| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 11:43:08 AM |
The argument that if one can't stand the full treatment, and be able to fire back with equal venom, they're somehow "unworthy" enough to be a friend? What nonsense.
Who said anything about worth? If you don't like my brand of humor, than your not going to enjoy hanging out with me. So if anything, a person has determined that I am not worthy if they decide to "get out of the kitchen". I am not going to count it as a loss because my sense of humor is a part of me. The person who does not like my humor does not like me. Just because you do not understand or enjoy sarcasm does not make it perverse. I may not enjoy or understand your brand of humor, but I would not choose to go around labeling it, as if my way is better. Sounds a bit pompous and up your own @$$ if you ask me. I have great friends who will do anything for me. And we make fun of each other endlessly. But, if you cannot understand that the humor is in what is being said and not who it is being said about, or whether or not their is any truth to the statement, than it is not your cup of tea plain and simple. In my opinion, a loudmouthed, arrogant, egotistical imbecile is a person who judges others for things that he/she has no ability to understand, and makes those statements as if they are the ultimate authority. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 12:38:36 PM | I always appreciate a well-placed sense of humour. I am thankful to people who can bring sunshine in any setting. The thing is some people do equate sarcasm with sense of humour which is NOT one and the same thing.
I had once a friend who never could compliment anyone but instead applied his sarcastic play on words and you can see that he enjoyed inflicting a certain meanness to it. If he managed to make someone laugh because he would always claim it a joke, it was with a hidden offensive motive and defeats the purpose of a joke to make someone happy. It is like someone who thinks he is a comedian but have to act clownish to be funny. The difference is that it is at his expense. In sarcasm, it is at the expense of the other person or the listener. If he does it once in a while, fine. However, if his brand of humour is the type that has a certain meanness to it, with the sole offensive purpose ~~~Yep, a red flag! Most esp. in the context of how and where he delivers it.  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 1:50:14 PM | | Many of the people who have posted negative comments about sarcasm and sarcastic people seem to be missing something. Sarcastic wit does not create an @$$hole. It just so happens that some @$$holes and b*tches have a sarcastic sense of humor. Blaming sarcasm for sarcastic @$$holes is like blaming mispelled words on a pencil. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 1:56:44 PM | People who do not understand sarcasm fail to understand life's ironies.
It takes a certain level of intelligence to comprehend this.
Obviously, they lack it. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 2:02:20 PM | I have no problem with sarcastic humour from friends and family...my laughter right now is because of your analogy. Pencils don't have behaviour traits, people do... and how and when to use sarcasm and with whom is up to them. It's not like an uncontrollable tick.......or is it? | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 2:10:48 PM |
It takes a certain level of intelligence to comprehend this. ~~~sumo_sumo
Yup, people who think sarcasm is red flag are not intelligent enough.  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 2:17:02 PM | ^^^she used... sarcasm. she knew all the tricks, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire!!
oooooooh 
Complex thinking required to understand sarcasm
By LEE BOWMAN
SCRIPPS HOWARD NEWS SERVICE
Sarcasm is lost on many people, in some cases more than others, because they may be missing part of a complex set of cognitive skills based in specific parts of the brain.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/225383_sarcastic23.html | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 2:33:35 PM | @ chameleonf
The analogy was not perfect but I will attempt to explain. In this analogy the pencil is sarcasm. A person can either spell or they cannot, the pencil acts only as a tool to provide proof one way or the other. A person is either an @$$hole or they are not. How that person uses sarcasm (*if* they have a sarcastic sense of humor) will provide proof one way or the other. In other words, dont blame sarcasm for sarcastic @$$holes, blame sarcastic @$$holes for sarcastic @$$holes. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 2:43:41 PM | Holy Moses! And you believe that sarcastic people have no 'prefrontal lobe damage' and are superior in mentality based on a 2005 article? I suggest sarcasm is not really lost in people. It is just not their thing and maybe not their regular diet to continue to appreciate or enjoy. To each his own guys!
One thing I can say is I have NEVER knowingly agreed to meet anyone because he is into sarcasm, everyday of his life. Just a huge red flag for me.  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 2:49:18 PM | Tough one from my POV. So I have mixed thoughts on this one.
I can appreciate that there are different types of humor. What might be funny, clever or witty ranges all over the map. What any one person finds entertaining may be distinctly unfunny to to someone else. Sarcasm included.
I'm inclined to agree with those who separate out on how sarcasm is directed (IE msg #12). While it may be entertaining sometimes, it is too easy to cross the line and has a negative or caustic underpinning. So instead of being used to laugh with people, it's directed to laugh at a person in a way that demeans them. It's laughing at them in a hurtful way. Even if it's directed at yourself.
I'll be the first to say that I use sarcasm from time to time, but I try to be mindful that it is very easy to unintentionally hurt someone by using this particular brand of humor. So I tend to use it sparingly for that reason. Sort of like using a spice. A little may be good thing. Too much and you lose the reason for using it.
