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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 5:44:21 PM | Only if she cooks and cleans and stays away from me during game time.
There . I said it.
I'm only kidding, jeesh.
They don't need to cook. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/21/2008 10:34:31 PM | | Reading these replies reminds me that there are two groups of people. Those who know how to catch a clue, and those who haven't the foggiest notion of even when the clue mating season occurs. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:59:47 AM | | It's not for me, but each to their own. I don't think it's possible to guage anyone's sexual tastes or preferrences by having coffee, dating for 2 or 3 weeks or meeting their family / friends. We all have a little bit of freak in us that we're too embarrased to announce to the world with a bumper sticker "I heart (insert your fetish here)". This is one of those things that should come up when you have 'the talk'. The more important the topic is to you, the earlier you should mention it. Monogamy, kids, sports teams, ... if you're not willing to go without & they're not willing to compromise, what future do you have anyway? Right fetish or right partner? In an ideal world it'll be the same person. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:35:12 AM | She doesn't have to be submissive, but I like it when she does what I tell her to do.
I love it when I can say get on your knees...now suck it....really suck it, not just put it in your mouth...now turn around and bend over...that's it...that's what I like...ahhhhhhh...I will go out of my way to please her...the next time...or the time after that.
I like it when a woman says "make me feel like a woman"...so, I take off all of my cloths....throw them at her and say...wash these! | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 8:18:10 AM |
Okay, I think men like submissive women for just sex, because they are easy.
Your kidding right?
After all, a woman who can say No to me initially, can say NO to any man who hits on her while she is in a relationship with me, a trait I very much admire...
Submissive women seem to forget they are in a relationship if their man is not standing there with his arm around her waist... just speaking from experience...
I know you said that is your experience but trust me. Most women even if they have submissive tendancies have NO problem saying no to another man when he is hitting on her if she is with someome.
I think that you have the idea that women who are a little on the submissive side can't stand up for themselves, have no respect for themselves and can't even function if their SO is not right there with them telling them what to do.
I think if you re-read some of the posts from women on here you will find that alot of the women are confident and can certainly take care of themselves. lol | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 9:34:40 AM | Hi 4real
try the d/s sites there are plenty of them out there. How can you tell hmmmm I can spot it a mile away being Dominant myself its instinctual. For those who think submissives are wimps...your wrong. It takes a very strong person and it can be male or female
good luck 4real. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:07:47 AM | Ok I'll throw this out there.
Man tells woman what to do during sex "get over here and suck my *****".
What is sexier: the woman who follows him around all day like a puppy while she picks up after him and complies by sucking his **** in bed?
OR
The woman who is strong and independent and an EQUAL during the day and can match him word for word in a debate...and complies by sucking his **** in bed?
I'm gonna guess it's the second one. Her "submitting" is sexy, because he knows it's an indicator of trust on her part, and he knows it is by choice, and he knows he earned it.
The first one, eh, well, she's just a wussy doormat and the reason she is sucking on his **** is because she has no desires of her own. The first one, well, she really isn't submitting when she sucks him, because there's nothing to "sub"mit. She has no other will, no other drive, to put aside. I'm having a hard time putting this into words, can you tell? But I really do think there's a fundamental difference.
Kaylie | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 11:30:32 AM | I can relate to where you are coming from. I too am looking for a dominant male and they are hard to come by. However, there are some men on this site that do have the qualities that we seek. Don't settle...and keep on fishing.
A | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:11:12 PM | Okay, I've donned my BULLET PROOF vest, cause lotsa guys are
gonna shoot me over this one........
Had a 'submissive' for a year!
She chased, caught me. Sex was GRRREEEEAAAATTT!!!
[use your imagination...don't hold back!!!]
We didn't LAST! [put down the GUNS guys!!] [BLAMM BLAMM BLAMM]
[thank goodness for VESTS!]
Now that thats over......
She WAS a doormat, I just couldn't stand her out of the hay!
