| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:44:46 AM |
This is, perhaps, the most elucidative and brilliant thread I've ever seen on POF or any other of the 17 or 18 internet forums I regularly comment on. It sings, like a choir of perfectly pitched cherubs serenading God Himself, of a purity of thought and purpose that I can scarcely bear to enjoin my mind from engaging at this time. My God, man, how did you come up with this? What robust spirits of vigorous thought and examination have possessed you to tear open the very fabric of the old paradigm and flood it with a brilliant starlight that is nearly blinding in its beauty and illumination? My God. My God.
How did you do this?
i think that the spirits were a bottle of jack daniel's. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:45:07 AM | wtf???is everyone out there thinking they`re the 2nd coming of dr. phil or something?sarcasm is in everyone of us,since the dawn of civilization!damn get a grip people,accept it and get on with things,stop looking for that so called pefrect person,theres no perfect person,there was only one perfect person in history and the jews crucified him!pull your heads out!
YOU are sarcastic, therefore everyone is? Not true; sarcasm is a choice; it's what comes out of our mouth and we control that, the same way we can choose to speak the truth or not insult people. I don't understand the 'perfect person' reference...are you implying that sarcasm is a flaw and only perfect people aren't sarcastic?? Get a clue. The shallowness and faulty thinking of some people here amazes me. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 5:53:38 AM | | I don't think he even hinted at sarcasm being a flaw. simply that all people have some sarcasm in them...at varying degree's. and i think he was saying you shouldn't let the degree deter you from the person if they are like-able in other senses. which i disagree with. if someone does anything to a point you are not happy with...you don't have to tolerate it. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 6:06:07 AM | | Sarcasm is said to be a low form of humour as its intent is generally to get laughs at someone else's expense. The pointed humour may not be funny to the victim but its funny to those who understand the barb as it feeds their intellectual egos. This is because sarcasm is a form of humour that is known to require the highest functions of our brains. Areas of the brain that decipher sarcasm and irony also process language, recognise emotions and help understand social cues. Sarcasm is related to our ability to understand other people's mental state so it's not just a linguistic form, it's also related to social cognition. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit only to those who have never mastered the art, and those who always fall victim to it. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 6:12:27 AM | So how do you account for the use of sarcasm against yourself? I do this all the time as well as leave the door open for someone to crack a joke at my expense. To me, its a way of showing that I dont take myself too seriously and am approachable. It is a useful tactic both with my family and my young adult students.
And what about using it when referring to things as mundane as the weather, congress, or GW Bush- i.e. John Stewart ect? | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 6:49:09 AM | sarcasm comes from the greek word 'sarkasmos'...biting of the flesh....i know some think it's humor or even a sign of intelligence...but it's not...it doesn't take high intelligence to be sarcastic, no not at all... it's mean spirited and base...maybe that is one of the reasons are world is such a mess...we think it's funny to be mean and cruel?.....i prefer someone with a kinder, gentler spirit who doesn't have to tear someone down to build themselves up...
rose.
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:07:55 AM | "I never knew sarcasm was negative, lying, deceitful, cruel, mean, and whatever else...
I feel enlightened now that I've seen the error of my ways. Thanks."
OMG!! That is hysterical! 
I'm going to continue to be an evil wench! Sarcasm rules!  | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:41:02 AM | Never do i try to get laughs at someone Else's expense.I am not a cruel person and to make fun of someone else is not something i could or would ever do yet i do have a sarcastic sense of humor.Sarcasm does not necessarily mean that you are being cruel to others.I have met so called sweet people with so called normal sense's of humor and when others backs are turned are the most vicious and hateful people you will ever have the misfortune of running across.
I know too well how it feels to have others be cruel to me so i would never do this to someone else.We all need to have a laugh at ourselves sometimes in this world and not take ourselves to seriously otherwise we may as well give up and lay in our graves.I like it when a person has the ability to laugh at themselves and to find humor in the foolish things each of us do. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:55:46 AM | Sarcasm does mean ripping or biting flesh. But the word has evolved some and I think we have reached the point where it now refers to things that are in fact abusive and demeaning as well a more light hearted version of it which has ended up in the same catagory.
If it is hurtful and at someone's expense, it is wrong. but if its playful and a two-street, about one's self, or about totally external things and doesnt hurt anyone (except for a useless politician not in the room, its about society in general, or the weather), it shouldnt be seen as such a big deal. Maybe we need a new word to separate the two, but we don't. Any suggestions? | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:08:36 AM | i am probably sensitive to the whole topic because i was such an expert at it...in fact, it was one of the contributing factors to the decline of my marriage...i used it as a tool to deflat another person...and didn't like who i had turned into to...i suppose sacrasm can be used in a gentle spirit...but i gave it up...it is indeed my issue there...
it does come from the greek word meaning 'biting of the flesh'...learned that in therapy!
hey, if you all want to be sacrastic...go for it...
r. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:28:12 AM |
Sarcasm does mean ripping or biting flesh. But the word has evolved some and I think we have reached the point where it now refers to things that are in fact abusive and demeaning as well a more light hearted version of it which has ended up in the same catagory.
