| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:58:23 AM | I have a sarcastic bite and witty sense of humour.
I am not aggressive, nor am I a Meany and I certainly don't have unresolved issues.
Geez I sound nice.....Maybe it's me I have been waiting for all this time.
A red flag? Nah. I see a person with NO sense of humour and no sarcasm as a red flag.
Sarcasm funny or not? .....It depends on the circumstances. Everyone has been sarcastic at some stage. If it comes across as unnecessary sarcasm then perhaps it could be put down to a jealousy issue. Outside of humour the two generally go hand in hand.
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:41:14 AM | | Wit is in the eye of the beholder and a tongue like a rapier rapidly loses its edge when used too often.There is gentle humour and there are obvious put downs. Good sarcasm makes people laugh at them selves and reply in kind with laughter.Hurtful caustic remarks diminish the spirit. The person who hurts you and then says cheer up is to be avoided.The one who makes you laugh at yourself and life stick with them. Saying that my sense of humour constantly gets me into trouble with guys. who misconstrue it.I have a flirtatious sense of humour and well it gets taken too seriously. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:13:18 AM | A sense of humor and sarcasm are two entirely different things. Medical books classify it as starting at the root of anxiety and anger. Its a way to blow off unsuitable things yes but its rooted in anger. Its very defensive at times.
Wit and humor are passed down through the ages...that is why we see our fathers humor in one of our children for instance.We use humor to defuse an uncomfortable situation...but sarcasm and humor are not the same thing... | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:25:14 AM | | I love sarcasm as long as it doesn't include a viscous barb directed at somebody present within ear shot. When it is used to insult or hurt somebody often that is when "the sh%t hits the fan". | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:28:39 AM | | I don't like sarcasm, so to me it's a red flag. I especially hate it when someone says something mean, then says "I was just kidding. Can't you take a joke?" I don't keep people like that in my life. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:41:51 AM |
I love sarcasm as long as it doesn't include a viscous barb directed at somebody present within ear shot.
That is the definition of sarcasm.
Sarcasm:
(Dictionary.com)
1. harsh or bitter derision or irony.
2. a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.
(American Heritage Dictionary)
A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
(online Etymology Dictionary)
1579, from L.L. sarcasmos, from Gk. sarkasmos "a sneer, jest, taunt, mockery," from sarkazein "to speak bitterly, sneer," lit. "to strip off the flesh," from sarx (gen. sarkos) "flesh," prop. "piece of meat," from PIE base *twerk- "to cut" (cf. Avestan thwares "to cut"). Sarcastic is from 1695.
(Wordnet)
witty language used to convey insults or scorn; "he used sarcasm to upset his opponent"; "irony is wasted on the stupid"; "Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own"--Jonathan Swift | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:47:07 AM | | i like sarcasm. in small doses.. its fun, people dont annoy me easily, im pretty l.aid back so i just find sarcasm funny :) | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 7:49:21 AM | | Thank you Desi...people think humor and sarcasm are the same...contempt in any relationship is a recipe for failure...its an attempt to make others look bad..and that to me is not a joke! | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:46:56 AM | "A sense of humor and sarcasm are two entirely different things."
This is a quote: "Sarcastic humor, yes it is the healer of our soul. A cup of reality mixed in with some slap-my-face humor...." That's why it's called sarcastic humor, which most certainly exists. Intelligent people combine the two. And no, not everyone appreciates it, but I sure do. Also, most of my friends having biting sarcastic humor -- and that's exactly why I love them!! People such as yourself would think my friends and I didn't like each other if you heard us talk at times. However, you'd be very wrong. We love to play with words and life which sometimes turns into, oh, I don't know -- sarcastic humor  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:00:43 AM | It depends on who is using it. Some people are good at it and it's funny. Some people are purposely mean with it. Some people are unintentionally mean with it.
Frankly, sarcasm is one of my favorites. I think I'm good at it. And my friends seem to enjoy it and use it themselves. But...we all know it's all in good fun. If I sense that someone doesn't like it, I won't include them in the sarcastic comments.
There are some people who absolutely can't deal with sarcasm of any kind. I think they're likely the ones who've experienced abusive sarcasm by someone who is verbally/emotionally abusive and cloaks it in "It's just a joke." The receiver of this type of abuse eventually sees ALL sarcasm, no matter who it's from, as being abusive. The abuser hit under the belt so many times with sarcasm that it's ruined for the person. Maybe it was comments about the size of their a**, or the pimples on their face as a teen, or their little hands, or their big head, or their bow legs.....We all have weak spots that no one who cares for us should smack at. Unfortunately, abusive people ferret out those weak spots and poke at them incessantly. Too bad really. I think the majority of sarcasm is meant in good fun.
Some examples....a guy calling his friend with the belly Buddha...because he has that belly and because the guy knows all sorts of wierd freakin stuff or a girlfriend saying "Keerist...Arugula's drunk already" when you fall off the boat at 8 in the morning...knowing you haven't been drinking anything besides orange juice. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:55:14 AM | I love entymology, so I'll go right to the root of the word ... which also happens to be the root of my problem with it. The word comes from the root word Sarca ... which means to tear flesh.
I do not find anything attractive or desireable about tearing flesh. Monty Python's dead parrot routine is hilarious. Bill Cosby's Noah's Ark routine is gut busting. The guy with the sledgomatic is fun if I have some protection. Laughing at myself with loving acceptance puts life in perspective. A Friar's roast or the comics who rip other people apart are like fingernails on a chalk board to me.
However, that reaction to sarcasm is in alignment with everything else about me, too. First do no harm - emotional, spiritual, mental, physical - to self or others under any excuse, rationalization or justification - especially "just kidding" or "game" or "being funny." It likely comes from being the youngest in a family that need someone to kick and I was the target back then. No more. I don't need such people around me anymore.
