| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:04:12 PM | This is an easy one for me. My older brother has a mental problem. I have watched him with his problem for about 40 years. He only had one date in his life. (In High School). I have a yourger male cousin that was blind. He didn't know he was blind... I think the memo came out while he was still to young to read... LOL He could play guitar and piano. Both well. He couldn't sing for beans so we always had to hide the mic. LOL He was an Ambassador for the US American Blind Program to Swedan when he was only 20. He had more dates in High School than anyone. I know because I drove him a lot. Sorry to say we lost him when he was only 22. I have a niece in a chair. She has married and has 2 girls. She never parks in the "special" places. She says she can get to the door so she leaves the "special" parking the people that "need" it. I had a College Prof. with no arms. He was the biggest party dog on campus. His wife would take his arms away when he drank to much so he could not drive to town. He was also a good water skier. (when sober) LOL I have a good friend (from High School) that was burned over 80% of his body in Viet Nam. He has a beautiful wife and 4 great kids, (all grown). My football coach from High School had a "Downs" son. Coaches boy and my son became friends when my son was about 4 and coaches son was about 10. I have never known 2 boys that were better friends. I have dated a woman in a chair. She was the best dance partner I have ever had. Any slow song I would pick her up and take her to the dance floor. She was more romantic on the dance floor than any other woman I have ever danced with. I might add I was a C&W dance teacher for 5 years. I have been riding Harleys for about 40 years. The best rider I have ever had was a blind woman I dated. Granted she had to learn how to get on by feel. But she was the best rider. She never looked around and pointed to things for me to see. She did not twist and shift in her seat.
I guess I don't need to answer, "Would I Date". I have dated. As well as I have been around this most of my life. One funny thought comes to mind. Once long ago when visiting my blind cousin. I was staying in my cousins room with him. As I remember he was about 9 or 10. I was about 13. My Aunt came into the room to tell us it was "lights out" time. My cousin was reading a book. My Aunt turned off the light. My cousin started laughing... I ask what was so funny. His statement has stayed with me these many years. "MOM THINKS I NEED THAT LIGHT TO READ"
"DISABLED" WHO!!!!!!!! Not the prople I know!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:38:07 PM | | I dated a lady in a wheelchair(I'm a TAB, temp.able body like all able bods) and I was really liking her. She had MD but was very cute(even though 7 years older) and she had the best kisses I ever got(she got limp like a rag doll & her lips were soooo soft). The only prob was that if we had kids they would inherit the MD. She also seemed to get a bit clingy & started to show anger mgmt trouble when I wanted to break it off. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:48:18 PM | I have a disability to, My left arm was amputated 1 inch above my elbow and if Women can't except me at my worst then surely they are NOT worthy of me at my best. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/24/2008 2:05:19 PM | | I am a woman with a disability, but not gonna say what it is because it doesn't matter, and I say F$*^ you if you don't, because many people with disabilities can still rock your world, in more ways than one, and they are much more imaginative and creative in doing so. | |
|
| |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:47:50 PM | YES I WOULD AND I MARRIED HIM.. HE HAD A BAD HEART AND ONE LEG
BUT HE DIED 3 YRS AGO WITH A HEARTATTACK .. WE WERE TOGETHER
FOR 9YRS KITTEN417 BES YRS OF MY LIFE | |
|
| |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 6/29/2008 3:14:25 PM | Finally a site I can relate to. Why do people go the other way as soon as they hear
you are disabled? For women, I sometimes think it is because a guy thinks that all
you want them for is a free financial ride. My husband took off with another woman
after 13 years (he was sole supporter for the last 7 because of my car accident) I am
not in a wheel chair, I only use a cane for long distance walking and yes I do have
pain but I deal with it. I don't really consider myself disabled although I technically
am as I can no longer work. (too many details ) I still am able to love ,have sex, and
I miss being in a relationship. Being disabled does not take away ones drives,morals,
and ability to relate. (I guess that would depend on the disability) If one was whole
and it was taken from them,it is not their fault. I just know that mentally I am the
same although the attitudes of people can really hurt. Why does being disabled all
of the sudden put a great big neon sign on us that says"run away as fast as you can,
hear comes a leech". There are alot of shallow people out there,my theory is that
everyone at some point in their lives need to take stock of their values and think ...
how would I feel if I were treated the way they have been? The whole scene SUCKS....
