM |
The difference between you and the person I'm speaking of is that YOU are comfortable with your disability.
That reminds me of two guys I knew in college. Both were blind but one was comfortable with what he is and the other wasn't. They were night and day. Recently I did a google search on the one that was comfortable. I found a newpaper article about him; he was in one of the towers on 9/11 and was one the 92nd floor. With the help of his dog he was able to get out of the building via the stairs. It was an amazing feat but I'm not all that surprised he was able to pull it off. Mike never did let his lack of vision slow him down. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/12/2007 12:57:00 AM | Just like anybody else, disabled people are allowed to have bad days too.
I've sat here and thought "WHY ME" at times.
Like the one night outside the VA hospital. I was outside for some air, and there were other veterans smoking & joking in the front of the hospital.
I was spending the night at the hospital for a procedure they were doing the next day. While outside, I was talking with one of the guys.
He was in his early 20's, with a clean fresh out of school look to him. Pretty good outlook on life and the cards he's been dealt. He was over in Iraq, and he got shot. He's now paralyzed from the waist down. The rehab, and physical therapy for him I'm sure is brutal, but while setting out there that night, he was laughing, joking, and having fun with the rest of us, and having a good time, just like he would if he wasn't in the chair.
Other than being in a wheelchair, what's his fault that would prevent him from being a nice guy for someone?
I'm sure if asked, he would share the story of how he ended up in the chair. Should he give up and crawl into a corner and wait for his maker? NO! I'm sure he'd make a great teacher, or anything out there that doesn't require the use of his legs.
I have disabled veteran plates on my vehicle. On good days, I'll park anywhere I want to. On a rough day, I'll park in a handicap parking spot.
For me to give in to my disability, and WOE IS ME, then I would agree that I wouldn't want anybody dating me, because I would be a tough person to deal with, when I can't even deal with myself.
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 2/12/2007 9:59:07 AM | After losing my left foot and ankle last October, I've found that in most cases it doesn't matter that much to other people. I'm sure part of the reason is that it hasn't slowed me down. In fact, it's made me more determined to manage on my own. Before I had my surgery, the doctor and I talked at length about what I should expect. He told me that I would never wake up some morning and have a new foot at the end of my leg. That did it for me. I finished my physical therapy in 9 weeks instead of 12, worked myself to the limit to strengthen my leg muscles and regain my balance. Now I have a prosthetic leg and I can climb stairs "foot over foot" without assistance, I've gotten up on a step ladder, I walk about a mile a day and I hope to go back to work one of these days.
I'm the same man now that I was before my amputation. In some ways I'm probably a better man. Every day is a new challenge, you just have to be willing to face them with a good attitude and desire. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/7/2007 2:23:20 AM | There are no "normal" people, just people. and the sooner "normal" people realise they are usually ignorant jerkoffs to anything and anyone who is different in anyway, the better off we'll all be. most "normal" people, myself included, are lazy people who have absolutely nothing stopping them from succeeding in life at anything. We have no true obsticles or adversaries, yet we choose to not succeed. It's very pathetic. If "normal" people could be half of a "disabled" person and their triumph's and success', we'd all be "perfect" people.
To actually answer the question, i was in an office building lobby in downtown edmonton about 9 years ago, and met the most beautiful woman i'd ever seen. she was in a wheel chair, and just something about her was so striking that i have never forgotten her. All i got from her was the time, and it was enough to stop time in my heart. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/7/2007 2:28:08 AM | | I agree. The best relationship advice i ever received (which really just has to do with people in general, able or disabled) is "A Relationship is only as healthy as the people in it" That's what i believe to this day, regardless of anything else, and it's what i expect from a mate as well. otherwise, we're always fighting demons inside and out. | |
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mickc1
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Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 108 | |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/7/2007 2:34:14 AM | yeh i wouldnt have prob dating some one with dissability,myabe not an extreme one but that being said i wouldnt not be friends with someone who has the dissability,but wheelchair, blind aputee, yeh open to it, for me helping/or putting a wheel chair in car would be same to me as politely openning a door for a lady,
regards mick | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/7/2007 2:52:33 AM | My Daddy used to say there are two kinds of people. Those who have been through some sh*t in their lives, and those who haven't and the two will never understand each other.
I believe he is right. Would not trade in any of my skidmarks if it meant losing the outlook on life I have today.
Keep on Truckin'
Shade | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/7/2007 6:58:25 AM | yes, been there but he couldnt accept that he had a disablitity....that made the relationship unworkable....
If a person can deal with his disablity fine, but he has to accept who he is before he can accept someone else accepting him... | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/7/2007 9:07:30 AM | ok I myself have a disability and it's not to difficult to find someone to date. There are men out there who are accepting. and what is this that you won't date someone with kids. It basically is saying the samething you are questioning, "why won't someone date a person with a disability?" I choose to have kids and why should someone hold that agaisnt me? Doesn't change who I am in the least bit, just like having a disability doesn't change a person( at least their personality) and you should like/love someone for who they are not what they have or don't have.
Jen | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/24/2007 6:49:13 PM | well i woldnt actively seek out a disabled person to date , i mean cmon , activities in life require motor skills .
i spose if i knew the person for ages n we got on fine n she was good in the chair n all that was good then maybe
what do u mean by disabled /.? | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/24/2007 9:49:59 PM | Yes, I would. But it would be more likely that I would meet them in a different way than online. I'm still not certain that online is a good way for me to meet people in general, but of course, I'm still here. 