Sarcasm used to make other people feel good about themselves is cool. Sarcasm used to belittle a person is not.
Regards.
M | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 3:17:08 PM | Lost and Found, it's amusing and rather ironic I’m being lectured about being pompous and egotistical by someone who “admits” using his words as weapons—as swords, daggers—with the express purpose to “rip” others (your own word).
We come back to distinctions again.
If you’re defending harmless, witty banter and repartee, we have no quarrel. But that’s not what you’re defending -- is it. We both know that, don’t we?
I laid out what I believe the distinctions are between sarcasm and playful, innocent kidding quite clearly throughout this thread. There should be no misunderstanding, misinterpretation, or mistake in meaning here.
If, after all that, you still think “true” sarcasm is worth defending so strongly we will always clash. That’s too bad. I don’t want to make enemies of anyone, but I also know what I don’t like when it comes to behavior; what I will and won't put up with. I'm sure you feel the same about certain kinds of behavior that rubs you the wrong way, too. At least on this subject, we'll never see eye to eye. You're under no obligation to agree or even like me, and vice-versa.
Maybe in person you might come off as extremely charming and funny, don't know. If so you're probably not engaging in the textbook sarcasm I'm talking about here, and mistaking it for something else entirely. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 3:19:25 PM | | @ Lost and Found - I know...I was just being sarcastic. What struck me even funnier was picturing spontaneous sarcasm in my anology of it being like an uncontrollable tick. It was a visual I had where sarcasm spews from a person with no thought behind it (I guess you had to be there...or here...or sumpin) | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 3:43:33 PM |
...it's amusing and rather ironic I'm being lectured about being pompous and egotistical by someone who "admits" using his words as weapons-as swords, daggers-with the express purpose to"rip" others (your own words)
First of all, I was not lecturing you. I was merely providing a dissenting opinion
There is nothing inheriantly egotistical, or pompous about using words as weapons so there is nothing ironic about this exchange.
If you insist on comparing sarcasm to using words as weapons, than I would propose that a sarcastic quip is more akin to a staged attack with my beloved nerf lightsaber than an actual attack with a sword. Words can be used as weapons, but sarcasm is not an example of this IMO.
I realize that we may just be arguing semantics, and in truth you may be condemning the "websters" definition of sarcasm, while I am defending the "pop culture" definition. If this is the case, it would seem that we are comparing apples to oranges.
I stand my previous assertion. Dont blame sarcasm for sarcastic @$$holes, blame saractic @$$holes for sarcastic @$$holes.
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 6:10:06 PM | Let me be crystal clear on how "I" interpret sarcasm. The definition's very simple and offers no wiggle room for misinterpretation.
In my view, there is no such thing as "harmless" or "fun" sarcasm. It's meant to be vicious and wielded as a weapon. There are no "good" sarcastics vs "bad" ones. They're all the same in my book.
If you believe there is such delineation, you're either not practicing pure sarcasm or misidentifying it for a completely different form of verbal jousting.
Again, without knowing you personally and actually seeing how you act, any opinion about “your” behavior and personality is pure speculation on my part.
But we CAN debate the merits of sarcasm itself, and those that project it as a form of entertainment. This is a separate concept, apart from anything personal about you or me.
Pure sarcasm, as a behavior, is indefensible in my mind. I don't know how else to put it? | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:35:34 PM | | Sarcasm is not funny! It is a red flag! It leads to a bumpy road ahead. Are u up for that? It is a form of abuse in my book! | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:47:29 PM |
I had once a friend who never could compliment anyone but instead applied his sarcastic play on words and you can see that he enjoyed inflicting a certain meanness to it. If he managed to make someone laugh because he would always claim it a joke, it was with a hidden offensive motive and defeats the purpose of a joke to make someone happy.
Now, that is NOT sarcastic humor and he sounds like a verbal abuser. The person described above sound like a former brother-in-law. He could not give compliments but instead would make sarcastic comments. One day I was showing him a comic book that my then 12 year old son had made. (Son has since grown up and works for a well-known video game company, so he had talent.) Instead of looking at the book and complimenting the kid, he started making comments (what he thought were jokes). I told him to give the book back to me right now. He apologized and said that he guessed he was jealous because he couldn't do what my son had done. So, I'm guessing that your "friend" probably had a similar lack of talent or esteem and so had to bring others down.
I believe that there is sarcasm and then there is sarcastic humor. Sarcasm, nope, don't like it. Sarcastic humor used in the right way is very witty and funny. But, you have to know your audience.
Another but... sarcastic humor can be used in the wrong way as I said above. Someone can make a sarcastic comment and say it's a joke but you know darn well it's not. It all depends on the delivery, what is said, etc.
