| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/19/2008 2:40:03 PM | Actually this is the wrong question. Sure there are men that like submissive women and there are men that don't care for them. There are degrees of submissiveness.
The best way to find out is to ask. If you are with a man that you care for and want to develop a relationship. Look him in the eye and ask him what he likes to do. Tell him you want him to be honest. Tell him what you like and see what reaction you get. If it is a bad reaction then it is better you find out now then later.
I hope this helps.
Pitsie
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/19/2008 5:32:00 PM | To find out, ask this question, 4realgurl: "Do you think a woman should submit in a relationship?"
Now, you could ask the question about whether a man should be dominant in a relationship, but the question is about submission, because the degree of submission is controlled by the woman. Women have the ultimate power to withhold consent, withhold trust, so the power always resides with her. She extends control based on her level of trust.
No man can ever truly dominate a woman unless she relinquishes control, because submission comes from the woman's mind.
Because men strive to be trusted, they work to gain as much of her submission as she will grant them. | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/19/2008 5:40:29 PM | kinkdude wrote:
If he acts tough, insists on having his way most of the time, and irritates the hell out of your friends with his attitude, then he probably is a dominant.
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Let's not confuse macho with dominant. Dominance is best accomplished without the bravado of wearing it on one's sleeve.
Gentle dominance, gentle strength is often more appealing to a submissive than braggadocio. | |
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Posted: 3/19/2008 5:50:16 PM | [Of all places, this IS the place to discuss your sexual/lifestyle preferrences.... many of us on here are here because we didn't do that to begin with OR things changed as our minds opened up. I think this is the best place to talk about preferrences.]
Bravo, Ikiera!! | |
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Posted: 3/19/2008 5:56:23 PM | to a second life
[I personally have a suspicion that POF doesnt' want such sexual preferences as part of its selection or search criteria.]
The advertisement that got me to POF indicated that alternate life-stylers were welcome, even though it didn't cater to them. If you list kinks in the interests area of your profile and then click on them, you'll find people discussing or searching for partners interested in the same things they are. If you check other's listed interests, you may see their kinks there. | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:20:35 PM | | kinkdude...you are so wrong.....the quiet guy in the corner nursing his drink ...can do his thing....he has enough confidence not to have to tell everone he is good, he knows it, and you do to by his walk,...NOT THE TALK!!!!!!!! | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:44:10 PM | Yes, some of us love submissive women. For me it is a sexual thing. Outside of sexual things I believe in and want equality. When it comes to sexual however, I prefer to be in charge. There is something very sexy about a woman that will not say no. ;)
Most sexually sub women are far from being limp fish, they are very active and love to please their man. A true sub derives pleasure from giving of herself.
Please note as I said to begin with, for me it is a sexual thing only, I do not want to micromanage anyone's life. | |
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Posted: 3/20/2008 10:21:35 PM |
Let's not confuse macho with dominant. Dominance is best accomplished without the bravado of wearing it on one's sleeve.
Dominance or submission is like power and wealth -- if you have to announce that you have it, then you probably do not have a lot. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 2:19:08 AM | 4real, At 50-some, I am still trying to discern what others mean by "submissive" for their sexual MO, but I don't really care as I seem to be engaged to a woman whose profile once stated that she wasn't interested in another marriage. We both seem to be stretching each other's willingness in ways neither once imagined.
I've always fancied assertive women, and especially those who considered themselves submissive for the taking, but I learned the hard way that their agenda was not mine, and their submission was merely a ruse to lead us into what I'm neither designed nor inclined to become for my idea of a successful relationship.
I value a woman who can clearly communicate for her feelings, and not become too insulted that I don't quite get these at first ...or that I might have something to add and expand on these for us. Assertive for self, but able and willing to let my vote count? Priceless. I never considered myself as desiring to be the dominant one in the bedroom, but the right partner for other matters might just bring this out in me, and especially if I know that it's what she desires. I've hopefully learned to discern "submissive" from a lack of self-respect ...and we can all do better than a partner only willing to go w/ the flow and who treats sex like a means to an end. It's one more way to make love, and I'm one who likes to take turns to keep us going. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 6:40:12 AM | | Absolutely! But I like a submissive woman who's a tad shy and then gives in.........it's suits a very erotic fantasy that many men have of seducing a shy woman and bringing out her wild side.............gets me hard just thinking about it | |
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Posted: 3/21/2008 7:29:58 AM | | hi, i agree with you totally, i am same as you find it hard to express myself in the bedroom so love it when the guy just goes for it and he knows what pleases you or not at same time pleasing himself, but think you need to trust person, so they know not to go too far, they know if they are hurting you as well | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:01:53 AM | If given the choice between a self-defined "submissive" or "strong" woman, give me the submissive woman any day! I want a partner, not a competitor. I want to be the one making most of the important decisions, not her. Maybe that's why I'm still single, haha!  | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:13:11 AM | Being both is really great but depends on my mood.....There are times I want to just "rip it up " and others I want it slow and to last throughout the night and I think guys like the not knowing what u are going to get into......  | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 8:59:26 AM | Yes, some men like submissive women. Some women like submissive women, too. However, some people may look upon submissive people as doormats, or as people with low self-confidence. Sometimes, the judgement is correct, and sometimes, it's balderdash.
