|
|
|
|
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/24/2008 6:28:53 PM | "Do men really like submissive women?"
YES
however, most men these days were not raised to be men. This means that they are stuck in arrested development and need a mother more then a wife. So the caution for submissive women is first find a man that you can respect outside of the bedroom as a good man, before revealing to him the depths of your submission. You don't want to find out you're with a drunk driver when you're already in the car!
(ps just so you guys know I'm not just talking shyt on "modern man", modern woman is raised to deny their natural female impulses, and there is this kind of silent assumption that a woman who resolves that she "needs" a man is some how weak and is doing harm to the "cause". Where so called feminism is actually a philosophy bent on masculating women, and feminising men against their nature. This results in women who feel its "dirty" to need a man, and unfortunately it also results in young males who don't understand the fulfillment from being a good woman's stable foundation. Instead its seen as a "weakness" of women, to exploit for sexual access, also tacitly affirmed in the media.) | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/24/2008 7:17:44 PM | After review the postings I just have to say that the sterotypes about BDSM and dominant men and submissive women floors me. It's as bad as the stereotypes about men and women on POF.
Let me describe one fellow that I know. He's been dominant since he was a young man. It was part of his marriage, and after his divorce it is part of his relationships. He organizes a munch. He gives demonstrations in the use of fire in BDSM for another organization.
Currently he's living with a woman that is half his age and they are definitely a happy couple.
He also gets up in the morning and makes lunch for his submissive girlfriend before she goes to work.
Strange? Not really. In the seventies I worked with a woman in IT who was liberated enough to offer to go for coffee like the rest of the guys did. | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/24/2008 7:20:00 PM | Anais Nin's quote personifies the want of the submissive woman.
I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, ****ed, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding.
Inspiring a truly dominant man into a caveman like lust, is not the act of a weak or dense woman. The mind **** that is involved is what is the turn on, making him want so much he might lose control, yet doesn't. It's sort of funny that sexually submissive women are being called weak, since most of these women can manipulate to the point of driving a weak man loopy.
Dominant men are a hard find, it takes intelligence, self confidence and the ability to truly listen to a woman combined with mutual chemistry, which is a rare find. | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/26/2008 2:08:58 AM | Hokay boys and girls. The gloves come off.
Read back a few pages, I had a few semi-nasty [but well typed if I do say so myself... and I do  ] comments. I was nervous to actually come out and 'say' it directly, cuz I was new on the forum pages.
More than 2 women, and more than 2 men, have since actually made the statement [one very intelligently posed it as a question asking if it were really true.] Therefore, I shall unoriginally follow suit.
You folks who equate submissiveness with spinelessness are, in a BEST CASE scenario, absolutely friggin insane. Period. Quit ****ing. You heard it here -- submission and dominance can occur independently from demurity [is that even a word? 'demureness?'] and assertiveness. Perhaps they are 'more often' found correlating [occuring in similar proportions to each other] but they don't HAVE to.
Think of it this way -- one can very fairly make the generalized statement that guys prefer to be in relationships with women, and women with guys. This is a fair generalization because, by and by, heterosexuality is more common, statistically, than other sexual bents. Go back to your registration screen, however, and you WILL find that PlentyOfFish.com can support same-sex dating preferences, if you tweak your options correctly. They don't HYPE it because 'most' of the registrants ARE looking for opposite-sex communication.
And, speaking of closets, those of you whom I 'outed' as being insane in a best-case scenario two paragraphs ago?!? Insanity is one thing, but when you insist that you are right just because no one has proved you wrong.... ooooo.  Makes me wanna run and hide.
You have the right to your opinion. But don't go calling OTHER people names, names that you have been erroneously led to believe are hurtful names even though you haven't the foggiest notion of what you're actually saying, and then stand behind and defend your 'opinion' as 'fact.'
Perhaps the originator of this very thread was actually a submissive lady. Bygones, if they were, at some points of reading this thread, I'll be honest, my temples start to throb due to my being extremely allergic to stupidity. Thank GOODNESS there are some extremely poignant observations 'vaccinated' into it periodically to validate my trust not only in humanity, but also in the very concept of there being such a thing as 'common' sense.