BUT I can live without being treated this way.....I am not into self pity,in fact I feel sorry for the people out there who treat the disabled this way. We are human with
human feelings. I enjoy being with people.....period. I do not need to be corralled into a set where only disabled people live,eat,and socialize. There are people out there who genuinely care about us and not with pity..... These are the type of people I want to associate with. If dating means dating only someone who is disabled....if he has the right mind set, is a terrific guy,is loving and affectionate,and into family......you betcha. These other people are negative who only exist to suck the life and pleasure out of a soul and that makes me sad (and I am not talking about other disabled people) As far as the whiners who are into the self pity, maybe other people should look at what disabled them. It is grieving for the loss of normalcy,and it is normal. It is like grieving for the loss of a friend or family member......so maybe instead of being negative and putting them down for it you should try to understand and be a little more empathetic......after all it could happen to you. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:18:03 PM | Yes, I would date someone that is disabled, as I am disabled myself. I was diagnosed with Lupus years ago and it has affected my joints more than any other way. I do have some tissue damage inside my body but that dosn't bother me nearly as bad as my joint problems. Until recent years, most people didn't know that I have it because I refused to giv in to it. I have worked as a nurse for years and most of that time in a lot of pain. Like you, it is invisable, except when I have flare ups on my skin. About 5 years ago, it started becoming unbearable and I started trying to find another line of work. After some joint replacements, my kids were begging me to retire and I caved in to them and did. I thought that retirement would drive me nuts but I have really felt better without the added stress.
I have dated quiet a bite throughout the years and it hasn't really been a problem. I will admit that when it comes to sex, the joints really give a lot of trouble. I do know what it is like to walk with a walker at a younger age and I still use a cane when I am walking outside on uneven terrain. I feel like a very old lady at times but am just so glad to be walking at all and I feel blessed to have been able to function so well for so long since I was diagnosed in 1973. Try to look on the good side. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 7/27/2008 6:30:42 PM | | I have and would, not to say you go out and look for it. It also depends what it is, and if that person can meet certain things you are looking for in a partner. You say that you aren't looking to date a single mom, which is fine... so others have their wants, needs, desires too. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 7/27/2008 9:04:01 PM | | It is important for me to say that it is also OK not to reveal a "disability" to someone upon meeting them for the first time. You may not have a connection and why tell a stranger something so personal. (This obviously only applies to people who do not have an immediately visable challenge.) I think you should tell someone that you are starting to feel close to and want to establish a relationship with, quickly upon that conclusion. It is only fair to disclose this and let the other person bow out gracefully. Individuals with any self esteem will understand that it is the other persons "problem", not theirs. Everyone should be respected for knowing their own limits. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 7/27/2008 9:42:08 PM | | I see fibromyalgia as more of an illness than a disability, although I can see why some would consider it a disability. Either way, I think the only disabilities I would shy away from are TBI or stroke, as once your brain is damaged you're not really you anymore and it would entail too much caregiving. I don't think the relationship would be equal at all. Other than that, I would have no problem dating someone with a disability. | |
|
jzzy
|
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 164 | |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 7/28/2008 5:29:22 AM | | I have dated men that were disabled. It didn't bother me at all. I broke up with them for different reasons... none that were related to their disability. I look for the positive in people. I try very hard to believe that most of us have something to give to the world. "when life gives you lemons"? | |
|
| |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:25:42 AM | Someone mentioned this:
Those who have become disabled later in life tend to carry a 'chip' on their shoulder!
 you can count ME out of that generalization! | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/4/2008 11:14:55 AM | Yes I would (and have).
According to many, I'm disabled myself since I have been battling or "managing" (most of the time successfully and without drugs) depression all my life.
The only difference is that my "disability" is not readily visible, but it's very much a part of me.
And although I don't put my disability (gawwd how I hate that word) front and center on my profile, it's there between the lines and I always make sure I mention it on the first or second email.
My "disability" isn't for everyone and I don't judge or look down on those who know and recognise it's not for them.
In fact, I have a lot of respect for people who know what they can and cannot handle. In my eyes, it shows me that they are "aware" of their own limitations, like we should all be in my opinion.
I mean..there are certain "disabilities" that I might not be capable of handling due to my own limitations. So I can only hope that I would recognise this early and be completely honest with the person if and when this situation ever presented itself.
