| | It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes alongPage 4 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | | ^^^^I think that there can be lots of moments but that awareness of them can be more infrequent. As for that soul mate idea of 'the one', it's not really consistent with my thinking now. I think if people find 2 or 3 great loves in their life, that's great. The CBC had a program mentioning a bit on this yesterday; that we aren't necessarily conditioned to mate with one person forever. I've started in the last few years to roll this notion about this around in my head....and it doesn't seem as 'out there' as it once had. Btw, this does not to me anyway equate with idea of treating people as disposables...or looking for the newest out there; moreover it's a notion that one can conceivably outgrow a long-term partner and relationship and that this occurrence is a natural thing. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 7/13/2010 12:41:30 PM | | The zap is not reality. It's just like these bachelor shows on tv. They take these people, put them in beautiful, romantic places, feed and clothe them with the very best and then wonder why none of them last when they are back to reality. Duh!!! Cause it's not real. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 7/16/2010 6:14:49 PM | | This has never happened to me and I can assure you that it never will. When I am in a relationship, I don't even think about members of the opposite sex "that way". If I am, it is time to reconsider my level of satisfaction with the one I'm with. I would be disrespecting my core values to even "go there". | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/18/2010 5:35:29 AM |
The zap is not reality. It's just like these bachelor shows on tv. They take these people, put them in beautiful, romantic places, feed and clothe them with the very best and then wonder why none of them last when they are back to reality. Duh!!! Cause it's not real.
I agree..
You met and someone gets your front lump really hard and you wonder about what you lost for years?
OMG..You missed a couple of one nighters .
Wake up..Helloooooooooooooo
You were deprived of Spring break to many years..
Bikinis, sun, surf,Sangria and the smell of coconut suntan lotion..
You are in a relationship and can be that easily distracted ..something is WRONG. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/18/2010 7:47:49 AM |
You are in a relationship and can be that easily distracted ..something is WRONG.
No kidding..fully agree Pepper
I don't understand, I simply don't get it..guess it's me..dunno..(walking away shaking head..wondering what people's impression is of "relationship"..it's NOT just sex..sigh) | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/18/2010 8:46:33 AM | A. the OP ... has left PoF ... probably about a year ago or more.
[I just love revived ... dead threads where everyone talks at an OP that is gone]
B. the pheremone reaction to someone you just meet is a normal human lightning strike between the sexes .... and has nothing to do with prior attachments.
Acting on it ... does.
.......................................................... fantasy is fun ... but don't dwell.
it leads to 
c. for the momentary aspect of life ... I have to agree with idea that any one moment has the potential of being a life altering moment. Just in the majority of cases its just another mundane moment of life maintenance or a passing ship with some "flash in the pan" aspect we may have noticed.
d. the one that got away ... to me is not some one night lightning strike.
....... the couple I am haunted by were friends for quite some time but the timing of our relationships coming and going just didn't let us try being together for so long that now it just looks like a childhood crush. [too late to have babies together]
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/18/2010 12:55:32 PM |
I just love revived ... dead threads where everyone talks at an OP that is gone
We know.
Do you know we can see up your nose in your thumbnail?
I had one once that just showed an eyeball..
It is a habit to refer to the op, but the thread was searched and a valid topic.
See how much you contributed?
...... fantasy is fun ... but don't dwell. 'I especially like this. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/18/2010 12:58:25 PM | Everyone's the star of their own romantic comedy.
"In a relationship that is just 'ok' Suzy meets Brad at Starbucks one day... Her life changes and she discovers the true meaning of 'love' and 'chemistry' while along the way discovering within herself what happiness really is. In theatres Friday..." | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/19/2010 12:53:32 PM | Oh somebody call the WWAAAAAAAMBULANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!
It seems well over 50 percent of men online looking to hook up are in a current relationship with a spouse or girlfriend, and even have children with those people. I'm tired of hearing guys crying about the choices they've made as if they are an unwilling participant but continue to stay in the current relationship while they search for something on the side.
....and then to start a thread about some cuck and bull story about 2 ships passing in the night............. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/19/2010 1:26:35 PM | why be hooked up waaaa.
thats the problem with these infernal and nice decent people they cannot wait 2nd or 107 best will do until something better (hotter) comes along.
And the key with these odd creatures is to apportion blame on everyone else rather than themselves
Imo, poster above me, this applies to the opposite sex equally so
and why are they still looking or in a position to say that I muses | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/20/2010 11:59:04 AM |
Do you know we can see up your nose in your thumbnail?
if you count the nose hairs and divide by the dust mites you can figure out the tangent of my thought pattern which will allow you to calculate the level of sarcasm in my posts. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/20/2010 11:39:55 PM | How can a person tell if they are the right one for them on such a short time together? Isn't that frame of mind, what gets people into trouble or being with the wrong one? I can imagine when you first met the ones you ended up with, you might have felt they were the right ones in the beginning and had that connection with. Or did you just get with them to have someone? Surely thats not the foundation for lasting.