To those that think it is a lack of intelligence to dislike sarcasm ... I have a doctoral degree and significant career success. Lack of intelligence stopped being something I could be accused of back in my childhood. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:01:29 AM | I definitely do not view sarcasm as a red flag! I enjoy a witty/tongue & cheek type of sense of humor once and a while.
It becomes annoying when you are hurtful to a person or do not know when to stop. i.e. there is a time and place for everything | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:06:25 AM | I'm the poster girl for sarcasm and tongue in cheek humor. I try not to use it to hurt others though, although I've been told that I'm funniest when P1ssed off. This is because in many situations I have to "behave myself" and have some dignity so I turn it into humor.  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:11:48 AM | | I agree with you...it is a red flag, because only insecure people feel the need to insult others to make themselves feel better. I can tell the difference between funny and just plain insulting and I prefer not to be around that type. If someone likes me, I don't see why they would insult me. Honest critism is fine but sarcastic pokes at ones being is just rude and would only be a bumpy road ahead. I think people should really think of the golden rule...only dish out what you want to get back. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:20:03 AM | To me, sarcasm is a conversational tool. Its how you USE that tool that matters so much. One can use it to be mean or one can use it to enliven a situation.
Its like a knife. If I walk into a public school or airport with a knife, its a weapon. If I walk into a kitchen or workshop with the same knife, its a useful implement. Even if I never use it!
Personally, I like sarcasm. But I realize there are many other fishes out there who don't. That means we just won't get along, so I go fishing again hoping to find a sarcasm-compatible fishie. My profile is full of sarcasm, so any sarcasm-resistant fishies won't likely get past that. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:16:20 PM | I'm still trying to grasp why so many people consider sarcasm to be such a terrible thing... plenty of people have already said it can be used either way and I'm pretty sure everyone agrees that it's not good when you try to disguise an insult as a joke.
"Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, jest or mock a person, situation or thing. It is strongly associated with irony, with some definitions classifying it as a type of verbal irony intended to insult or wound.[1][2][3][4][5][6][7] An example of sarcasm is using "that's fantastic" to mean "that's awful".
It is used mostly in a humorous manner, but can express annoyance or anger.[8]
Fyodor Dostoyevsky defined sarcasm as "the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded."[9]"
Uh oh. I see HUMOR in there! Everyone better grab some fresh pants! | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:19:20 PM | CAnoe guy,
thinly veiled attempt to get us to view your profile... it worked.. although.....lol
your profile has the gentler, kinder version of sarcasm..
GEneral :
the OP hasn't been back to talk about which form of sarcasm he is questioning.
MOst people on here have agreed that the caustic form is very damaging in the short term as well as long term.
NO matter what, people on the receiving end may not ever forget the remark , nor will it's effect ever go away completely. Some compulsively sarcastic people seem to be completely oblivious to that fact It's like they can't help themselves.
The problem will SOME people who self-identify as being sarcastic is that this also requires a high degree of self awareness and intuitive sense as to who can handle it, when to use it, what not to mention (don't be sarcastic with a person who is sensitive about his large nose or her fat ass about those very things )and when to stop.
People SAY that they know all these things however this is not always the case.
I think many people have been in the uncomfortable situation of being in a room with someone who won't stop with the same sarcastic comment masquerading as a joke. These nutbars laugh uproariously at their own joke and take offense at anyone who takes offense.... " what's up with him? I was only joking !" | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:39:51 PM | | Sarcasm does not necessarily mean that someone is cruel.Obviously you are not the type of person to find a sarcastic sense of humor funny.We would not get along well at all. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:22:16 PM | "To those that think it is a lack of intelligence to dislike sarcasm ... "
I didn't get the impression that most people thought you had to be intelligent to LIKE sarcasm. I believe it was stated you have to be intelligent to BE sarcastic.
Also, cruelty and sarcasm don't necessarily go hand in hand - they can, but they don't have to. I am very sarcastic at times, but I never deliberately hurt anyone. One can be cruel without being sarcastic, one can be sarcastically cruel, and one can be just plain ole' sarcastic  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:49:57 PM | red flag is you are the butt of the sarcasm and it's clearly not well intentioned
not a red flag if you find it amusing and funny.
sarcasm for some is a self protective mechanism, sometimes unconscious or thinly veiled aggression
sarcasm for others is just plain clever irony. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:07:44 PM | Momarks,
Mssg 50. Excellent. You've described both sides of this debate.
ARe you talking about the caustic form of sarcasm, when negative comments are thrust at you almost constantly...
or
Are you talking about the sarcasm about life's little "ironies" : to highlight the difference between the expected and the reality?
IMO, your Corner Gas episode is humourous...and it is sarcastic.
I've experienced your former description of "sarcasm" for 15 yrs in a relationship not easy to walk away from. So, for me, when I read in a prophile, that someone has a sarcastic side, it's a pass. BTW, sarcasm comes from Greek and it means "to tear flesh". For some reason I couldn't post that yesterday. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:28:10 PM | Your dating life must be hell OP.... dealing with people that have a sense of humor.........
What's next? You meet a woman, and come back here saying she's too serious? | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:47:38 PM | You have to know how, and when to use it.
And it helps to be good at it.
Could I MAKE this any clearer?  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:48:22 PM | there is a black and white to sarcasm. Depends on how people take it. For me, If it's on the joking funny side of things it really wouldn't bug me. But if it were on the cruel side of things just to be an ass or a ****, then I wouldn't give them the time of day.
I have a black and white sense of humour as well, less sarcastic but more of an attitude kind of sense of humour. I can say things or do things that might cause people laugh or do things that cause people to get pissed off. | |
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