Anyway, you state that single mothers tend not to care about your disability, but that you are the sort of person who if there are children, you want them to be yours. Then you state that you wish you weren't, but you are. Doesn't that sound a bit discriminatory to you? I mean, you might be screening out someone who is so perfect for you that after a time the issue of who fathered the child might be completely irrelevant (have you seen WHERE THE HEART IS?)--and perhaps there is still the hope of having biological children of your own--but you are systematically screening out people in that category, which you acknowledge is the one where you seem to find the most accepting women. This would seem that you're guilty of that which you, yourself, are protesting. And hurting/limiting yourself in the process.
I haven't the foggiest idea of whether I'm attracted to a man until I meet and spend time with him in person, and I think this is true of the vast majority of people on here, especially women. The sum parts of a person are so much more than their abilities or lack of. I have loved before... and if that man who I adored developed a disability like yours it would matter not a bit to me, I would stay with him and continue to love him. If he had the disability first, would I have fallen for him? Who knows? Who knows how it would have affected the person he became?
Anyway, I wish you the best with your life and your search. We are all worthy of love, and live a constant existence in the heart of true love, whether it feels so or not. I take great comfort in that.  | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:28:51 AM | maybe so sing but would u actively seek out a paraplegic or someone with a disability that made them completely dependant upon u for their life??
the idea of good n bad in everyone is a nice idea , but if u believe honesty is the best possibility and an even slightly honorable concern i think that someone who can admit to their aversions or discriminatory concepts would b more admirable than someone hiding behind social morality and seeming to b ok with whatever lifestyles or disablilities are out there
we have to acknowledge that even tho life exists there are limitations to that life and we have to b honest with ourelves as to what we are prepared to accept from the outset of the friendship
life in reality does have boundaries and limitations , disabilities come in all shapes and sizes , maybe they should put that on the profiles as to what disabilities in a partner we are willing to accept , violence , alcoholism, wheelchair, cane, viagra etc etc
i know some ppl that have them issues , and some that cant een get in a wheelchair, they are ok as ppl and friends no better and no worse than ppl without the same disability , but to b honest if the cards came down i think everyone out there would chose someone without the disability over someone with the disability
just some are to prudish to admit it | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/25/2007 12:45:19 AM |
Some people adjust well to their disability. Some don't.
I've know both types. The latter you don't want to be around. But those that do adjust well and figure out how to make the most of what they have are wonderful people (ok, my sample size isn't huge but it's 100% of what I have!). I see no problem with dating or just being friends with any of them. (Well, as long as they are into anime (snicker)) | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 3/25/2007 3:11:57 AM | | I have something to add to this i'm 25 yrs old i've been in a wheelchair my whole life but thats never stopped me yeah i've had girls scared off by this before I know i'm in a chair but that does not change what or who I am inside | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:10:30 AM | I would suppose that depends a great deal on whom has the disability, the man or the woman. Women usually want to feel protected, not like they are someone's mother.
But as for myself I wouldn't mind dating a woman who is disabled, it just depends on the disability. I even have a slight fetish for deaf women just because I kind of like the accent when they speak. But I would never actively seek out women with a disability.
I would probably have the most trouble dating a blind woman; just because I'm a little vain and would want her to be physically attracted to me. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/1/2007 4:08:04 AM | I see said the blind man to the deaf man that couldn't hear!
<div class="quote">I would probably have the most trouble dating a blind woman; just because I'm a little vain and would want her to be physically attracted to me.
How would a blind woman NOT be physically attracted to you? Just because she can't SEE you, doesn't mean she wouldn't be physically attracted to you Right?
I'd date a blind woman and not think twice about it. She sees things differently than others do. She may not be able to see a person with her eyes, but she still sees them with her heart.
At least with a blind woman, she doesn't judge a book by it's cover and jump to judgement on looks alone. To be able to shut out how rude, inconsiderate, mean, and down right ugly people can be towards one another is a GIFT.
She will be able to see how nice a person is with the conversations they have and with the tone of their voice, not because they appear to be nice, but she can see it without seeing!
When I was a dispatcher, some of the guys would laugh and joke about the one cab driver because he was a bit slow. I'd tell them I'll take 8 of him to work with than all of you guys. I knew with him I had no worries about what he was doing, I knew he was doing the job the best he can, he could be trusted, and he was there to work when he was asked to be, and he never said a bad thing about ANYBODY.
You bet I'd date a disabled person and not have a 2nd thought about it! | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/1/2007 11:54:43 AM | There are many types of disabilities, phyisical, mental, or both, I personally would date someone with a disablity. Remember just because someone has a disablity dose not make them weird or and less of a person, in fact it makes them special and unique. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/1/2007 12:55:26 PM | All I can say is I really hope so. My sister is disabled with Osteoparosis in her legs. She is a beautiful girl with a beautiful body, but her poor legs have been through 17 plus surgeries ( she has another one lined up this summer). She is too self conscious to wear anything but slacks and she is starting to get an attitude of trying to feel superior to others, when I know it's camoflage for hiding her self consciousness.
She's going to need a very understanding and veeerryy patient guy.
BTW, it's funny that you say Asian women are more apt to date a guy with disabilities. The ones I have known are not at all like that. They were traditional in the sense that they believed in survival of the fittest. In their countries people with disabilities or born with deformaties were still kept away from the rest of the world...maybe they only accept it with American men... | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/1/2007 4:27:42 PM | Kim
It takes a special person to properly care for a disabled person. Patients is very important. Alot of people (not all) feel very self consciouse of their disablity.There are so many stereotypical people that automaticly judge the moment they find out your disabled. Sad but true in alot of cases(not all cases though). I wish you and your sister all the best in the future. I have taken care of someone who was disabled it was hard but neccessary to make me realise how special people are. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 5/1/2007 6:19:53 PM | Yes, if I liked the person I would. Anyone can become disabled at any time. Would these people who would not date someone who was disabled leave thier S/O if for somer eason the S/O became disabled?? if so why would you (or anyone) want to date them???
Wren | |
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