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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:02:49 AM | | I think the biggest problem with dating someone with any type of disability is how they view themself, and how they want other people to view them. All too often, it seems that they see themselves as 'broken' and seem to be pissed off at the world for not treating them the way they want to be treated. The others are the ones who don't give a damn, and go on with life enjoying what they can. I have arthritis; some days, I can barely walk, and it feels like I have hot knives sticking into my joints. But you know what brings me back to reality? There are millions of people out there with no legs, that would just LOVE to have my lousy legs. Sure, I can't play basketball anymore. I can't run down the street without severe pain. But I can do 99% of what anyone else can do, and so can many people who are considered 'disabled'. Disability is in the mind of the disabled; sure, it may be a lot harder to do some things that come easy to 'normal' people; but the disabled people I admire most are the ones that find ways to overcome the obstacles in their way, no matter how hard it is. So the answer is yes, I'd date someone who is disabled; the disability isn't the obstacle; like many other things, the obstacle could be the personality that goes with the person. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/2/2008 11:17:24 AM | | Stellar, if you had ben treated like you were broken for most of your life, wouldn't it affect your self image just a little bit? Some things are "all in your mind." Some are not. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/4/2008 2:57:06 PM | Two years ago, I was in Walmart, there was a woman in a wheelchair who was in need to get something from a top shelf. She was looking around for some help and I sprang to it, cause it seemed like fun. It wasn't just something that she couldn't get due to lack of height. It was something that I needed to crawl up to get :-)
Eventually I said to her that I'd help her shop, cause it made me feel tall when I'm not the tallest guy in the world. It was a great feeling to be needed. Plus she was really attractive and that helped.
She was paralyzed from the waist down due to a derby horse rolling over her and severing her spinal cord.
We approached dating together afterward, but in the end she was the one that rejected me to be on her own and be "independent." | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/5/2008 4:07:31 PM | Date a disabled person?
I married a disabled person.
Most people don't realize that there almost like real people.... But different...
It's a rather silly question, riding on the edge of attention seeking really.
If people didn't date and marry disabled people how would we ever have disabled children.. Hello..
Don't get all pi$$y with me it's a joke.
Make some snappy comments and
I will embarrass you by pointing
out that I have a disabled daughter!
That's what I thought! | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:27:53 PM | | Violet, I do get treated like I'm 'broken', once women know that I was sexually abused for most of my school years. I do carry some of the after effects of that, and sex isn't easy for me. Neither is knowing that >99% of women don't want anything to do with me. And yes, I too get tired of being told that they're not interested. But I still try. | |
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D48763
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Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 182 | |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/7/2008 6:05:28 PM | I dated a woman who was blind from birth,,,she was the greatest discovery of my life,,she tought me to be able to discribe etc,,,the beauty of a sunrise,in words of how it effects a human mind,,,she helped me discover how to appreaciate what is always around me,,she gave ME a gift from a blind lady to a man who now can see as if I had been blind,,,
Take a moment,as someone to discribe something( anything) to a friend,wife,just a whatever,,,its very hard to explain what a color does,appears,how it blends,,or how your heart,,mind feel about what you see as a sunrises,,,,yet when you do,,,you will discover a sight that you never felt before in your life,,,
I would rec any disabled dating to anyone,,,for they are the real macho's,,,the real ms world,,,for the courage,the insight,so much more that many full and able people take for granted,,,NOT me,,,
Why am I here,,,she and I dated more than a few years ago,,she passed on in a car acc,,,yet her gift to me,priceless,,,D | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:20:21 AM |
Violet, I do get treated like I'm 'broken', once women know that I was sexually abused for most of my school years.
"Once they know" being key. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:46:35 AM | i don't really consider myself disabilied, i do have a slight hearing loss NOT deaf ok get that straight!!! my voice is a little uncomfortable to some people, thats only because of my hearing loss!! i look like normal able-body person, but as soon as some people hear my voice i find the same problem as other disabilied people!! how you should go with your own kind, you don't really belong here, can i help you with something as if i'm lost!!!  | |
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ils99
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Joined: 5/30/2008
Msg: 185 | |
| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:45:19 AM | | Well, considering I was rejected by a wheel chair bound guy BEFORE I could even ask, I guess I have no experience and can't say. From then onwards, I stopped bothering trying to meet ALL kinds of guys. Isn't that rather ironic? Me, a "non-disabled" person (no offence intended- can't think of better words to describe it!) being rejected by one who was wheel-chair bound (can't remember name of condition). I would've thought it may have been the other way round...but never mind. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:56:53 AM | I think it depends on the disability.
being disabled myself i know the ups and downs, but im only a level 1 disablee, not wheelchair bound. although i might add im fiercly independant like most disabled people are.
I think you have to take into account if they need care 24/7, other than that most disabled people do not have problems forming relationships.
But i have encountered problems with the opposite sex, ( in the real world and online) when they find out you got a disability they either stop talking to you, or one guy turned his back on me and started talking to someone else.
nice man -NOT | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:18:08 PM | I got an e-mail today asking me if I felt like it was my fault that my daughter was born disabled.. She wanted to know if I thought it might be a curse or some kind of omen!
