| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:48:44 PM | It really is a matter of knowing your audience AND being able to read people well.
My fellow and I constantly banter, it is all great, good fun and neither of us have inadvertently hurt the other... yet. We're both pretty intuitive about each others' capacity and reactions tho', so I doubt we'll cross the line much... and get back across it with a quick and sincere apology if it ever happens.
It is situational play and observation, we equally thrive on it and actually we're forever setting each other up, almost seeing how long we can keep something going.
(I give him all the good lines just to massage his fragile male ego).
If we weren't secure where we are with each other then it wouldn't be funny at all. It'd be quite appalling, actually.
But, as he IS secure with how truly amazing I am, err, how amazing I think he is, it is fun, even joyous. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:00:50 PM | The actual definition of the word says it is designed to cut or give pain, in an ironic or satiric manner.
A lot of people associate sarcasm with just irony or satire. And I myself am guilty of this mis-definition. Some focus on the pain part, while others have focused on the irony of satire.
I think it would help in general to mention how you define sarcasm when making blanket statements about the character of those that carry that label. After all, you wouldn't want us to get the wrong idea, right?
Bob | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:08:39 PM | I love sarcasm! I consider it a wonderful quality; which, by the way, I happen to possess. I even put a "sarcastic note" in my profile. In my experience, people who are sarcastic are usually intelligent, excellent at verbal bantering and sparing, quick witted, a lot of fun, and comfortable in their own skin (patting self on back). It's my feeling that nothing beats a great verbal game of chess! It's great to play off of another sarcastic person (for me anyway). But then again, I love the actual game of chess; so verbal chess is just an added bonus  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:34:16 PM | I think sarcasm is simply a talent for finding the silver lining in just about any situation. Given the household I grew up on, had I not had the sense of humor that I do, I'd have done something drastic to myself, like one of my best friends did. No, I was, am too strong for that, and a big reason for that is my ability to laugh at myself and at the crazy little things that happen on a daily basis.
An example of something silly, I was riding on the Dart bus in Dallas about a year ago and noticed a sign up high where they have all the advertments. One of them said something along the lines of "this is a message for the visually impaired or blind please read the following guidelines regarding blah blah" I can't remember what it was regarding but seriously? lol How can anyone not find that funny? lol
I am a chef at a retirement community... and in the ladies bathroom there is a sign about finding help should you find yourself pregnant. A coworker told me that the same sign is in the men's bathroom. lol | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:39:30 PM | Scarcasm is like dating - totally subjective and each of us have different perspectives of what is allowable or acceptable for us.
Personally, I have found that I generally dont get along with people who self-proclaim themselves as sarcastic, becuase I think many people (but not all) take it too far and use that label as an excuse to be very unkind and nasty, at the expense of another.
I have no problem with humor or laughing at myself or another person in fun, but not at their expense. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:41:19 PM | Either you enjoy sarcastic humor....or you don't......
By the way....PUT SOME CLOTHES ON....!!!!! | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:51:05 PM |
The actual definition of the word says it is designed to cut or give pain, in an ironic or satiric manner.
FEEL THE RAZOR SHARP STING OF SARCASM!!
You opened it up for that... I've always just wanted to yell that at someone... | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:53:40 PM | | I like msg 29....but I also think that in relation to the OP that sarcasm is only a red flag if the person cant take what they dish! | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:57:22 PM | Okay, to balance my man nipple comment on your other thread.....
I agree that a bit of snarky wit is a good thing. As a person who loves words and language in all it's nuances, I would feel really limited if I couldn't poke verbal sticks into ironic situations. But it should be balanced with the ability to realize that some don't play that way, and respect that. So now seeing that your a sensitive type, I hope I didn't offend you : ) | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:02:41 PM | | I was expecting the verbal stick poking to go more along the lines of 'poking verbal sticks into people's verbal eyes' and I walk away... disappointed once again. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:02:58 PM | | well, I never use sarcasm, but OP, how many hot women have you attracted by showing your armpit in your primary picture? | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:15:26 PM | Sarcasm is an unattractive quality, and like you, OP, my eyebrows go up when I read profiles that seem to be proud of it. My exhusband used this type of humour. Phrases that often followed his "joking around" were
"Cantcha take a joke?"
"You're just too sensitive!"
"I was only joking!"
Mean, insensitive and yes, abusive is what these comedians are likely to become in a relationship. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:40:00 PM | | And I'd like to point out that the word "sarcasm" comes from the Greek "sarkasmos | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 9:41:03 PM | | And I'd like to point out that the word "sarcasm" comes from the Greek "sarkasmosdbl, incomplete post! | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:04:39 PM | Thank you for posting. seems to ba a little confusion about wht sarcasm really means.
What I am talking about is Sarcasm in a relationship between lovers. not in the general comedic arena. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:17:18 PM |
Mean, insensitive and yes, abusive is what these comedians are likely to become in a relationship.
I disagree entirely, a well defined sense of sarcasm is a beutiful thing. If it's not trained and tempered - yeah it sucks.
Only the recipients of such have the ability to train it. I'm probably one of the most sarcastic sob's you'll ever meet, but I know when it's appropriate, and when it's not. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:32:15 PM | I am pretty saracastic, but I also come off as pretty dry. I have actually been told I have an attitude problem. I basically provide running commentary on life as it happens around me. The last time someone mentioned how horrible it was, I was watching a movie.
