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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Do men really like submissive women?      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: Do men really like submissive women?
 Seaside2009

Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 51
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Posted: 3/3/2008 8:13:56 AM
It sounds like your talking about a take charge, confident, type A guy....there are alot of us
 PleasurePirate

Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 52
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Posted: 3/3/2008 8:16:42 AM
Sex, like ice cream, comes in many flavors other than vanilla. Sub wenches are a favorite flavor of the captain, but as with ice cream, the captain takes a Ben & Jerry's outlook.

Many men are intimidated by subs though more are probably intimidated by doms though both can be lots of fun in completely different ways.

Society has also feminized men, but not the captain. (In the captain's firm voice) Now, bend over and assume the position... lol.
 phoenix.rising

Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 53
submissive women
Posted: 3/4/2008 4:05:50 PM

It sounds like your talking about a take charge, confident, type A guy....there are alot of us


Yes thank God!
 cheshire_grin

Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 54
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Posted: 3/4/2008 5:10:41 PM
I found my dom boy on here. He's fantastic and touches me in all the right places (mind, body, some spiritual connection that drives me insane). I think it's important to get wants/needs out of the way right away. We did, before even meeting. If I were a dominant woman, and he a dom man, it might make for a few interesting sessions but in the end, not what either of us wanted. So I just straightforwardly asked him through email. "What are you? Dom/sub?" and he replied Dom. This works for me. I like a man who will take control and say and do all the right nasty things to me. Some men like dom, some men like sub. Just the same with women.
 LassKisser

Joined: 12/31/2007
Msg: 55
submissive women
Posted: 3/4/2008 5:45:07 PM
In my experience, a submissive woman needs much more attention than your average gal.
 stormii_36

Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 56
submissive women
Posted: 3/4/2008 7:06:53 PM
A good bdsm site is collarme.com
 phoenix.rising

Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 57
submissive women
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:27:16 AM

In my experience, a submissive woman needs much more attention than your average gal


I disagree - I dont need extra attention. I just like someone that is a little more take charge in the bedroom. I am fully capable of taking control once I know where the boundries are I am just shy about expressing what I want in the heat of the moment. Perhaps its fear of my partner being turned off by my likes and dislikes I dont know. Once i have been with someone for a while, I can switch roles and be more dominant. In addition, I am totally NOT submissive outside of the bedroom. I am more of a "reach a happy medium" lady but please, do not think that you can boss me around or tell me what to do! LOL

Besides that, there is something hot about a man who is confident in the bedroom... liking someone dominant doesnt always mean humiliation or control. Sometimes it just means a confidence in what you like and not being afraid to show/tell someone what you want.
 StrangerInTheHouse

Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 58
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Posted: 3/5/2008 7:51:21 AM
I think one of the traps in love is that we're attracted very much to people we want to be like...
People who are timid are attracted to mates who will "complete" them and make them feel less threatened. Mates are "Great Equalizers" like Phil Spector and his guns or learning karate or something... and of course the "dom" has to look a long time or continually for people who'll put up with their crap *LOL* so.... but eventually, they find each other... and it's a marriage made in heaven, until the dom kills the timid one or beats her within an inch of her life or whatever... but the payoff is that all the time they're together, the timid one can sic their mate on people who make them feel threatened...

I don't know how many times I've seen people go through this.

Good luck...
 needmore123

Joined: 4/13/2005
Msg: 59
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Posted: 3/5/2008 10:25:37 AM
i don't know about other men but i love submissive women...its something primal and animalistic...and i think all women when having sex like to be submissive and taken by the man.
 Bi Coastal Girl

Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 60
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Posted: 3/5/2008 12:23:56 PM
If the time is right.....Is there anything wrong with grabbing a handful of hair, pulling your head back and filling your throat with something other than air?

Ummm what he just said...LOL
 kayliecat

Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 61
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Posted: 3/5/2008 12:48:59 PM

Sex, like ice cream, comes in many flavors other than vanilla. Sub wenches are a favorite flavor of the captain, but as with ice cream, the captain takes a Ben & Jerry's outlook.


Me, I can never decide on any one flavor. Vanilla is good, if it's the really deep flavored kind, good and creamy. But a yummy dark chocolate w/caramel in it, wow. Or blueberry cheesecake? Of course my absolute favorite is a really rich, dark, coffee icecream, maybe with marshmallow on top.