How can you know if a man is a dom, without asking him to jump?
In my opinion, a dominant man announces himself, NOT through words or even actions. Not through how he dresses, or the props he carries with him... it is simply in how he carries himself. It's a quiet confidence that I've seen in any of the men that have deserved my submission in the past. It's a confidence that I see in men who deserve to have someone else submit to them. They simply know that they are dominant, and needn't advertise. Their presence commands respect- not because of pomp and all the other bullsh*t reasons out there... but because they simply.. ARE. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 9:06:21 AM | I agree with the poster. It is hard to find a man who can take charge in bed. At BDSM clubs I generaly find people who are way more into D/S than I am. I just want a man to throw me on the bed and take me like I'm his...not chain me up and beat me with switches.
It seems to me that posting things like Sub/Dom on your profile opens you up to imidiate conversations about sex. Most guys see that and think "this chicks a freak, I gotta hit that" and from there they tell you anything you want to hear.
But yes, I agree it is hard to find a strong man. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 9:13:17 AM | XFRITZX:
Submissive and Asertive are not oposits. It is possible to be both.
I'm a take charge kinda girl. I get shit done...but when I'm with a man, I want him to be strong and take me.
I think a lot of guys mistake a 'dead fish' for a submissive girl. But that's not true at all. A submissive girl will do whatever her man tells her to get him off, and she gets off on the fact that she's getting him off...
Submissive does not mean unable to make descitions, or unable to initiate sex. If you get yourself a good sub all it will take is one little glance or a slight touch to get you going. You'll know she's into you because she's willing to do anything to make you happy and she trusts that you would never make her do anything she wouldn't like. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 9:57:54 AM | Some men are attracted to a Subie like iron to a magnet others not so.
Finding someone that compliments your personality in a Dom/Sub relationship is incredable and very fufilling.
Mind you a powerful Subie is like a force of nature, it makes the Dom more aware of thier own nature and gives a lot of motivation to invest in thier part of the relationship. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 4:16:48 PM | Goodness, that is a tough one, because the question is not specific, so let me define.
Okay, I think men like submissive women for just sex, because they are easy.
Personally, I like a woman who is not submissive, and not dominant either.
I like an equal, and for a life long mate, or wife, spouse, whatever you call your love,
I prefer a woman who is not bossy, who knows my weaknesses and expounds upon them...
After all, a woman who can say No to me initially, can say NO to any man who hits on her while she is in a relationship with me, a trait I very much admire...
Submissive women seem to forget they are in a relationship if their man is not standing there with his arm around her waist... just speaking from experience...
For example, when a woman wants to initiate lovemaking, the truly dominant female will use sly cunning tactics, such as sexy poses, glances or touches... She will not verbally demand sex like a leather clad, whip in hand dominatrix...
I dont think many men can be forced to get hard, it is like orgasm, from within your own mind... Just like the difference between rough sex and rape is a mental consent thing, it is not of the flesh...
I love a woman who seduces me, not demands or bosses me...
I have dated doctors and lawyers, but prefers nurses and secretaries. The serving
versus the bossy type wins my admiration and attractiveness towards sexiness...
I am no submissive man, I am quite independent and a leader type.
So I hope that defines between wanting a woman for sex, or for a life long partner...
How to know if he is a dom or sub, I think that if a man respects you he will not be grabbing on you or making any physical contact initially except a handshake...
A domineering man will size up his potential lover as to the amount of work it will take to get her into bed. And he will take as many shortcuts as possible.
A submissive man will allow the woman to initiate contact, or order the food, and will keep his hands and sexual inuendo and urges to himself...
Maybe that will help you, maybe not, but those are my thoughts OP...
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 4:20:32 PM | | I prefer them submissive , so to speak, yes. Not necessarily timid in day to day life, as that can be a bit irritating too in its own way, but if you mean "submissive" in their private life then yes I prefer that "type" over any kind of "dominant" woman. In fact I usually can knock the would-be dominant ones down to size, through a mixture of a mind-f*%# and a real one..... | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 4:42:16 PM |
Okay, I think men like submissive women for just sex, because they are easy.
LOL, that is the craziest thing I have ever heard. Just ask any man that tried to dominate me thinking he could use me for sex... he walked away pretty frustrated.
After all, a woman who can say No to me initially, can say NO to any man who hits on her while she is in a relationship with me, a trait I very much admire...
Submissive women seem to forget they are in a relationship if their man is not standing there with his arm around her waist... just speaking from experience...
I can't think of a single true submissive woman I know that isn't painfully faithful to the men that she is with. If a sub is truely in a relationship with another man she is not going to forget it... especially if she has his necklace around her neck.
For example, when a woman wants to initiate lovemaking, the truly dominant female will use sly cunning tactics, such as sexy poses, glances or touches... She will not verbally demand sex like a leather clad, whip in hand dominatrix...
Sweetie, you just described the subs roll. :) | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 5:25:20 PM | .
Submissive ... when?
I won't even date a woman who isn't quite independent, with a mind of her own. But in the bedroom, or anywhere else sex is on the menu, variety is the spice of life. (I mean variety with that one woman.) | |
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