I suspect many people mean ironic rather than sarcastic. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:34:57 AM |
Sarcasm is said to be a low form of humour as its intent is generally to get laughs at someone else's expense. The pointed humour may not be funny to the victim but its funny to those who understand the barb as it feeds their intellectual egos. This is because sarcasm is a form of humour that is known to require the highest functions of our brains. Areas of the brain that decipher sarcasm and irony also process language, recognise emotions and help understand social cues. Sarcasm is related to our ability to understand other people's mental state so it's not just a linguistic form, it's also related to social cognition. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit only to those who have never mastered the art, and those who always fall victim to it.
There are many people having this higher brain functioning, ability to decipher sarcasm and irony, who have this ability to figure out other people's emotional state and social cues yet DO NOT indulge in caustic irony or even less abrasive verbal sparring. They also understand that the potential for harm to the recipient or disaster to the social atmosphere TRUMPS their use of sarcasm.
While you need some intelligence to use and understand sarcasm, you also need an even GREATER command of your intelligence and higher functioning skills to REFRAIN from doing so when the situation warrants.
It is the needless caustic sarcasm that causes so much harm- the time and place of the sarcasm is only used to fuel the speaker's needs while adding little if anything to the social structure.
FEw people however, feel any regret or sympathy to the recipient when it is obvious that he/she is deserving of being torn a new one - even if only in a subtle way that may not be clear to the recipient but obvious to everyone else involved. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:53:06 AM |
I think Canada has a red flag
It's white with a red maple leaf.
or ..
it's a red flag with a very strange white overlay.
maybe you see the two faces as opposed to the one vase. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:54:15 AM | Well you might try to improve your spelling to get your point across better.
Also I wouldn't put much effort into to trying to analyze the written word here. How we treat a general audience and how we treat people whom we are close too may be quite different. Also sarcasm is certainly part of human nature. It's only a problematic when it over used or used to simply hurt others. Finally, sarcasm often communicate our feelings better about certain topics than thousands of word essays!
The Eagle | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 9:18:21 AM | joro,
Sarcasm does mean ripping or biting flesh. But the word has evolved some and I think we have reached the point where it now refers to things that are in fact abusive and demeaning as well a more light hearted version of it which has ended up in the same catagory.
If it is hurtful and at someone's expense, it is wrong. but if its playful and a two-street, about one's self, or about totally external things and doesnt hurt anyone (except for a useless politician not in the room, its about society in general, or the weather), it shouldnt be seen as such a big deal. Maybe we need a new word to separate the two, but we don't. Any suggestions?
1. sarcasesque?
2. sarcasm-lite?
3. sarcasmini?
A rose is a rose
i am probably sensitive to the whole topic because i was such an expert at it...in fact, it was one of the contributing factors to the decline of my marriage...i used it as a tool to deflat another person...and didn't like who i had turned into to...i suppose sacrasm can be used in a gentle spirit...but i gave it up...it is indeed my issue there...
it does come from the greek word meaning 'biting of the flesh'...learned that in therapy!
hey, if you all want to be sacrastic...go for it...
r.
Rose, Sorry that you had to go through that.
I was going to add that people who constantly use sarcasm in a relationship- even the kinder gentler version- will have that come back to bite them in the bum. AFter a while, the constant negativity ( and it is often perceived as something negative by the receiver ) wears thin.
They will discover that what they have lost is far worse than the benefit they gained from that style of conversation.
Sadly, some people only discover this when some disaster happens and they are forced to reflect upon what they have done that contributed to this misfortune.
For those people who persist in using sarcasm or even sarcasmini, you still have the right to complain about the consequences but don't be overly surprised that people don't take your complaints at face value or even seriously.
NOw, those people who are nicely sarcastic in a good way, this doens't apply to you. But you were smart enough to figure that out with my telling you anyway... | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 9:35:59 AM | I call everything I cant put a name to "fred." but from the list i would go with sarcasesque. this shouldnt be about sarcasm in general. It should be about using to hurt people in specific.
My students laugh at my bed head and I always say if it wasnt for bad hair, i would have no hair at all.
OK? its definately sarcastic, but hurts no one. if i substituted 'you' for 'I", then maybe... but i dont. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:02:18 AM |
Sarcasm is said to be a low form of humour as its intent is generally to get laughs at someone else's expense. The pointed humour may not be funny to the victim but its funny to those who understand the barb as it feeds their intellectual egos. This is because sarcasm is a form of humour that is known to require the highest functions of our brains. Areas of the brain that decipher sarcasm and irony also process language, recognise emotions and help understand social cues. Sarcasm is related to our ability to understand other people's mental state so it's not just a linguistic form, it's also related to social cognition. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit only to those who have never mastered the art, and those who always fall victim to it.