Don't get me wrong, early in life many believe love is all it takes or do get someone, just to have someone. But they best way to have a better chance at lasting , is to know yourself well, then find someone who compliments that and vice versa. Even then there has to be real love and both have to work at keeping it alive. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/20/2010 11:49:17 PM | | Ahhh that instant rush of electricity when you meet a new person with whom you think you have that instant chemistry with . She is many things you are at the time finding lacking in the one you are with and that makes the urge to be with her and temporarily forget the one who has been with you for so long even stronger. Take a step back and think for awhile before doing something rash don't jump in with both feet before you've had a chance to size up the situation. Sounds to me like the typical scenario for an affair but this is often not the one. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/23/2010 12:59:45 AM |
It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
This happens because you settled for someone; probably out of fear of being alone. The right one should be right there….beside you and this thought could not occur.
I just love revived ... dead threads where everyone talks at an OP that is gone
I hate old threads, wish they would not permit “revivals” of threads more than a few months old. No body reads the first few years (or months) of it anyway.
Do you know we can see up your nose in your thumbnail?
Now that is contributing! | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/24/2010 2:59:04 AM | | Do we ever know if someone is the right one until we have gotten to know them. Sure we can deterimine quickly if we have strong chemistry with a person but there is far more to a long term relationship than that. For someone to be the one would imply the whole package for me. I suppose it depends on whether you are the type of person that love hits you like a ton of bricks or on the other end of the spectrum is something that grows with time and nurturing. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/24/2010 5:44:43 AM | "Oh somebody call the WWAAAAAAAMBULANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!
It seems well over 50 percent of men online looking to hook up are in a current relationship with a spouse or girlfriend, and even have children with those people. I'm tired of hearing guys crying about the choices they've made as if they are an unwilling participant but continue to stay in the current relationship while they search for something on the side.
....and then to start a thread about some cuck and bull story about 2 ships passing in the night"
LOL. And the other 50 percent of us guys, who have not been married or have children or are not currently in a relationship, who have our own property and great career find it puzzling that it really seems that women only go after the guys that are in these types of relationships, versus us single guys.. Now I am not trying to sound like a "good guy" because I am not a good guy, I am a GREAT Guy! And I agree with the other posters who have mentioned this thread being about the grass is greener on the other side. IF you have any doubts to begin with why on earth would you get into a relationship with that person, and don't whine about well he tricked me or whatever, because I am sure someone probably told you to be cautious or well we could of told you that was going to happen, but you did not bother to ask us. I have friends that have gotten into relationships like this, and I have gotten calls back saying, you know, you where right about her or him. If you are lonely get a dog, they at least will always be happy to see you when you come home.  | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/24/2010 1:08:56 PM | | It's a fantasy. In the real world people have flaws. In a fantasy everything is perfect, you are in control of the storyline. You are building the person up in your mind as being sheer perfection. No real person can measure up against that. | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 8/24/2010 8:02:42 PM |
It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
I've never been put myself in that position to not appreciate the person i was with at the time.. matter of fact, it's been the opposite where i see any oncoming potential competition as "sorry, but you snoozed.. therefore you lose"
IMO the `right`one has yet to come anyway.
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 9/2/2010 10:32:14 AM | Ok interesting deal here.
I recently had a one year relationship with a man i was totally in love with. We planned on marrying and all that until one day he text ed me and said i think we should be friends, We did share a ZAP type feeling for a long time and at first i was really hurt, we are good friends now and we care about each other but we both know that we will never be together again. Now 9 months later i have come across a very good friend who i was in love with years ago. we talk daily and agree that if either of us (he felt the same way about me at that time) had spoke up our lives would be very different. He is married been married for over 10 years now and finally expecting a baby with her she and i are very good friends as well and i am very happy for them both but privately he has told me he does still love me very deeply and i have told him i feel the same. However neither of us are going to do anything about it because #1 he does love his wife and #2 I will not be that woman who puts and end to that marriage. Now if in the future things change for some reason that has absolutely nothing to do with me maybe we will pursue more, however nit until he has taken the time to morn the loss of that life he had with her. So to the OP i say this, that ZAP you feel yes it is real it is intense and it feels like you should have moved on with it, however, the thing you have to remember is it will eventually be gone as fast as it came may take years but one day you will wake up and realize she is not hte one for you in the future.  | |
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 9/2/2010 10:57:59 AM | I think the only reason why the right one might come along
is because you're with the wrong one.
Not sure why people stay with the wrong people and then bemoan
that fact. Maybe it's a comfort level, I don't know.
I do know it's impossible (at least for me) to imagine the "right"
person coming along after I'm in a relationship I'm passionate
about.
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| It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along
Posted: 9/3/2010 9:01:24 PM |
Have you ever met someone and had that instant attraction with them, but due to your circumstances could do nothing about it?.
It's happened once or twice, yes.
Or maybe you did something about it.
Nope.
That type of person is always "going to have an advantage", being new and not in your life all day long, as Package was implying. That's something about people I've never understood, how they fall for that type of situation, especially ones with really good "significant others" .
To me, there's always going to be someone " better" than the person you are with. That goes for you, too. 
You can flit from flower to flower forever, or you can just appreciate the one you are currently with, and live your life discovering them, and growing with them. | |
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