Maybe that's why I go b/t wanting to be dominated and wanting to dominate. And most of all enjoying teasing my guy until he just grabs me and pounds away. And then enjoying when he teases me back and makes me beg for his mouth. And then...

Variety is the spice of life, after all. For ice cream, and for sex, both.

Kaylie (all hypothetically speaking, of course. )
 theinnerdark

Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 62
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Posted: 3/5/2008 3:33:04 PM
Is it possible that I've done so much that I can no longer fit into one simple role? Perchance I am just far too depraved to be pleased by a woman who can't switch?

At the end of the day, I just don't see how staying in one role can be healthy for a long term relationship. There are those days I come home, and I'm tired and frustrated from work and I just want someone to take it from me.

There are days when I don't want to care what she wants, when I just want to make use of her until I just can't anymore.

And then there are days where I just want to make love and enjoy the connection with my partner.
 AtypicalOrgin

Joined: 5/21/2007
Msg: 63
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Posted: 3/5/2008 6:07:11 PM
I prefer aggressive women with submissive tendencies. I find women that have sexual aggressiveness much more appealing but also like it when they have playful submissive tendencies. You never know what you are going to get, the psychotic close ripper or the playful ear nibbler…..lol

Either way is fine with me!!
 franc68

Joined: 2/1/2008
Msg: 64
submissive women
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:50:42 PM
Well said, brother.
It's about two people in bed being intimate. Can't expect one of the people do be doing all of the 'work'. Take turns serving one another, find your balance...hard to stay in an imbalanced relationship. Men seem to have the onus on them these days to please the woman and make her come every time. Fine, but let's get more reciprocation going... many take it for granted that men will ejaculate no matter what. Which is true, but men's ejaculations and men's orgasm are not the same...if you do him right, he'll have a great orgasm to go along with his ejaculation. If he knows you'll take him there, he'll do you for hours before cashing in on it, and you will come several times!!

sorry, had to say it... don't mean to upset anyone, but male sexuality is far more complex than most women realize
 Lil Brooker

Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 65
submissive women
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:14:01 PM
4realgurl,
This is a quote from your profile:

IF UR ABOUT USIN WOMEN FOR SEX OR TO GET SOMETHING TO BETTER LIFE SITUATION PLEASE DONT HOLLA AT ME, BEEN THERE DONE THAT, IT NEVER WORKS, ok after a 6 month break i think its time for me to update this profile, im single and lookin for a read guy, no bs, no liar, someone who is cool to hang out with and wont take me or my kindness for granted....


*YOU* come across as dominant, especially with all the caps yelling and that might attract someone who is on the submissive side. Why not rewrite your profile so that it indicates that you are looking for the "take control, manly type"?
 cheshire_grin

Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 66
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Posted: 3/5/2008 8:22:02 PM
I don't think what you're like in the bedroom necessarily says what you're like as a girlfriend. I'm not a needy person. I can't stand needy, clingy, dependent people. However, in the bedroom, I like my partner to take control if my partner is male. With women, I'm more dominant. I like struggling, I like being the weaker one, and I enjoy all sorts of nasty phrases. I also enjoy vanilla once in awhile when it's more romantic and not just having a good romp. However, I don't think submissive women are more work. I think they just have to be your thing. Out of the bedroom, I think I'm less work than some of my friends. I don't demand my partner tell me where he/she is going all the time, I don't mind if they want outside sex partners, I don't mind if they're not around all the time. And I expect the same courtesies from them. It's just in the bedroom, I want certain things. So does my partner. It's giving and taking.
 captfun

Joined: 1/8/2008
Msg: 67
submissive women
Posted: 3/5/2008 9:21:04 PM
Therefore; sticks and stones may break my . . . bones but whips and chains excite me.
 ~*Angel Eyes*~

Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 68
submissive women
Posted: 3/5/2008 9:27:53 PM
Eh I like a mix, in general I think ass slapping and stuff like that is ok..maybe not hair pulling ouch....... I like it so that there isn't 1 having total control over the other, but both speaking their mind about what they want.
 Chivo_diablo

Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 69
submissive women
Posted: 3/6/2008 7:56:12 AM