But I do know that there are power-aware and power-ignorant people. The latter group, you are the insane people. Notice, I am not calling you evil, or stupid, or unintelligent -- more like naive. I don't pity you per se, but I do wish upon you the happiness that comes from actually learning that there is a whole dimension of the social spectrum that you are missing out on. To the former, those power-aware dommies and subbies, ...
You are not alone. Yes, unfortunately, there are predators and people who take unfair advantage of buzzwords and munches and fetish fairs to unfairly prey on unsuspecting but otherwise truly good people. As a dom guy myself, _I_ have been preyed upon by predatory WOMEN posing as SUBMISSIVES. Yes, it CAN happen, it's NOT just the guys that are pricks. That said, I remind you that even nilla-wafers in our midst also have to deal with broken relationships, dysfunctions, psychoses, and other hellish experiences, so it's not 'just us.'
I'd strum a guitar if I could, so that we can all join hands and sing 'kumbaya.' Since I can't, I'll simply close on the inspiring note that, no matter how power-aware you are, or even IF you are aware at all, there IS someone out there for you. With so many people walking this green earth, it is not possibile in my mind to not be able to find SOMEONE who is just as informed or ignorant as you, who has needs compatible with what you offer a special someone, who is appropriate for your smoking preference, who has clean breath, fair personal hygiene, and enjoys talking to YOU. Have at it.
And stop telling ME that submissive women are spineless. Please, I'll pay you...  | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/26/2008 2:55:56 AM | Dan, Don't get worked up about it and No point in trying to 'xplain anything that is part of your 'soul' to nillas. Too hard to explain to people who just don't feel it and will never 'get' it. Being dominant or submissive is just what a person 'IS".
Some of the most powerful (business wise ) men and women are submissive. It is not something anyone can just guess. Being a doormat/spineless is NOT being submissive , being a doormat/spineless is someone who has problems. Who would have guessed that Cher is a submissive? huh?
What makes me laugh even more is that men saying "yeah I love being dominant in bed' whoopy-di-do, anyone can play at being a Top which has nothing to do with being a Dominant or being Submissive.
I wish once and for all people would realise that Sm is not D/s and people always have that confused.
Bet no one could tell what side of the fence I sit.
 | |
|
| submissive women
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:22:31 PM | Y'all are making good points. I love big strong dominant men...I don't think I am anything close to being a true submissive though. To tell the truth, I don't think my family has made all the links in the genetic chain....we all (men and women) seem to have a lot of wildness in us yet.
A man has to work for it and earn it if he wants to tame me.
I like to think the old Hepburn/Tracy movies of some great examples of heated sexuality. I prefer to think of what I want in a relationship like a wolf pack. They have an alpha female and an alpha male...
Why not two doms? Or even just the one, with the woman not being a submissive?
Its not the violence and/or aggression that is the big turn on. Its the control and the reverting to our most natural selves. I think a lot of women like me just want a man who is more of a man than we are.
No matter what you heard on Oprah or Dr. Phil, most women are not any more interested in your feminine side than you are in our masculine side. | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:33:14 PM |
What is sexier: the woman who follows him around all day like a puppy while she picks up after him and complies by sucking his **** in bed?
OR
The woman who is strong and independent and an EQUAL during the day and can match him word for word in a debate...and complies by sucking his **** in bed?
Oh, definitely the second. The first example would be an annoying person. The second is a godsend. :P | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/26/2008 11:25:22 PM |
The first example would be an annoying person.
This from a handle 'SmellOfPoop.' I didn't make this up, folks, so don't blame me for noticing.  | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:05:57 PM | As a natural Dom I would have to say that a real Subie is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
And the best Subie I have ever known initiated the contact and let me know what she was looking for and why she chose me.
The way it has been explained to me is Doms aren't always what you expect just like Submissives aren't. They often keep part of them selves undercover till they are comfortable with a person and then they allow that part of thier personality out to play.
On the other hand once you are comfortable with who and what you are WOOOO HOOO life is much more exciting and fufilling. | |
|
| |
| |
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:48:42 AM | | I must admit to preference of the woman taking the lead. My ideal is a strong willed, clear thinking woman who likes to get her own way and knows how to get it. Not submissive at all but that's just me. | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/2/2008 8:59:58 PM | You would be surprised how many "submissives" are getting their way by giving the power and control to thier partner.