Anyway...to each their own and all that jazz and the best of luck to each and every one of us...able...disable and every one in between:)
JMO | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/4/2008 11:39:52 AM | this is a common thing now days and I am sure it has its ups and downs like every other disability .. I have Lupus ... the problem with your disability and mine is they have no idea what causes it and therefore there is no cure... I choose not to use the steroid meds that are suppose to keep this in check... sometimes the cure is worse than dealing with the disability ... some days are much worse than others but I have learned to deal with all the things that go along with lupus,,, you sound like a very brave man, putting it out there is always a risk of rejection... im not quit that honest, to look at me you would never know, so I tend not to put it out there ... doesn't make me a dishonest person, it just saves alot of disappointment ... keep your chin up and smile ... and to answer your question, yes I would date someone who is disabled ... the worse thing is the people that won't are mentally disabled ... and to me that is something I would not want to deal with a mental defective is the worse kind of disablity ......... | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/4/2008 11:58:00 AM | Hello,
No doubt I would. I am looking for the caring compassionate person and as long as it is not something to do with a mental disability . If I was living with some one who would have an accident I would not turn my back on, so what is wrong with a certain disability. I just hope that the person would have some sense of humour inspite of all the heath problem that is present. But I think some people would never beleive that I feel for such people and would like to be a source of joy to someone in tough and challenging times in life as long as that someone can put a smile on my face too. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/7/2008 8:34:54 AM | | My sister married a man while in college that was one of the last victims of polio. He had a very shortened leg and wore a brace. They divorced many years ago and I resent how he treated my sister and neice but will have to give him credit for working hard. He is a RN and has worked as such for nearly 40 years. It had to have been very difficult for him at times to be in that profession. We became so accustomed to him that we would forget about his problem. My neice's husband was telling me the other day about the day that he met his father in law. It was several months after they had married and he had only seen pictures of him with a face shot or in a group when he was standing straight. No one had told him anything about his condition and he walked ing with an extremely pronounced limp, as he always does. He pulled my neice aside and asked her "What the he!! is wrong with your dad's legs?!!" She responded, "oh, did I forget to tell you about that?" We had just become so accustomed to him that it was never brought up. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/16/2008 1:00:02 PM | i was dating a man who had broken both his legs when he was younger
and it dint matter to me because of the way i felt for him i dint see his dissabilitys
but! what i dint see was what was in his mind
this guy ment so much to me but he was so jealouse
he accused me of all sorts i was always here for him but he was never there for me
do i need to say more ? | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/16/2008 6:22:45 PM | | I would, a man at work in a wheel chair who delivers our mail is a young man, we bumped eye to eye I felt love and compassion to him, too bad he is not an older man ,yes I will date him even marry him. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/26/2008 3:39:09 AM | Yes, I would.
I have had enough life expereince that I now realize that superficial things REALLY DON'T MATTER. I fall in love with the Soul. The rest of it just so much doesn't matter to me!
The fact is that I am "disabled" as well--also with fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction Syndrome. It might be nice to date someone with illnesses like mine--people without them don't usually have a clue what my life is really like!
I am a much richer, more mature, complex, and seasoned person for having to deal with serious chronic illness, and the loss of my career, and most of how I defined myself previous to this illness. I know that my spiritual life has blossomed in ways that I couldn't have imagined previously. I have had to look really deeply at who and what I am, and what my life is really about.
If someone is shallow enough that they will let "disability" determine whether or not they would date me--then God's truth is that I do not want to date them! I want someone who loves and appreciates MY Soul--and all of the other wonderful things that I am. I am looking for my Soul's mate--and I don't really care what size, shape, color, ability-rating, hair-color, eye-color, sex , gender, etc. that person comes in. If my most important criteria is met, what does any of the rest of it matter? | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/26/2008 11:35:36 AM | Disabilities are in the eye of the beholder. I have dated women with (physical) disabilities and would do so again. It isn't the physical disability that defines the person, but their reaction to it.
The disabilities I try to avoid are more insidious. Inability to form a lasting relationship, inability to experience empathy, pathological lying, inability to communicate, confusing past relationships with the present one: these are disabilities I find much more difficult to deal with. And in the forming phases of a relationship, they can also be harder to spot.
Bodies wear out, they get sick, they break. It happens to all of us. If you reject someone for that, you shouldn't be surprised if (and when) it happens to you.
Personally, I am MUCH more interested in who is inhabiting that body. That's the person I want to know. | |
|
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 8/26/2008 11:58:19 AM | I met a lady on here that had a quite interesting story and yes I dated her she was no different than anybody else I really liked her a lot until I seen her with someone else that she told me about from the beginning. I just want to be someones one and only if you really like someone there will be no one else but I do believe cheating is in the blood once a cheater always a cheater.
:)
| |
|
Home
login 