I made a comment about how bloody, groan inducingly bad the movie we were watching was. My lady friend turns to me and says, "You just hate everything! Why are you always putting these people down? You just have no respect."
I countered that I did have respect. I respected how hard the people had to work to make the film. The hardships you have to endure when you have no budget. The sacrifices you have to make in your life just to get through. And all the other stupidity any artist has to endure.
She sat there flabbergasted. "Even though I think this is an awful movie, I still watch it. And I'd watch more of this persons movies." More flabbergastery. "But you know what? It's awful."
So should it be a red flag? Yeah, if you have no sense of perspective and an insanely thin skin, absolutely. But for me, I need a woman who can look at a situation or something she finds stupid and comment on it. Especially me. Now, if it's not funny? Then I have a problem with it.
Anything you do in bad faith is a red flag. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:37:28 PM | | LIFE is a general comedic arena. What good is it if you can't make fun? | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:08:54 AM | | Are YOU trying to be sarcastic NOW ? Your post is full of spelling mistakes and words that are hard to decipher. I am not even a native English speaker, but it just hurts my eyes. There are numerous free online spell checkers for you to use. If you canot even form a complete, error-free sentence, how do you expect anybody to take you serious ? Please, this is the 21st century, anybody has access to at least the most basic educational tools. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:30:54 AM | I like sarcasm. But I think it can come from one of two places.
1)Thinly veiled bitterness at the world in general (not so good)
2)Comic contrast between what's happens and what you say
The first is not always particularly attractive. Something like going to a movie you're not very enthusiastic about and saying "Oh yeah, I bet this will be a barrel of laughs". It's a bit negative.
The second I like. That might be something more like going out for dinner with your girlfriend, having her spill her wine all over the table and then saying "You know what I love the most about you? You're so elegant and ladylike!" | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 1:43:38 AM | | Sarcasm is an advanced form of humor requiring intelligence and self-confidence to give and receive in good spirit. There's nothing worse than whipping out a clever turn-of-phrase and she just stares at you like the deer in the headlights. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:08:01 AM | | i never thought about it but i bet sarcasm is just a way for people to shelter themselves. if you're using sarcasm then nobody can tell if you're telling the truth or not so people will think you're joking if you say something against general consensus. i consider myself to have a sarcastic sense of humor but i think its a wuss bags way of pretending to communicate ourselves to the world. i'm done with sarcasm! im gonna stand up and say what i believe and drop the sarcastic weasel act. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 4:01:59 AM | That seems to be the problem OP. People are either sarcastic or they are not and I think there are actually very few people that have never made a sarcastic comment of some sort in their lives. Like anything else, it is balance and how it is used.
I think if you meet someone that is sarcastic you pay attention. There are some people that I am very sarcastic around because their humor is similar and we do not cut each other down, although occasionally pointing out each other's quirks cracks us up.
You are not I suspect going to run into someone that is not sarcastic in their daily dealings with all people and suddenly tears you a new one when they are sugar and spice with everyone else. As my first post noted, pay attention to their overall attitude about life and if they seem uber negative and need to put others down to feel good about themselves, move right along. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:03:10 AM | OP,
You still have not clearly defined what you mean by sarcastic. you said something about " being in a relationship " sort of sarcasm.
ARe you talking about the caustic form of sarcasm, when negative comments are thrust at you almost constantly about every error or mis-step, designed to hurt you?
or
Are you talking about the sarcasm about life's little "ironies" : to highlight the difference between the expected and the reality?
in the television show " Corner GAs" ( Canadian show to US members ), Lacy was dragging out a broken gum ball machine.
Hank, another character on the show, says " where are you going with that?"
Lacy says " I am taking it for a walk Hank!"
"oh"..
Hank is the butt of many jokes so her comment could be taken as a snipe or just a sarcastic comment to point out the obvious.
So OP, in your estimation, was that a thinly veiled barb meant to hurt Hank or was it just something she said to highlight that it should have been obvious what she was doing?
Had you been " hank", would you have taken offense at that comment directed to you?
I do find it really odd that the people who use the caustic form of sarcasm should be offended that someone else is offended by it.
Once you are told that " hey, i find that offensive", the person should stop . Many people on here have pointed out that they know the line not to cross and can pull back if not completely stop the sarcasm with someone who doesn't appreciate it.
If someone points out that they find it rude, you either stop and consider their feelings valid or you stop hanging around with that person.
ANd yes, when people meet someone who is sarcastic, they really do pay attention. But perception is everything, and the sarcastic person may not realize that the reason for this attention is not what they believe.
SAme thing is true for self-deprecation; people who are like this may not be having their 'signals' being received in the way they originally intended.
If the sarcastic person is sarcastic but not in tune to other people's feelings, ( oblivious ) they come across as simply caustic , insensitive and innappropriately offensive. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:17:53 AM | | the humor in sarcasm is directly proportional to one's intelligence/common sense/openness...most people who say they are sarcastic aren't. from what i've experienced, they just like "dark" humor. And most repeat the same one liner WAY too often. that's not sarcasm...that's lack of creativity which is the exact opposite of sarcasm. so for me it's not really a red flag. just means they can hopefully find humor in places you wouldn't think it existed. | |
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