Being a dom I have found that it is a lot more about steering and guiding than it is about taking and forcing.
A natural submisssive will be willing to go much further than she should for her own health and well being, it is up to the dom to hold her and him self back so it stays pleasurable and fun.
It is a wild and crazy feeling when she is pushing for more and you want to take it but you know that you have to hold your self and her back in the best interests for her.
Just as doms push and test their sub, subies push and test their doms.
Pretty exciting sh!t.  | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/3/2008 8:34:06 AM | | Fox, Yes, i do agree with what you have posted. Some of the replys to this question seem to be really off he wall. There is a huge difference between dominating and submissive! I don't want to dominate my woman as to the point of taking her individualism away from her. As for myself I totally enjoy my woman being submissive. She knows and understands that doing as I have asked, or told her, that it is for both our pleasure, but mainly for her pleasure, and yes she knows that there is trust in the relationship, and as you said....she knows how much she is also getting me really turned on at the same time. Women who I come across saying they enjoy it soft and gentle are a turn off for me. Come ON woman Put some Spice into your life! I do think alot of women want to be submissive but are affraid. They think being submissive is to be dominated fully. You had several key words in your statement the main word you used is: Trust! I have my devilish side, it will all be for just her! She knows she is the one who brings my devilish desires to the surface. | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:31:08 AM | | From my experience, its usually in the attitude. A man who has more of a 'Alfa Male' attitude rather then a more sensative, shy one is usually the man to take charge. I am both a submissive and a aggresive depending on my mood and/or the person. I never have the exact same sex with every new partner, its always different. So depending on who you are with will determine your sex. The most you can do is tell your partner what you want them to do. There is nothing ever wrong with communicating your needs/wants with your partner. They will either except it or be to shy/scared to try it. I don't think you're asking a lot, you just like when a man takes charge, which they should do from time to time;) | |
|
| submissive women
Posted: 4/3/2008 11:59:27 AM | i have had one submissive g/f , it kind of freaked me out for a bit
until we split up , and she came round to mine , while she had a b/f at home .
did not feel a tiny bit guilty about tying her up and abusing her (in a good way :))
i have known too many women who have been raped, so aggressive sex always been tabboo | |
|
ikiera
|
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 192 | |
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/3/2008 12:37:09 PM |
I do think alot of women want to be submissive but are affraid.
I agree with this, but as you said before and after this statement what I think we are afraid of is trusting our entire soul to the Dominate and knowing that the Dom will ensure that we keep our atonomy. It is a small step process in my opinion.
a good friend of mine believes (and I've tested out the theory), that a woman feels loved when she is cerished, understood and respected.... and a man feels loved when he is trusted, accepted and appreciated.
to me that is the basis of a D/s relationship. A good Dom puts the time in to cherish, understand and respect his woman, he knows her so well that he asks of her all the things that she needs for herself to feel good and she in turn offers her submission by trusting, accepting and appreciating her Dom. The submissive decides based on what is being offered, not the other way around. How glorious it can be and those kinds of relationships take a lot of work on both their parts, thereby making it quite equal in my eyes.
So for the nillas, it really isn't about Domineering and doormatting. The warmth and love between two people who are consenting and committed in a D/s relationship is something that is quite often misunderstood due to some wannabe Dom's taking advantage of submissive women that do not know better than to give themselves away before extracting a fair value for what they offer.
I've seen the same thing happening in 'nilla relationships, only they call it a soul connection where the man is the final decision maker and the woman trusts him to think in their best interest... if he is a good dom/man, he listens to the sub and chooses based on the inteligent choice, thereby letting the sub continue to relax in her subiness which is a real turn on to him.
The exchange is all good in my eyes and in answer to the OP question, just as I've seen men like submissive women, so to do submissive women like true Dom men. | |
|
| |
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/3/2008 2:29:43 PM | I have found so-called submissive women to be very demanding. It turns out that it's the subs who are really in charge. Being a Dom, you have to do all the work. You have to plan, carrying it out, make it all happen. If that's your bag, then fine. But it's not for me.