Tried to get her to open up to life. Get interested. All she wanted to do.......
STAY in BED !!!!
BLAMM BLAMM BLAMMM
WAIT! ain't got my vest on!
Needless to say, submissive turns me off.
SO DO BULLETS!!!!! OOOH! They harm the fabric!! [epidermis too] | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 12:39:52 PM |
Had a 'submissive' for a year!
She chased, caught me. Sex was GRRREEEEAAAATTT!!!
[use your imagination...don't hold back!!!]
I'm really confused... how was she a sub again? In what way did she even remotely resemble one since you didn't describe one here.
Now that thats over......
She WAS a doormat, I just couldn't stand her out of the hay!
Tried to get her to open up to life. Get interested. All she wanted to do.......
STAY in BED !!!!
BLAMM BLAMM BLAMMM
WAIT! ain't got my vest on!
I'm missing the part where she was a doormat. You tried to get her to do things and she wouldn't... how is that you walking on her? You didn't like her because she wanted to do nothing but have sex? What does this even remotely have to do with being submisive yet again?
Based on your logic, a guy once was mean to me over so all men are dominant jerks. | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 2:05:19 PM | Sherlyn,
She wouldn't tell me her opinions on anything,
she said she would keep her job, gave it up when
we got involved.
She wouldn't go with me ANYWHERE!!
She would call," lets hump like bunnies,",
I had plans, she wouldn't get involved or interested
outside the bedroom.
Asked her to cook a meal...."lets eat at my MOMs!"
Finally, I talked her into going to school, so she could
open up, come to life.
She did meet new friends, though she quit school,
wanted to fall back into living in a bedroom,
while we eat our meals at MOMs, unless I cook,
which I often did. While working 12 hour days!
Tried to talk to her, got that 'hurt puppy' look!
She simply would not engage me in conversation
about the real world!
What I DID to her, was INVEST a YEAR trying
to bring her to life, trusting her to take on
responsibility, not shun it. I didn't drag her into
that bedroom, she impressed me with her forwardness,
I figured she just needed time, which I gave her.
Was I WRONG in your eyes to want a LIFE outside
the bedroom?
Is it WRONG for a guy to SUBMIT to a gal, with
expectation that a relationship will Blossom beyond
SEX?
She did eventually find a guy who was able to deal
with living in a bedroom, telling her HOW TO EVERYTHING,
every aspect of her life.
If THAT isn't SUBMISSIVE,tell me what IS!
Saw an acquaintance of mine marry a gal exactly like her,
He thought like me, give her time, wound up with the same result.
Submissive people work fine with people who are into running every
single aspect in a relationship. Just don't, upon finding a submissive,
think you can change one. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:36:17 PM | I've been following this thread for a while and feel I have to comment on some of the mis-conceptions posters have of submission and submissives. Having both vanilla and more alternative relationships I can understand that there is a lot of mis- information out there. Submissives have a range of personalities that cross the spectrum from shy to assertive. These personalities can be and often are polar opposites in the bedroom in opposition to real life. A minority of partners in the lifestyle have anything close to a 24-7-365 D/s relationship. You can't tell a submissive or Dominant outside of asking them. I've met female nurses, schoolteachers, CEO's and Firemen who all dressed and acted within their conventional roles until they were comfortable and ready to play. Judging a submissive by calling them "easy" or assuming the like pain or do not have well defined boundaries is ignorance and nothing else. A person in an alternative lifestyle or even who just wants to experiment is a "person" first. Don't assume, take the time to get to know the person and explore. If you are in a fling roleplay can be scketchy business. Taking someone and having it be an exciting experience or a terrifying one is only a shade of perception different.