That's how ignorant some people can be! She would be way to confused if I told her what a blessing I thought it was!
Rock! | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:37:14 PM | | I have dated someone disabled. I have Cerebral Palsy. It just means I have a slight limp and a loss of hearing in one ear. I've never really had a problem dating. If a man ever had issues with my having CP it was his problem not mine. I was made this way for a reason. I'm happy with who I am. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:59:30 PM | When I was 20 I fell in love with a PhD student who was paraplegic. He was one of the last to contract polio before it was preventable. He was very confident and lived a pretty normal life. It really wasn't an issue. I admired him for what he had overcome in his life. We had a wonderful relationship for a year until I moved away to start graduate school. I could have had my pick of any guy, but he was very special to me.
With something like fibromyalgia, I would hesitate. As a massage therapist, I have worked with fibromyalgic patients and found them to be very resistant to change, even though different types of body work are very effective for the condition. All of the people I met with this condition have also suffered from depression and chronic headaches. This might be hard to live with. However, if they're willing to stick out a course of treatment, I've heard the condition can be overcome. I also know people who have overcome chronic fatigue. So it's hard for me to put those in the same category as paralysis or epilepsy, for instance. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:23:13 PM | no i'm not ignorant, just thought you might regret having your daughter, maybe not but hey if i knew my child would be disablied then i'd have an abortion!! i just rather not be someone who stands out cuz of the kid!! | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:53:46 PM | | to me a disabled female or not disabled are just the same to me just get on with your life dont you i am disabled and god knows how many girls i have been with but the way i see it they dont want to spend the rest of there lives looking after someone disabled not cause they dont like that person cause it isn't that they would find it hard to look after them and think it is gonna be a tricky re;ationship i dont know wot to do you know what i mean just there way of seein things. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:56:19 PM | | My best friend has no hands and a lot of guys would like her but never date her but she met a great guy who did not care then have been together for 8 years she had twin boys 4 years ago who are healthy active boys so there are people out there that would i would have no problem with at all | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/8/2008 11:20:05 PM | Disabilities I probably would date him if we connect very well, as long as they can take care of themselves efficiently and independently than I am down with it. 
Things happen, and people tend to be judgmental and selfish most of the time. Wish you the best of luck | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/9/2008 2:43:18 PM |
Things happen, and people tend to be judgmental and selfish most of the time.
No kidding. The older I get, the more life is like grade school. A guy's feiends will still pick on him for hanging out with the "crippled chick." | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/9/2008 7:35:01 PM | The older I get, the more life is like grade school.
Amen sister.
My sister lost her eye to retinablastoma at the age of two.
She had more dates then I ever had and she is now with husband #2.
Yes - she is a beautiful woman inside and out and yes she was looked
down upon and made fun of all her childhood. I spent most of my childhood
defending my sister because she had a glass eye- like it was a crime.
Some people in this world need a reality check but I truly believe that
we are sent things because we are strong- people who reject and make fun
of people with disabilities are weak people.
I never saw her as disabled, ever. I just realized reading this thread after
46 years that I guess she is. I never saw it. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/10/2008 8:50:28 AM | nzchick120 have you never rejected a guy just because they weren't your type? I know I have and yes I am a wheelchair user but I'm not about to date just anyone just because they are willing to date me. I am just as fussy now as I was when my legs worked!
Most wheelchair users still have thier brains intact and finding someone you click with is just as difficult as for anyone. I am not about to be grateful just cos a man is willing to date me!
Yes there are some added difficulties to dating - most of which come down to the attitude of the general public.
Take care and all you 'walking' peeps do try to keep up
Carol | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/10/2008 9:05:11 AM | Face it.... In some ways we all have diabilities whether we want to admit to it, or know about it.... Just some are more disabled than others.....
I for one was in a realy bad auto accident, and have some major organs gone, and was paralized for awhile. I now have a disability in my back and neck because of it. But to look at me, you would never know it. And yes I have my bad days along with the good, but I am still disabled.
To me it doesn't matter what the disability or how they got it. We all have a person inside that body we're given, and that should be what matters most.....
And I figure it this way... If people have to look and stare and be rude.. one day, what went around may come around... And then lets see what happens....  | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/15/2008 8:47:26 PM | | I really think it's about the connection you have with somebody. If they are not making a big deal about their disability, then it is just one fact of their life. Just like having snakes is a fact of my life. I think it's when a person is ashamed or lacking in confidence because of a disability, it sticks out like a sore thumb. We all need to make the best of what we have. I would prefer not to be 47, given the way aging women are looked upon in our society. But I just suck it up and deal with it :) and be the best me I can! | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:36:56 PM | | I did date a man in a wheelchair. Trust me, the only thing he couldnt do was walk without help. He had a job, a car etc. and was not lacking in any other way. ;)Hmmm....maybe have to give him a call and see hows hes doing. | |
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| Would you date someone who is disabled?
Posted: 9/15/2008 11:34:10 PM | | I would if that person was attractive to me. I myself have a neurological impairment which affects my motor skills and my sense of direction- I always get lost. | |
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