I have dabbled with dom/sub and BDSM (which are different things, as people have pointed out). Some of the aspects of both are exciting for me. But I think limiting my sexuality to a label is, well... limiting. And the "communities"....*cack*....people who want to tell you how to do it right...just goes completely against my grain.
That being said, nothing is sexier than a chick on her knees looking up at me. And I almost always prefer to be dominant sexually.  | |
|
| |
| submissive women
Posted: 4/3/2008 2:59:31 PM | You know it's funny, I almost always seem to attract dominant men. I don't know you but I have to imagine there must be something about you that is specifically attracting men who aren't sexually dominant.
It's so easy to tell if a guy is dominant sexually. If you wrap your arms around his arm and stare up at him with a steady gaze and he gives you this very confident smile then starts touching you freely, maybe turning towards you and wrapping his free arm around your waist, you know he is dominant and you just gave him the only opening he needs to take possession of your body. If you move to go away, and he holds you an extra second before letting you go, you know he is dominant. If you act cool towards him when he first approaches you but he doesn't let his confidence ebb at all and keeps smiling but also keeps pursuing you until you either warm up or get mad, he's dominant.
That said, all these characteristics can also be the description of an obnoxious jerk. The difference really comes down to 1) how much you are attracted to the guy, and 2) whether he is accurately reading the positive/negative feedback the woman is giving him about whether she is attracted to him. | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:13:06 PM |
I have found so-called submissive women to be very demanding. It turns out that it's the subs who are really in charge.
Excellent point. I don't know how often I've heard people talking about high-powered business people who are sexually sub, and saying that it's because they need to "let go and let somebody else take charge." Not so; they're sexually sub because they can't let go, because they need to be in charge at all times.
In one book I read years ago, the question "how did you get to be a submissive" was answered with "It's because I've always been a control freak." This was followed by an excellent explanation of who really controls a D/s relationship. | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:22:50 PM | | Ikiera..I love you lol.. couldnt have said it better myself...Im a subbie (not a doormat) and I love love love Dom men he ll give me a Domme woman and Ill love her too lol | |
|
| submissive women
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:56:52 AM |
It's about two people in bed being intimate. Can't expect one of the people do be doing all of the 'work'. Take turns serving one another, find your balance...hard to stay in an imbalanced relationship. Men seem to have the onus on them these days to please the woman and make her come every time.
Sorry if I've misinterpreted, but I think you're echoing the common complaint that people who are sexually submissive are selfish lovers, require more attention, or are lazy?
WRONG. If you don't get this stuff, you don't get it. For some of us, it's simply our nature. And it's both very cool and very hot when the two complements connect. I doubt anyone I've dated would say these things...think about it...again, can only speak for myself, but I don't think it's so bad for someone I'm dating to be able to do whatever they want, whenever, wherever...or, for them to deal with my instincts during fun times...that it is ALL about them...I truly feel bad for guys who've been sexually aggressive/dominant (lucky girls!) and had that experience - that it was all about the submissive partner...as much as it may not appear so, in good connections of this type, both parties give huge to the other - this is NOT one way.
I've started to become more straightforward about what I want and what I like - looking to get the sexual match-up right - and have found that lots of men say (think?) they can play the part, but in reality they just can't pull it off. There is something unmistakable about a truly dominant "alpha male" that they can't hide, and that someone who isn't can't fake. For me on my side, I get more out of rocking my partner's world and giving to them...playing this way behind closed doors is NOT a matter of the submissive partner simply lying back and receiving.
FTR, there are two main submissive drives - the desire to be taken and used by another; and the desire to serve/please another. I think those who possess only the former can be somewhat selfish and often top, intentionally or not. Those who possess the latter can be doormatty and sometimes have major issues. There are people (like me) who are driven by both aspect. We tend to be fairly well-balanced and a heck of a lot of fun.  | |
|
| Do men really like submissive women?
Posted: 4/4/2008 2:37:09 AM | | Well, All i can say is pushy women turn me off. I like it when a woman lets me lead. I like a submissive woman that lets me be the aggressor. If a woman is to aggressive in bed it's a turn off. I like it when they ask for it and when i don't give it to them right then to me that allows us to let the romance and the heat build. To me when the romance and the heat builds up to a fever pitch that is when sex is the most fun. | |
|
|
|
Home
login 