To reply directly to the Author... Yes some men do really like submissive women and some men enjoy being Dominant. A subset of those men enjoy being aggressive in the bedroom, from experience I'd say a large subset. But, even these men can be tentative when first getting to know someone. People don't usually advertise their kinks to the outside world. If you are interested in a guy and want to find out how he'd act I'd suggest falling into a roleplay scenario. Try being coy or drop a hint even if it is as corny as oh I've been bad do I need a spanking... If they don't pick up the ball and can't impress you with their banter outside the bedroom they probably won't be very creative inside. If they don't get it or are creepy about it obviously just pass them by. You may find better luck and not have to ruin the fantasy by seeking out a BDSM club, lifestyle group or try ALT.com best of luck and be careful, there are more than a few men and women that don't make compatible partners for a submissive. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:46:50 PM | | Nope! I can not speak for all mankind,, nut for me,, Submissive women can be fun,, Dominant women RULE! For me, I am dominant in my day to day to life,, i love it when a woman takes control and gives me the break i need,, its nice... | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 3:48:59 PM | I like to go with the feelings. Sometimes they go this way, sometimes that way. Over the years it seems that for the most part, the way it works is that my desire to have the woman is the driving force, which works with her enjoyment in being attractive, wanted and then taken. Taken, as long as I put her back where I found her and clean up when I am done. I think the typical heterosexual encounter has the man being dominant just because of how sex works. The man is trying to accomplish something. The woman is there for reasons of her own. So it would make sense that the man takes charge and gets the job done.
Look at how women go shopping. They wander endlessly and aimlessly around a whole shopping mall full of stores, looking at all kinds of things, just for the pleasure of, well, of whatever it is they get out of it. Men will make a bee line to the particular item they came to buy, pay cash because it's faster, and get back out again with purchase in hand, mission accomplished. In sex, a woman likes to adorn herself, dress sexy, feel attractive and just be that way. She lingers in the domain of desires. Men focus on a particular woman and want to act on the impulse. They want to get off.
Playing with the way each feels and mixing it up is fun, but I think there is an underlying way of it.
The BDSM stuff seems like a way to socialize. You would go to parties, play with other people, buy costumes and wear black leather. I wouldn't be surprised if it was sponsored on the sly by the folks who market Harley Davidson merchandise. The BDSM websites I have seen greatly resemble the HD dealerships I have occasionally wandered into. | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:17:37 PM | Meteor, no you are not describing even remotely a submissive woman. If she were submissive as you suggested she would have gone to school for you, she would have cooked that meal instead of suggesting eating at her mothers. She would have tried to get out of the house for you. Or she would have at least tried each of these tasks at least once to make you happy. What did she actually do that was an act of submission for you? I'm very confused on why you keep saying she was.
What you described was a lazy person with no ambition and was very possibly suffering from severe depression and low self esteem. | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:47:34 PM | Sounds like what I call the Princess Syndrome only with a little bit more verbal assertiveness.
No, I don't like JUST submissive women. I like a woman who is secure enough in her own identity and ego that we can do both because there is also nothing as awesome as being pushed down on the bed with all that gorgeous long hair draping around you as she comes in for a kiss, nibbles on your ear & neck, proceeds to turn you on, strip you down, get on you, and ride you like there is no tomorrow!
OK, now that we've established I like cowgirls.... 
I mean come on people -- do you order the same thing at a restaurant all the time? Do you want the very same meal day in and day out?
My two cents on this -- the guy who wants his woman to submit ALL the time has an ego problem, low self esteem, and it may feel good in the bedroom to have these ego-gasms but it isn't gonna fix the problem. In the long run this woman is going to end up bitter and dissatisfied. A good couple should be building each other up, IN and OUT of the bedroom. Sure they're gonna have verbal fights but if it isn't 2 steps forward and one back overall it is not a healthy relationship.
Meteor already pointed out one version of this. She may have been a powerhouse in the c0ck sucking department but emotionally she never grew into womanhood. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:18:31 PM | | Ive been browsing through most of the posts here and the ignorance of nilla is appalling in a few of the posts. I know many lifestyle true Dominant men as freinds...they are out there ladies. | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/22/2008 7:52:21 PM |
I mean come on people -- do you order the same thing at a restaurant all the time? Do you want the very same meal day in and day out?