I have a male friend I used to pal around with a lot about 6 or 7 years ago before he moved back to Australia. A lot of our humor towards each other was sarcastic but all said in fun. I taught him the phrase, "Well, duh!" He thought it was hilarious. But, we liked and respected each other and still do. In fact, I visited him a couple years ago and he calls me about twice a year to chat and catch up.
Everyone can tell the difference between sarcasm and sarcastic humor if they know how to use their intuition. If the comment makes your stomach hurt, then it was sarcasm. Easy as that.
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/6/2009 9:59:28 PM | Too much of any one thing is a red flag.
Sarcasm can be an enemy or friend. People can also interpret some of the most harmless comments , sarcasm or not as something hurtful if they simply aren't following along in the conversation when it comes to the other person's intent. Some people are simply looking to be hurt by anything anyone ever tells them to some predisposition.  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/7/2009 12:05:38 AM | | I think sarcasm rocks! You're too sensitive a person if sarcasm causes you to bristle in fear or something. Most who love it have made it an art form. You either love it or you hate it. My ex-husband hated it. I love it! Love, Titus | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/7/2009 12:54:59 AM |
~~~sumo_sumo
Yup, people who think sarcasm is red flag are not intelligent enough.
I'm sure glad you didn't use sarcasm to prove your point. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/7/2009 1:05:55 AM |
Let me be crystal clear on how "I" interpret sarcasm. The definition's very simple and offers no wiggle room for misinterpretation. Yessss!!! Finally, somebody has stepped up to do this for all of us seemingly incapable people
In my view, there is no such thing as "harmless" or "fun" sarcasm. It's meant to be vicious and wielded as a weapon. There are no "good" sarcastics vs "bad" ones. They're all the same in my book. You were bullied as a kid, weren't you? Dude, most guys are sarcastic in how they relate to their buddies. Apparently you don't have many of them. None of what we say is meant to be vicious and wielded as a weapon, you tough guy, you. It's meant to poke fun. To satarize. To use humor to awake a friend from the mistake of continuing "being stupid" like we all do in our moments. Like when he drops his beer, you tell him, "great hands" as you hand him another cold one. Please, explain how that is vicious.
Mostly, sarcasm is used by the intelligent to poke fun at the hypocrisy of people on the micro and macro leve. Some of it is vicious. But, the vast majority is to stand back and take a laugh at the behaviors of people, which oftentimes include yourself. It's called having a sense of humor. You clearly do not have one.
If you believe there is such delineation, you're either not practicing pure sarcasm or misidentifying it for a completely different form of verbal jousting. Apparently, there's chapters regarding flexibilty and an open mind in your book of sarcasm. I can't wait to read them.
Again, without knowing you personally and actually seeing how you act, any opinion about “your” behavior and personality is pure speculation on my part. Good thing you haven't done any pure speculation so far.
But we CAN debate the merits of sarcasm itself, and those that project it as a form of entertainment. This is a separate concept, apart from anything personal about you or me.
Pure sarcasm, as a behavior, is indefensible in my mind. I don't know how else to put it? Reading your argument is like watching a dog chase its tail. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/7/2009 1:11:24 AM |
If you are dating for 2 days sarcasm is perfect. Gives me lots of laughter and humor - but after 2 days the negativity seeps into the psyche and begins to affect my energy level. I don't have long-term friendships with sarcastic people because they simply zap the energy fields. I like people who are positive and boring, very much like Pollyanna (well not quite like that eeks). I can live around people like that forever and ever hehehe! Sarcassm affects body biochemistry by inducing more bile production from the liver, elevating insulin levels and leading to early death through wrinkles, diabetes, stress and anger.
OMG, does the Surgeon General know this?! It's worse than smoking!
No sarcasm please.
PS: I know of such a family they are so sarcastic and incidentally most of those family members are obese and with serious health problems. They think they are so "witty" its bizzare to say the least - more like self-denial by the whole family of serious underlying problems.
So sarcasm also causes obesity? More than eating like crap and not excercising? What else does it cause? Herpes? Athlete's foot? A yeast infection? | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/7/2009 1:26:34 AM |
In my view, there is no such thing as "harmless" or "fun" sarcasm. It's meant to be vicious and wielded as a weapon. There are no "good" sarcastics vs "bad" ones. They're all the same in my book.
So whats the name of your book, I'd love to read more...
I completely agree with you, it is a vicious and wielded weapon. People should have to take class's and be properly trained like with guns and tasers to be able to use it.
I also feel they should never be able to get a concealed sarcasm permit. If they have it, it should be right in the open so the rest of us know.
My red flag would be someone with a sense of humor as dry as a pop corn fart. If they can't laugh and relax enough to enjoy something as simple as a little sarcasm, what are the chances they would ever go baby seal clubbing with me... I guess it's all in how you swing! | |
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You actually brought up some good points for a change.