Unless you're on a kinky dating site, most men aren't going to put that they want submissive women. They'll be almost instantly stigmatized and have every feminist for miles burning panties on their doorsteps


I mention it pretty openly in my profile. I'm sure anyone looking for a dominant man reading my profile would get it. It's really no easier on the kinky sites, people lie just like anywhere else. I know a several women in the OP's situation that are on the kink ones too.
 hellbound101

Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 70
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Posted: 3/6/2008 7:57:17 AM
my wife is super submissive and let me tell u it sucks to me submissive is another word for borrrrrrrrrrrring somebody call 911 i think shes dead know wat i meanat the same time u dont want them to aggresive im not into taking a weapon to bed to defend myself a happy medium is wat i need well off i go to find one peace all
 Knightofyourlife

Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 71
submissive women
Posted: 3/6/2008 3:46:31 PM
I wasn't able to respond earlier for membership reasons, but I noticed this post. realgurl, submission is fundamental for some people, where dominance is for others, (male or female). Look into the eyes of your prospective partner. He's either a dom or he's not. I happen to be, and the ladies in my life are attracted to me for that reason. None have ever had to ask, they know. Dominance is an artform, like dance, athletics, sculpting. It takes practice and experience. Mention a "good spanking" for instance, and see if his eyes light up. You don't need a bullie, Sadist, woman-hater etc. There's plenty of those around. You need an artist.
 stephaniezowie

Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 72
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Posted: 3/6/2008 5:17:07 PM
sweetie dom males are everywhere!
just look on the sex sites!
 wiganmale

Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 73
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Posted: 3/6/2008 5:42:03 PM

Do men really like submissive women? or do most of them really not wanna be the aggressive party? im very submissive and finding a dominant man is very hard to find these days, how can u tell if a man is dom without askin him from jump?


Personally, I don't think men prefer submissive woman at all, there a little boring if truth be said when they just leave it all up tto the man. I much prefer a woman who wants to be just as involved and forthcoming as the man, who tells you wants she wants. Makes for much better and raunchy sex.

It takes two to tango, so both both should tango.
 sherilyn70

Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 74
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Posted: 3/6/2008 5:47:29 PM
If he acts tough, insists on having his way most of the time, and irritates the hell out of your friends with his attitude, then he probably is a dominant.

No, he probably is not dominant. He is what we refer to as a wannabe power tripper that is in it for all the wrong reasons.


In my experience, a submissive woman needs much more attention than your average gal.

Then you probably weren't with submissive women but needy ones. Submissive women are typically strong willed and independent. Hang around enough in a D/s community and you'll quickly learn that.


Personally, I don't think men prefer submissive woman at all, there a little boring if truth be said when they just leave it all up to the man. I much prefer a woman who wants to be just as involved and forthcoming as the man, who tells you wants she wants. Makes for much better and raunchy sex.

LOL, that's because you have obviously never been with a true submissive woman. :) A sub is just as involved in the end result as the dominant. She should absolutely be telling you what she wants, it just may not be in the middle of your hot and wild sex. If you are actually doing your job right you'll know what she wants, needs and desires before you ever begin the act. If you're not sure then you ask her and she should be more than happy to tell you.

how can u tell if a man is dom without askin him from jump?

As for how to find out if a man is dominant, that is a tricky one to do without completely giving anything away. I've learned quickly that announcing that you're submissive outright brings out the wannabes and the power trippers. You just have to learn to look for traits of natural dominance, such as they are not afraid to take control of a situation. I also look for good communications skills since most Dom's understand the importance of talking and understanding what each other wants and needs. If you're out with them in person you can test the waters by using submissive postures around them and seeing how they react to them. I've found that even a man that hasn't done it before will respond if he just naturally is dominant. :) I am not looking for D/s relationship myself but I am looking for a man that is naturally dominant and not afraid to go for what he wants and is never going to be afraid to touch me. Tough and macho have absolutely nothing at all to do with that.
 4realgurl

Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 75
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Posted: 3/6/2008 8:16:36 PM
i personaly dont think i cant take on a dom role ever, but i jus wish i could find a guy who would consider being the dom in the bedroom, him being dom he could tell me to overpower him, its give give u know, im in no way plain boring or vanilla

thanks for the posts

carly
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