No, I don't want the same exact meal every day... but I also can't stand broccoli. So there are certain things I absolutely don't want and for me that is being the aggressive one. Just because the sexual scenario involves submission doesn't mean it always has to be the same routine. Mix it up a little bit. :)
A good couple should be building each other up, IN and OUT of the bedroom.
I don't understand that statement. How is a submissive and dominant exchange not building each other up? Communication between two people in this type of relationship tends to be above average in my experiences.
Meteor already pointed out one version of this. She may have been a powerhouse in the c0ck sucking department but emotionally she never grew into womanhood.
But the only problem there is he didn't describe a submissive woman. He described someone that was probably in severe need of medication for depression. He has yet to actually give any examples of her being submissive. | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/23/2008 4:52:46 PM |
I'm gonna guess it's the second one. Her "submitting" is sexy, because he knows it's an indicator of trust on her part, and he knows it is by choice, and he knows he earned it.
The first one, eh, well, she's just a wussy doormat and the reason she is sucking on his **** is because she has no desires of her own. The first one, well, she really isn't submitting when she sucks him, because there's nothing to "sub"mit. She has no other will, no other drive, to put aside. I'm having a hard time putting this into words, can you tell? But I really do think there's a fundamental difference.
I was basically agreeing with that and hopefully trying to expound on some of what she said because I think we are on similar wavelengths on this issue. There is a psychology of trust at play, in action, in this scenario she points out. It is functioning on more than one level, certainly more than just a sexual one.
Communication between two people in this type of relationship tends to be above average in my experiences.
So in your book no one should ever hope or shoot for anything with above average? 
I have news for you, the majority of marriages fail. It doesn't mean people do not keep trying. Where's the wake up and smell the coffee emoticon when I need it?
So there are certain things I absolutely don't want and for me that is being the aggressive one.
That is your own personal preference and that is fine -- respect my wishes, too.
A woman wanting to submit is somewhat natural as culturally they are taught to be looked at, enamored, and be desired. In being submissive they feel they fulfill this role. But there are some whose will have been launched into a new way of thinking since they got the right to vote and this extends into the bedroom.
If I am looking for a lifetime partner why shouldn't I want a confident self-actualized woman? Maybe one who while I am gone from our house, god forbid something happens to say our child or a relative, she can say... give CPR as I can or should an intruder enter shoot like I can?
What is so wrong with that? I will still see her as feminine and soft and sexually desireable. | |
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| submissive women
Posted: 3/23/2008 6:54:29 PM | If I am looking for a lifetime partner why shouldn't I want a confident self-actualized woman? Maybe one who while I am gone from our house, god forbid something happens to say our child or a relative, she can say... give CPR as I can or should an intruder enter shoot like I can?
Wow... are you some of you guys really this dense? Submissive women are exactly what you just said you want. So many of you continue to be contradicting.
You've seen me posting here, do you think that I'm doormat? Do I really strike you as someone that just says "yes dear?" or that would be easy to get into bed? Do you really think I'm incapable of taking care of myself or others? Do you really see me as being weak? Because I am a submissive woman. | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:18:13 AM | | in my experience, most men say, 'hell yeah' but then when it comes to taking control, they dont seem to know where to start, or they are 'scared of hurting you' or they have trouble with penetration, or maybe ive just not been lucky enough to meet someone that matches my needs :( im feeling that needing, 'the extras' is a curse | |
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| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/24/2008 9:23:10 AM | JASMINE, u hit the nail right on the head,,,,they say they can take control and do this and do that, but when it cums time, OH I DIDNT WANNA BE TOO ROUGH WITH U....are u freakin kiddin me???
you know what im dealing with them, well i met a guy who i think can handle me, well see how things go,,,
ttyl
carly | |
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