DING DING DING
We have a winner. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:18:22 AM | sarcasm is good though plenty of women think it's negative. to be able to joke about everything demonstrates intelligence in making conenctions between two often disparate items.
though this post was not initiated by a woman, i know women do seek out jerks by overlooking all the smoothness or edgy traits that could be based in lies and opt to screen out guys who are sincere and not afraid to speak their minds, whether it be shown in sarcasm, and a woman could easily find a fault in these men yet when there appears to be no fault, that's when her red flags really should be raised...usually by age 40 or a divroce or two usually is required for this awareness and it's sad. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:34:49 AM |
YOU are sarcastic, therefore everyone is? Not true; sarcasm is a choice; it's what comes out of our mouth and we control that, the same way we can choose to speak the truth or not insult people. I don't understand the 'perfect person' reference...are you implying that sarcasm is a flaw and only perfect people aren't sarcastic?? Get a clue. The shallowness and faulty thinking of some people here amazes me.
Seriously, how about you take your own advice. My line of work is stressful and I regularly trade sarcastic comments with coworkers. It's our way of letting off a little steam and sometimes airing what bothers us without having to Dr Phil the heck out of every darn little thing in our lives.
What I find interesting about people who don't understand or appreciate sarcasm is that they generally jump to the conclusion that it's extremely mean-spirited. It's not that they just don't like sarcasm - they absolutely hate it! No grey area.
I think this disdain is based more in sensitivity level than intelligence as I've known many intelligent people who really hate sarcasm.
Sarcasm, through it's biting wit, is a good way to describe contrasts, in my opinion, and to expose absurdities. "It's a good thing we're spending a trillion dollars in Iraq, otherwise we might waste that money on useless stuff, you know, like education and social security reform!" | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:55:50 AM | Having a dry sense of humor is often mistaken for being sarcastic.
& as the earlier post with the def of sarcasm said, it's also defined as irony. You can come out with a one liner refering to the irony of a situation & bring the house down without being sarcastic at all. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:56:29 AM |
Sarcasm, through it's biting wit, is a good way to describe contrasts, in my opinion, and to expose absurdities. "It's a good thing we're spending a trillion dollars in Iraq, otherwise we might waste that money on useless stuff, you know, like education and social security reform!"
once again, it appears that people are not quite understanding this. The OP, although hasn't been seen much around these parts lately, has said that it's not the comedic version of sarcasm he didn't really explain anything actually.... he cleared that up well ! he he he... clear as mud.
He's talking about the sarcasm that couples use with each other, NOT in good fun but to point out something that perhaps should be talked about but they don't. It's awful for some people to watch or listen to.
I remember listening to one woman berate her husband several times over the course of a couple hours. THe sarcasm was almost dripping from her tongue. It seemed almost venomous as you could see the life leave the guy. She however seemed to be unaware of the effect.
You can change the pronouns on that one as many men do this to their partner as well.
People who are not thrilled by sarcasm are commenting on the overuse of CAUSTIC sarcasm.
Caustic= bad. . very damaging to the person.
witty observation succinctly stated= good
specific personal trait ( fat, ugly, etc ) comments said " in fun" = not so much
Many people certainly do appreciate someone's rapier wit when the so-called absurdities of life are pointed out.
There will be always someone who doesn't get it. but that's life.
There's another issue in there when the person stating these things make it obvious that he believes that only he sees the absurdity. but that is a different kettle of fish.
But then again, I shouldn't have to explain any of this to anyone as those with that elusive higher functioning brain would have known all of this intuitively.
Indeed. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 12:25:33 PM |
OMG!! That is hysterical!
I'm going to continue to be an evil wench! Sarcasm rules!
I am merely showing sarcasm at work.
"Sarcasm[A] is stating the opposite of an intended meaning especially in order to sneeringly, slyly, JEST or mock a person, SITUATION OR THING. It is strongly associated with irony, with SOME definitions classifying it as a type of verbal irony intended to insult or wound.[1][2][3][4][5][6][7] An example of sarcasm is using "that's fantastic" to mean "that's awful".
It is used mostly in a HUMOROUS manner, but can express annoyance or anger.[8]
Fyodor Dostoyevsky defined sarcasm as "the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded."[9]"
That sure was hard to figure out. | |
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| Sarcasm red flag or not?
Posted: 3/1/2008 12:48:25 PM | I'd like to thank all those POF members who warn in their profiles that sarcasm is a big part of their dialogue and "if you aren't comfortable with sarcasm, then we probably wouldn't get along." It's a good heads up towards weeding out us incompatibles.
However, that they put this in their profile in the first place, indicates to me that their sarcasm has, in their past, rubbed relationships in the wrong way. I'd venture that on some level, many of you pro-sarcasm fans know that along with sarcasm, you have this veiled power and intellect to cut others -
so that you, yourself or an audience can applaud your dry wit.
Going Dr. Phil on all of you, I think that, at times, sarcasm is a cover for low self-esteem. Sort of a deflection tool.
And I'm talking about the type of sarcasm used against one's partner in an intimate relationship. | |
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